Tags
abundance, being a wife, career woman, clutter, dating, feminism, housework, keeping house, marriage, modern woman, organizing, red pill, relationships
As I have mentioned before, I was raised to be a modern career woman, not a wife. And now that I am engaged to a man whose house is spotlessly clean while mine is barely controlled chaos, I realize I have some personal growth to do in the area of domestic skills.
I knew this day would come. Months before we met, I cringed when I first read this blog post telling girls if they want to attract a life partner, they should really clean up their house and car. I knew it was true.
Granted, as my fiance will so generously point out, he doesn’t have two young children living with him. That makes keeping house a lot easier. But even so, I have to admit I may be able to run a business but when it comes to running a home, I am “domestically challenged.”
When we started dating, I was afraid that he would run away screaming the first time he stepped into my place. It’s not dirty exactly, it’s just like the junk drawer exploded, then then multiplied. There’s simply too much “stuff.” My personal demons seem to be mail, laundry, and toys. They are everywhere.
I avoided it as long as I could. But eventually, the day came for the big reveal. Luckily he did not run. However he did say, very nicely, a few weeks later that he’d been thinking about it and decided if we were ever going to live together, we’d have to live, “more his way than mine.” And he made it clear that while he didn’t mind pitching in, he was happy to help, he wasn’t going to do it all.
And he’s right. I am 43 years old and I don’t know how to keep house. But it’s high time I learn.
Luckily with a few Google searches I was able to locate exactly what I needed, a day by day, week by week, month by month list of things to do. It seems so simple when it’s broken down this way. This I can do. Thank goodness for the Internet!
I am so glad that I have found a man who loves me and understands me and yet also challenges me to grow. (He just walked in as I am writing, I told him this, and he chuckled good-naturedly. He said I am challenging him to grow, too — in patience! Lol.)
One thing I love about this man is that he gets we all have weak spots and this one is mine. I am painfully self aware of it already. So I appreciate that he didn’t shame me, or bash me, or insult me. He just set the expectation and left it up to me to choose to rise to the occasion (or not).
Things are already starting to shape up and you know what? I love it! Being surrounded by clutter and “stuff” is draining and demoralizing. I have been going room my room and getting things in order and now when I walk into those rooms, it is like a sigh of relief. It makes me want to tackle the next room, and then the next. The kids love it too, and I plan to help them learn right along with me.
Together we are dreaming and clipping out images of interior designs we love, and he is busy planning the remodel. It will be a fresh start. My house will become “our” house. (Meanwhile he’s debating between selling his house or renting it. Either way all he would have to do is put up a sign, it’s already “show” ready. Cute as a button, it will be rented or sold in a flash.)
As we move toward that day, this year, I plan to go on a journey to rediscover the Goddess of the Hearth. In a post feminist world, she’s been lost in the shuffle. I realize I have missed her, I long for her, I need her, she’s my missing element. I want her to help me build a nest that is cozy and warm and a place of sanctuary for myself and my family.
How about you? If you are missing her too, join me! Court the Goddess of the Hearth in 2015. A beautiful, orderly, nurturing home awaits.
“Turn away from the world this year and begin to listen. Listen to the whispers of your heart. Look within. Your silent companion has lit lanterns of love to illuminate the path to Wholeness. At long last, the journey you were destined to take has begun.”
― Sarah Ban Breathnach, Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy
Let those who have ears hear.
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
Relying on this for an excuse would only work for a little while.
You’re all right. Kids go hand in hand with clutter.
Lol fuzzie, I bet that guy was wondering if it was the beers on the table making him imagine it or if there really was a bear breaking into his house! 🙂
Here’s one for you Fuzzie! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RI_f0buRi2c
Redpillgirlnotes,
You reciprocated! You found a bear video for me. One that I hadn’t seen.
Speaking of the godess of the hearth, isn’t that Vesta to the Romans?
Redpill you waaaay over read men, I guarantee he doesn’t give a shit about your housekeeping skills. Odds are he just likes being around you, quit stressin.
That may be Wilson. but just the same I am looking forward to more order in my world!
As a rule women have to much stuff to keep an organized house.
@ one point, outside of pots, pans, personal hygiene stuff etc, my house had
A bed
One night stand
One desk
3 lamps
A recliner
Guns and ammo
Right easy to keep up.
Ps I nexted every messy girl I dated. Your home cannot be a refuge, a place of peace if it’s a freaking train wreck. Oddly enough, this is a common trait with men of similar back ground. Confusion, chaos etc that’s all.part of the job, not home life
My place has nothing but what I need to get by. No paintings or photos, no ornaments, no flowers or vases, no bits and pieces, no mats or carpets on the heart Rimu floorboards. My books are on shelves behind glass cabinet doors. Nothing to gather dust. Dust is the enemy of my tech equipment. Clutter is the enemy of efficiency.
The only exception is toys. I made a big playhouse for my nephews and nieces when they visit.
