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beauty, casual sex, commitment, courtship, dating, divorce, gender, gender roles, happiness, heartbreak, infidelity, love, marriage, men, red pill, relationships, romance, sex, strong independant female, submission, true love, what men want
In the past year or so that I have been lurking about the manosphere reading what men have to say about love, marriage, relationships, and women, I have learned some surprising things, like they wish women would:
1. Be pleasant: That sounds easy, right? But far too many men say it’s is really hard to find. Today, men say it’s far easier to find what they don’t like in a woman: sassy, gossipy, self-absorbed, nagging, bragging, adversarial, independent, argumentative, drama-driven, immodest, and immoral.
2. Ask About What He Likes: Many men say they feel like far too many women seem to think a relationship means everything and anything SHE wants. Guess what? He had feelings, wants, needs, and dreams, too! Ask about them. Then remember and do your best to implement them into your time together. From as small as what’s his favorite cookie? Meal? Drink? Ice cream? To planning a trip to a place he’s always wanted to go, these actions will lead to huge bonus points for you!
3. Be Loyal: Men like it when women have their back in public (even if you politely disagree later in private). Guys also say it’s very appealing to know you won’t run him down to others. And you would think it would go without saying, but lots of men say far too many gals leave them wondering if they could be faithful, or would cheat if they got the chance. Men are very loyal minded. Trust is big.
4. Look Pretty: Men are very visual. And they like when women look pretty. Yep. I am not making this up! Skirts, dresses, flattering jewelry, attractive hair and makeup, and other “girly” touches make a guy visually happy. Not that he doesn’t like “the natural you” but he likes “the feminine flair you,” too. And he notices. Not that it has to be over the top. Think Marianne, not Ginger.
5. Be Supportive: Men say they can’t resist those gals that act like a first mate, not ones who war for the captain’s chair. A relationship is you two against the world, not you two against each other. Yet, men say they aren’t looking for doormats, either. Being supportive of his career, goals, dreams, hobbies, and struggles will pay off for you both. Oh and have your own dreams and goals, too. Men like to hear about and help you achieve those, too.
6. Have Your Finances in Order: Guys say too many women they have met seem to spend every penny they have, and then some. Debt isn’t attractive. And men especially don’t like women who seem to have a get out of debt plan of, “Find Price Charming who will deal with it.” Um yeah, nope. A woman who has financial self-control shows good partner potential.
7. Show Don’t Tell: Women tend to verbalize what they are thinking and feeling much more than men do. A man would rather his gal show him how she feels about him by being affectionate, attentive, and kind than by talking about it for hours on end (while not noticing he’s awkwardly wondering how to escape!)
8. Keep It Simple: Women’s minds are always on the go. We enjoy talking out loud with our gal pals, dissecting our every emotion and experience, pondering all the possible options and outcomes, and breaking it all down. Guys? Not so much. Guys are more bottom line. When you REALLY want to make a point, keep it to 5 words or less.
9. Maintain Respect: It’s been said that if they had to choose between respect and love, they would choose respect. Women usually answer the opposite – love. Obviously both are important. But you will get a lot of “street cred” with a guy by showing him respect, and especially keeping your emotional cool during heated moments. Focus on resolving the issue, not attacking his character.
10. Love Him True: Even some of the most gruff guys in the manosphere show a soft side when they talk about love. Men love with a devotion that few women can fathom, it is so different from our own feeling-based love. They say once a man loves a woman, he makes that choice and then will love her forever after unless she actively takes steps to destroy that bond. (And yes, his heart can hurt badly too, so be gentle with it.)
They don’t really sound all that hard to do, nor are they really anything new, buy guys say these traits are extremely hard to find in a woman, yet highly attractive. Why not adopt these irresistible habits?
Let those who have ears hear. And please feel free to add your own thoughts in the comments. Have I left anything out?
Somebody broke the man code telling you this stuff…Or was it witchcraft? 80
(Good list, you’re right)
Redpillgirlnotes,
All great points on the interpersonal level but, you overlooked something big-FOOD.
