As I have mentioned previously, I often see women (mis)treating their loyal and loving husbands with less than the same. It puzzles me why women would do this, as it seems like it is keen on destroying the very foundation their relationship rests upon.
At another Red Pill site, there’s been an interesting discussion on why women might treat their man with contempt, and what can be done about it. (It is my theory that men can also treat their partner with contempt, and that’s not ok either.)
The theory that was floated is this: that research has shown this dynamic leads to many a divorce:
“In the original research, the four observed predictors of divorce were
1. Wife showing contempt during conflict with the husband
2. Husband and wife being defensive
3. Wife complaining, husband stonewalling (Demand/withdraw pattern)
4. Wife emotionally detached
Gottman, J.M., (1991). Predicting the longitudinal course of marriages, Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 17 (1), 3-7.”
The solution, according to the one who floated the theory is for women to resist the urge to show contempt during conflict (re: be nice, fight fair, etc.)
Or if she won’t, the recommendation is for the man to respond by running dread or using bemused mastery (threatening to walk or treating her like a spoiled child.)
In my opinion, contempt is a disastrous attitude to bring into a supposedly loving relationship. Yet time and again I see it acted out, and it truly is a love killer.
So ladies, can women be nice to men? Can women resist the entitled princess act so endorsed by the current culture, and show her man some (gasp) love and respect? As “old fashioned” as it sounds, I’d recommend it!
[And if it isn’t clear I am talking about otherwise “healthy and good” workable relationships, obviously this advice does not apply to relationships involving abuse on either side. In that case, I recommend ending the relationship and exploring through therapy or other means how to recognize and avoid abusive relationships in the future.]
Let those who have ears hear.