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Have you ever heard of the concept called, “game?” It’s loosely a collection of tips and techniques men who advocate for this approach say flip a gal’s attraction triggers and increase his chances of success in getting her number, getting a date, or getting into her bed.

Most women are horrified at the idea of “game” as if it is somehow a dishonest way of tricking a gal into thinking a guy is on the up and up.

But I am not so sure, especially when so many game techniques seem to encourage men to act more like bad boy cads who could care less than to act like a gentleman. So if it works, it’s not because women think they are falling for a gentleman.

Of course not all versions of game rely on bad boy moves. And there are many, many versions of game. What works for one guy every time may not work at all for another, what works like magic on one girl may drive another one away.

And sure, the way a lot of these guys put is, is pretty direct, but think of it as locker room talk between guys or your big brother and his friends, they are often talking smack. Women could learn a lot about how men think by reading about game, if she can have thick skin while she does it.

In short, rather than think of game as some sort of trick, think of it as ways a man tries to get a woman’s attention and time in competition with all of the other men trying to get her time and attention.

On the nature channel I was watching a documentary that showed the “game” of a male pheasant living in the mountains of China. He had bright blue and red plumes on his head, which he poked up in a peek-a-boo fashion to catch the female’s attention. Then, once he had her eye, he turned it way up, filling a big bright blue waddle with air and strutting about his puffed up self. I thought he looked pretty darn impressive, but the female pheasant apparently didn’t. He let the air out of his waddle and moved on.

Who knows what rules of pheasant game this male pheasant missed, but in a similar way, humans also have a dating and mating dance and game is an attempt to explain what works and what doesn’t to other men. In the past this information likely would have been passed along by a grandfather, father, uncle or older brother. Today many men either fumble around on their own trying to “figure it out” or they seek the information online.

And let’s face it, girls have “game” too. There are all sorts of books, websites, and magazine articles devoted to teaching a woman how to “get her man.”

The trouble, some would say, is that today men and women are being given the wrong advice on game. Men are told to, “just be nice” which often gets them into the “he’s nice but she isn’t into him although she can’t put her finger on it” category. Women are told to be confident, sassy, and aggressive, which often gets them put into the “fun but I wouldn’t take her home to momma” category.

It seems, according to the “game” experts, the problem is that men and women have it backwards. Men are acting more like women should (be nice), and women are acting more like men should (be confident and aggressive).

Try doing the reverse. You might be pleasantly surprised how well playing the “lady” card puts you ahead of the crowd.

Let those who have ears hear.