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attraction, being single, blue pill, break ups, dating, game, marriage, pick up, pick up artists, red pill, relationships, the art of the pick up, what men want, what women want
Have you ever heard of the concept called, “game?” It’s loosely a collection of tips and techniques men who advocate for this approach say flip a gal’s attraction triggers and increase his chances of success in getting her number, getting a date, or getting into her bed.
Most women are horrified at the idea of “game” as if it is somehow a dishonest way of tricking a gal into thinking a guy is on the up and up.
But I am not so sure, especially when so many game techniques seem to encourage men to act more like bad boy cads who could care less than to act like a gentleman. So if it works, it’s not because women think they are falling for a gentleman.
Of course not all versions of game rely on bad boy moves. And there are many, many versions of game. What works for one guy every time may not work at all for another, what works like magic on one girl may drive another one away.
And sure, the way a lot of these guys put is, is pretty direct, but think of it as locker room talk between guys or your big brother and his friends, they are often talking smack. Women could learn a lot about how men think by reading about game, if she can have thick skin while she does it.
In short, rather than think of game as some sort of trick, think of it as ways a man tries to get a woman’s attention and time in competition with all of the other men trying to get her time and attention.
On the nature channel I was watching a documentary that showed the “game” of a male pheasant living in the mountains of China. He had bright blue and red plumes on his head, which he poked up in a peek-a-boo fashion to catch the female’s attention. Then, once he had her eye, he turned it way up, filling a big bright blue waddle with air and strutting about his puffed up self. I thought he looked pretty darn impressive, but the female pheasant apparently didn’t. He let the air out of his waddle and moved on.
Who knows what rules of pheasant game this male pheasant missed, but in a similar way, humans also have a dating and mating dance and game is an attempt to explain what works and what doesn’t to other men. In the past this information likely would have been passed along by a grandfather, father, uncle or older brother. Today many men either fumble around on their own trying to “figure it out” or they seek the information online.
And let’s face it, girls have “game” too. There are all sorts of books, websites, and magazine articles devoted to teaching a woman how to “get her man.”
The trouble, some would say, is that today men and women are being given the wrong advice on game. Men are told to, “just be nice” which often gets them into the “he’s nice but she isn’t into him although she can’t put her finger on it” category. Women are told to be confident, sassy, and aggressive, which often gets them put into the “fun but I wouldn’t take her home to momma” category.
It seems, according to the “game” experts, the problem is that men and women have it backwards. Men are acting more like women should (be nice), and women are acting more like men should (be confident and aggressive).
Try doing the reverse. You might be pleasantly surprised how well playing the “lady” card puts you ahead of the crowd.
Let those who have ears hear.
thanks for the pingback
Hey Ms Bloom !! So, I ran across a link that led to a link that led to a link that led to here. And boy this place looked familiar cause I was here months ago … So long story short … I just found out ur engaged and I must say CONGRATS !!! Wow, a shocker there.
Don’t know if recognize the handle but I hung around JFGs before being run off by Obsidian. Left and never went back. And wouldn’t have except BV and I met up in real life and he told me that there had been a major shake up and Mr O had moved on. So I returned … but its not the same at all. Very sad. But I do hangout at Dalrock and RM so if you ever swing by … say Hi !!!
And again congrats and best wishes. Hope it works out for you … staying together these days is a very difficult thing. Wish you the best !
The Rocket
http://therationalmale.com/2013/04/19/the-evolution-of-game/
Does that translate into a little bit of “Nice guys finish last” 🙂 I can sort of get that. I gave up though, the only game I play now is called the Waiting Game lol.
Game recognizes game.
Bloom it’s that damn Briffault:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Briffault
“The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place.” — Robert Briffault, The Mothers, Vol. I, p. 191
In the age of the information revolution, some think the male needs to cotton onto them thar “conditions” if he’s to have any chance with sine qua non women. Some males wonder if the shift of the goal posts puts the SMP beyond worthwhile distance.
And to add insult to injury, that damned Briffault spent his formative years you-know-where… listening to Tui… and Morepork…
Nice post w. informative links! I can see how it’s difficult to operate with effective “game” and simultaneously embrace ideas such as vulnerability, which in itself requires a fair amount of trust. Aside from close family and a very small number of friends, my general rule is to trust no one; trust but verify. It’s a terrible rule to have, but it’s never failed me, and is guaranteed to separate the dirtbags from those with integrity who are worthy of respect. Even with that rule, it’s possible to be nice and decent and warm w/o being naive. Self-respect, self-improvement and confidence are three more valuable elements that game encompasses which I think some of the critics of game foolishly overlook. But anyway, historically, there are almost always good and bad interpretations of theories, and only education to combat the bad.
