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Ladies, something that has become very apparent to me upon lurking about the manosphere for months is that we women are largely riding roughshod over the feelings of the men in our lives, whether they are lovers, friends, family, or co-workers be it intentionally or unintended.

It’s something women would be good to be more mindful of, as we naturally and biologically tend to approach the world according to what we need and want, which has its place, as long as it doesn’t supersede that all the other people in the world (including men) also have a right to needs and wants of their own.

Here are a few specific examples, told by men themselves:

  • lovers who are very passive in the giving end of lovemaking. Either self absorbed (I need x, y, z to create my ultimate experience and who cares what you need or want) or simply passive (you’re lucky I am letting you have sex with me at all, why should I do any more than that?)
  • friends or family who meddle in a man’s personal life or affairs from trying to match make them to browbeating them into conforming to whatever YOU think they should be doing or how they should be living
  • bringing “girl” drama to the workplace and upending the apple cart of productivity
  • thinking everything they say or do it about you, than about them
  • taking advantage of male friends by expecting them to be there for you emotionally and so on like a boyfriend, except they aren’t your boyfriend and you never intend them to be
  • automatically assuming a man will pay for everything when dating or assuming all of his resources (time, money, etc) will be directed toward what you want once married
  • demanding that everything be perfect before you will bring anything to the relationship in return. All your needs and wants must be met first as a condition of his needs or wants being met

And so on. There are more examples and I welcome any men reading along to add them as comments.

If I have learned anything from the manosphere, it’s that men are much more complex than society at large gives them credit for. They have deeply held emotions, needs, and wants — just like women do. So if you want to improve your interactions with the men in your life, start thinking about what they need, feel, and want and not just what you do.

And here’s an idea: why not ASK him what he thinks, wants or feels, instead of assuming?

Let those who have ears hear

 

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