Poor housekeeping makes my skin crawl. Inevitably, in the case of a woman, it signifies several personal qualities that will punish a man if he gets involved. A poorly maintained home often indicates:
a. a self-centered personality that is incapable of viewing the home from the perspective of another person;
b. an absence of an ability to focus and think — because dirt, clutter, and chaos are overwhelming distractions to a process of reflection or deep thought;
c. a trendy contempt for housework and cooking that is supposed to demonstrate post-feminist role-independence. Meaning, you’re going to have your nose rubbed in her dirt and visual nose, because Go Gurrrlz! only reactionaries expect a woman to pick up after herself.
d. you’re going to be going out for dinner too often, because women are throwing off patriarchal duties because Freedom!
e. a casual attitude toward simple hygiene. This is not good.
I was once introduced to a SIW novelist in NYC, who lived with a German Shepherd. She was above the dreary obligations of housework. So she just put newspapers down on the floor as it became dirtier, and more encrusted with feces and urine. Her dog slept in her bed, which was littered with dog hair. I’d never seen anything like it; 30 years ago some social services agency would have attempted to save herself from herself. This woman was making a lot of money with a bestseller at the time, but couldn’t be bothered to live better than barnyard animals. Her later books increasingly bemoan her perpetual single/old maid status. She’s pushing 50 now and still single; surprise!
Bloom, I keep a spreadsheet of all household tasks now, and find it an easy way to keep track of each task as well as its frequency. I recently trained a high school kid to clean, and pay him $12/hour, which is about half the effective rate I formerly paid a lady who cleans full-time. I just check the line items I want him to do, hand him the form, and go back to other activities. I have had great housekeepers in the past, but he approaches the tasks like an enlisted man, i.e., with strength and seriousness. I really don’t think he can be beat.
Other personal preferences I have are to keep some of my cleaning products distributed through the house, meaning I have duplicates in some locations. This means that if you want to quickly clean the bathroom mirror, you don’t have to go downstairs and haul out the windex and go back upstairs to work — such little diversion perhaps being just enough to cause one to say, “Oh, I’ll get it later.”
I buy cheapo washclothes in bundles from Walmart, and probably have about 50 in my cleaning basket. This is much cheaper than paper towels, obviously, because you can just bleach and launder them in bulk, then throw them in a basket that follows the cleaner around the house.
I use cheap electric brooms instead of manual brooms, and they are faster and easier and stir up less dust (I have hardwood floors, YMMV). I didn’t realize how effective they were; I have two $20 copies that I picked up at the big box, one up and one downstairs.
Oh, and I’m a big believer in household complexity reduction. So, for example, all of my bed and bath linens are white. Virtually all of my socks are black or navy, so can be washed together. I have just two stacks of t-shirts: one white, one black. My polos: (mostly) black or white.
Greatly simplifies laundry day. If you have a mix of colored sheets and towels, e.g., you’ll be doing two loads instead of one.
Here’s my summary take on men doing housework:
Cill, a clean, well-lighted place is certainly the soul of thought, isn’t it? I have a few thousand books, so I have had to deal with storage aggressively. I built my bookshelves out of wire racks (i.e., the kind that food service people use in commercial kitchens, mounted on casters), six feet high. The books can go back to back on the wire racks, and you just spin the shelving around on its wheels for access to one side or another.
When my little boy was spending time with me the house would explode in chaos in his first 15 minutes. So we purchased another two sets of wire shelving on wheels and some large plastic bins with lids. I let him tear the place apart, but we also just dumped everything back in the bins, ‘restocked’ our commercial shelving, and were cleaned up in 15 minutes.
I designed several of my major furniture pieces (beds, consoles, dressers, kitchen island, etc.) and I have the vendor put them all on casters. So they can be rolled this way or that, either to quickly reorient a room or just better clean a room.
I like that washrag idea, BV…I’m going to use that one.
I recommend dark socks, and dark socks for kids in particular…they can run around in them all day long and they will never look dirty. 🙂
I’m feeling the bug to clean up the house now. Good post Bloom, and good luck to you! Once your home is clean, you’ll find you want to keep it that way. It’s only when things get out of hand that it continues to get worse and worse. Kind of like being in shape versus being out of shape. Good luck and go Bloom, go! 🙂
That cat ranching (well, I guess dog-ranching, in this case) author sounds a lot like my sister-in-law back in college. She had a black lab, but in her case she didnt’ even bother with the paper. She just let the thing crap and piss everywhere and then shut doors. The first time I saw her townhouse, there were piles of crap on the carpet in various stages of decomposition. She claimed, the dog had “just done that”. Right. I think this is where my very visceral revulsion to skanks comes from (she was a skank, and I reflexively group the two together…low standards for hygiene and loud and proud extremes of sexual profligacy).
I laughed when I read BV’s comment at 3:28 pm because I think it’s bloody well true.
