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It’s no secret that the male and female minds work differently, but have you ever heard of the word solipsism? It’s a particular feature of the female mind that somehow interprets all information, comments, and actions as being about her personally.

Now I am sure there is a biological reason women’s brains are wired this way, and that overall it helps women and serves a purpose, but it can also cause a lot of problems and misunderstandings if a gal is unaware of the tendency to think it’s all about her.

Likewise, this tendency can also cause a gal to overlook the thoughts, feelings, and needs of others because she is too busy focusing on her own.

For example, one male commenter at a popular manosphere website described past relationships where he was considering proposing. In both cases he asked first what the gal thought she would get from their marriage. And both times, she was ready with her long list. Then he’d ask what he would get. And he’d get a blank stare. In both cases the gals could not come up with one thing! He said even a reply that was wrong would have been better than realizing they had never thought about that at all. (Surprise! Proposals were not forthcoming.)

Another male commenter described how he was recovering from a very serious accident, barely able to walk or get up without much pain and effort. A former flame heard of his plight and rushed to his side. But instead of paying any attention to what he needed, maybe making him some soup and holding his hand, she ended up getting mad at him because they didn’t have the romantic encounter (aka sex) she was expecting. (This, despite the fact that his entire ribcage had nearly been crushed among other near fatal injuries and he was in no condition to get busy.) She left in a snit.

Another commenter shared the painful tale of his wife suddenly deciding after being married for several years and having children that she, “just wasn’t happy.” She, “loved him but wasn’t in love with him.” And so she left, with the kids. What did he get? To make hefty monthly alimony and child support payments and to rebuild his frivorce shattered world. Despite his reportedly being a good and loving husband.

Noted, there are two sides to every story, but the point here is in all these cases, solipsism actually caused these women to lose. Yes, you read that right. These women actually let their solipsism derail what they wanted. A proposal. A reconnection. And in the third case the woman did not find happiness, instead she found life to be much harder and less stable on her own. Her choice did not lead to happiness for her (or the kids!)

So while solipsism is an inborn feature of the female mind, it does not always work in a woman’s best interest or lead to her making good choices, for others or even for herself. Being aware of this, stopping to think about the bigger picture, remembering it’s not all about her, understanding despite what women are told they really can’t have it all yet not give up anything, and taking the needs and wants of others into consideration won’t just serve other people, it will also ironically help the woman herself avoid a solipsism induced disaster.

In short, don’t be your own worst enemy, ladies. Be aware of solipsism and how it can cloud your thinking. And while you are at it, take any “go girl”” solipsistic type advice from gal pals with a grain (or mountain) of salt too.

Let those who have ears hear.

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