If he is as hungry as a bear, please feed him before he turns into one.
See what happened to me?
1. Be pleasant
Good lead in to Farm Boy’s next post this is.
what they don’t like in a woman: sassy, gossipy, self-absorbed, nagging, bragging, adversarial, independent, argumentative, drama-driven, immodest, and immoral.
Zoe Quinn this would describe.
Worked in short term it did.
Excess carbs bear does need.
High protein diet he should be fed.
I’ll be at the neighbors, but if you run across a lonely bear, invite him.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Excess carbs bear does need.
“Excess carbs bear does not need.”, it should be.
Dark Side temporarily Yoda did paralyze.
Mama Bears correctly they should feed.
Regarding 8.
When I was married and my wife had a problem (not with me, obviously), she seemed to make it a competition to hide/avoid/obfuscate what the actual problem that she did want help with was. I swear it would take more time, effort and patience to get to the issue, than it did to solve it.
I don’t know why. She would start the conversation, I wasn’t pushing where it wasn’t wanted…the marriage was okay at that point.
Do women have to make things so difficult? Or do they genuinely not know what the issue is? Men enjoy helping their woman, it isn’t a competition with a loser and winner. Both should win.
Whoever decided that men and women are the same must have been smoking something potent at the time. That said, the differences can have a certain charm.
@ Fuzzie, Oh yes, I need to link to the post about Men Like Food!
Here it is:
https://notesfromaredpillgirl.com/2014/05/28/men-like-food/
@ Yoda be sure to tell Farm Boy to send me the link and I will add it!
Redpillgirlnotes,
That was agreat post. Now , we have to figure out how to get more girls to come here and read, so that they can be happy making others happy.
“Happy” is contagious.
@ Spawny it’s hard to say without a more specific example, but I think women are taught (socialized) to dance around the tough stuff, drop hints but not just say it. I know when I have something that’s hard to say and I am not sure how to put it politely, that’s when I get the most tongue tied. And at other times if I am still in the phase of feeling something really intensely, like someone made me mad or upset, it can be hard for me to turn off the emotional long enough to connect with the logical and explain what I am thinking because I am too busy feeling, if that makes sense? Reaffirming you care and want to talk about it when she’s ready is a good way to handle these moments. Usually w a few hours or a good night of sleep she will be able to communicate it better.
@ Fuzzie indeed, happy is good! How is it we have made that so complicated? I was thinking that as I wrote this, these really aren’t earth shattering ideas but they are so often overlooked.
Oh and yes, in case any are wondering, I have been doing these things above in this new relationship (we met post my red pill awakening) and am happy to report very good results! Imagine that?
Thanks for the thoughts. Good night.
Yup, these are good points for a relationship to have.
1. Both partners should take pains to be pleasant. You don’t have to be a blinding ray of sunshine, but a smile for your lover and others goes a long way!
2. Absolutely. A relationship involves *two* people, not one. You should strive to be with a partner who will do more than absentmindedly nod or causally agree with your opinions or statements.
3. Trust is *huge*. Nobody likes to be humiliated, especially in public. That’s one of the things I love most about my lover…he doesn’t speak over me or make fun of me like my father and stepfather used to, so big points there.
4. I’d do this more if;
a. I was comfortable pretending to be feminine
b. He wore tighter fitting clothes too.
5. Goes along with #3. He has me make the decisions, knowing that I’m keeping both our interests in mind. At least things actually get *planned* when I do them, lol.
6. Debt may not be “attractive”, true. However, most of us have at least some and it shouldn’t deter a relationship unless the other person is somehow expecting you to pay it off. My debt is my own, my FwB is his own…the fact I’ll be debt free way before he is doesn’t mean my income will be given to him.
7. Both of us are already really good at this. I find that small, consistent tokens of affection are superior to other ways of showing you care about each other.
8. I actually laughed out loud when I read this one…in my circumstances, he is *definitely* the more talkative/emotionally reliant one. Not that I mind, of course. It’s just opposite from the typical reality.
