Tags
abundance, commitment, love, marriage, red pill, relationships, romance, true love
It’s pretty easy to get jaded about relationships these days. One doesn’t have to look very hard to see examples of good love gone bad all around. But every once in awhile, you see true love does exist.
Or at least I have. Most recently I have spied it as I take my kids to school in the morning. At first, I didn’t pay the couple walking along the side of the road much attention. But one day I noticed a certain oddness to her gait that made me look at them a little closer.
They aren’t exactly elderly, maybe late 50s or early 60s. And it is hard to say what exactly is going on, maybe cancer, maybe early onset of Alzheimer’s, maybe something else but she is clearly very, very ill.
On nice days I see them, out taking a morning walk. He hovers near her with a gentle tenderness and patience, it is clear from his body language he loves this women very much, and that he is cherishing these moments they have together, as imperfect and I am sure challenging that they might be.
For better or for worse. In sickness and in health. For richer or poorer. Forsaking all others. Till death do they part.
This morning, I found myself crying at the sight of those two, once again slowly ambling along. My heart both breaks for them and is also filled with such a profound joy that they have each other, and that they found each other, against all the odds, in this brief moment of time we call life, on this insignificant green and blue ball spinning at 1040 miles per hour and traveling at 67,000 miles per hour around the sun, off to the edge of the Milky Way galaxy.
Yep, sometimes you still see it. And for me at least, when I do, it reminds me of the bigger picture and what this whole experience is really all about. Love. Loving. Being loved. Loving back. In the end, those are the moments that I imagine will matter the most.
Let those who have ears hear.
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
Redpillgirltes,
When I feel good, I know that I am surrounded by love.
And if you could wind back the clock 20 or so years, you’d probably see her doing the same for him.
Washing his clothes. Cooking his meals. Drawing a bath for him. Scratching his back before he falls asleep. Taking the kids to school. Helping the kids with homework. Packing a lunch for him for work the next day. Working a job to make ends meet.
Day in, day out. Year in, year out.
He’s giving back to her what she gave him.
You are a romantic at heart. ❤
Love??? You think that’s what the “red pill” is about???
There’s a lot of racism and outright hatred of women in modern men who oppose feminism. So, if you really believe in love, you might want to distance yourself from those monsters. Complaining about “false” rape accusations (the way they do) is not love, as it shows no concern for what another person might be feeling.
Using girls for casual sex and then abandoning them so you can prove how much of an “alpha male” you are IS NOT LOVE!!!
The “red pill” movement is no different from feminism: a bunch of arrogant people who think they can fix all the problems in the world by using one gender as a scapegoat. The “red pill” blames women. Feminists blame men.
I see wrong on both sides. All of these people are so selfish:
http://agalltyr.wordpress.com/2014/04/30/arrogant-sluts-vs-arrogant-rapists/
But what’s really sick is “red pill” woman, because she blames her own gender and then thinks these abusive men, these villains, are going to be her heroes. That’s some serious Stockholm Syndrome, like you’re a brainwashed cult member.
— Recently, I got banned for trying to explain over at Heartiste that cheating on your wife is a lousy way to demonstrate your male dominance (how “alpha” you are). I suggested instead to let your wife cook for you. That way, she has a choice. You’re still taking her feelings into account. Maybe that’s how she wants to demonstrate her love for you (or maybe not), but it’s certainly not the same as abandoning her as you run off with another woman. I’m really not into the “equality” delusion, but I am looking at both sides of the gender war for the 60/40 compromise point. —
He doesn’t ban, really…only places you in the naughty queue. It’s been a while but every once in a while I post anonymously there (only quips, when the mood strikes).
I was put in the holding pen for being a smart@ss.
Five words.
There was a picture of some guy dancing while texting with his cell over her shoulder. This was supposed to be “alpha”, I guess.
