Monthly Archives: January 2015

Half Empty or Half Full?

29 Thursday Jan 2015

Posted by in Relationships

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I am starting to see a common thread in the stories of the women in my life – it’s far more common to hear a woman focusing on the glass being half empty than half full. And guess what? The ones who do, they are unhaaaaapy.

I challenge you ladies, start looking at the half full side of things. Start steering your thoughts and attitude toward happy and grateful for the good things in your life from the smallest to the biggest. Chances are you will find yourself a lot haaaaaapier if you do so.

Extreme example, but it’s a good one. A friend of mine who has been talking non-stop about divorcing her loyal, hardworking, steady Eddie husband of 10+ years and father of her four children (two hers he took on 100%, two theirs) for over a year now (and I have been trying to talk her out of it), her husband had a freak reaction to anesthesia during a minor surgical procedure a few months ago. He nearly died.

She freaked out. This man is the sole source of income and support for her family. She was in the hospital and on her knees praying for his life for two days straight. And, he lived and is doing well.

I am not kidding, less than a week later I call her up and right away she starts back into, “I am unhaaaaapy. It’s all his fault. I should just divorce him and get this over with. How long can I live like this?” And so on. LESS THAN ONE WEEK LATER.

Seriously, sister? And this poor guy, he actually gets up and goes to work and does all he can to make her happy anyway! Bless him. How many women would do the same?

There’s a saying that before you point out the speck in someone else’s eye, you should take the log out of your own. Because I would say in all of the cases of my friends who I see doing this, the unhappiness isn’t him, it’s within themselves. Leaving him won’t fix that.

If you have a good man who maybe isn’t perfect but he’s working hard and trying to please you, is a good dad, has a good heart — he is not abusive, not cheating, not an addict or alcoholic — be grateful for what you have, because I tell you, you will miss it dearly when it is gone. And you will regret not doing different.

So do different now. Be happy. Be happy with what you have. Look for the good in him. Be good to him. Build him up in your mind, and his. Love him, honor him, cherish and obey him. Like you promised you would, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live.

And if you do, you will be a happy woman. And you will have a happy man, who will work all the harder to make you happy, and he will honor you above all others, and your children will be happy, and that happy will make more happy. Unlimited happy. Happier than you ever dreamed. I have seen even marriages racked with infidelity and alcoholism turn around with this one simple choice — to focus on the good and not the bad. The choice is yours.

Let those who have ears hear.

Can Women Really Be Red Pill?

26 Monday Jan 2015

Posted by in Red Pill

≈ 140 Comments

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If you have done much reading on the manosphere about the red pill you surely have found, well, that seems to be a guy thing. It’s mostly guys talking to other guys about this red pill. Can a woman be red pill? Should she? What can a woman gain from red pill information?

As I have shared elsewhere on this site, I stumbled across the red pill after yet another relationship failure, desperate to figure out what I was getting wrong so I could start getting it right. I was doing all the things I had been told girls were supposed to do: I had a college degree, a career, had started my own business – I was living the dream! I was doing and being all that I could be. I am woman, her me roar.

Except, that all wasn’t working out so well on the home front. I was a single mom with two children and failed relationships with both of their fathers, one I was married to for 12 years, the other who I met a few years after after my divorce, we lived together and had a child (because this is the “modern age” right? Who needs marriage? It’s just a piece of paper, I thought. Marriage didn’t work for me, so why not skip the marriage part?) That time, it lasted 4 years. I was devastated. About 6 months after that, I met and dated someone for 6 months. It was going good at first, but then that too crashed and burned. WTF?

I knew there had to be another way.

Now that I am red pill aware, I can see the role I played in all those relationships not working out, and it wasn’t minor. Not that it was all my fault either, but I could have been and done better in all those relationships. I am ashamed to admit I rarely thought about what these men might need from me in these relationships, that maybe they weren’t just there to prop me up so I could live my dreams. My career and business came first, before them and before my kids. I was trying to become this island, the liberated modern female who didn’t need anyone but herself, could take care of herself, could provide for herself, and could thanks to all that be unoppressed and free.