9. I asked my lover recently, and both of us said respect. Most interestingly, we both also said that love was simply a romantic form of respect…Yet another reason we are on the same page so often.
10. As I was discussing with Cill before, I experience love in a very masculine way…I know that if I had to spend my life with only my FwB, I would. I’d gladly take a bullet for him, because the pain I’d physically sustain would be nothing compared to knowing my lover was injured or killed if I didn’t do something. Love imo isn’t an emotion. It’s a part of you that, when nurtured for long enough, is a requirement for living.
That is my 2 cents about your list, Bloom. 🙂
LOL if the man is pleasant the vagina dries up
as a man you must always assume her plan is for you to pay off her debt… marrying is dumb but marring an woman with debt is extra dumb. But she will not pull her fiscal weight on paying for dinner etc if she is loaded with debt
Thanks for adding that Tarn! As you point out individual circumstances can vary so this is an in general list, adjust accordingly 🙂
Scfton do you really think gals don’t like guys who are pleasant? If not that, then what do girls like?
the last thing a man should do in the smp/ mmp is do what a woman suggests. the opposite is good way to go
my suggestion? call the shots like a boss or treat her like a child
oh chauvinism always plays well too
Oh scfton! Lol. You may be more right that we ladies would like to admit. If you are saying women like men who are strong, in charge, and know what they want in life rather than momma’s boys or Peter Pans, I would agree. The feminine is attracted to the masculine and vice versa.
10 Surprising Things Guys Like in a Women
Surprising they are not.
Women in sand their heads they do bury.
think of it this way darling, would the man-o-spehre and the Red Pill see the kind of growth that it has if being pleasant toward women was a successful mating stratagem?
Most men are pleasant by default the difficult part is training that our of him so he can land and keep a girl
Kind of like if women were capable of putting things above themselves, being rational, moral etc feminism would have made the country better/ stronger etc. vs being an epic cultural death spiral
LOL just so darling and why men must ignore the dating etc advice of women…..
I meet a girl a few days ago. She was trying to bust my chops and I told her no man wants that bullshit in a woman. She told me all the standard blue pill shit women say about what they like in men and asked me what I liked to see in a woman. I told her “I like to see ’em nekked”. She called be a douche bag and a typical guy and I kicked her out of bed this morning.
see how that works?
@ to.n you do seem to have found a style that works for you! I am mot sure it would work for all guys, takes a lot of bravado to go that route! But yes, a guy approaching w confidence works. And it works far better than not approaching at all!
Will you be getting turkey dinner in afganastan? How’s the food in general?
thing is darling it proves that women rarely say what turns them on. Mostly I think they are delsuional themselves
Food her sucks but we built a smoker and will be doing turkeys and steak. Maybe some veggies….. girls are supposed to bring the sides but we are throwing down hard
Yeah youre a douchebag.
LOL awesome
Well guy if youre trolling thats one thing, otherwise you’re an asshole.
LOL even better the wailing of the butt sore beta. I love it
Man you sound tough, have you experienced a lot of wailing butt soreness? Its ok if you love it but there’s other blogs for that.
LOL awesome. This is not my house so I won’t say more but stroll over to my place. I’ll be your huckleberry
Yeah youre no daisy.
come on, play the White Knight with me fella.
@scfton I am wondering if Wilson read what happens when someone calls you douchebag? Seems like they end up in your bed! I am not sure if Wilson is a gal or a guy.
its a guy, but might as well be a woman. I upset his world view that betas are the real alphas and women don’t be long on a pedestal. No rational reply then anger directed toward woman who somewhat agree with me further eroding his world view and psychological comfort. blue pill chumps value comfort over truth or anything that disagrees with their wold view. sense of self is small
@ scfton is your turkey day over or yet to come? Have a good one!
done darling and thank you. hope all was well for you and yours
Related to No. 6, peripherally, and Ton’s remark on a woman’s behavior when this or that modest check arrives at the table: Few women are actually very generous.