I asked, “what if he’s taking a selfie?” (okay, six words)
Love that bear video, Fuzzie! 🙂
I like seeing stuff like that too, Bloom. I do wish it wasn’t so rare.
Beautifully-written piece, Bloom!
@ Deti that is likely very true.
@ Matthew, it’s important to remember the “red pill” is not a single philosophy. There are many facets to it. Yes, there is the crowd that thinks, “Hey, enjoy the fall, feast while you can, embrace the decadence.” There are some who are racist and there are some who clearly are very bitter and angry toward women, also true. But not all are. There’s a portion of the “red pill” thinkers who are I guess for lack of a better term, traditionalists and also usually religious minded. This group does not endorse casual sex, divorce, or serial monogamy. I would consider myself in that group. I believe strongly in love and marriage and family. It’s good to keep in mind that one voice of the red pill does not necessarily endorse another, all this is kind of theory rather than fact too, for me it’s more about exploring the topics, hearing everyone’s take and point of view as a way to explore my own beliefs. In short, the red pill means questioning everything, especially widely held beliefs like feminism or other ism’s.
@ Matthew I would agree with you that cheating on your wife is not the solution. Heartiste is perhaps one of the more radical voices of the red pill, and I honestly think he dabbles in hyperbole just for the shock factor at times. Rollo at Rational Male, for example, has been married 20+ years and says he has never cheated on his wife. I subscribe to the Captain and Co-Captain model, not the master and slave model, or the men are better than women (or women are better than men) model. Men and women are different, I do believe that. I think it’s a yin and yang thing, we are trying to minimize those differences when actually they are what attract men to women and women to men. I don’t think women are evil, I don’t think men are evil. Are there evil ones of each, yes. But not ALL of them are. But all women are women, all men are men. The red pill often discusses those differences and how they play out in the “battle of the sexes.”
Yeah Liz, he started moderating my comments too. Oh well. His loss! (or gain! Lol.)
Here the misogynists at “Heartiste” explain succinctly the “red pill”:
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/12/24/the-difference-between-game-and-the-red-pill/
… which basically implies that women (I.e. your gender) are inferior, untrustworthy whores who deserve to be used and abused (and then they have the audacity to associate the word “love” with this philosophy, these Satanic liars, these evil wolves in sheep’s clothing that they are). It’s the epitome of sexism, cynicism, and chauvinism.
— Some people say feminism will produce the Antichrist, but I wonder if the “red pill” will be the one. Or maybe both will contribute, as hatred on both sides works against the other to birth a single evil beast. —
Well, I personally think women are better than this and therefore deserve more respect. I believe in you. They don’t.
Which type of man do you prefer?
@ Matthew Like I said, there are extremists. I have never been treated with disrespect or had any problems in my interactions with men on the red pill sites I follow. They have all actually been really nice, respectful, and helpful to bounce my “man questions” off of — kind of like brothers!
The % of people that are able to achieve such relationships depends significantly on the social structure and culture of a place and time. Here is a sad article about the situation in Japan:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/worldviews/wp/2013/10/22/japans-sexual-apathy-is-endangering-the-global-economy/
…it seems that most of these people will never experience the kind of connection you wrote about here.
Here’s an analogy.
I think the “red pill” is to dating what slavery is to business. Sure, you could always treat a girl like garbage, and she’ll put up with it like a good little masochist. Likewise, you could completely subjugate your workers and exploit them to maximize your profits.
Or you could treat girls with respect, like a caring father. Likewise, you could treat your employees with a certain amount of dignity (decent wages, paid vacation, …)
There’s an evil solution and a good solution to many problems in life. I tried to say this on Heartiste and got banned for it, because those monsters are so selfish and insecure. I’ve been banned from so many blogs for challenging their authority (I.e. disagreeing with them). That’s what I do.
Reality is racist
Reality is sexiest
Seeing that truth and dealing with it in a rational manner make one a monster?