Despite these repeated relationship failures, everyone around me was building me up for being this “strong independent woman,” or SIW who was a single mom, running a business, active in the community. I didn’t need a man, they said, I was living proof that feminism worked. Meanwhile, inside, I knew something was not working, not working at all. I didn’t want to be a SIW poster child. I wanted to be a part of something, not to be an island. I wanted a happy relationship and a happy family.

Confused, I was surfing the internet one night looking for information on successful relationships when I stumbled across a red pill blog, The Rules Revisited. It was a blog written by a man, to women, explaining a lot of things that women don’t seem to get about men. I could not stop reading. Suddenly a lot that didn’t make sense before, suddenly did. I read every single post over the next few days. I read all the comments. Somehow one of them led me to another red pill blog, Just Four Guys, where inner-gender relationships and dynamics of men and women and relationships were being discussed more openly and honestly than I had ever seen.

Over and over I heard the story of relationships failing, from a male point of view. Through their stories, I could see where I had gone wrong in my own. Friends who I tried to talk to about what I was reading flat out rejected it as misogynistic rantings of bitter, angry, men. How could I even read that stuff, they asked?

But somehow I knew these red pill men were on to something. I read the blogs every day. I read every comment. Over time I started to recognize the names of those who commented over and over, started to piece together their stories. Eventually I started commenting myself. Having grown up with only one older brother, their direct way of communication and their abrupt, sometimes offensive, language didn’t phase me.

These were men being men. I knew I needed to understand men. Here they were. And although I have heard many women say red pill men hate women, it is not true. Those guys were/are some of the smartest, kindest, bighearted men (and a handful of women also interested in these red pill ideas) I had ever met.  And even though I was only starting to grasp the red pill, they welcomed me and they encouraged me on my quest to try to understand how men think, what men needed, and what women just don’t get about men but men wished they did.

Day after day they accepted me and made me feel welcome although at times if I was getting off track they would make no bones about pointing it out. Several times when I would have a “red pill moment” and come face to face with a truth about myself or the world I didn’t want to see, they patiently supported me as I wailed and beat my chest and went off the rails emotionally in protest before making peace with whatever it was I didn’t want to see but needed to. They knew, because they had been there, too.

“If the red pill wants to make you vomit,” one said, “then you know you are starting to get it.” Because it’s true, the red pill often reveals to men and to women things about being who we are that we’d rather not see. Things we have built amazingly complex subterfuge, smoke and mirrors, and pretty little lies around, desperately trying to conceal and deny these truths about men and women and relationships and how it all really works.

I learned all sorts of thing. What men wanted in a woman. What was important to men in relationships. What was important to men in general. Where women often go wrong. Where I went wrong. Why men acted like they did. What women just didn’t get about men. What women just didn’t get about themselves. And more, much much more.

Sometimes a woman commenter would show up and start arguing with these guys, displaying her SIW flag loud and proud and insisting these red pill concepts were wrong. When this happened, these men made no bones about what the red pill had to say about all that. In many cases these women would double down, and yes it could get ugly. The men would call out the red pill ideas these women’s very own commentary proved true. Sometimes the gals would stay and try to fight, lobbing in low blows and insults, but the guys would not back down on what they believed. Sometimes the girls got it and settled in to be a constructive participant. If not, and usually after much drama, eventually they would go off in a huff, reject the red pill entirely.

As my own understanding grew, I  would try to act as a translator for these new gals, putting what these guys were saying into words I knew a woman could better understand. For me. For them. And even for my own girls. At that time, I felt even if I wasn’t in a relationship and didn’t know if I ever would be again, I could at least learn these things so I could help my two daughters and other women avoid my divorced single mom fate.

