Tags
battle of the sexes, dating, divorce, gender, marriage, men, red pill, relationships, women
The first time I traveled outside of the United States, my eyes were opened to how many of the things I took as universal truths, actually were not.
Going to China also gave me an understanding of it that I never could have gained any other way. Of course I did not understand China as well as a native Chinese and likely never could, but at least I actually experienced it firsthand and whether or not all of my impressions were correct, in less than one day I learned more about China than I had in my entire life.
In a similar way, I think more women should take a trip to Mars (aka the male world), if they really want to learn about men. Having visited Mars myself, I have discovered much of what I, and most women (aka Vesuvians), think about Martians (aka men) is simply downright inaccurate.
Instead, they only know Mars as it appears from Venus, or from what other Vesuvians (who have never been there either) have said about life on Mars.
So how can women visit Mars, see it for herself? Before it was nearly impossible, a totally closed off world. Luckily thanks to the Internet, it’s now possible. A good starter trip can be found by following the links posted at the end…but don’t go just yet.
Like any voyage to a foreign land, before clicking on them, I would urge Vesuvians to do so with an open mind, and to not judge that world by Venus standards, but rather try to experience it for itself. Right, wrong, or indifferent life on Mars is wildly different than life on Venus. You might be shocked, outraged, confused, and annoyed at first. “Why isn’t Mars like Venus? What the heck are they saying? This just doesn’t make any sense. OMG are you frickin’ kidding me?”
But if you can approach your journey with an open mind, almost like an archeological adventure, you will also find that the trip will open your eyes to a Mars you never knew existed, both more troubled and more wondrous than you ever could have imagined. Once you see it in person, you will never view Mars the same again.
Keep in mind, nothing is more annoying than a tourist who barges in and starts telling people they don’t understand their own culture or argues with them about their long held cultural norms. Those tourists will most likely only get ripped off and left stranded, and rightfully so. Remember: Mars is what it is.
But if you truly want to see the “real” Mars — the Mars most Vesuvian visitors will never, ever, ever see — try to observe for a long time first, soak it in, get your bearings. And then when you do start interacting with the natives remember you’re a guest, not a colonizer. It’s their world. Show lots of respect, be accepting despite the differences, don’t be easily offended, and seek to understand before you seek to be understood.
It’s not Venus. And it never will be. Wanting Mars to be like Venus would be like thinking China would be better if only it were exactly like America. (And some fellow American tourists, I was embarrassed to find in town after town, bellowed just that at the top of their lungs every chance they got the whole stinkin’ time. I wondered why they bothered to travel at all?) Sure, China isn’t perfect, but if we’re truly honest with ourselves neither is America (or wherever you live). China is in fact the oldest continuous civilization on earth. That didn’t happen because they “just don’t get it.” Kinda like Mars. Visit if you dare, and tread lightly if you do. It’s a fascinating, fascinating place.
Note: The following links were kindly provided by a native to Mars, one of the first to reach out to me on my own maiden voyage, and a most trusted, knowledgeable, worthy, and able guide. When traveling, I find it’s always best to start with a local’s recommendations, then branch out from there. Think of it as a must see list. Unlike this blog from Venus to others on Venus, the blogs in this list are ones by Martians, for Martians.
Another hint, on Mars it’s not just about the destination itself, read on and discover what the commenters have to say in reaction to the host. That’s often where the good (and brace yourself — also often absolutely outrageously shocking from a Vesuvian point of view) stuff lies. Not everyone on Mars gets it, particularly about Venus, but be patient and I think you will find many of them do. And those ones want nothing more than to help Vesuvians truly, truly, truly understand life on Mars. Ignore the static, search for the signals. If you do, I guarantee you’ll find that some of the best people in the universe can be found on Mars!
Safe travels! And if you find yourself in trouble, tell them Red Pill Girl (aka Bloom) sent you. If you follow all of the the advice above, while they may not serve it up sugar coated on Mars, chances are there will be someone there to help with translation or point you in the right way. If you don’t follow the advice above, I can’t help you. You will deserve what you get. You have been warned.