Also, I’m the same as you BV. All my sox are black. Everything that comes in pairs e.g. gloves are black and the same size so I never have to search for a match.
Another thing:
All my stuff is stored so I can locate it by logic, not memory. Even my mum, who is tidy and well organised, finds her stuff by memory. I have enough important things to remember without having to wonder e.g. “where did I leave the scissors”?
I get frustrated when people don’t put my things back where they got them from. People listen up! Remember where it was at when you picked it up, okay? Then after you’ve used it, put it back in the same place! It’s not hard to do is it? A split second of thought is all it takes, for f*cksake.
Another thing I do is use aftermarket spray bottles. I get mine from a ag supply store for $3.50. They work better and hold more than the versions that come with the cleaning liquids. You just write on them in magic market, and fill them up from the bulk -size cleaning liquid containers.
AND I never iron my clothes. Whichever idle Victorian troublemaker invented ironing should be posthumously hung drawn and quartered. Ironing shortens the “lifespan” of clothes and takes up valuable time. How much productive time does it remove from the economy? And for What? the satisfying of a ridiculously unnecessary convention is what. Natural-looking vs flat-looking clothes, like the big-end vs small-end of the eggs of Lilliput.
“Anti-ironing” is my only ideology. I’m as dogmatically anti-ironing as a feminist is anti-straight-white-male.
It’s synthetic fibers (thankyou space program) that have made ironing largely obsolete.
@ Ton
What? No painting of dogs playing poker?
Thanks to all. I’m gonna start working on simplifying.
I second many of the earlier comments.
1. Cleaning is a waste of time for me so I have a housekeeper. I’m generally a clean person, and not usually home, but I hate clutter and dirt, so it works well for me. She comes every other week or so, and does everything, esp things like windows which I appreciate. I highly recommend getting a housekeeper if it makes sense.
BV – I like the spreadsheet, and will adopt that idea. Sometimes there’re one or two small things that get missed.
2. General clutter. I also highly highly recommend those space saver vacuum shrink bags. You’d be amazed what fits in to those. I use them for bedding, heavy winter coats, non-seasonal clothes, and ball gowns. They free up a lot of space in my closet. I also recommend getting some sort of shoe organizer system of shelves or something similar. There’s also nothing I like more than walking into my closet and seeing clothes organized; tops, bottoms, dresses separately. I guess what I’m really advocating is storage, and keeping things out of sight that aren’t needed.
Desk clutter/mail. I recommend scanning needed mail, and backing files up. If it’s a matter of sorting mail, get some sort of mailbox maybe that can separate things in to to-do and not-so-important. Papers/books on a desk is probably a sign of productivity, but I tend to work better when things are organized. That’s just me.
Clothes. If closet space is an issue and shrink isn’t practical, I also recommend going through closets every 6 months and maybe tossing/donating clothes you don’t wear often. I also recommend not buying trendy clothes bc trends will come and go, then you’re left with a pile of outdated crap you can’t wear. Men definitely have it better in that department!
All that said, I don’t have two children, so my operation is different, but I swear by those shrink bags and the housekeeping 🙂
One more thing: the bathroom. The worst possible thing is a dirty bathroom. I tend to be nonchalant about a lot of things, but a dirty bathroom is nonnegotiable.
…from the previous post: I’ve also noticed, almost with unanimity, that friends with pets aren’t the cleanest people. A fair number of single women I know have dogs. One of my neighbors, an elderly male has two cats. Other neighbors (married couple) have two giant dogs. Their homes are pet-smelly and I avoid going over there as much as possible. One of my gfs has a dog and it’s quite peculiar how the two of them behave much like each other.
***
When I was maybe 5 yrs old, I was obsessed with getting my parrot, Polly, to say my name. After all, parrots are supposed to speak, right? I devoted months to Polly, but eventually gave up on the name and spent another few months working on “hello”…to no avail. All of my devotion including cleaning a messy birdcage was a waste of time. I eventually gave up on Polly. One Sunday after the family went out for dinner, we came home to find Polly dead in the cage. Apparently Trixy (the dog) scared the crap out of Polly and Polly might have died from a heart attack; cause of death unknown. Trixy died in a hit-and-run a few months later. Pets = bad investment of emotional energy and time. I “admire” people who have pets.
Birds are really filthy, but I don’t think pets are a bad investment of emotional energy and time. Dogs, especially, are pretty awesome. Yeah, it’s a lot more work keeping the place clean with them, though.