In fact, doing so inspired me to start this blog, I wanted to share with women these red pill ideas, both to better understand them myself by writing about them and in hopes this information could help them avoid some of the relationship pitfalls I had not. I felt if women could understand these red pill concepts, from the female point of view, it would improve their lives and relationships. I also do the same in real life, counseling friends about how to save their marriages and connect with their men rather than encouraging them “you go girl!” toward divorce and the SIW path I now know is not the way.

Am I red pill? Can a woman really be red pill? I am not sure. But I know I am at the least red pill aware, and that what I have learned from the red pill over the past year plus has set me up to succeed in my new relationship and understand how to have that happy marriage and family I have always wanted plus how to eliminate the thinking and behaviors I held that were preventing it before. It’s changed me, and for the better. I feel very good about the future. The time I have spent wrestling with these red pill concepts has paid off many fold in making me a better woman, a better partner, a better mother, and a better friend. It hasn’t always been easy, but I don’t regret it, not one bit.

What do you think? Can women be red pill?

Tapping the Feminine Wiles

21 Wednesday Jan 2015

Posted by in Relationships

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Something that has been brought to my attention about interacting with men lately has been the old saying, “You get a lot further with honey than vinegar.” It’s another way of saying, tap your feminine wiles when dealing with a man.

Now the concept of feminine wiles is often regarded with scorn, as if they are either a sign of weakness or some dishonest way to manipulate men. And when employed for the wrong reasons, they certainly can be. But feminine wiles can also be used in a positive way, to improve communication and understanding with your mate, and that’s the way I am discussing them here.

Modern women, myself included, tend to use a very direct communication style with men. They say (or worse demand) what they want. Thing is, it doesn’t work very well, and often shuts a man down even if the request itself is a good or constructive one — the tone and the manner presented can create a situation where he is more likely to resist —  no matter what is being said. You could be shouting at him that he needs to go and buy that new red Cobra Mustang RIGHT NOW OR ELSE and he’d likely say, “No way.”

A friend of mine was sharing some stories of struggles in her marriage yesterday and it occurred to me it wasn’t what she was saying that was the problem, it was how she was saying it. And while I am not as brash as her, it’s a mistake I have to admit I have made myself both recently and in the past.

When I suggested a more indirect, buttered up, sugar on top, asking not telling approach to getting her husband’s cooperation, she literally bristled. And I think many women today do the same. “Why that’s weakness, that’s handing him the power, that’s not how it works anymore, I may as well be a doormat” etc. she sputtered. Even though what she’s doing is clearly not working, she stubbornly wanted to double down, increase the volume, and keep on doing exactly the same. And sadly, despite my advice, she likely will. Not good.

Yet for some reason she cannot see her actions are in many ways creating the very situation she is trying to resolve. She wants to feel closer to her husband, be happier, feel connected, have a good marriage. Harping at him or demanding that or listing all the ways he isn’t pleasing her or doing it right ain’t going to get her there, guaranteed.

I know I may be accused of being misogynist, but what she’d be wiser to do is tap her feminine wiles. Be gentle. Be nice. Ask instead of tell. Butter him up. Turn up the charisma. Give him a foot rub or better yet some good lovin’. Bat her eyes. Fuss over him. Dress pretty. Make sure he has a full belly and is otherwise content first before making any requests. Snuggle up to his side and say it softly. Approach him with respect, seeking his help and guidance in solving her issue. It’s called being submissive, and while it has fallen out of fashion, I’m telling you, it works like a charm. And it for sure works a whole lot better than coming at him like a shrieking, harpie shrew.

Unfortunately when emotions run high, it’s also all too easy to forget. In the heat of the moment you might win the occasional battle, but you’ll surely lose the war.

Sometimes it’s easier to show than tell. Classic movies made prior to the late 1960s offer plenty of examples of women using their feminine wiles, or indirect power. It’s not groveling, demeaning, powerlessness. Nor is it scheming, manipulative, or intended to do harm. It’s subtle, non-confrontational, and demure. It’s cooperation, not competition. And as the movies also show, it can make the strongest of men melt.

Or keep doing what doesn’t work. The “modern” way. But don’t be surprised to keep getting the same non-results. And if so, you can’t say I didn’t try to tell ya.

