Something I didn’t appreciate nearly enough about my ex-husband was the fact that he often acted like a caveman.
My response to his caveman-like behavior was to try to civilize him, lecture him on manners, or get into a snit.
In retrospect, I can now see that instead I probably should have thanked him, made him a nice dinner, and dragged him upstairs when he did caveman like things such as firing a shotgun off in the yard, usually in his underwear, shortly after we moved into our home, which had been vacant and abandoned for some time and had become a place for local riff raff to congregate, because he wanted to send a message to them loud and clear that the place was now occupied by a lunatic caveman so they best steer clear.
And steer clear they did. And in fact steer clear they still do, to this day, even seven years since I asked the misunderstood caveman to move out. His shadow and philosophy that the best way to deal with crazy neighbors was to BE the crazy neighbor continues to protect myself and his daughter to this very day.
My poor caveman. He was so under-appreciated. I really, really, really do regret that and wish I had understood him better then, and had spoiled him more, and gazed at him with loving appreciation as he stood there, in his underwear, firing a gun, warning off the hoodlums largely for my sake so his silly woman could live in the house of her dreams even if he personally just wanted to ride his motorcycle and not spend every weekend working on an old house just to make her happy.
I really do regret not treating that man much better, he certainly deserved it. I hope his wife (he recently remarried) understands cavemen better than I did. And just picks up his socks, and washes them, and makes him dinner, and gives him good loving with a cheerful heart and resists the urge to civilize or change him. Because I think really, that’s all he ever wanted. He deserves it, he’s a good man, faithful, hard-working, and true.
And if I ever find myself captured by another caveman of his caliber, next time, I know what to do different. Too bad I had to learn that lesson the hard way.
Let those who have ears hear.