MC: “I’ve been banned from so many blogs for challenging their authority (I.e. disagreeing with them). That’s what I do.”
That’s what you do. So…it’s a lifestyle then.
You troll blog sites where you disagree with the participants and actively attempt to make yourself as unwelcome until they ban you?
You must have a lot of free time on your hands.
Here’s Roosh V, another false savior who believes in the “red pill”:
http://www.rooshv.com/american-girls-dont-use-condoms-anymore
This jerk has the audacity to actually blame girls he has casual sex with for the fact that he doesn’t put a condom on his own damned body. The amount of psychological projection and lack of personal responsibility on the part of this guy is just astounding.
If a person came up to you on the street and made the sort of commentary that Roosh makes that really gets you het up, would you even bother to respond?
Would it really ruin your day or would you just go on your way about your business?
So what if he claims he could pork every woman in the US without a condom…who the f*ck cares?
Actually, now that I read that piece I find it fascinating. I’ve only read Roosh a handful of times, and had no idea so many women couldn’t care less about HPV and any manner of other nasty business. I think it’s a good warning to men. Thanks for providing that link. If you hadnt’ I wouldn’t have read it and there are probably a lot of other people who might take an interest.
Liz,
I think that ou took it the way Roosh intended it be taken. It was meant to be a wanrning. From time to time, he does put something out there eye popping. While a lot of us won’t agree with his lifestyle, he may be the best reporter on the SMP out there.
Matthew,
You sound like a glass half empty kind of guy. Maybe a bear video will help.
Matthew, roosh pretty much exemplifies the opposite of what this post describes. He is one of the “enjoy the fall” types. Would I want to date Roosh? No. Do I think his approach to women and sex is good, even for him? No. He has always seemed lonely to me, unhappy. I think more women should read his blog, it seems to me a good warning to not be a girl like that, and to avoid guys like that.
See, I see Roosh and think he’s smart. In this current environment, he sees things pretty clearly… reminds me of my brother. Very cool, very practical… almost to a fault. There is something calculated about him, he isn’t as crazy or cold as the media and European governments try to make him out to be. Is his life-style in any way, Christian? No… Is he harming himself? I don’t know…. Is he at least, staying in control of his life and has an admirable independence. If my brother was to go full Roosh, part of me would be concerned, and then a bigger part of me would be proud of him. In his own journey (he’s succeeded so fast), it’s been wonderful watching the good changes in him. So wonderful.
He’s over at our house right now… being nourished and fed. He told me an hour or so ago that being in our home is like being rejuvenated. If any of you have brothers, create a safe place for them from the world.
One way you can spot a troll is the hysterics in lauange choice
Teaching men to rape? Like how to kidnap then rape? As in lay in wait, ensuring there are no witness, attacking from ambush, rendering defenseless and forcing her sexually? That’s rape and no one I am aware of is teaching that (outside of islam)
Chiglinsky is dangerously close to becoming the next Elliot Rodgers….
It’d a big leap from.blue pill filed white knight/ troll to Elliot Rodgers
Dragonfly,
It’s not normal for frustrated men to turn their anger outwards. What happens, normally, is that they’ll take it out on themselves. To ujnderstand Elliot Rodgers better, I would reccommend this. While it runs two hours, there is a lot more than rejection from his female peers going on.
If you look at the thousands of comments Chiglinsky has left all over the internet leaving a social media footprint, he is absolutely angry at women who reject him – he says in a post somewhere that he is attracted to really pretty women (but thinks he’s been brainwashed by the media to even think they are the ones that are attractive) but ugly women are the only ones attracted to him. And he doesn’t like the ugly ones. So daily he’s rejected by attractive women, meanwhile feeling the incredible pressure of needing sex, incredible guilt and shame he feels having to use porn… but he talks openly of how he can’t masturbate without it… and then there’s the anger issue again with the constant rejection in real life. Add in the hatred of the manosphere (didn’t Elliot Rodgers blame it also?) and the PUA’s advice… it really is leaning more and more to be the same pattern.
