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Notes From a Red Pill Girl

~ A site for women interested in a red pill perspective (where men are welcome too!)

Notes From a Red Pill Girl

Monthly Archives: April 2014

All Sex is Rape

29 Tuesday Apr 2014

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Red Pill

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

abuse, feminism, gender, rape, red pill, women's studies

All sex is rape. Yep, you read that right.

Or that’s what my women’s studies professor said in college, anyway.

So if that’s true, that means every single person on the planet is a product of rape, too.

Yep. Even you.

I am not making this up!

Anyway, that was the moment that I realized maybe feminism wasn’t for me. That feminism, as I understood it, had gone too far.

Oh, and the same teacher also said all men are abusers, all of them.

Yep.

I would have dropped the class but it was required to graduate. Naturally.

All the guys sat in the back. I can only imagine what they were thinking about all of that.

 

 

The Tale of Baby “X”

28 Monday Apr 2014

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Gender

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

androgeny, feminism, gender, gender roles

One day when I was in the second grade (late 1970s) my teacher read the class a story about a baby whose parents simply called it baby “X.” They would not tell anyone the baby’s gender, nor would they allow the baby to wear gender specific clothing, or to play with gender specific toys. The moral of the story, as far as I could grasp, was that baby “X’s” parents thought being an “X” was better than being a baby boy or a baby girl.

I don’t know what prompted the teacher to read the story, but I can remember even then being very puzzled by it. What did baby “X” think, I wondered? Why would baby “X’s” parents do such a thing? And mostly I felt sorry for baby “X” and his or her not being able to be a boy or a girl.

Maybe the point was that baby “X” was a person, and that being a person was better than being male or female? Does being male or female take away from one’s being a person? Does giving girls trucks and boys dolls or scolding boys for liking trucks or girls for liking dolls (if indeed they are drawn to these toys themselves, not “told” they like these toys) really “solve” anything? Will playing with dolls make a girl incapable? Will playing with trucks make a boy insensitive?

The “genderless” movement continued for many years, and can still be found here and there. Years after hearing the tale of baby “X” the story came back to me when watching the popular “Pat” character in Saturday Night Live skits. It was as if baby “X” was all grown up, living out the supposedly better “genderless” existence, to the confusion of everyone.

In short, I get what the genderless movement was about, but I think it reinforces the stigmas it is trying to overcome rather than eradicates them. It implies being a male or a female (depending on one’s point of view) is better or worse than being a “neither” or a “both.”

I disagree. I think women are wonderful. I think men are wonderful. I think children are wonderful. And I think everyone should let them simply be who they themselves are, rather than try to tell them who or what to be. Let baby “X” figure it out. After all, it’s baby “X’s” life, right?

Thoughts on the Nobility of Men

27 Sunday Apr 2014

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

dating, feminism, male privlidge, marraige, masculinity, men, relationships

In our culture today, few talk about the nobility of men. We’re much more likely to hear about how they are abusers, users, creeps, cowards, oppressors, buffoons, women-haters, skirt-chasers, wussies, and so on.

Images in the popular media portray men as simple stereotypes: The clueless and useless man the wife rolls her eyes at and pats on the head. The macho player cad who leaves a trail of broken hearts in his wake. The ruthless misogynistic jerk. The bitter, angry man. And yes, there are these men. But I would argue they are the few, not the many.

The more I study men in various places around the manosphere, the more I see another side: a true and steady nobility. While men don’t go on and on about their feelings and thoughts as openly as women do, when they do share their inner thoughts they often reveal still water that runs deep.

Another thing I see is that many men today are hurting, deeply. They wonder why their marriages aren’t working. They want nothing more than to find a girlfriend. They mourn the loss of children they are denied access to by court order. They are afraid to be accused of sexual harassment for looking the wrong way. They are afraid to approach a woman to talk to her and to be mistaken for a pervert. They can find a girl to sleep with but not one who will give him her heart. Their concerns are marginalized, their voices unheard. They are hobbled to the post by assumptions that they are the cause of all the world’s (and women’s) problems. And if they dare complain or speak up, they are accused of male privilege (or worse).

But the truth is, most men are simply wonderful. They are achingly handsome. They are intelligent. They are strong. They are brave. They are loyal. They are kind. They are helpful. They are virtuous. They are hard working. They are honorable. They are tough. They are heroic. They are sexy. And some might say, they love deeper and truer than women do.

So while it’s been a long time since we’ve needed them to slay actual dragons, they are out there doing it in big and little ways for their maidens each and every day. And I, for one, adore them for it.

And here’s a little secret you may not hear so much anymore in a post-feminist world: Men aren’t our enemy. They want to be our allies. It’s ok to love men, to respect them, to honor them, to swoon over them. They like it. It won’t make you less of a woman. And it doesn’t happen nearly as much as it should.