Tell you what, if you don’t believe me, why not try it? Just for fun? See what happens? I’ll do it too. Pinky swear?

Let those who have ears hear.

Battles With the Green Eyed Monster

19 Monday Jan 2015

Posted by in Uncategorized

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I hate to admit this but lately I have been acting like an idiot and I need to knock it off. The green eyed monster is getting the better of me.

i don’t know why I am feeling this way. My fiancé is one of the most loyal and honest people I have ever met. But for some reason jealousy has still gotten the better of me at least twice in the past two months.

I pout. Get mad. Act like a spoiled brat. Then the next day I cringe and wish I could take it all back.

Case in point, yesterday we were at a party with his large group of friends, all married couples.  For some reason I find one woman in particular threatening. She’s very flirtatious and I also know she’s unhappy married, unlike the other couples. I think she flirts because she’s not getting validation from her own man, but I wish she’d stop seeking an ego boost from mine. Back off, sista!

Maybe knowing her relationship is rocky is why her friendship with my fiancé threatens me. I worry what if she was single? Then the runaway jealousy train gets going,  and I start operating form some two year old level, pouting and acting aloof, imagining all sorts of malarkey.

Maybe it’s what the guys call shit tests.  I am not sure. But I know it’s annoying and if I don’t get it under control it’s going to cause serious damage to our relationship. He’s been understanding so far, but he’s also told me I need figure it out and stop doing it.

I wish I could be like frequent commenter Liz, who just laughs it off when the ladies at the bakery write love notes on the box to her hottie husband.  I’d probably be sending them back the box with threatening notes made up of letters clipped from magazines! I admire her self control.

Luckily for me, he gets it. He’s had his own struggles with the green eyed monster, too.  He knows it’s irrational.

Insecurity and fear of loss suck. And if one isn’t careful, they can drive you right toward what you fear most. Love. It can bring out the strangest things, not all of them good.

So I am going to do all I can to put the green eyed monster in time out before I seriously muck things up. Wish me luck!

Thank God Men Don’t Get PMS

14 Wednesday Jan 2015

Posted by in Gender, Relationships, Sex and Such

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I saw a comment on another red pill blog that explained perfectly a key difference between men and women. I wish I had copied it then so I could paste it here now, because it was beautiful and poetic and explained so well something we women live with on a daily basis but men do not: shifting hormones.

The post was from an older man to a younger one who had lost his girlfriend, right before the holidays. It sounded like hormones were involved. The older man explained women are not like men. Women are more like clouds, constantly shifting from day to day and even minute to minute thanks to our ever changing hormonal state starting in puberty and going through menopause.

Clouds. I thought it a good analogy. And he said it not in a negative or blaming way, no “hormones make women evil” stuff, he just schooled this younger man that that’s how women are, they can’t control it, that dealing with women meant dealing with this, and that for a man being ahead of the curve instead of caught off guard (keep a chart, maybe?) makes relationships go a whole lot smoother. (I will try to find the original post and quote it….but that is the much less poetic and profound cliff notes version.)

I was blown away by his understanding of something I don’t totally understand myself or acknowledge nearly as often as I should. I don’t know about you ladies, but even after 30 some years of month after month, my fluctuating hormones can still catch me off guard, especially right before “that time.” And there I will be, pissed, feeling like I want to throw a car across the yard, picking a fight with my man, feeling it with every fiber of my being, and then the next day – Whoops! Oooooh…so that’s why I was so upset.

Then I have to admit it and apologize. How embarrassing.

Before you fight with your boyfriend/fiancee/husband/spouse/FWB/insert term here, check the calendar. It might be your hormones, not him. Just sayin’!

To the men reading along, I wish we could control it but we cannot. God knows I have tried, and I am sure other women have too. We envy your logical, steady (constantly on) hormonal state. I can only hope that there is an upside to all our female hormone induced shape shifting. (Oh yeah, those same hormones give us curves!?!?)