And remember, it’s going to be a wild and crazy adventure. Chances are you’ll never see life on Venus, or Mars, the same again.
(Here is where I hug you and wish you all the best, look you sternly in the eye one last time, then say, “and sister — don’t make me regret ever sharing Mars with you!”)
Oh and one last thing, if you read something you don’t like (and you will) remember hate message, not the messenger.
- Rational Male
- Heartiste.wordpress.com (archives starting in 2007 up to about early 2011)
- Dalrock
- Alpha Game (Vox Day’s game/intersexual relationship site)
Indeed BV, and agreed re: autonomy. I was thinking about this innocence thing just this past weekend…wouldn’t that be nice? But then again, perhaps it is better to know than to not know? Hard to say…
Redpillgirlnotes,
To expand on what Jeremy said, you’re not likely to view marriage as reversible. What I think is happening is that men are being seen as all too replacable by women. You know what it took to find him, so you will value him that much more.
While there are only as many men as women, it does seem as if women are swimming in men while men live in a desert. If men could address this collectively, a lot of issues would go by the wayside.
Good thoughts Jeremy! I agree when people start pondering divorce as an option, it can take on a life of its own until they convince themselves its the answer – when its not.
The more I views marriage as an irreversible decision the worst my ex wife behaved. While Jeremy’s advice is a sound ons for some a man must do the opposite. He needs to be willing and she needs to understand way, way WAY deep down that he will burn it all to.the ground and piss on the ashes if she doesn’t act correctly.
Very true fuzzie! Good points!
@ ton yikes! I am sure that scary thought would give many considering a frivorce 2nd thoughts! I know a guy who did just that actually. I didn’t understand why at the time…
@Ton
I agree with you. Most men don’t view marriage as reversible. Whether this is because most men are unhappy with change (and we are), or because of financial consequences, or losing kids, etc, fact is that men view marriage as mostly irreversible. Even men who cheat, by and large, don’t do so to leave their wives (whereas women who cheat are much more likely to end their marriages).
My advice was directed to women, not that they asked for it. As long as the bulk of consequences of divorce are borne by men, women will see marriage as reversible and will be more likely to exercise choice addiction.
Yeah, you tell a man that marriage is irreversible, and he’ll frame the choices as “success, or die”. This just guarantees catastrophe if the woman doesn’t hold up her end; he’ll wither and beg, because that’s better than dying. Which just hastens the catastrophe.
Hey red you watching the game or pampering the alpha babies tonight?
Wison,
I think that you’re sweet on Redpillgirlnotes and this is the source of all the trouble.
It is very easy tobe sweet on her.
@ Jeremy good points. Sadly. 😦
I don’t watch sports Wilson. Sitting in a hot tub w my two girl babies instead, waiting for my fiancé to get here. Drinking, again? Gonna share your story or just heckle folk? Humm? We are waiting..:
Awww fuzzie! (Blush)
Drinking yes. Heckling yes.
Im a 38 year old meat popsicle. I mostly laugh at internet tough guys.
@ Wilson I see, well thanks for sharing that much. How did you find this blog? Do you visit other red pill blogs?
Honestly it just showed up on my feed. But its been comical.
@ Wilson ever been married? Divorced? Have kids? Type of work? The Internet tough guys ton and bv are all of the above, ton a army get and lifelong soldier, bv an entrupreneur and aviation enthusiast (former pro or not I am not sure.) he survived a near fatal motorcycle crash about a year back. They are both good guys, not sure why you would want to heckle them. And I consider them friends so I would appreciate you being constructive here, you might be surprised at what they could teach you, were you to listen…
Well Wilson glad we make you laugh then at least. Cheers!
Got it Jermey, thanks for the clarification
Ever wonder what sort of physiological/ emotional defect causes the trolls like wilson?
Well now I feel like an asshole. Bv thank you for your service. Just gonna move along.
