Have you ever wondered what a “normal” relationship looks like? If so, this video is well worth listening to. (Yes, this video is aimed toward men but really the advice and concepts are universal.)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KNPANO_2VMA
Notice it’s not a no conflict relationship, or a one sided one, but one with two grown up adults working through the problems as the arise and they will, repeatedly. (Yes it is just that simple and just that complex.)
Well worth a listen… Let me know what you think after!
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It has een a while since I saw that instalment. Wha would be coniddered normal and healthy is so our cuture. The other intallments deal with having a BPD partner. It’s as if that is e new paradigm.
Back to the cave to scratch my head.
@ fuzzie yes it is unnerving that the idea of “normal” is now anything but normal (in the typical sense.) I really do think somehow our culture has set people up to think all good, all the time equals normal and that (workable) bumps in the road equal move on. Of course there are some times it is not workable, recognizing this is key too. It can be hard to discern in this cray cray culture, how much is too much? What is workable? . I am still figuring it out myself. One thing I do know, it takes two trying and caring. If that’s not the minimum, one can work as hard as they possibly can and still it will not be enough. Recognizing when you are the only one in the boat rowing is something I am getting hip to. It doesn’t work.
This guy sounded reasonable until he said every relationship has conflict. That’s not a logical statement. I’m sure MOST relationships have conflict, but some subset of people must be similar enough that there is very little or none at all. In general, I stop listening to people when they make absolute statements (especially pessimistic ones).
— A common example of this behavior is that old saying that once you get out of high school, you’ll find that life is hard. Well, some people actually get good jobs and enjoy their lives, so I know that’s not true. —
I hate it when people try to project their own problems with life onto other people. Life is an adventure, and I’d rather find my own way. If all we did was take advice from other people, there would be no point in ever doing anything, because it’s all been done before anyway. The learning process is the reason.
Love is survival. The reason why modern relationships fail is because people have become detached form the basic need to survive. They’ve become vain, lost their sense of purpose.
Now these “red pill” men think they can save the world by finding girls who pretend to be submissive, when there is no logical reason behind it. It’s just more vanity, and vanity will ultimately crumble, like caked-on makeup.
Hi Matthew, thanks for commenting. I have not been sure what to respond to some of your posts. What is it about the red pill that bothers you? There are parts of it that bother me, too, it’s not exactly a single philosophy but some of it makes sense to me. I welcome alternate viewpoints and discussion as long as it is productive and not antagonistic, let’s discuss!
Maybe I should clarify. Between Paul elam and Tara Palmatier, what they described as “normal” would be the exceptio. Perhaps they are so used to dealing with the impossible.
Bloom you are a special person!
❤ from me xxxooo
Great to see you, Molly! 🙂
Hi Molls.
I don’t think ‘normal’ really matters all that much.