 

Beware the Carousel

25 Friday Apr 2014

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Sex and Such

≈ 37 Comments

Tags

casual sex, dating, hookups, ltr, marriage, red pill, romance, sex, sexuality

Have you ever heard the term, “She’s a carousel rider?”

If not, it’s a derogatory way “Red Pill” men refer to a woman who is single and sleeping around. The carousel rider may be involved in a string of semi-serious or serious monogamous relationships, short term flings, one night stands, casual hookups, or some combination of those options.

And they care. And they notice. And even the most self-proclaimed man-whores (his claim, not my label) among them look down on women for it.

“What?” you may ask. “How can they? Men sleep around all the time! What’s good for the gander is good for the goose. That’s a double standard. My body, my choice.” And so on.

And while that all may be true and women have been told that men don’t care anymore about these things, clearly they do.

Why? Well believe it or not, it’s a rather small number of men who are enjoying the sexually open marketplace we currently live in. Many good solid guys who are perhaps less charismatic, or less able/willing to chat up the ladies, who are sitting it out for moral reasons or who are actually pursuing their studies instead of pursuing tail, or whatever — are not getting laid every weekend, whenever they feel like it. Like the gals their age are. And while they sit on the sideline, watching girls ride the carousel, they are taking note.

Why do they care? Aren’t they just bitter losers with small dicks who can’t get laid? At first some struck me that way, but after listening to them tell their side of the story another version emerged. Many are actually good solid guys who still believe in love and romance and all those things so currently out of fashion. (They are called “betas” unlike that hot stud at the bar all the girls want, he’s an “alpha.” p.s. Alphas rarely commit, because like you, they have lots of options. Betas, on the other hand, fall head over heels in love with girls, and while they are often maligned, I believe many to be great mate potential. You may want to stop putting them in the friend zone and try going out with them, instead. Another thing you may not have been told so clearly anywhere else.)

These guys say what bothers them the most is this. The thought that these girls are out in their teens, 20s and 30s whooping it up, sleeping with the hot guys, doing all sorts of who knows what, and how they don’t want to have to compete with all those memories later, when those same girls decide “someday” they want to settle down, with a good man, who has a good job, and who would make a great dad. Yep, those same guys who are sitting at home, without a date, reading, cooking gourmet meals, and pursuing interesting hobbies, because girls they like aren’t calling or texting, because they are hung up on or chasing after some alpha, right now.

Some would say women are and have always been the gatekeepers on sex. Men are in turn the gatekeepers on commitment. In days past, men got sex by making a commitment. Today, with birth control, sex doesn’t inevitably mean pregnancy, as it once did, and so these good guys say women opened the gate on sex, and now good men are in return withdrawing the option of commitment. After all, they say, a deal is a deal.

So not that I am judging, heck I am no saint myself, but before you go home with that amazing studly guy you just met, ask yourself this, is that something you are going to want later tell the man you want to marry? And how will he feel about your “finding yourself” in this way?

And yes, some men won’t care, maybe they are out there shagging it up too, and they get it that things have changed. But trust me, I was surprised myself to read on many a message board as man after man said, “No way. I won’t want her,” on no uncertain terms. And I wondered how many women realize this and are factoring that reality into their casual sex decision making?

Not to sound like your Mom or something, but is your going home with this man who is saying to you clearly that, “No strings, just sex” really in your best interest, anyway? Condoms (if you are actually using them) only protect against so much. There are STIs (sexually transmitted infections) like hpv (genital warts), herpes, crabs and other things you can still be exposed to even if he wears a condom, things you won’t be proud to tell your mom, or anyone, about.

Plus, even if you escape any infection, will all of those casual sex experiences also create a hardness and jadedness in you, over time, as you get your hopes up that maybe this hot guy will be different, or this hot guy will suddenly decide you’re “the one?” At a certain point, a woman has to turn off the emotional switch that successful long term relationships depend on in order to be OK with the casual “Sex in the City” experience.

Carnivals are fun, no doubt. But chances are they aren’t a place where you would want to live or be for the rest of your life. So beware the carousel. Everything has its price.

 

Don’t Confuse What You Want With What He Wants

24 Thursday Apr 2014

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

dating, marriage, relationships, what men want

In your relationships with men, are you confusing what you want with what he wants?

If you spend the majority of time on dates talking about your job, your education, and your accomplishments — (or if you are married or in a relationship and are doing the same) I hate to break it to you, but you are.

But wait, how can that be? All your life everyone has told you that these are important things to focus on, mountains to climb, and “successful modern woman” boxes to check, right? You’ve gotten kudos, atta girls, and awards for achieving these things. Magazine articles and books aimed at women have told you men value these things in women. How can talking about these things to men on dates (or putting them ahead of your relationship or marriage) be wrong?