Whatever it is, men and women and women and men can’t seem to leave each other alone for long, so there must be something about it that works. Right? Um yeah….trying to think positive here, ok? Making lemonade and all that.

Or maybe it’s all just a cruel joke. The jury is still out.

Let those who have ears hear.

Why Women Should Visit Mars (And How to Get There)

06 Tuesday Jan 2015

Posted by in Gender, Red Pill

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The first time I traveled outside of the United States, my eyes were opened to how  many of the things I took as universal truths, actually were not.

Going to China also gave me an understanding of it that I never could have gained any other way. Of course I did not understand China as well as a native Chinese and likely never could, but at least I actually experienced it firsthand and whether or not all of my impressions were correct, in less than one day I learned more about China than I had in my entire life.

In a similar way, I think more women should take a trip to Mars (aka the male world), if they really want to learn about men. Having visited Mars myself, I have discovered much of what I, and most women (aka Vesuvians), think about Martians (aka men) is simply downright inaccurate.

Instead, they only know Mars as it appears from Venus, or from what other Vesuvians (who have never been there either) have said about life on Mars.

So how can women visit Mars, see it for herself? Before it was nearly impossible, a totally closed off world. Luckily thanks to the Internet, it’s now possible. A good starter trip can be found by following the links posted at the end…but don’t go just yet.

Like any voyage to a foreign land, before clicking on them, I would urge Vesuvians to do so with an open mind, and to not judge that world by Venus standards, but rather try to experience it for itself. Right, wrong, or indifferent life on Mars is wildly different than life on Venus. You might be shocked, outraged, confused, and annoyed at first. “Why isn’t Mars like Venus? What the heck are they saying? This just doesn’t make any sense. OMG are you frickin’ kidding me?”

But if you can approach your journey with an open mind, almost like an archeological adventure, you will also find that the trip will open your eyes to a Mars you never knew existed, both more troubled and more wondrous than you ever could have imagined. Once you see it in person, you will never view Mars the same again.

Keep in mind, nothing is more annoying than a tourist who barges in and starts telling people they don’t understand their own culture or argues with them about their long held cultural norms. Those tourists will most likely only get ripped off and left stranded, and rightfully so. Remember: Mars is what it is.

But if you truly want to see the “real” Mars — the Mars most Vesuvian visitors will never, ever, ever see — try to observe for a long time first, soak it in, get your bearings. And then when you do start interacting with the natives remember you’re a guest, not a colonizer. It’s their world. Show lots of respect, be accepting despite the differences, don’t be easily offended, and seek to understand before you seek to be understood.

It’s not Venus. And it never will be. Wanting Mars to be like Venus would be like thinking China would be better if only it were exactly like America. (And some fellow American tourists, I was embarrassed to find in town after town, bellowed just that at the top of their lungs every chance they got the whole stinkin’ time. I wondered why they bothered to travel at all?) Sure, China isn’t perfect, but if we’re truly honest with ourselves neither is America (or wherever you live). China is in fact the oldest continuous civilization on earth. That didn’t happen because they “just don’t get it.”  Kinda like Mars. Visit if you dare, and tread lightly if you do. It’s a fascinating, fascinating place.

Note: The following links were kindly provided by a native to Mars, one of the first to reach out to me on my own maiden voyage, and a most trusted, knowledgeable, worthy, and able guide. When traveling, I find it’s always best to start with a local’s recommendations, then branch out from there. Think of it as a must see list. Unlike this blog from Venus to others on Venus, the blogs in this list are ones by Martians, for Martians.

Another hint, on Mars it’s not just about the destination itself, read on and discover what the commenters have to say in reaction to the host. That’s often where the good (and brace yourself — also often absolutely outrageously shocking from a Vesuvian point of view) stuff lies. Not everyone on Mars gets it, particularly about Venus, but be patient and I think you will find many of them do. And those ones want nothing more than to help Vesuvians truly, truly, truly understand life on Mars. Ignore the static, search for the signals. If you do, I guarantee you’ll find that some of the best people in the universe can be found on Mars!