In other news… anyone see this about Roosh facing Dr. Oz? See this is why it is really hard to mix your personal life with saying things that will offend the majority of people out there or MSM. Roosh can’t win this one, because it’s completely against what the MSM wants to hear, and yet it’s exactly what they want to hear in order to tune out the manosphere’s other ideas.
http://www.doctoroz.com/episode/dr-oz-faces-notorious-online-fat-shamer-bullying-women-all-over-world
Chiglinsky also has extreme rage and anger against women who dress in even tight clothing… automatically dehumanizing them enough to cyber bully them, and delegating them to be worthy of rape. Maybe it’s all just internet talk and thinking about things like this, but how much talk and dwelling on this kind of stuff ends up leading to actions carried out? I guess that’s the issue for me. Following his online footprint, which is very hard to get erased, is very telling.
I like the video Fuzzie… I like the idea of family knowing what people say online like the man says… i think Chiglinsky’s family (I know their addresses, phone numbers and names) need to know about his blog and comments). I also think that law enforcement would be interested in following him also… at least at the detective level.
Matthew, if you are angry and frustrated, (and its easy to get there in this dating/relationship market if you dwell on the negative factors) please remember that light is stronger than darkness, love is stronger than hate. I pray for a peaceful nonviolent awakening that will lead us past the current situation and onto something much better. The current social experiment is certainly not moving us in the best direction, but I see more and more people waking up to just how empty of a promise all that was. May they find TRUTH and LOVE. Peace!
Interesting link to Dr Oz versus Roosh, Dragonflygirl.
I hadn’t heard of that…airs tomorrow, apparently.
Bunch of fat women yelling about how and why they are victims due to their own eating habits. Not sure I could stomach that one (pun intended).
Doesn’t sound like much fun for Roosh.
Talk about a tough audience.
I suppose it will give him some more material.
Hi Dragonfly, if so I am glad Matthew is asking for clarification about the red pill and what it means. I think a lot of people get confused and think it is a single philosophy, or that for example Roosh or Heartiste’s views represent the views of all, which is certainly not the case. There’s a lot of diversity, from very traditional minded religious people who would like to see things go back to how there were before the sexual revolution (pro marriage, pro monogamy) etc. as well as those who are PUAs and even men who have decided they don’t want to take the risk of a relationship/marriage and avoid women (mtgow, or men who go their own way.) There are a lot of people who are red pill who care deeply about these problems and issues in marriage/relationships, and who are trying to be constructive in coming up with ideas and solutions. That’s the area I like to focus in — not getting stuck in what is, but understanding it so that I can make good relationship choices for myself and others based on how things actually are and work, not how they should or supposedly are or I wished they work (blue pill thinking.) As long as Matthew is not abusive to others, discusses these things in a constructive way, adds to the discussion rather than derails it, he’s welcome here. Let’s discuss! Let’s share ideas. Let’s share experiences. It’s all about learning. We are not enemies/opponants here. 🙂
Drgonfly,
Rejection is a sore point for guys. Roosh had a post a while back that demonstrated graphically through the use of pictures of crowds how much men are expected to take. Actually, it was written from the standpont of how much a woman could dish out. I wish that I could find it again. When you factor in online dating its a whole order of magnitude more.
In response to this, I don’t think men are turning to hate and violence. I think that they are throwing in the towel. They know that something is wrong and theysure it’s not them.
@ Dragonfly:
I like what you said about your relationship with your brother. I wish my relationship with my sister was like that. Glad to virtually meet you. I’ve seen your moniker around for a while.
@ RPC:
Today is my birthday. Would you like to come over and make me some of those samwiches? I’ll share what you make with you.
You two chicks are cool with me.
