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Like it or not, the book and now movie 50 Shades of Grey has been a smashing financial success. The book has sold more copies than Harry Potter, the movie grossed over $81 million this past opening weekend. And all this despite nearly everyone who critiqued the book saying it was pretty terribly written. (I have not read the book or seen the movie.)

Whether you are in the love it or hate it camp, there is no denying this book and then film hit a raw nerve in a big, big way. So why has it been so successful? What is it that has people (errr, I mean women) buying the books and flocking to the theaters in droves?

Well, for one thing it’s about sex. And as they say, sex sells. More than that it’s about a sexual relationship where the male partner is dominant and the female partner is submissive.

This isn’t the soft, gentle, wrapped in romance style sex that most men and women have been sold as “the way it works.” It’s not roses and chocolates and hopes that with a foot rub and some choreplay there *might* be some sex in return for Mr. Grey, if he’s lucky.

But wait, that’s what women want, right? Isn’t that how it works?

Actually not, as I think the success of this book and movie clearly show. Those familiar with the Red Pill shouldn’t be surprised by this information. Manospherians recognized this dynamic long ago and have built an entire philosophy of seduction and tripping a woman’s attraction wires around it.

What the Red Pill says, among other things, is that women and men are not the same. Gender is not a social construct. Men and women are different.

Yet over the past 40 years a “same and equal” philosophy that women want men to act more like women and men want women who act more like men has been pushed by the larger culture, often called the Blue Pill, much to the dissatisfaction of all.

Not to be crude but what do women like about men? They are hard. What do men like about women? They are soft. What doesn’t work? Soft men and hard women.

I am not saying everyone needs to go get whips and handcuffs to be sexually happy (but if it floats your boat, go for it). What I am saying is that the feminized man and the masculine woman dynamic doesn’t work.

But God forbid you say it out loud because THAT’S JUST NOT OK. It’s misogyny. It’s sexist. It’s abusive. It’s oppressive. It’s patriarchy. Etc.

To that I simply say, it wasn’t men buying these books and movie tickets for the most part, now was it? So who exactly is so titillated by the idea of a man calling the shots? Hummm?

Female sexuality has a side that few women want to admit to but Harlequin romance novel writers, female erotica writers, and the author of 50 Shades all reveal loud and clear. Women aren’t the delicate little asexual fainting flowers the Victorians portrayed them to be.

So why are we as a culture (and in many ways especially women) working so hard to deny that? I think a lot of marriages and relationships could be greatly improved by putting aside the prudish Blue Pill thinking and embracing the Red Pill reality the runaway success of 50 Shades makes abundantly clear.

Hopefully more women, and men, will be awakened to how it works — and how it has always worked — because of it.

Exhibit A…

“He moves suddenly so that his hand is cupping my sex, and one of his fingers sinks slowly into me. His other arm holds me firmly in place around my waist.

“This is mine,” he whispers aggressively. “All mine. Do you understand?” He eases his finger in and out as he gazes down at me, gauging my reaction, his eyes burning.

“Yes, yours…”

Abruptly, he moves, doing several things at once: Withdrawing his fingers, leaving me wanting, unzipping his fly, and pushing me down onto the couch so he’s lying on top of me.

“Hands on your head,” he commands through gritted teeth as he kneels up, forcing my legs wider…

“We don’t have long. This will be quick, and it’s for me, not you. Do you understand?

Don’t come, or I will spank you,” he says through clenched teeth.”

~ E.L. James

That text didn’t sweep through suburbia faster than the latest measles outbreak for nothing. And it wasn’t men who were telling their friends about it, it was women.

What does that say?

Let those who have ears hear.