@ Emily, all good suggestions. Yes I used to have a every other week housekeeper and that really did help keep anything from getting too backed up, but I had to downsize that bc of the economy. My fiance has already suggested we go back to that, which will help (yay, love that guy!) A lot of the clothes are kids clothes, they outgrow stuff in a flash and so that’s one thing I really need to do is donate all the too small stuff and keep up with that so it doesn’t pile up. I have a dog and a cat (both 7 years old) but I agree that pets really add to the issue. If it weren’t for the kiddos I wouldn’t have them and I don’t think I will get more. My fiance has a 4 year old German Shepherd so he’ll be moving in too. I agree also re clean bathroom, and I feel the same about the kitchen. My place isn’t “dirty” so much as it is cluttered. I need to downsize, especially considering we will be merging two households into one. Time to purge purge purge the “stuff.”
@ Cill, I would drive you around the bend, my tools are usually scattered to and fro, left wherever I used them last! I have been better about this lately, for my own sanity because you are right, hunting around for stuff you need is annoying and a waste of time. I have noticed it’s generally men (dads) who will do the “put your stuff away or I will throw it away” line, I wonder if my lackadaisical style is related to losing my dad’s influence at a young age, not having that male “put it back where you found it” discipline?
Emily, do you have a preferred brand for the vacuum shrink bags? Thanks.
Liz-oh, I know my view is unpopular, lol. My neighbors/friends love their pets, and I admire their commitment to their pets… Actually, I also recall reading articles about pet owners living longer and that being around pets may improve the prognosis of certain medical conditions etc. So I’ll correct myself and say that emotionally investing in pets is worth it for *some* people!
BV-I use the original Space Bag. They come in a variety of sizes and combinations of sizes. Ziploc also makes them. If you get them I hope they work well! Here’s what the box looks like: http://www.amazon.com/Space-Bag-BRS-5803-6-Dual-Use-Vacuum-Seal/dp/B000T4FVTW/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1419219106&sr=8-7&keywords=space+bag
Bloom-sounds like you’re in great hands w your fiancé and his suggestions! Chances are, you’ll have fun with the purge!
Emily: “So I’ll correct myself and say that emotionally investing in pets is worth it for *some* people!”
🙂
I do admit it would be nice to have a shed-free variety of dog, though. Ugh.
Pets no pets seems to break down to…
Rural vs urban. And as a man I have more faith in the Hell Hounds then humanity at large.
Thanks, Emily. I recently consolidated a couple of houses, and I have more stuff than closet space. This sounds like a good strategy.
“Cill, a clean, well-lighted place is certainly the soul of thought, isn’t it?” You took the words right out of my mouth there, BV. I like the idea of book racks on wheels. I keep my books behind glass doors so they don’t gather dust.
I clean my kitchen and bathrooms and laundries and utility rooms in about 3 minutes each. I built drain holes in the floors. All corners are rounded. There are no projecting cupboards. The ovens and laundry machines are sealed and custom designed for a big boat. I stow everything away, flip seals over the electric sockets, stand back with a steam cleaner and blast. Gleaming fibreglass ceilings and walls and floors and benches, baths, ceramic showers, sinks, tubs, chromium fittings, all sparkling clean. No chemicals. Job done.
Now, if you keep everything stowed and in its place you can steam clean whenever you like, sometimes just for fun! Here’s a thought… I haven’t tried steam cleaning myself yet…
That is probably the most “guy” way to clean house I have ever heard of! Lol. Logical, rational, efficient, done. All your furnishings and such must be water proof/resistant?
Actually, Bloom, he’s really advocating for a life of utilitarian simplicity. Thoreau’s 10×15 cabin, slightly enlarged, with electricity. Most men I know yearn for that simplicity. I suggest that the real antipathy men have for shopping is that they know that it just means bringing more shit into the house.
I renovate old houses for fun. (I’m on my fourth in 12 years.) My last one I named “Mixed Metaphor”. That’s because it was built in 1788, and I retained everything I could, such as the 12″ plank chestnut flooring, the leaky single sash windows with no storms, doors that were made with hand implements and finished with crude iron fixtures, a stairway that would kill you if you were drunk. (I just split my elbow open, but had to meet my dad in Iowa, so flew myself out before going to the emergency room.) But the interior was filled with mid-century modern iconic pieces from Saarinen, Eames, Nelson, Noguchi, etc. All the while I actually heated it one winter with wood alone, as there were four fireplaces and that’s how they did it in 1788, and it’s not cold if you wear a long dressing gown.
So simple is modern, modern is simple, and that’s a Mixed Metaphor. People liked the house, because, as in a good Hemingway short story, absolutely everything that could be removed, was removed. They just walked inside and exhaled. They couldn’t put their finger on it. They couldn’t say they wanted to live there. But even my ex-wife said, “This is a work of art.” She said that in front of her BB husband #2, who had installed her in a $2mm townhouse in McLean. Try removing 75% of the visual clutter from your home and post a picture of your fiancé; he’ll be smiling, I bet. In Iowa my old house cost me less than one of my transportation vehicles. But it’s going to be simple, and it’s going to be furnished with modern, and I hope people walk in and exhale.
The less stuff to manage, the more life to be lived.