I understand that they enjoy having a man take care of them, which means most women enjoy a guy who doesn’t let the check sit on the table for 25 minutes. (I don’t, doesn’t matter if it’s men or women, but other men keep score on who bought the drinks or dinner last time, and will adroitly refuse to be subsidized.) So most women in the dating market are quite incapable a) of noting a man’s financial generosity; and b) of realizing how annoying it is to be treated like a walking ATM card. Especially divorced men who have already been forced by the State to rebuild their balance sheets a time or two. We’re already going into a dating relationship with our radar set on maximum range, and the target is not a thunderstorm, but the gold digger hiding inside those clouds. Women have demanded equality in all things, which is fine, but uniquely they are able to rationalize using men for sweets and treats.
It’s a wonderful thing to encounter a woman who refuses to let social convention turn her man into a cash machine. Obviously it’s very rare that two people are financial peers — but again, that’s true amongst men socializing together, not merely in dating situations. Any guy with some dignity, regardless of his financial position, will refuse to be subsidized. Likewise, most men I know will blow off the dude who is always in the john when the bar bill needs to be paid. So we recognize immediately any woman who gracefully carries some of the financial water.
Further, generosity is not constrained to throwing cash on the table. My latest romantic interest, when she visited my home, always brought something small and pleasant to add to my masculine environment. Examples: aromatic candles for the kitchen and bedroom; a small plant for the kitchen window; the fixings so that she could make me cornbread while I prepared the steak and asparagus. She’s not rich, she’s just generous. When I told her once I was doing some fall cleaning (I clean everything including walls twice a year) she actually showed up with cleaning tools and some spic and span and pitched in. Actually, I would say such small tokens of affection, or simple gestures of support, are worth much more to me than her throwing down cash at the restaurant, though she did that too. They remind me of the good times in my marriage, when we both contributed, and our home and pleasures were a mutual responsibility.
It’s really quite rare. It’s really quite obvious. Women who don’t get this usually say, if I bring it up, that they were “waiting for you to say something.” They’re denying responsibility for their behavior, assigning it to the guy, and suggesting that they want him to manage through complaint. But any man who manages his relationships through complaint is a) unattractive; b) stupid; c) ignorant of his better options.
Yesterday a former girlfriend, from the fancy side of DC, sent me pictures of the Matterhorn; she is skiing in Zermatt. I have dated her off and on for years, as I find her to be brilliant (Ph.D/MBA), attractive (eastern european, tall, and very fit), and very, very sensuous. She’s in love with me. So she sends me the SIW’s typical adventure travel selfies, as that is supposed to make her more desirable. (It’s her girlfriends, not her male friends, who give a shit about her ranking in the Travel Herd.) She doesn’t realize that the way I read the overture as “I am dropping $10K on a week in Zermatt, wish you were here! (and paying for it instead of me).” In 10 years she’s never bought me dinner, never made me dinner, her Christmas gift last year was a tea pot (I drink coffee). This woman drives a $120K Mercedes SL. I would no more enter into an LTR with her than I would a professional escort; actually, an escort has a better chance, because at least she would be honest about her expectations and financial dependency.
I would add “generosity” to your list. And it does not mean to compete with, or match dime for dime, what a man contributes. We do not expect that, and in fact, it reminds of secretaries squabbling over how to split a lunch check 7 ways: not attractive.
Second suggestion: “Respect” without kindness is cold and meaningless, in any romantic affair. “Kindness” without respect, equally so. As you know, I am suspicious of women who drop the “I love yous” cheaply and often; it’s usually code for “I want something.” So in BVs book, “I love you” can mean anything, but kindness, respect and good sex are as rare as beach weather in Labrador. And they are far more foundational to any LTR than an infatuated chick’s breathless announcements that “You’re the one!” Save that breathless stuff for the girls, an intelligent man doesn’t believe in unicorns, RomComs, and magical thinking.