I enjoy dating and relationships, and don’t remember having a one-night stand, which seems to be the measure that PUAs apply to their practice of Game. My relationships are highly sexualized, and very quickly, but I consider that a feature of Game, not a bug.
My view of Game is that it’s simply a superior, and more accurate, form of behavioral masculinity. In my view Game facilitates more relationships, and more robust relationships at that; it also (in its red pill realism about how men and women relate; its realism about what motivates women; its realism about sexual matters) removes much of the confusion and unnecessary pressure that blue pill perspectives impose.
I say pressure because a conventional blue pill dude is going to be frequently confused when his actual relationships do not track post-feminist rhetoric. So he’ll be wracked with confusion, fear of failure; he’ll make things worse by ‘trying harder’; he’ll be distraught when his love interest proves not to be a soul mate. Divorce will take him apart; it will draw and quarter him emotionally and financially. Life never turns out for a man the way it does for a male protagonist in Notting Hill or Love, Actually.
Hence the blue pill, female-centric rhetoric is a true false flag op. The only guys who survive it are those who simply submit to their wives’ dominion, and then only if the wife lacks sufficient SMP options such that she can kick him to the curb, collect her money, and move on.
So Game teaches a man behaviors that have more value to a woman than a woman will admit; Game reveals female motivations and desires that govern female aspirations, but again she will not admit; Game provides some necessary realism (such as the dismissal of soulmate/true love claptrap that infests our Disney-fied culture) about the finite nature of affection and desire.
I’m sure I will never outgrow my desire for an intimate relationship of equals, in which my truest thoughts and dreams, and vulnerabilities, are welcomed by a spouse, who just wants me to be myself. (I cringe at this recitation of prior delusions.) The question on my mind the past couple of months, given some recent experiences, is do I wish to practice Game (i.e., do I want to engage in reality-based relationships), and if so to what extent?
I let my guard down recently with a new girlfriend and I must say, it was shocking, and shockingly predictable, how her behavior was/is predicted by standard red pill precepts. And it was shocking to observe myself relapsing to behaviors I know are counterproductive.
One of the fundamentals of Game, in regard to being a man in an intimate relationship, is that the man remains fundamentally solitary. His feelings have little currency in a romantic relationship, and are best kept in the safe with the metals and handguns and stock certificates. To succeed over time with a woman a man must be vigilant — but vigilant in regard to himself, his emotional recidivism, and his capacity to lie to himself about what other people truly value in him.
Repillgirlnotes,
I would urge your female readers not to be worried about Game. What they will see, from their end, in practice, is a more confident guy.I think the greatest benefit to men from this is minimizing self-sabotaging behavior.
It’s likely you may have dug deeper into this than I have.
“I let my guard down recently with a new girlfriend and I must say, it was shocking, and shockingly predictable, how her behavior was/is predicted by standard red pill precepts.”
Yup. So much for the “Game only works on bar skanks and sluts” trope.
Let me guess. Being kind, being vulnerable, showing her your feelings. She responds by strangely lightening up her physical affection. for some reason she wants to sleep a little further away from you on the bed. She gets just a bit testier, a bit more curt, a little more on edge and uneasy. She’s just a mite crabby, and just can’t explain why.
“I’m sure I will never outgrow my desire for an intimate relationship of equals, in which my truest thoughts and dreams, and vulnerabilities, are welcomed by a spouse, who just wants me to be myself. (I cringe at this recitation of prior delusions.) The question on my mind the past couple of months, given some recent experiences, is do I wish to practice Game (i.e., do I want to engage in reality-based relationships), and if so to what extent?“
This seems relevant:
http://patriactionary.wordpress.com/2014/12/26/moving-beyond-the-horror/
OP author Electric Angel:
“Women have sided with the Alphas because that is what they do, and how they are, and that is dictated by the need to secure resources to grow their offspring. You will not change that about women, and it should no more make one angry (like the original commenter I was responding to in the post) than the fact that an abject dropped accelerates towards earth at 32f/s/s.”
I’m not suggesting BV is angry. He has (or at least I think he has) accepted that women are how they are, and act how they act, and do what they do. A woman who sleeps with a badboy does so not because she wants to save the world, or to fix or take care of him, or to serve the greater good. Women sleep with badboys because badboys are sexy, are arousing, are sexually attractive. This is just how they are, it’s what they do, and it’s how they act. They can’t help it.
Game, and red pill, simply says “This is how things are. This is how the world works. This is human nature. This is female nature. Women want sex with masculine men or reasonable facsimiles thereof. Women side with winners and jettison losers. If you want sex with one of these creatures, you need to understand what they are and how they act.”
@ loveworldproblems I am not sure it’s so much that “nice guys finish last” because guys who apply game aren’t bad guys necessarily (although some may be.) game is about understanding the masculine and feminine and what draws them together.
