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50 Shades, 50 Shades of Grey, alpha male, androgeny, attraction, bad boys, battle of the sexes, beta, blue pill, divorce, marriage, red pill, sex life, sexuality
Like it or not, the book and now movie 50 Shades of Grey has been a smashing financial success. The book has sold more copies than Harry Potter, the movie grossed over $81 million this past opening weekend. And all this despite nearly everyone who critiqued the book saying it was pretty terribly written. (I have not read the book or seen the movie.)
Whether you are in the love it or hate it camp, there is no denying this book and then film hit a raw nerve in a big, big way. So why has it been so successful? What is it that has people (errr, I mean women) buying the books and flocking to the theaters in droves?
Well, for one thing it’s about sex. And as they say, sex sells. More than that it’s about a sexual relationship where the male partner is dominant and the female partner is submissive.
This isn’t the soft, gentle, wrapped in romance style sex that most men and women have been sold as “the way it works.” It’s not roses and chocolates and hopes that with a foot rub and some choreplay there *might* be some sex in return for Mr. Grey, if he’s lucky.
But wait, that’s what women want, right? Isn’t that how it works?
Actually not, as I think the success of this book and movie clearly show. Those familiar with the Red Pill shouldn’t be surprised by this information. Manospherians recognized this dynamic long ago and have built an entire philosophy of seduction and tripping a woman’s attraction wires around it.
What the Red Pill says, among other things, is that women and men are not the same. Gender is not a social construct. Men and women are different.
Yet over the past 40 years a “same and equal” philosophy that women want men to act more like women and men want women who act more like men has been pushed by the larger culture, often called the Blue Pill, much to the dissatisfaction of all.
Not to be crude but what do women like about men? They are hard. What do men like about women? They are soft. What doesn’t work? Soft men and hard women.
I am not saying everyone needs to go get whips and handcuffs to be sexually happy (but if it floats your boat, go for it). What I am saying is that the feminized man and the masculine woman dynamic doesn’t work.
But God forbid you say it out loud because THAT’S JUST NOT OK. It’s misogyny. It’s sexist. It’s abusive. It’s oppressive. It’s patriarchy. Etc.
To that I simply say, it wasn’t men buying these books and movie tickets for the most part, now was it? So who exactly is so titillated by the idea of a man calling the shots? Hummm?
Female sexuality has a side that few women want to admit to but Harlequin romance novel writers, female erotica writers, and the author of 50 Shades all reveal loud and clear. Women aren’t the delicate little asexual fainting flowers the Victorians portrayed them to be.
So why are we as a culture (and in many ways especially women) working so hard to deny that? I think a lot of marriages and relationships could be greatly improved by putting aside the prudish Blue Pill thinking and embracing the Red Pill reality the runaway success of 50 Shades makes abundantly clear.
Hopefully more women, and men, will be awakened to how it works — and how it has always worked — because of it.
Exhibit A…
“He moves suddenly so that his hand is cupping my sex, and one of his fingers sinks slowly into me. His other arm holds me firmly in place around my waist.
“This is mine,” he whispers aggressively. “All mine. Do you understand?” He eases his finger in and out as he gazes down at me, gauging my reaction, his eyes burning.
“Yes, yours…”
Abruptly, he moves, doing several things at once: Withdrawing his fingers, leaving me wanting, unzipping his fly, and pushing me down onto the couch so he’s lying on top of me.
“Hands on your head,” he commands through gritted teeth as he kneels up, forcing my legs wider…
“We don’t have long. This will be quick, and it’s for me, not you. Do you understand?
Don’t come, or I will spank you,” he says through clenched teeth.”
~ E.L. James
That text didn’t sweep through suburbia faster than the latest measles outbreak for nothing. And it wasn’t men who were telling their friends about it, it was women.
What does that say?
Let those who have ears hear.
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
Yes, imagine the scenario with the roles reversed:
“This is mine,” she whispered aggressively into his ear, while grabbing his c0ck. “All mine. Do you understand?”
She gazed down at him, gauging my reaction, her eyes burning.
“Yes, yours…” he mumbled sheepishly, as he clung onto his comfort sash and awaited her instruction in the area she called her ‘playroom’.
Lol Liz, indeed! Would he clutch to his man purse, too?
Yes! And spin around in a tutu.