I don’t know about the round corners, though. That starts to sound like an Airstream trailer, and I like hand-cut nails, post-and-beam frames, doors with true rails and stiles, true light wavy glass windows, etc. I would like to have an Airstream, but mostly to pull to Colorado for fishing and skiing.
Cill, just curious, you say you have a lot of fiberglas in your home; did you fabricate it or can one just buy pre-formed pieces and attach them to a traditional, framed dwelling there?
Good advice BV, I agree — 75% could go and the place would be better off for it. I have an adorable turn of the century Victorian farmhouse, not fussy Victorian, more transitioning to Craftsman. It’s beautiful. I love this place. The old gal (the house I mean) deserves more than to be packed to the gills, she deserves to shine! Plus, I want to do a lot more entertaining and such. I will work on it…
All the foregoing rooms, and the toilets as well, are lined with continuous fiberglass throughout ceilings, walls and floors. All things in them are waterproof.
The rest of the rooms have fiberglass ceilings and walls and heart Rimu waterproof floors.
In the living room all the furniture and fittings are wood and cane made by me. The books are behind glass. The recessed TV and stereo are sealed off by a powered sliding glass sheet. I can blast every item, and inch of every surface with steam in about 5 minutes.
All doors are sliding and wide enough for me to drive a vehicle through the rooms. If I want to remove things (e.g. the beds in the bedrooms) I roll them up a ramp onto a trailer and drive it out. Then I close the closet doors and let rip with the steam.
BV your query re fiberglass: I approached it the same way as building a boat. You could go all-out laminate but I did it the old way, fiberglass over marine ply. The result is a continuous single surface with no joins.
Yeah, I worked at sea once long ago, it sounds like a boat. No frills, no fluff. Thx.
“I suggest that the real antipathy men have for shopping is that they know that it just means bringing more shit into the house.”
True. In my place the shit doesn’t get to stick. For Xmas and birthday in my first year here, my female rellies and friends gave me ornaments for the house. I told them I don’t want any more stuff for the house. No sense in letting them go on wasting their money. I’m lucky, they put up with my bad manners. They give me clothes now, instead of ornaments and paintings.
Brrrr, sounds cold! Or do you have pillows and cushions and such?
Bloom, my comment to people who flirt with old houses:
I say, Great! but remember an old house is put together like a wooden boat. So it requires the same attention and management and maintenance and patience. If we accept that, then our old houses are more fun, and an interesting challenge.
My dream home would be an earth sheltered home with concrete walls and floors for the interior and grass growing on the exterior walls.
It can get too hot here, but never too cold. The temp seldom goes below 10 degrees Celcius (50 degrees Farenheit)
60% of the exterior wall is glass. People look out at water and sea life out front and the forest and bird and forest life out back. The interior doesn’t get noticed. It’s like a year-round holiday home.
I have cushions but I spend most of my reclining time with friends on deckchairs outside. I open the entire front wall of the house and we sit in the cool air under the veranda, out of the hot sun.
“it requires the same attention and management and maintenance and patience”
Right again BV. I’m a boatbuilder, so house maintenance is pretty straightforward for me.
Ton has just given me an idea for my next project here. A partially exposed bunker with grass growing out of it. The interior would maintain a constant comfortable coolness all year. I could set up a pool table and dart board in there. Maybe an effigy of Admiral Togo to throw knives at (as my WW2 great granddad used to do)
Liz-I’ve been contemplating being clearer and all-encompassing in my thoughts/communication for my “new year’s resolution,” but I’m not much of a new year’s resolution maker. It’s an evolving thought; tbd. I think my recognition on the dogs/pets is a good step, lol.
I saw an “interesting” article about this topic (clutter) today. Seems like a bit of a psychological guilt trip (for some, lol), and based on the article I’d consider purchasing the hard copy of this book as a contribution to clutter (for some, lol). http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_eye/2014/12/19/the_life_changing_magic_of_tidying_up_by_marie_kondo_is_a_best_selling_guide.html
Rural vs urban. My ways & means have a lot to do w. being a life-long east coast urban city dweller. Reading everyone’s comments about farms, boats, and rural dwelling is quite fascinating.
I can also see how dogs make better company that people–some people!
Since no one has brought up Vesta, here’s a video
Cill, in theory an earth sheltered home in NC indoor temp will fluctuate by like 5 degrees staying .mostly around 70 degrees F.
Also with no straight lines, they weather bad weather much more effectively then above ground construction and then comes the added advantage of the home.blending in with the scenery. That’s in addition to a major decrease in utility bills and much lower levels of home maintenance, improves home security
The downs sides are moisture control and additional expense of construction. And if you’re the moving around type hard to resell them
Emily L., I lived for a couple of decades in NYC and WashDC. My interest in a clean, well-lighted place was emphasized when I was first married and living in the east village in NYC. Our apartment was two rooms, about 200 s.f. total, with the bathtub in the kitchen in true tenement style. Our bed was a futon. We had one dresser, no closet, two chairs, one folding table. (So I’m resisting your urban/rural division.)