There’s a woman in my rearview mirror I should have married. (I was only four years out of my marriage and not as together as I presumed.) I spent years trying to figure out why I should have trusted her more. Three of her prominent virtues were that she was resolutely kind, respectful and highly sensuous. She had other virtues, important ones, but these created the template or filter that governs how I make sense of current girlfriends and their fitness or suitability for someone of my nature.
Third suggestion: get off the clock. A mature woman, noting the ticking biological or SMP clock, usually asks me between month 1 and month 3 “Where is this going?” This is like seeing red lights explode in the aircraft panel: danger, if it’s not on fire, it’s about to be.
It’s unfortunate but true: a divorced man with any brains, and not just a projected desire to couple up and replace his former marriage like a stooge would, is more cautious than a divorced woman. This should be attractive, not unattractive to a smart woman.
Women think they have more to lose because of the offset attraction curves for men and women in the SMP. That’s too bad. It’s not my fault she’s a woman or she’s divorced or she’s content to ride her feelings into a permanent commitment faster than I will. It’s self-sabotaging to whip a horse to gallop when he’s already cantering along just fine.
Fourth, related to my redefinition of what “love” is (kindness, respect, lots of action): most women are self-centered and inept in the sack. They don’t think so, and they think that a man who gives them what they want is therefore happy with his sex life. Consider the levels of projection operating here, the levels of solipsism.
It’s understandable because when we’re young, just giving it up to a guy is a big win for him. So most women have a “you can have some now” approach to pleasing a man. Newsflash: high value men (the ones you want to be with) are, or might be, turning down sex more often than taking it. One reason is adult sex with the average woman is more often performance than mutual pleasure.
Male sexuality is so damn simple it’s amazing that adult women don’t know anything about it. Particularly weird is the mature woman’s desire for exclusivity/monogamy (I’m not in Ton’s league with the poly shit); what man in his right mind is going to allow himself to be locked down with a woman who is not a good and generous lover? I’m fond of all of the women I date, obviously, and I’d also say that 80% of them are clueless here. I’m being hustled by one at the moment who kindly complimented me: “You such a gentleman in the street, and a bad boy in the sheets.” Well, newsflash: that desire is a two way street.
The feminist critique of this outlook is that men have been corrupted by porn, unlike the delicate flowers who would never, ever fantasize about being tied up and banged by a Christian Grey. This is fatuous, false on its face, and ignorant of an uncomfortable truth: if I want or need to have pornstar sex, it’s available with a few keystrokes, three ben franklins, and a room at the Holiday Inn. Women should just educate themselves, talk to their dude, and remember that men enjoy happy endings too.
Any woman over 35 who doesn’t memorize this book is either selfish, dating a moron like Wilson, or practicing self-sabotage (the same thing, I guess, as the first two). Male sexuality is trivial to understand, way way easier to absorb than the mysteries of female desire.
http://www.amazon.com/Sex-Tips-Straight-Women-Gay/dp/0060989092/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1417185759&sr=1-1&keywords=sex+tips+for+women+from+a+gay+man
My last outspoken opinion is that women these days of the educated persuasion filter men by their politics. The same women lament their reduced dating options. Cognitive dissonance much? Anyway, this is one of the weird attributes of the UMC fetish for “assortative mating.”
Most of my girlfriends are conventional progressive feminista liberals. (Until the lights are turned low.) A few aren’t but the majority are. Mrs. Smith actually started crying once because I was ridiculing Hillary over something, and she even, in tears, said, “I want you to stop saying mean things about Obama.” (What’s even more bizarre is that Hillary just about got her killed.)
Fair enough. She can have her politics, I’ll have mine. I do draw the line on listening to NPR. We all need to make sacrifices in the service of love.
One way I manage this, since I can’t stop being a policy man, is that I distinguish now between discussions of politics and discussions of policy. So Mrs. Smith and I last night had an hour-long Skype conversation on ISIS, the Kurds, counter-insurgency, and the like (i.e., policy). We both have agreed, implicitly, not to discuss the political buffoons who have created that mess.