Like Tinky Winky. 🙂
Liz is too modest to link but, she wrote a quick review over at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2015/02/17/liz-suffers-that-we-may-not-not-bad-for-a-fake-orgasm-50-shades-review/
@ Fuzzie, I saw and read that! Well done, Liz! I have not read the book or seen the movie myself, but based on the reviews I did see, the fact it did so well despite being apparently so poorly done speaks even more to there being more to it than meets the eye. Most likely it will come and go without much examination, but really it is interesting to me how much of the red pill stuff this confirms!
One of the things that came to light in the comments was that the characterization of Anastasia was deliberately vague so that any female spectator could easily see herself in the lead role. That she, an average girl, could arouse infatuation with the top tenth of the top one percentile of men. How likely is that to happen?
@ Fuzzie, about as likely as Cinderella. But it’s a common trope in female literature, the average lass who rises above her humble beginnings. Aka hypergamy.
You’re right, the runaway success of fifty shades of grey isn’t surprising when you look at it from a red pill perspective. Hell, even a brief look into erotica circles will show you how out of touch the blue pill/feminist view of female sexuality is. Go to a site like literotica, a good chunk of the non consent stories there are written by women. I’m not trying to say that women secretly desire to be raped but it seems clear to me that they don’t mind an ego stroking fantasy about a dominant and aggressive man finding them so attractive that he loses control and has to “take” her then and there.
Anyway, I think western society would be a lot less screwed up if feminists didn’t shame women for getting off from male dominance.
@ slacker agreed, obviously actual rape isn’t erotic and I get that is not what you are saying by any means. But yes, it’s true rape fantasy is pretty prevalent in erotica written for women or written by women. So there must be some there-there.
I think all reasonable adults agree, abuse is not sexy. So I am not saying it is, least anyone reading along misunderstand.
But I am agreeing with you for sure that women are shamed for feeling attracted/excited by male dominance, and men are also being shamed into thinking any hint of acting masculine or dominant is “wrong” too.
This movie, however poorly acted/written/scripted/etc., IMHO shows obviously there is something primal to the Dom/sub dynamic between men and women…and based on the number of sales, something many more people desire than are aware of or admitting to.
I say let’s being back being male and female! Make being man and woman less taboo, so it doesn’t have to be considered kinky to do what comes natural. But I know, I know… that’s so “sexist” of me!
Redpillgirlnotes,
i know that you are trying to see this from a positive angle but, something Liz said has been rattling around for a while. The only male attendees at the showing were “dates”
This has set off my suspicion radar. All too often , men are expected to just “know” or “”just get it”. What we have to “get” involves mind reading and is situation dependent. It could be one thing one moment and the complete opposite the next. .
@ fuzzie agreed, I suspect many of those women hope their dates will take the info from the movie and run with it in a of level way, but they are too hesitant to say so. Talking about these things can be difficult, especially when people are taught we should all “just get it.”
@ fuzzie to clarify by pg version I mean “50 shades lite” I suspect most of these women are not secretly hoping or ready for the level of Dom/sub the book/movie portrays. Or they want the “let’s play pretend” version, not all the time, every time, secret red dungeon room version.
Liz,
In casr you didn’t see this at Spawny’s. More flying animals for everyone!
It’s like the fact that almost every “feminist” I know has an actual, admitted rape fantasy. It’s like the things modern, 3rd wave feminist or influenced women say they don’t like or hate are actually their secret fantasies. Which makes little sense, but I guess it wouldn’t be “right” for a woman to confess to a rape fantasy or a desire to be owned. So they have it on their minds, feel bad about it and then have to go on and on about how awful it is, because it’s on their minds but they can’t say why.
Chicks want to.be overwhelmed, swept off their feet and carried away in the moment; one of the blue poll’s central tenant is women want to take it slow….and they do unless you can overwhelm them, sweep them of their feet and carry them away in that moment of physical and emotional drama(drama used in its original meaning)
Feminist and most other women who wouldn’t call themselves femisinst are conflicted between their indoctrination and their vagina. Not unlike blue balls errr….pill men
@sswife, yes I do think things have gone so far that it’s become taboo to be feminine or masculine and then that creates a whole other set of fetish behavior as a result. In America I see this a lot. Nudity. Sex. Etc. is a much bigger “deal” than in Europe, according to friends from England who live here and say there is nudity in commercials or the newspaper and it’s not a big deal. Vs America no way there is nudity on tv or in the paper because “nudity is bad/wrong” and tHen it’s like “OMG LOOK!!! Boobs!” And people freak out but at the same time Americans are secretly and overly obsessed with boobs (or whatever taboo/forbidden thing). The Puritan settler influence is still alive and well! It is behind much American weirdness, IMHO.