(Insert your psychotic meltdown here. I know, I know, I had one too the first time I encountered this information, after spending most of my adult life doing all these things. Go ahead, break some stuff. Light things on fire. Stab a voodoo doll with pins. Whatever makes you feel better. I’ll wait…)

It’s a concept called projection and it goes something like this: What you think is attractive or worthy is what you think other people (aka men) will think are attractive or worthy.

In other words, you find men with an education, good career, and lots of accomplishments attractive. Most women do.

But do you know what men find attractive? According to men, most women don’t have a clue.

So what do men find attractive, if not your education, accomplishments, or career?

(If you are a highly successful, independent woman, you may want to find a padded cell before reading on…trust me…)

  • How you look
  • How sweet, pleasing, and easy to get along with you are
  • How much you care about the things he cares about

Yep. That’s really what guys find attractive. How do I know? Because I have spent countless hours on message boards reading what real men say, while they are under the safe cloak of anonymity, and it’s just that simple. And according to them, its also very, very hard to find. Not only that, they also say if they could find a woman who understands this, they would lock her down in a heartbeat! Surprise.

But if you don’t believe me, maybe you will believe it coming from a guy.

And btw, I am not saying a woman’s education, career, or accomplishments aren’t important or worthy goals, for her, just that these things are not the things that are going to attract him.

Hate the message, not the messenger.

 

 

This S#&t Is All F*$ked Up!

24 Thursday Apr 2014

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Red Pill

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

blue pill, feminism, MMP, PUA, red pill, sexual revolution, SMP

If you are an adult woman (or man) who is single or married or married and now single or whatever your certain situation, how’s that working out?

I truly hope the answer is “Great!” and if so, I am very happy for you. Keep it up. You may not be able to relate to the rest of this but then again, surely even if you yourself are happy, you still know those who this whole “modern” dating-relating-love-marriage thing isn’t going so hot for.

Have you ever wondered why? Why is everything so messed up? Why are so few people happy? How did we get here?

Let’s go back in time, about 40 years ago…even though it all started long before that. But we’ll eventually get there too.

Right before I was born, two things happened nearly simultaneously – the sexual revolution and the women’s liberation movement. All backed by the pharmaceutical development of the birth control pill right when a whole generation came of age. Kaboom. What had always been there smoldering,suddenly burst into flame.

Social norms that had existed for centuries (millennia?) were suddenly passe. Quickly discarded relics of an ancient age. The risk of pregnancy, always a deterrent (or a reason for shotgun weddings) was much less of a factor. The birds and the bees went wild. Anything went, everything went, and nobody could really even remember anymore how it went before or how it was supposed to go after that.

Now, fast forward a few decades. Everybody’s getting it on and life is one big groovy party, right? All peace and love and rainbows? World peace achieved? Happy, happy, joy, joy? The genders embracing like never before? Bliss? Well not exactly.

Like this guy, he sounds pretty pissed. Or this girl. Or this guy. Or this girl. Each with their own story and take on the new SMP (Sexual Market Place) and MMP (Marriage Market Place). None seem to be saying it’s all splendor in the grass. Well ok, maybe this guy. Or this one. But I digress. That’s a whole other blog post (or likely many!) as I explore all the different takes on the red pill world (yes, even from the domain of the PUA a.k.a. Pick Up Artists promoting Game) as I search for truth and understanding and share what I think of all this hullabaloo, from a female (but not necessarily feminist) perspective.

For now, I’ll just summarize: I am starting to realize we are all unwitting participants in the biggest social experiment in perhaps the history of the world. And what is largely the outcome so far?

Short answer: This S#&t Is All F*$ked Up! Not that I am saying no thing good has come of these changes, but to say it’s all progress is the ultimate in blue pill thinking.

So now what? I don’t even begin to pretend I know all the answers, but I certainly do have a lot of questions. Questions I now wish I had asked a long, long time ago. But better late than never. I’m going to be asking them now. And telling that story. And maybe I’ll even stumble upon some answers about the meaning of life and love along the way. Anything’s possible.

Welcome to the notes from a red pill girl. Read them if you dare. Sometimes the truth hurts, but it can also set you free.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can’t see from the center.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/k/kurt_vonnegut.html#bWIJ0WiX6OyhpbYf.
I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can’t see from the center.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/k/kurt_vonnegut.html#bWIJ0WiX6OyhpbYf.9
I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can’t see from the center.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/k/kurt_vonnegut.html#bWIJ0WiX6OyhpbYf.99
I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can’t see from the center.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/k/kurt_vonnegut.html#bWIJ0WiX6OyhpbYf.99
I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can’t see from the center.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/k/kurt_vonnegut.html#bWIJ0WiX6OyhpbYf.99
I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can’t see from the center.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/k/kurt_vonnegut.html#bWIJ0WiX6OyhpbYf.9

 

Notes from a Red Pill Girl

21 Monday Apr 2014

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

It’s only a matter of time…blog posts to come.

For now, ponder the following:

“This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.”

~ The Matrix

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