Truly, we were never happier. It was a glorious time. Sure the heat would go out for days in winter, and there were crazy people in the building and gunshots at night in the streets. But I tell any younger person who’s sweating out real estate or apartment rental costs, “If you can’t be happy in 200 s.f., you’ll never be happy.” Probably the single largest reason not to be happy, if one is otherwise sane, in a small space is there’s just too much crap piled up. My daughter now lives in Brooklyn and … too much stuff.
Anyway, after I made some money we bought our first apartment, also in the east village. I kept the original, two-room studio, because it only cost us $50/month, and I used it as my studio. I would work there all night, and my ritual before sitting down to write was to sweep and mop the floor, wipe everything down, etc. It was a form of procrastination, but it was at least productive.
Once I wrote a play in 10 days in that place, and Forest Whitaker was the lead in a workshop production out in L.A. That studio apartment, where I slept with my wife on the floor and wrote my best work, will always remain my clean, well-lighted place of my mind.
I can’t live underground. Just the short days and dim light of winter (thankfully, the days begin to lengthen today) bum me out. Need fenestration, happy to deal with the HVAC costs to have fenestration.
In the efforts to organize, and after this I’ll be quiet, my last house as I stated was a 1788 structure. In 1788, owning 50 books was considered such a luxury that only the wealthy might own that many. People simply didn’t have stuff.
In Virginia, where this house was, real estate taxes were calculated by the number of rooms in the home. Closets counted as ‘rooms’. There were no closets in this home as originally constructed. The basement, of course, wasn’t; it was a cellar. I had to make the house comfortable for me and my two children, who had rooms and visited every other weekend.
My solution to the storage issues was a climate controlled storage unit in town. Not a remarkable solution, but what I did do that was a little offbeat is I ran industrial pallet racks with 3/4-inch MDF panels for shelves — and I could no rotate clothing in and out of the house, rotate art, store children things– and do so in an organized fashion. I knew where everything was, it was not an unholy mess, and I think it cost me $135/month. I do the same thing for my current residence, though the pallet racks now run along the back wall of my hangar. Organization always provides peace of mind, in my case.
Ton, the normal temperature range here is the same as NC: 50 through 32 degrees Fahrenheit. An indoor temp around 70 would be ideal. There are a lot of underground bunkers around the coastline of NZ. They all have a comfortable temperature, irrespective of climate outside. I haven’t measured it yet, but it does feel like it would be around the 70 mark.
As a kid I built a replica of a real Pa which is a Maori fort. The Maori design was a military masterpiece. During the Maori wars, the British would smash a Pa with cannon fire. They couldn’t understand why their men dropped dead when marching up to occupy the Pa. The reason is, most of the Pa was underground and the Maori could fire at the Brits through cunningly hidden slots in the slope. The visible Pa was like a decoy to lure the enemy to their death. The warriors up top would defend the visible Pa to the death, to add to the subterfuge.
A Brit commander yelled to the Maori defenders he’d hold cannon fire to allow the Maori women to escape to safety. The Maori replied “the women fight with the men.” To them, a voluntary depletion of their fighting force was not a good idea.
Oops.
Edit “50 through 32 degrees Fahrenheit.”
should have been “50 through 90 degrees Fahrenheit.”
@ Bv True, my house is built from boards tongue and groove floor to ceiling. I think it’s even called shiplap, the technique. There’s not a knot in any of the wood, all clear fir. It’s a beautiful house. I have lived here for 12 years.
@ scfton a dugout! Warm in winter, cool in summer.
@ cill very interesting re the Maori forts! Smart!
Bloom, don’t you agree that your wood walls trumps dry wall?
My tree surgeon is a quiet, understated country fellow. For years he’s been pulling downed tree trunks to a five acre lot, where he has stored and dried them. Then he built a new steel building for his office and trucks, and half of it is dedicated to a new saw mill. So now he’s sitting on thousands of tons of cured hardwood, of virtually every stripe one can find in the upper midwest.
I want to rebuild my kitchen and I will have him mill the wood, and walls and ceiling will be custom-milled local wood.
Indeed bv, my house is solid as a rock thanks to the wood walls and despite the fact that is had been neglected for years before I bought it, the house had very little rot or other issues. It’s in original condition minus being rewired and plumbed, which I was happy about after having to undo and redo bad remodels at my last house. Yep, they don’t build them like they used to!
I have been in two earth sheltered homes, dirt on three sides, an…. odd thing on top to let in light and there was natural light in every room of the house. The one underground home I checked out was a bad design so I have no idea how I feel about them in general.
