A post by a fellow male blogger on women and bad boys has me thinking, do women really prefer bad boys? And if so, why?
If you haven’t read the linked to blog above, I highly recommend it as the rest of this post will make a lot more sense if you do.
I think the author is right about the primal draw of the bad boy, historically. Not so long ago, dinner didn’t come from the store and civil unrest was a fact of life. Birth control was also non existent, so sex = babies, and babies = a woman’s ability to take care of it all herself is highly compromised. Hunt or fight off foes with a howling baby (or several) in tow while taking breaks to nurse and clean up poopy butts? I don’t think so.
Back then woman needed man much more than man needed woman. (And some would argue this is true even today, and I might agree.) And preferably woman needed a man who could hunt and protect her and their children. Enter the bad boy meme.
Now back then he wasn’t so much a bad boy as probably an average guy. Perhaps there were a few shaman types who stayed back at camp and practiced medicine and led spiritual rituals but for the most part all the other men were hunters, warriors, and laborers. And likely all three. That was the “job” of a man.
Women had babies, took care of children and the elderly, cooked and prepared food, made clothing, kept up the camp, packed up and moved the camp, gathered plants and roots, and so on. That was the “job” of the woman.
Then agriculture happened, then industrialization, then specialization. Somewhere in there came money, and the disconnect from every man and woman being self sufficient but part of a larger whole, using money earned at a job to barter for goods needed to survive.
Today’s accountant (no offense to accountants, just picked a random job to illustrate) doesn’t hunt to put food on the table or fight off foes and perhaps even hires out his labor like yard work, building, and fixing things. The accountant understands money, and earns money, and so can provide and protect in today’s society. But what if society collapsed? How well would the average accountant do?
And thus, my theory is, creates the appeal of the bad boy. If shtf, I think women still understand in a primal and ancient way that the bad boy is going to be able to provide and protect. The bad boy isn’t worried about the ethics of doing what needs done. The bad boy isn’t going to shun violence, or have issues with killing animals to eat, or even lose sleep over stealing from someone else if he has to.
So who is the better bet? Logically, it’s the accountant. Instinctively, it’s the bad boy.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not advocating women start corresponding with dangerous felons or even choosing an unemployed thug over a gainfully employed accountant. I am just saying, if you find yourself drawn to the bad boy, this is probably why.
Ideally a gal can cover her bases by seeking a gainfully employed guy with good character who is solid and true, but also has a bad boy edge and could do what it takes if he had to.
And guys, if you are more the accountant than the bad boy, don’t be afraid to let your inner caveman out to play. Hunt. Fish. Climb rocks. Shoot guns. Raise and slaughter chickens. Play sports. Build fires. Brew beer. Howl at the moon. Hit stuff with sticks. Throw rocks. Be stinky and dirty every now and then. Let your beard get scruffy occasionally. Get back in touch with your neanderthal side. Chicks dig it. Even if your mom told you they don’t!
Let those who have ears hear.