Lol she’s taken but I can still be smitten.
Thanks Wilson, don’t feel like an ass, hang out and explore the red pill, it’s ton, your nemisis, who is the vet btw.
@ Wilson I say that bc I don’t believe you would visit here, or comment, if these issues didnt speak to you somehow. Ton and I also sparred at first, he’ll get past it if you do. He’s actually a great guy. As is fuzzie, and bv, and the rest. As is Liz, and Emily, and tarn. You’ll see… If you dare!
Hey Scfton how are you?
What do you think scrotum?
@ Wilson ??? Scrotum??? Really???
Yes he’s scrotum
Wilson,
Why are you trying to make enemies when you could be making friends?
Ok I was trying to give you benifit of the doubt but perhaps you should move on.
Well red you have the ban button.
That’s right Wilson but I’d prefer you move on voluntarily. If these things don’t interest you, why hang around? Just being adversarial makes no sense.
Being adversarial is whats fun. But ill move on. 😦
Wilson,
When you land somewhere else, try making friends.
You should try heartiste, Wilson. Heckling is the modus operandi over there.
Wilson has to heckle men like BV and myself; if we are ligit then he ranks, way down on the masculine totem pole.
Wilson, dearly beloved, the only threats to my life that I’ve encountered are a) self-imposed; and b) getting through the lobbies of various unmarked buildings in DC. Ton, otoh, knows how to kill you with one hand while making dinner. I know this paragraph is a bit long for you, but the tl:dr version involves language Bloom doesn’t use.
LOL don’t interrupt me when I am cooking Risotto……
Risotto? Not some caveman dish like T-rex rib roast stuffed with mastodon? Just kidding! Enjoy! 🙂
Redpillgirlnotes,
My mouth is watering at the thought! However, we’re not cooperative hunters but, we can dream!
side dishes woman! ever hear of them????….. but t-rex ribs…… Jurassic Park here I come
Nom, nom, nom fuzzie! Dare to dream! 🙂
@ bv autonomy is a concept I get as an introvert, not sure my fiancé is as comfortable w space and time away and things unshared. As a mom I already basically get zero solo time. Add a relationship and…even less “me” time. Not that I don’t want a relationship. I’s hard to explain that to non-introverts…. Writers need lots of alone time and right now for Bloom that’s in short supply 😦
Redpillgirlnotes,
Nom, nom, nom…I want some!!!
Maybe t-Rex wasn’t so great eatin’ anyway? Most predators aren’t. So brontosaurus maybe? Or mastodon? Hummm… Prehistoric menus….what was primo???
supper was ribeyes on the grill and chicken/ mushroom Risotto Girl#1 loves the Risotto and I love steak.
Redpillgirlnotes,
Mastodon is a possibility for bears and humans.
Meat for a week!!!
@ fuzzie I am not familiar w the weight of mastodon vs elephant but I’d venture that would last more than a week (properly dried and cured, which would likely have been a cave woman thang… 😉 ) mastodon rug? Coat? Boots? Hummmm…. I think one mastodon could go a long, long way!
Uh huh scfton! Suuuuure! 😉 lol
P.s. the video link didn’t seem to work, what did it link to?
Redpillgirlnotes,
I like watching documentaries and there was one that I saw years ago on mammoths. They found a well preserved carcass in Siberia. There was a good chance on sucessful in viro fertilization. Only one problem, a contemporary elephant’s womb could not accomodate a mammoth fetus to term.
That’s big!
@ fuzzie… Coats and boots and plenty to eat for everyone! Who says modern life is better? (Where I live, at least, the Pacific Northwest, thanks to salmon and an otherwise gentle and rich environment, life was once so abundant that the natives had little to do but enjoy for 8 months out of the year!)
Redpillgirlnotes,
I have heard that going from being hunter-gatherers to agriculture meant that we had to take on a lot more work. The drawback for hunter-gatherers is that it required great deal more land.
More land but no mortgage….