So my final suggestion is to live a little, and go play in the fields of love without first demanding a man’s opinion on this or that political talking point.
BV lays out my $30 max per bang reasoning better then I ever could and he also nailed in on generosity and women
PS even among the UMC class women I use to chase being a Southern Nationalist was golden. Added to the Bad Boy cred I reckon
My female crowd is rabidly anti-gun. I leave my G19 out on my dresser or bedside table. There’s a Mossberg in my guest closet, where it is visible. Given my amateurish skills, this is borderline dishonest, but it does warm up the room another couple of degrees. More Jenny Holzer stuff, I guess: ‘Protect me from what I want.’ What do women want? Just ask, and then invert it. At least in my experience, with a great many of them.
The unicorn I should have married did get upset when she saw a .270 cartridge on the fireplace mantle, and asked me to put it away. The sight of it frightened her. But she is the only one.
yea bro gun game is a killer in the UMC. When I was dating the pharmacist I showed up late for one of her house parties. I kissed her, went to my spot took my wallet out etc and then placed my gun on top of it. They all freaked but I hogged the lady attention afterward
All good thoughts bv, thanks for adding them. To clarify I agree 100% with the don’t do the “where is this going” song and dance. I made that mistake once early on after my divorce and let’s just say it was the end of that. I base a lot off a “if I have to ask, there’s the answer” approach. No need to rush, as long as things are going well and getting better w time all is good. I don’t even necessarily need to get married. Together is a state of being, people can be married and not have it or Unmarried and do. Bv you always have such great insight to add, thanks for adding it! You guys have taught me much! And belated happy thanksgiving!
@ bv and scfton, case in point, my current beau, his ex wife was attracted to him bc he was a ca motorcycle cop, swat team, sniper adreneliine junkie. After they married she went right to bringing out the beta. Insisted he change careers to something “safer.” Fast forward a few years and she’s giving him books like “sex starts in the kitchen” to explain why no boom boom. Then despite her daily 4 am bible devotionals what does she do in the end? Yep run off with a bad boy sherrif, who then dumped her. But the judge still gave her 75% of the spoils. Whenever he tries to put me on a pedestal I jump right off, knowing what that dynamic means for us both.
LOL where is this going? I start off by telling them its going to end in them running a way in a panic or their semi permanent sexual slavery
Damn Scfton is transgender? Didnt know that before but it all makes sense now with the douchebag ending up in bed.
Wilson, scfton is not transgender!
That’s Tarn. Oh dear….
Well whoops.
Lol, scfton is probably the absolute *least* likely person to be trans. Honestly though, I’m not trans, I’m gender dysphoric.
http://tarnishedsophia.wordpress.com/2013/06/16/wrong-body-right-mind-living-with-gender-dysphoria/
http://tarnishedsophia.wordpress.com/2014/01/12/gender-dysphoria-and-sex/
I’m confused as to why scfton’s choices in sexual partners makes more sense if he wasn’t cis though…
I agree that he is an asshole. However, if he has succeeded in getting women to commit to him in both relationships and casual sex situations, then I’d hazard a guess that such behavior is what they desire. Some women do like assholes, for whatever reason. I personally don’t understand it…my own FwB relationship is one of uncommitted monogamy, trust, respect, love, and strong friendship. I’d never be attracted to someone like scfton, because he has few traits I value, and far too much of a tradcon/gender roles oriented personality.
But it doesn’t matter what I find attractive or decent. Nor does it matter what you find attractive or decent. It’s up to scfton and his partners to find a path of happiness/fulfilment that pertains to *them*. If that’s what they are doing, and nobody is getting hurt, who are any of us to judge?
“what they don’t like in a woman: sassy, gossipy, self-absorbed, nagging, bragging, adversarial, independent, argumentative, drama-driven, immodest, and immoral.”
1. I don’t understand what you mean by independent here…It’s certainly not a bad quality to have.
2. As for everything else, it is a given that neither men nor women look for this in a spouse, LTR, or even friend. People like this are horrible and sucky.