The oldest home I lived in was built in 1903. It was a maintenance night mare. Then I lived in a home built in 1946, same thing. Never again. My current house was built in 1980, a simple rectangle floor plan. Much easier to maintain and I was able to do 60-70% of the small addition I put on it. Much more my speed. A house is where I store my guns and sleep. Being able to maintain it myself is important, saves me a a lot of money etc. Other wise they are emotional driven money pits.
That’s true scfton, I love my house but there is something to be said for modern insulation and double pane windows!
Luckily my place was built very well and maintained too up until the last 15 or so years before I bought it. So I have not had too many issues. It was a grand house in its day so larger, good floor plan, tall ceilings, and built better than most of that era. I got lucky, could have been a real money put!
Merry Christmas, Redpillgirlnotes! Here’s something to share. I can’t remember if I have linked it to you or not. If I have, it’s worth a second view.
A beary Merry Christmas to you too, Fuzzie! 🙂
Redpillgirlnotes,
Thanks for the acknowledgement. It matters. By the time that you read this, I hope that you and yours had a Happy Chritmas.
@ fuzzie yes, the packages are opened and there are smiles all around! Fun to watch kids enjoy it!
Farm Boy found this for me and I thought to share. Good bear news!
http://consumerist.com/2014/07/02/dumpster-diving-bear-cub-rescued-after-getting-cookie-jar-stuck-on-its-head/
Poor thing! But I guess all’s well that ends well… Luckily someone spotted him, I wonder where his momma bear was? Looks kinda tiny to be on its own. Hopefully they released him close to where he was found, I bet she was nearby.
Redpillgirlnotes,
Your comment, dated 22 Dec, over at Spawny’s got put into spam. The source for advice for your friend that you are seeking is Tara Palmatier at shrink4men.com
That bear reminds me of my dog getting his big head stuck in a bag of cheezels (horrible orange fluff – I don’t know how people can eat it). When I pulled the bag off him his head was completely orange, with a couple of guilty eyes looking out. 😀 My Dog must have a bad sense of taste, to like that fluff.
BV – words, mere words can’t describe the experience that is living in NYC. Everyone would do well (and be lucky) to have that kind of experience as your’s in the village. Did you write many plays? Is there a particular genre you focused on? Do you still write? Do you still own the place in the village? I hope your daughter loves living in NYC.
+1,000,000 to being happy in 200 sq ft.
Some of my orderliness definitely comes from living there (Tribeca, Gramercy (no key!)). At one point I shared a 2 bedroom that couldn’t have been more than 350 sq ft with 3 girlfriends. Just imagine everything that could go right and wrong with 4 early-20s single girls, and it did. Eventually we got jobs. One sold antiques, another was a model, I possibly might have worked for the son of a mobster (we decided it was best not to find out), and the other was some sort of athlete/runner/US olympic hopeful. …and the men, oh boy!
What fascinates me about rural life is probably the challenge of learning how to manage with things like a yard, neighbors far away, no public transportation, etc. I requested a toolkit for a christmas present that no one bought bc no one thought I was serious about it, so maybe my “fascination” belongs in the improbable/half-baked column, lol. One of my ultimate fantasy/ projects is to make my own wine, get my own vineyard etc, on the east coast. It’d have to be one of those scenarios where I live there part-time, otherwise I’d probably go bored out of my mind.
…the happiness from living in urban spaces, has a lot to do with the lifestyle, work, and everything being accessible.
But even within the urban category, I consider NYC an exceptional exception. Miami, Boston, meh. For a few years I worked between DC and NYC. It was an exciting trip up and a somber flight back to reminisce and recall so many memories of adventures in the village, the food, the theaters, FRIENDS. But DC provides small comforts: the soup selection at dean & deluca is nonexistent compared w. that in soho, but at least it’s there for late Saturday lunches.
Anyway, I might have contradicted myself once or twice above, but even with the imperfections of my life, on the 1-10 happiness scale, I’d say I’m at a 9.5 w urban life.
…Happy holidays, all!
Happy New Year, Emily. As someone who goes guardrail to guardrail with the urban – rural contrast, I’d say one of the notable qualities of rural living is that of outlook. A few modifications of outlook are required once you are off into the blue highways.
One should be both desirous of a quieter life, at peace with solitude and a reduced social mix (especially after the 24×7 stimulations we get in the big city), and have a parallel desire to learn how things work.
In the city things are typically done for us by pros — everything from plumbing to clearing snow are delegated, if not performed invisibly by someone we never even meet. In the country we need to keep the manuals for everything we depend upon — the furnace, the appliances, the furnace, the snowblower, perhaps even the bicycles.
In the country evenings are still, there are few ambient sounds to track the passing of time into the early morning, a solitary walk around the village or down the gravel road may well occur without encountering a single human.
The contrast can be striking. I was working late on my thank you notes, at my dining room table last night, and at midnight a friend of mine facetimed me with two of her girlfriends, riotously enjoying a riotous party in Adams Morgan (DC for those unfamiliar). We exchanged new year’s greetings and a couple of endearments — and as quickly the interplay ended and I was alone again with my notes. If that’s not both winsome and appealing, the rural life is not for you.
