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In today’s male/female romantic relations, total openness, honesty, and transparency are encouraged. And when it comes to some things, I would agree.

But I would also argue that I have made the mistake in the past of not preserving a little bit of mystery — not sharing my each and every feeling, thought, or memory.

I believe in days gone by, women knew this was a key aspect of femininity, and that it created attraction.

I am not talking about being deceptive, dishonest, or deceitful. I am referring to smaller things, like shutting the bathroom door when applying makeup, or dressing, or not wearing the scary mud mask while he’s around.

“Let me slip into something more comfortable,” is an example of preserving a little mystery, disappearing, then reappearing looking like an alluring package to unwrap. Versus just unceremoniously dropping your clothes to the floor, with an “there’s nothing we haven’t all seen before, here” attitude.

Even a change of hair color, style, wearing something different than your usual style, all these things can bring freshness into a long term relationship. Much better than not caring and just letting oneself go.

I guess another way to put it is be enchanting. Advocates of game say the male needs to continue with his seduction techniques even into marriage, and I would argue women should work as well by remaining a bit mysterious, being enchanting herself.

It’s the yin and the yang. As much as we drive each other crazy at times, men and women still can’t seem to leave each other alone. Why? I believe it’s our differences that draw us to each other, so this whole trend toward being androgynous would seem to have the opposite effect.

Don’t believe me? Wear a dress or skirt instead of pants, jeans, or slacks one day. See how many men notice. I have even had men stop and say to me how refreshing it is to see a woman dressed in a skirt or dress these days, like a woman!

What do you think? Does intimacy have to mean letting it all hang out? Or does letting it all hang out kill attraction?

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