Good points tarn! By independant I meant in the “like fish need a bicycle” sense. Independence itself is not bad. Thanks for asking!
Hi tarn, this post got held up I. The filter bc it had links, sorry about that! And sorry for mixing up trans and gender dysmorphic, I dont know much about this so I will read your links. Thanks for sharing those!
Thanks for sharing that bv! I agree, sex should be a shared and mutually exciting experience!
It’s not a problem, Bloom. Figured that’s what did it, anyway. 🙂
Girls love assholes. The only time I had issues with women( a woman) and a relationship is when I listened to what the experts had to say about women and relationships.
wilson still waiting on an actual rebuttal… if you have the brass and brain power
ps independent as it is used is code for shit tests all day every day/ bossy etc it is not being capable of independent action etc and most men need their women to depend on him…. not sure why though
LOL I’m an asshole because she doesn’t like my world view. LOL
@scfton
No, it has nothing to do with your worldview, as I’m tolerant of many. I do select for different traits in a partner than the ones you have, but that alone certainly doesn’t make you an asshole.
You’ve continuously stated that the women around you mainly like assholes and are sexually attracted to them. You also say you are popular with these women and have a fairly easy time with sharing casual sex. Ergo, if the women like assholes, and they like you, then you are an asshole. Or at least act like one in those public settings.
Again, so long as neither you nor the other person gets hurt, it’s no skin off my nose if asshole-ish behavior gets you the results you’re looking for. The way I see it, you’d engage in gentlemanly or egalitarian or conservative behaviors too, if they worked. The fact that they don’t with the women you have around you isn’t your fault…it’s theirs, since they are the selectors.
Yeah cis tradcon FeB I have no idea what any of those mean. My problem with the smarmy little fuckstick is he equates being an alpha male with degrading and being disrespectful to women.
Sorry.
“Cis” is short for cisgender…someone who’s sex matches their gender. A male who is masculine and feels like a man, or a female who is feminine and feels like a woman. This is the vast majority of people, which is different than ones like myself who experience a constant dissonance between our bodies and brains (in my case, I’m female-bodied but masculine-minded). The link I posted explains it in more detail.
“FwB” is short for Friends with Benefits. Basically, a very good friend that you not only share numerous interests with and enjoy spending time with, but also have sex with. Typically happens between men and women, but I have met a few gay guys who had such an arrangement.
Tradcons are traditional conservatives.
I don’t think scfton is quite as you describe him. I seriously doubt he abuses the women he has sex or maintains relations with, and if both of them gain something then what’s the real harm? I’m confident that if any of the women he’s with tire of his personality, he’s not going to force them to stay…He may be (or at least act like) an asshole, but he’s not likely to be an abusive person.
Well I guess im a cis tradcon (pukes) but he’s not an alpha male, and I imagine most of his conquests are fantasy.
“Pukes”? Um…okay?
It’s entirely possible that he’s spinning tales about the number of women he’s been with (sex isn’t something I’d call a “conquest”…it makes it sound like a battle instead of sharing pleasure). We can’t know for sure, but even if he *is* lying, I’m not sure how it really affects you, me, or Bloom. In fact, if you’re concerned for the partners he’s had, and you think the number is smaller than he claims, then shouldn’t you be happy?
Or are you less concerned that he supposedly degrades women, and more that he claims he’s an “alpha”? I’m just trying to figure out what has you upset.
Well as a female who identifies as a male this has got to have you all fucked up.
What has me all fucked up?
How scfton is?
Not really…I’ve known quite a few guys who are how he professes to be. I just avoid them as much as possible.
Well yeah it pisses me off that he identifies as an alpha, he’s not he is a punk kid.
Is he? I thought he might be in his late 20’s – early 30’s. From the experiences he mentions, that sounded likely to me.
Ok im a tad drunk but why are you seemingly defending him?
Are you asking why I’m tolerant of him and his lifestyle?