@ Matt: Get over the anger you project on others. Get an outlet for that hostility. Nothing wrong with feeling anger in this crazy world. One would have to be mentally null to not feel anger at times. But it is not cool to project the anger at others. I love to work out. I also read and pray and father my son. Another thing I do is make brilliant, extremely funny comments on blogs. The manosphere ladies wait up at night with baited breath in anticipation of my next comment.
I’m sorry, Bloom, you are much sweeter than I am.
That’s good he hasn’t been abusive on your site… he’s been banned at Roissy’s site, my site (for brutal name-calling and attacks all over my blog posts, which is what prompted me to look into who he was), and he admits he’s been banned at other sites as well… but he calls it merely “disagreeing.” He’s been banned at many sites for a valid reason. He’s not looking to discuss ideas here (at least, not in a normal way I think), sorry to be offended at seeing his idiotic remarks about feeling like raping women….
Happy birthday, Poseidon!!
🙂
Personally I reckon there are two schools of thought
Rollo and Heartiste’s ie reality
Those who deny reality
FuzzieWuzzie says “it’s not normal for frustrated men to turn their anger outwards.”
I think this is very cultural…varies greatly from country to country…and from family to family.
On the whole, it’s probably true that men in general are more likely to repress their angry reactions versus expressing them verbally than are women…mostly because over the span of history and pre-history, verbal aggression by a man toward another man was quite likely to lead to life-threatening violence. Still, I think the cultural differences are huge.
David Foster
Happy (belated?) birthday Poseidon! Sure, I’d be happy to share some birthday samwiches with you! In fact let’s make it a party!!! (Wheels in a cart stacked a mile high with samwiches of all sorts, and cupcakes in a nautical theme, of course!) Everyone, join in! (Puts a birthday boy hat on Poseidon and honks at him with one of those party horns, then tops that off with a stream of bubbles from a bubble machine!)
All together now…HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Poseidon, happy birthday to you — and many more!
No worries Dragonfly, the first few comments here by Matthew were pretty confrontational, too, but I think we are getting on now. (Yes, Matthew?)
I tried to watch Dr Oz’s interview with Roosh online…don’t think I saw the whole thing because it was only three and a half minutes long.
From what I saw, Roosh came across really well. A lot better than Oz who claimed to have no preference between a 300 pound woman and 125 pound woman. I’ve never watched Oz, so I don’t know how he typically presents himself, but he also used very sheepish body language and crossed his legs like a girl. He accused Roosh of hiding behind his computer, which I thought an odd thing for a very famous, comparatively safe and coddled person with a profit incentive of his own, to accuse Roosh of.
Roosh weighs in on his experience with Dr. Oz in this post.
http://www.rooshv.com/how-i-was-backstabbed-by-dr-oz-and-his-female-producers
I wonder if he’ll ever appear on TV again.
It’ll probably help him generate traffic, Fuzzie.
It really doesn’t matter if a bunch of fatties yell at him about their (oh so deeply hidden, by the look and sound of things) “inner beauty”.
They’re offended, but that doesn’t make them right.
It’s a thing of parody, really….Oz claims outside appearance doesn’t matter while cashing in by peddling all sorts of anti-aging miracle products out of the other side of his mouth.
Liz,
That is kind of humorous. Rossh sells his books which would be of no use to the aforementioned fatties. They’re not going to be too interested in picking up girls in Eastern Europe. However, the reverse is true. I have it on good authority that there are PUA schools operating in the Ukraine. Their students are women.That’s what an 86/100 male to female ratio will do to the SMP/MMP.
That’s true Liz, I don’t know any doctor that could say being obese is not a major health threat and cause and/or causes complications for many major health problems today. Not that it makes it ok to randomly heckle fat people, but it sounds like that was what Roosh wanted to say (a known truth “fat acceptance” folks don’t want to admit) but sounds like never got the chance.
Put another way, Type 2 diabetes is common and predicted to only increase in years to come, with up to 6 out of 10 people having it eventually. That still doesn’t make it “normal” or “healthy” or “attractive” or “a non issue” to have type 2 diabetes.