Safe travels! And if you find yourself in trouble, tell them Red Pill Girl (aka Bloom) sent you. If you follow all of the the advice above, while they may not serve it up sugar coated on Mars, chances are there will be someone there to help with translation or point you in the right way. If you don’t follow the advice above, I can’t help you. You will deserve what you get. You have been warned.

And remember, it’s going to be a wild and crazy adventure. Chances are you’ll never see life on Venus, or Mars, the same again.

(Here is where I hug you and wish you all the best, look you sternly in the eye one last time, then say, “and sister — don’t make me regret ever sharing Mars with you!”)

Oh and one last thing, if you read something you don’t like (and you will) remember hate message, not the messenger.

They Don’t Speak Vesuvian on Mars

05 Monday Jan 2015

Posted by in Relationships

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Ladies, this weekend was a good reminder for me that I cannot lose sight of the fact that they don’t speak Vesuvian on Mars.

Or in other words, men and women are different. We just are. We think different. We experience the world different. We want and are motivated by different subconscious and/or biological agendas and desires. And we have been since the beginning of man meets woman.

I can hear it now, “But these are modern times, things have changed.”

I would argue they haven’t. You may be reading this on the Internet from halfway around the world, on your phone, while eating a meal you didn’t kill, raise, forage prepare, or even cook while I sit here and have my morning coffee made from beans grown in a country I have never visited that were picked and processed and transported and roasted and ground by people I have never met using a process I don’t understand any better than putting the little plastic cup into the machine, adding water, and pressing a flashing blue button — but the reality remains that we’re not really that different than homo sapiens who lived in mud huts and barely understood fire.

Ok, maybe you can explain the chemical in’s and out’s of fire (or not), but if I am honest, the only thing I know about fire is that I flick a cigarette lighter or strike a match and it happens. Without that, I’d be in bad shape.

But back to my point. From the dawn of time, or however you believe man and woman came to be, men performed certain functions of survival that required a particular skill set and women performed an entirely different set of survival functions that required another skill set. They needed each others skills, but there was little overlap between what skills and knowledge he needed and she needed to do their set of survival tasks. They were specialists and their brain functioning reflected that.

We could get distracted by the nurture or nature thing here, or one off scenarios where maybe occasionally a man or woman was outside the box and that worked out, but let’s just simplify it to say that either way, overall and most of the time, men and women who survived did so because their brains worked in the way they needed them to in order to do it. And it hasn’t changed and (like it or not) it probably won’t ever change.

Men lived in a world that required largely physical and logistical prowess: hunting, fighting, securing resources, inventing/building stuff, and (ahem) impregnating women. It was a world requiring few words (but very complex just the same.)

Women lived in a world that required being able to do something with the resources provided and read the tea leaves of nuance: or in other words they lived in a village filled with women and children and old people. Survival meant navigating the complexities of that world, reading between the lines, making deals and alliances, and concealing any ulterior motives that might rock the boat because without that village odds of survival were slim to none. It was a world requiring a vocabulary and understanding of syntax and meaning and what was being said without it being said or in addition to what was said that would stump a trained linguist.

Fast forward to men and women today. Man talks to woman. He says a short and simple statement that means exactly what he said. Woman translates that simple and literal sentence to mean what it would mean if she was saying it, including all of the hidden subtext, then responds. Perhaps she responds with a soliloquy or a sentence, but guaranteed whatever she said, she has said, but not said, about 15 other things as well.

He is trying to process how things went from what he said to what she said. He either repeats what he said, or tries to respond to some or all of the gazillion plus one things she said (but misses the 15 she didn’t say).

She feels misunderstood. He feels misunderstood. Maybe they start to get upset at the things that were or were not ever said or meant or how the things they said or didn’t say were misinterpreted. Maybe they try to keep talking, maybe they get mad and stop talking.

Then add to it, not only are they talking out loud, they are also talking internally.