Lol likely true scfton, it’s sort of caveman game 101, is it not? Probably something very primal and ancient hard wired about all that. But it’s “not civilized” so nobody wants to admit the pink elephant in the room!
Who wants to be civilized? I’m sure a little bit is ok outcome then that destroys the soul
@scfton yes, probably best to have a civilized veneer but not actually drink the kool aid!
“Between 30 and 60 percent of women reported frequently having what’s been termed “rape fantasies,” and many of the women who described their own daydreams were also disturbed. “If I truly believed in women’s equality with men,” said one, “then I’d have to have sex and imagine sex that reflected that — no domination, no rape fantasies. One result was that I married a nice liberal man who shared my convictions on how sex should be. Seven years later we divorced.””
http://nypost.com/2013/05/12/author-uncovers-surprising-secrets-of-female-sexuality-including-monogamy-and-fantasies/
Ton, I’m highly experienced in the feminist realm. They want the same thing every other woman does, only they don’t want you to publicly broadcast it. Because getting slammed is so un-PC etc. I’m sure you’ve observed this with your NGO girls. It’s just our generation’s version of “A gentlemen never talks.”
“One result was that I married a nice liberal man who shared my convictions on how sex should be. Seven years later we divorced.”
The truth she didn’t add: “…the divorce was five years after essentially giving up all sexual relations with each other.”
Yea BV a thinking man would wonder how you have maintained your sanity while dealing with so many of the high level SIW types but then it dawned on me your brain is frozen solid from living up there in the arctic circle for so long
The cold does wonders in regard to keeping the riffraff out, Ton.
More seriously, I enjoy winter more than summer. I’m thinking of getting a tailwheel plane and putting skis on it. Summer I’d swap them out for floats.
Liz, women (and men, I suppose) do a remarkable number on themselves, now that the personal is so political. I was actually berated online the other day because I laughed at a SIW who was declaiming how sexy it was to have a husband who did the housework for her, as some sort of foreplay/warmup. I suppose she could have been telling the truth, is some sort of femme dom, and gets wet watching her castrato serve her. But I suspect she’s really arguing with herself, and her stridency reflected a moribund relationship.
@ bv I can’t imagine a book or movie about a female CEO who gets out of her mind turned on by watching her hubby vacuum or do dishes (ooooh baby!) selling nearly so well, can you? 😉
No, Bloom, I can’t either. I do know a class of women, though, who have contempt for their husbands. These are the suburban UMC types who have the most durable marriages today: they don’t divorce much. A lot of them browbeat and manage their puppy dog husbands and sustain feminist marriages in which lists are kept and resentments fuel clock-watching when it comes to sharing chores. Certainly I inhabited a situation like that when my ex- was trying to get me to jump ship on a 20-year marriage.
@ bv I know marriages like that too. What a wretched way to live. No thanks! Reminds me of a couple I know, they both brag about their 30 years of suffering in their clearly unhappy like its some merit badge. I asked them on e why they didnt just divorce? (They did not like that much, I did not go e them proper martyr respect) a lifetime of small misery? Screw that. I am sorry you experienced similar to that bv but in a way I am glad you are free of it. What’s your ex doing now?
Stop quoting the Bible with that “Let those who have ears hear.” you evil Jezebel anti-Christ Satanic whore.
What can we learn from 50 Shades?
That the Pick Up Artist community is manifesting in technique what the women are afraid to say out loud (ask for) and what social conditioning shames us from enjoying.
From what little description of 50 Shades I read here it sounds like his sexual technique is just a zealous form of teasing/denial. I rather doubt it rises to the full level of D/s.
I don’t actually like soft women, well, depending on how you define soft. If you mean someone who is sweet and a good listener, then yes, I like soft women. But it’s a turn off when a girl is afraid of walking through a state park without a copious amount of bug spray and a plethora of questions regarding bears and spiders. I also find it a turn on when girls drive fast and are adventurous.
True Ben, I agree girls who freak out at bugs are a bit much. 🙂 I get what you mean, I didn’t mean soft as in plus sized or soft as in helpless, I meant sweet and kind, pleasant.
I have a friend, a city girl, who is even terrified of lady bugs! Lady bugs?!?! But I live in the country so bugs and spiders and such are just part of life for me. I’ll take them over cockroaches anyday! (Cockroaches don’t freak her out, go figure!)
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