And, like obesity, it is mostly self induced and largely completely preventable. True, some people gain weight easier than others, but that doesn’t mean they should give in/give up, it means they have to manage it more. Just like someone at high genetic risk of cancer has to be more vigilant and maybe take steps they wouldn’t have to without the risk. That doesn’t mean they should just “give up” and think cancer in inevitable, why bother? (And I am preaching to the choir, I know.)
Should we be mean to fat people, IMHO no. Should we be so accepting of obesity that it becomes taboo to say it is unhealthy or that people shouldn’t do what they can to prevent/manage it? That seems the same as telling women with the breast cancer gene that it’s ok, don’t worry about it…mammograms, shamograms. Cancer is the new black! (Squee!)
“Put another way, Type 2 diabetes is common and predicted to only increase in years to come, with up to 6 out of 10 people having it eventually. That still doesn’t make it “normal” or “healthy” or “attractive” or “a non issue” to have type 2 diabetes.
And, like obesity, it is mostly self induced and largely completely preventable. True, some people gain weight easier than others, but that doesn’t mean they should give in/give up, it means they have to manage it more. Just like someone at high genetic risk of cancer has to be more vigilant and maybe take steps they wouldn’t have to without the risk. That doesn’t mean they should just “give up” and think cancer in inevitable, why bother? (And I am preaching to the choir, I know.)”
I didn’t see this until now Bloom.
Yeah. It’s funny but the medical community in large part, too, has come to accept obesity. Nurses (many of whom are hugely fat too) will treat a substance abuser/alcoholic badly, as though that person is a lower life-form…but it doesn’t dawn on them that obese people have substance abuse problems of their own.
I try to treat everyone well. I understand (at least, as well as I can understand any other substance abuse problem) how a person could eat themselves into an early grave. Sometimes it still startles me though. A few years back I had a patient who looked about fifty. She was huge, and a double-amputee due to type II diabetes. She’d literally eaten herself into losing her legs. And she was a complete cunt…she had some sort of learned helplessness and refused to do anything herself. It was really, really sad. But the most shocking thing was….she was in her MID THIRTIES. About twenty years younger than I would have guessed. She’s probably dead now.
Just thinking further, I believe the best thing Roosh could do in this situation is create some sort of parody skit on the Dr Oz interview. A short one, but a funny one. It almost writes itself with Dr Oz claiming to find fat women fascinating. There’s a lot of good material there.
Unfortunately, levity is pretty rare in sphere (outside of schadenfreude).
Per the topic, I was just thinking about this a few days ago. My husband and I have become so connected through the years there’s a sort of psych link. I know that sounds hokey but it has worked far too many times for me to dismiss as coincidental. Not big things, small things. The author of the book ‘Blink’ would explain a lot of the phenomenon as a sort of extension of shared experiences and memory.
For example, a song might come up and I say, “I wonder how Tank is doing these days?” And my husband would say, “That’s so strange…I was just thinking about Tank.” But the real explanation would be the song brought to mind some sort of connection to our friend Tank, though we didn’t realize it. It’s also true of smells and so forth. We finish each others sentences/state thoughts before the other has said anything/anticipate needs before they are expressed…that’s all wonderful but it can be explained. What cannot be explained is the long-distance stuff. We text each other at the same time…sometimes many hours go by and I get the urge to take out the phone and as I’m writing a message from him will pop up. This happens all of the time. Or I’ll pick up the phone and he’s on the line….I picked it up to call him simultaneously. On tuesday, I was at Panera with our oldest son and I looked at a plate of brownies and they looked exactly like the kind Mike would love. I pointed and said, “those have Daddy written all over them. If he was home I’d buy one”. The next day Mike called and said he’d just bought his second brownie….he’d been craving them. Bought the first one the day I saw that plate of brownies (I never told him about the brownies until then).