From what men have told me anyway, inside his head the dialog is again pretty straightforward and literal. There’s no “unsaid” or “secret”  or “hidden” message.

Inside her head, the dialog is more like a complicated decision tree, complete with multiple rabbit trails, twists, turns, and numerous contingency outcomes. Oh and about 15 more things she is not saying but expects him to understand because, duh.

And whether it was 1500 years ago or this past weekend, it all boils down to this: they don’t speak Vesuvian on Mars. But somehow in the heat of the moment, it is all too darn easy to forget that.

Either right then, or after everyone settles down, they hopefully kiss and hold each other and don’t say anything (except maybe “I’m sorry”) and then somehow magically everything is OK again.

Let those who have ears hear.

“Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There is too much fraternizing with the enemy.”
― Henry Kissinger

Growing Pains

04 Sunday Jan 2015

Posted by in Relationships

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Growing pains have started to emerge in the weeks following my engagement. Little things, but I am starting to wonder if they are not a warning sign of something more.

I suspect for both of us, we’ve been there, done that. Once bitten twice shy. When one first marries, all you can feel is excitement about the unknown territory ahead. Pure bliss, breakfasts in bed, cute pet names, and thinking each others habits are all so adorable are all one can imagine.

When you have been married before, you know how hard it can be. And what happens when it doesn’t work out. And that even when people go in saying they are all in, as years pass, it doesn’t always turn out that way. And then there are lawyers and judges and pain so deep you don’t know if it will ever end (it will.)

I do know my fiance is a wonderful man. That’s why his current behavior is so puzzling. Suspicion. Questions. Jealousy. Blame. The not so fun stuff. A side I have not seen before. He’s been burned, badly, in the past by untrue women and lately it feels like he’s imagining myself in that role.

Of course I don’t like it. Who would? I have done nothing in anyway untrue. I am trying to be understanding. I have my fears too, and the further we walk along the path, the more real it is becoming. I get that. So I am doing my best to be constructive, non-reactive and hope that this is just a phase we need to work through and that we’ll come out on the other side.

But I also threw a penny in a wishing well and silently wished that if we are going to end up getting divorced that we never make it to the getting married part. As hard as it is to say that.

Goodbye rose colored glasses. You didn’t protect me before, but sometimes not knowing how bad things can be is what it takes to get you to give you the courage to take the plunge. Wide eyed, it’s not so easy to jump.

So for now I am waiting and watching to see. I am reading up on what I can do to help manage my part of the picture in the most productive, healthy way. We all have baggage.  Baggage isn’t the problem. It’s what people do with it. It’s people who can own and manage their baggage, rather than those who are destructively driven around by it, that make good partners. I am watching this front closely.

Not the best weekend, but on the other hand it’s not over yet.

“The worst type of communication is “no communication”. The best type of communication is clarification.”
― Sarah Tse

Behold the Unending Joy of People’s and Squeak

02 Friday Jan 2015

Posted by in Red Pill

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Ok, I know this food-related post is off topic, but what the heck — we all have to eat, right?

Some of you from England may know of this dish called people’s and squeak (I think?) but I have just discovered it and wanted to share.

If, like me, you often have leftovers but don’t use them, this post is for you. Basically what people’s and squeak is, is taking leftovers, reheating them in a frying pan, scrambling in a few eggs, and having the dish for a quick and easy hot breakfast. If it was good before, it’s great this way too. Add a piece of toast and maybe some fresh fruit and you are ready to roll.

I know it sounds odd, but it’s freaking delicious, and so easy. Italian food, Mexican food, Chinese food, chili, etc. it all works and because it’s always different, it doesn’t get old. And it’s different enough from the original dish that it doesn’t seem like leftovers, either.

Give it a try and let me know what you think!

I am trying to think of some red pill for the ladies wisdom to add to this so here goes, men like food! A man with a full stomach is a happy man. Feed him well and you will be a happy and much loved woman.

Let those who have ears hear.

p.s. please feel free to share your creative tips involving leftovers or easy meals in the comments!