@ fuzzie I agree women shouldn’t fear game. At first I did but now I think if more guys (and gals) knew about game relationships would be happier and work better!
Girls shouldn’t fear Game
They should fear a series of events that turn men into rational SMP actors or drives them to MGTOW. Thats when chicks will be in trouble. All the guys I have helped up their Game find a girl and settle into some version of an LTR. Once more men figure thats not much of a return on investment for most of them, then women will be shit out of luck
There is, in my reckoning only two versions of Game, or anything else; effective Game or ineffective Game. You are an effective football coach or you are not. Etc etc
@Deti, 4:27 pm., 4:44 p.m.
Not exactly. She propositioned me, in writing, after years of circling and conversation, and outlined a rational basis for us to spend some time together. So we did. I was the bad boy (AF) at that point, so the relationship was, and remained, highly sexual.
Within a couple of months she had kicked her second husband out of the house (whom she had married for security, before realizing that she didn’t like to touch him), and she wanted to know my lifelong intentions. (Would I replace the husband and her father as her source of security?) (BB)
There are lots of details, but suffice to say it mapped so perfectly to the Feminine Imperative, and red pill observations about female behavior, that I have a hangover from the experience. I would prefer a little more mystery. I really wonder if there is anything left for me to learn, in this domain.
I did have some recidivist, blue pill moments, to be sure. She’s a very, very attractive and generous woman, and I reverted at times to my behavior when I thought vulnerability, openness, etc. were not just beneficial things, but in fact required qualities of a properly ‘evolved’ man. Whoops! What was amusing was how confused she and I both were when I did behave that way for 30 seconds.
You’re right, Deti, I’m not angry, though at times I’m jaundiced by what I’ve learned. The F.I. pattern recognition here was off the charts.
This is why my post-RP dating pattern is catch-and-release … and catch again. I’ve yet to meet anyone who doesn’t move to lock a man down, no matter their rhetoric about being SIWs. The lifecycle seems to be three months and then we need a time-out.
Thanks for the link and also I agree with FW’s advice to the women to not worry about male ‘Game’. Women seem to have pretty good radar for men who match their interests, and their preferred forms of masculinity, and certainly know how to communicate it. It’s the guys who probably have more at risk, because so few of us (as blue pillers) realize the risks of marrying somebody in this society, and further, the risks of marrying somebody who might be motivated more by a need for resources and status than true affection and sexual desire.
@ bv and Deti, all very good thoughts. I am pondering some of this for a new post on the dual nature of women. And bv what you long for in a relationship seems very wonderful, I am sad you have not found that.
Like you said in the article there are a LOT of different versions of game. Simplistically we can break it into two different categories. Inner game and outer game. I think every guy needs to learn inner game, Build your confidence, social skills understand human behavior it wont only translate to building attraction you’ll see results in how your friendships, career and how you handle daily activities.
However outer game is terrible it’s literally like throwing on a costume when you go to a bar pretending to be something you don’t even closely resemble. Once you leave the bar the girl will realize you’re not who you’re trying to be she’ll pick it up in a matter of days and you’ll be toast.
Yes, I would agree Ahmed. Inner game seems to have all sorts of benefits, increased life skills, awareness of social dynamics, investment in bettering one’s self, and striving to reach one’s own personal highest potential. That’s attractive. That’s value. Much better than a bag of tricks.
* It’s not so much “nice guys finish last” but “weak guys finish last”. What passes as nice is often overly polite, indecisive, noncommittal, equivocating, backing down betas. This behavior gives women that icky feeling. Learning (Outer) Game is learning how to overcome those tendencies and instead display confidence and decisiveness. It is perfectly congruous to have an assertive male also have a kind side.
* @BV – Listen carefully to what BuenaVista says about maintaining a mate with Game. This is where so many marriages fail and not just due to frivorce. A woman will fall OUT of love when the man slowly turns into a weak beta or worse. A high performing beta or an alpha comes along and she trades up (player or not player).
* Another way to look at the spectrum of Inner/Outer game is principles based (Inner) versus technique based (Outer). Many guys are so behind in Game they have to start with Outer just to get their confidence up. This is where the more exploitative of the PUA community sells technique based products which over promise and under deliver. In reality, an involuntary celibate probably needs to work on the bigger internal issues first if he does not want to put in a tremendous amount of work with terrible results to start. But you know, it’s the classic chicken/egg problem as to which to work on first.
* One PUA site put out a throwaway question of whether there is such a thing as “ethical Game”. I took the bait and answered in a comment. The gist of the answer was the requirements and skill necessary would be so high you would not likely see ethical game in the wild. A man who comes to Game naturally and uses the knowledge base of the Seduction Community to augment his skills could perform ethical game only if his inherent natural game was ethical to begin with. To expound on that requires its own blog post.