This is the first year I’ve spent with no urban foothold (until September I had homes in DC and outside NYC), but if some things line up for our business I’ll be reacquiring one. What’s interesting, to me, is that I no longer assume that it will be in NYC, and it may be something entirely new, a place I can reach in four wheels in a few hours (Minneapolis or Chicago), rather than with Jet A or avgas. Perhaps this is a function of age, or perhaps it is the hangover from living on airplanes for a couple of decades.
One of my close friends is also a software CEO, but he quit in October and is focusing entirely now on his vineyard in the Finger Lakes. I didn’t realize the depth of the high-end wines being produced there (rieslings can be extraordinary, his are), and that might be a fun area for you to explore if you haven’t already. The downside is the social sphere for the single person; the odds are probably pretty good, but as in most rural areas, the goods can trend very odd.
It’s a cliche but the internet changes everything, if one lives in a rural spot. An internet radio, overnight courier services, access to any consumer item for personal or gift giving needs, even access to artisanal food and drink — all are available frictionlessly. At the moment I’m listening to WBJC, a classical station out of Baltimore.
One virtue of the rural is that families and family law trail the urban by maybe 20 years. So for a man there are fewer of the depredations, so far, that control our discussions in the manosphere.
***
To your other questions, I work in a literary (highly obscure!) vein, but again, if anything, the internet makes everything but cafe society perhaps too accessible. (I’ve largely stopped emailing, as I’ve learned that if I don’t email, I don’t get 200 emails back each day.) I’m far more selective these days in my external communications.
***
Best wishes to all in this New Year.
BV – Happy new year. The contrast can be striking. Indeed. Sounds like you’ve experienced the best of both worlds. Sounds like your new year’s was well-spent too.
Rural life is something I enjoy in moderation. That rural life predominantly includes travel to countries where I find my version of solitude among non-english speaking cultures. I’ve contemplated the difference; hangover from travel versus access to city centers, and I think it’s both. Both can influence one’s perspective, and they also depend on too many variables (social/work life, family etc.) to make a strong case for either other than saying “it depends.” As for the social scene in ruralville, from what I’ve seen show up in urbanville, I’d have to agree with you on those odd goods. But then again, urbanville has its own spoils.
I just looked at Finger Lakes–thanks! I’ll see if I can get a bottle of their rieslings this weekend. People might cringe from the thought of “New York wine country” or “Virginia wine country” but even among the expected “odd goods” I’ve heard good things. With my minimal research so far, I’d want to do something similar to what they have with some possible reengineering of the soil and/or possibly genetically modified seeds to replicate conditions/ from my favorite wine regions (Chile, Argentina). Hopefully someone has done most of that that can be piggybacked off of easily. All I see are increasing dollar signs from my ideas, but it’s all good for preliminary research and gives me a realistic picture of the options. I’d be a one-wine producing operation, so just need to figure out the scope, tbd. If you enjoy reds and haven’t tried anything Almaviva makes, it’s worth a try.
Highly obscure? Well, if it’s tied to the East Village then that’s a +1 for urban life!
If Al Gore didn’t invent the internet I don’t know where we’d all be. Email can get out of control, so you’re lucky to be able to manage it that way. Not everyone has that perk!
I guess if there’s an urban/rural/manosphere tieback, this might be a stretch: Someone I know swore on queen and country that he’d never marry again. He did. Things quickly went south after he realized that she was indeed the diabolic psycho gold-digger his friends (even her ex husbands) warned him of. They lived in the city, but as things got rocky he eventually bought homes in rural Georgia and then Kansas. Just think of the least accessible parts of GA and KS, and there she was. It prevented the staff from resigning in droves just to avoid her presence whenever she visited the office. Her almost daily presence dwindled to a monthly shitstorm. Somehow he convinced her to run for office out west, pledging support (maybe love too) from Washington. Her all strategy, no common sense campaign was a disaster, but by some odd twist of fate she found husband #5 on her campaign trail. +1 for rural life.
Buy a Boundary Breaks riesling. Seneca Lake. It’s a $50 bottle of wine for $10. Bruce knows what he’s doing.
No comment on the serial divorcee.
Thanks for the recommendation, BV!
BV – Making a long story short, no one I checked w has Breaking Boundaries around here. A wine guy I spoke w is meeting w a Breaking Boundaries distributor on Monday, Whole Foods expects to shelve it by the end of the month, and the guy at Dean and Deluca had an odd look of disappointment when I mentioned finger lakes. I did find a dry Hermann Wiemer finger lakes seneca riesling, which is surprisingly good. I compare it w a Loosen German riesling Wash Post raves about, and although I’m not a fan of anything dry, it’s pretty good. I have to wait a few days for Breaking Boundaries, but so far Finger Lakes is pretty good. Thanks again.