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The following comment was posted in response to another blog post but I felt it worthy of its own guest post.

This comes from “Ezzy” who is a happily married woman living in New Zealand, the secret advice her mother gave to her and hers before that and the advice “Ezzy” gives her own daughters on how to choose a man to marry. Enjoy!


“I followed the advices my mother had received from her mother, and so on, going back many generations. I have passed the same advices to my daughters. I was told these advices were too precious to be owned, that each woman was a caretaker of them until she passed them on to the next caretaker. On seeing her daughter heed them, the weight of responsibility becomes sunlight on a mother’s shoulders.

My ancestors knew all about female ‘group think’ (as it is now called) long ago, except they decided to apply it vertically (through the generations) rather than horizontally (across present generations). They saw the vertical approach as a strength and the horizontal as a fatal flaw. We draw our strength from all woman before us who have heeded the advices. All women have the capacity to carry them within.

Love a man for his character, that is the base, and all else is ‘learning steps’ about each other, some delightful, some painful. Feel it from the wisdom of women who committed to men of good character in the past. This was instilled in me so strongly, good character became the romance of my dreams at an early age. My imaginary Prince Charmings thrilled me with their integrity, empathy, steadfastness and power of good character. I married a man who could not have taken my heart had he not been first and foremost a good man.

Once committed, for as long as he stands to the contract and he shows his commitment by his words and actions, we will honor it. Whenever we start to feel critical or impatient, or (most fatally of all) start ‘comparing our lot’, we feel the support of the sisterhood who started failing in the past and yet stayed strong.”