If so, it’s because;
1. He has no power over me. I don’t care if he thinks I should be feminine or have babies. He is a random dude on the internet and has 0% chance of getting me to change just because he believes it would be better for society.
2. People on the internet will sometimes agree with you, and sometimes not. You have to be willing to walk away if someone’s opinion upsets you that much. You will probably never meet them in real life, nor do most people you speak with on blogs have any sort of ability to alter your life. Why get your blood pressure up?
3. I’m Wiccan, and part of our Rede is “An ye harm none, do as thou will”. Since I’m 99% sure that he doesn’t abuse the people he’s with, or allow himself to be abused, I am not going to pass any sort of judgement on him. I may not agree with most of what he says, but that doesn’t matter so long as he is a moral person.
Any man who preys on women with low self-esteem by acting like a prick is not a moral person.
@ tarnished and Wilson from past conversation long ago where he called me “old” it came out he’s a year older than me, so 43iah. Still cracks me up he called me old and then he was older! Lol.
Wilson I get what you are saying about scfton but I also think he’s not the all bad guy you may perceive. He’s who he is. It may not work for everyone but he seems to have found some girls who it does work for. As Tarn says, it all are informed and willing, who are we to question it?
He shoots bad guys in our country’s name in places I would never want to go for a living and so for that, he pretty much gets a pass on all else from me, as a 3rd generation army brat myself. Is he perfect? No. Is anyone? No. What’s the harm in hearing out his point of view? He actually reminds me a lot of my older brother.
@ Wilson as far as he describes it, scfton puts it out there who he is. I am not sure your assumption that only women with low self esteem would play, or that his gals are “prey” or “victims.” I would say they are making their own choices, so if its not what they want, that’s not scfton’s fault.
Something I give scfton props for is he’s honest. He is clear about who he is and what he offers. In my book that’s far better than pretending to be a monogamous family guy who cheats on the side. Scfton’s girls all know they aren’t the only one and if they are fine w it, again, what’s the harm? He himself has said he would rather have been married for life but when his ex cheated and took him to the cleaners, well he chose this path as the next best.
All stories are not as simple as they first seem.
Speaking of Wilson, what’s yours? How old are you? Married? Divorced? Single? What’s your story? What do you hope it will be? (There are no wrong answers, just real ones.)
LOL @ Wilson. Hanging out with the girls trying to be the big man on the interwebz
78 comments in, and I’m still watching a train wreck. To get this thread back on track.
Many qualities which could have been included on this list, and I’m sure would be actively lobbied for by men loving feminists, are notably absent. Things like ‘Show your strength’, ‘display your intelligence’, are ‘stand for what you believe in’, are certainly admirable traits. Men will look for those in their male friends, and you’ll men give women some points for these in sexual surveys. Especially in the case of intelligence, I’ve seen studies where women displaying higher intelligence increases their attractiveness up to a point, then much higher intelligence correlates with a drop in sexual interest. The perceived conclusion is it does not pay for the woman to be smarter (stronger, braver) than her love interest.
I don’t think the conclusion necessarily follows from the premise, and there have been tragic attempts by women to make themselves appear less of what they are in order to increase attractiveness. If men find these traits virtuous in other men, why not also in women? Actually they do in a way. Strength, intelligence, will, are traits that are desirable in human beings. If there is competition among men for dominance in these traits, there exists rituals to work out these differences. But men do not find competing with their partners attractive. The ten items on this list are complementary, not competitive.
When Tarnished shares that she is gender dysphoric, that explains a lot about her dynamic with sfcton. She identifies with the masculine, sfcton obviously is masculine, and so we see two masculine personalities competing with each other in this social circle. The analog in nature is two alpha rams butting heads. In the Pick Up community this display is called AMOG (Alpha Male Of Group).
Men do not want to AMOG with their partners. As two best friends, the masculine sides can spar with each other in the form of flirting. It can be great for building up sexual tension. But for someone with whom to release that tension, the man will be looking to that list.