But yes Fuzzie, it is true. I can’t remember the numbers but I am sure I could find them of how many acres per person were needed for hunting and gathering vs. ag. It seems like 27 acres were needed per person for hunting and gathering, low population for sure. Many ancient civilizations (now gone) had more density with ag (from Mayans to Egyptians to Anasazi), but they did not stand the test of time…. perhaps Han Solo was right, easy living is the beginning of the end? Hummm…
Things change and devolution is complex. You reminded me of a comparison between Egypt of the Pharohs ann King Farouk, just after Woeld War II. The earlier Egypt could support four times the population and export grain. Under Farouk, they were a net importer of food.
I haven’t seen or heard from Han Solo in ages. Is he all right?
I don’t know where Han went fuzzie, maybe he found a girlfriend and got too busy for all this? Such a shame, he was a wise one! I hope he is well and happy wherever he may be!
@ fuzzie re Egypt then and now…there is a Good Book about what happened there…not sure how that applies to Anasazi or Mayans or other kaput empires….
Redpillgirlnotes,
I did see his running pal, Sir Nemesis, over at Donalgraeme’s awhile ago. Han may be hanging out at Reddit. I hope that all is weel.
There is a theory about the Chaco Canyon Indians. In order to build, they had to make mortar, which involves burning lime. They burnt down all the trees.
Elmore James, dust my broom.
I always ramp up the booze, blues and beef consumption before work. Not sure why
Bloom, I wouldn’t necessarily use the term “autonomy” to break down my idea of boundaries. I have boundaries as much for my own benefit as a woman’s. I need them because
a) I found myself freaking out when relationships turned truly intimate (given negative experiences with marriage) and it was unfortunate because I sabotaged a couple of really good relationships;
and b) I’m just a better guy to women, and in better command of my behavior, because I have a strong recidivist impulse to please women by reverting to drafthorse beta mode.
I was in love with a unicorn ten years ago, before I had thought about any of this stuff, but after even 2-3 days with her, and they were very, very good days, I was so freaked out that I’d leave her home and drive straight to a bar to dull the panic. I don’t do that if we have boundaries that allow me to know at all times that I can return to my home without threatening the relationship.
If we read the John Donne poem, A Valediction Forbidding Mourning, Donne uses the metaphor of the navigator’s compass to describe their intimacy. But it’s an intimacy of two souls in orbit with each other, not merged in some sappy stew. Donne was a spy, soldier, cleric as well as poet; he wasn’t going to give his strength to a woman, as advised in Proverbs 31. This seems healthier, to me, for all concerned.
“…Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to airy thinness beat.
If they be two, they are two so
As stiff twin compasses are two;
Thy soul, the fixed foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if the other do.
And though it in the center sit,
Yet when the other far doth roam,
It leans and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.
Such wilt thou be to me, who must,
Like th’ other foot, obliquely run;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end where I begun.
I like that bv!
Haha hehe
***background sound of rats randomly running across the keyboard, occasionally clicking the post button, while I’m passed out in a puddle of MD 20/20 tinged vomit***
….thought I might as well join in.
Just on the off chance that somebody gets to my comment before going to the referenced red pill sites…
Hartiste is pretty hardcore, like being escorted through Bangkok brothels. I wouldn’t recommend it to a Venusian on her first trip. Bring Dramamine. and Pepto Bismal.
If you want to ease into it gently, I’d say first watch the James Marshall videos on YouTube. He’s not really representative of the PUA community, but his vibe is very appealing to women. IMO he’s probably the closest the community has to an ethical pick up artist.
Then if you want to read an evolution of a pickup artist from nerd failure to pick up master, read NIck’s blog at http://www.krauserpua.com. If you want the Cliff notes, start with the first installments of his memoirs, “Balls Deep”, also posted recently on his blog. Around mid-career (2011 maybe?) he gets pretty sordid, but he’s documenting all this in complete honesty. He also has some of the best writings available on the theoretical model of pickup.