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Notes From a Red Pill Girl

~ A site for women interested in a red pill perspective (where men are welcome too!)

Notes From a Red Pill Girl

Monthly Archives: July 2015

Know Why You Are Dating

23 Thursday Jul 2015

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 38 Comments

Tags

attraction, bad boys, battle of the sexes, casual sex, celibacy, commitment, courtship, dating, marriage, red pill, relationships

Do you know why you are dating? It seems like a simple question, but surprisingly it’s not.

Let me explain. At one time people dated as a way to meet their future spouse. Dates were focused more on establishing if it was a match than on the activity. Dating was supervised and approved of by a girl’s family members.

Today there is an aimlessness to dating, as if it is an endless exploration with no real goal or objective. People avoid topics like commitment or marriage because they don’t want to “spoil the mood.”

Often, sexual intimacy proceeds commitment or attachment as well, if there is any discussion of a relationship at all. It’s entirely backwards from how things worked in the past when sex came after attachment and commitment rather than before. Sometimes sex is used as a type of tool by women, in hopes sex will lead to attachment or commitment.

It would be wise for women today to approach dating more like it was done in the past. To view it as a way to find one’s life mate and to sort accordingly rather quickly, rather than to date aimlessly and/or haphazardly just for the “fun” of it. Don’t make the mistake of spending time with Mr. Wrong(s) in place of seeking Mr. Right.

If you aren’t ready for or wanting marriage, consider not dating at all and spend the time and energy on other pursuits rather than dating for dating sake.

What do you think?

Beware Self-Imposed Drama

21 Tuesday Jul 2015

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Red Pill

≈ 33 Comments

Tags

alpha male, attraction, bad boys, battle of the sexes, beauty, beta, blue pill, break up, break ups, casual sex, commitment, crisis, dating, divorce, drama

As I listened to my former neighbor describe her continually messed up love life, it suddenly occurred to me how she was really the one creating all this angst.

Now if you asked her, she’d swear up and down that she’s the victim here, “they” are doing all this to her.

For a long time I bought it too. After all she’s so convincing in her blameless tales of woe. I used to empathize with her bad luck. But post red pill awareness, it’s abundantly clear that she’s an active participant in creating all of her troubles.

For example if ever there has been a plate spinner, it’s her. She’s always got two or three guys she “can’t decide between” on the line, then rotates in a few random encounters here and there to boot.

Naturally, the men in these tales are not so into that, and drama ensues. Oddly (or according to the red pill maybe not oddly at all) the only one who she has it bad for is the one who blows her off and who seems to care less what she’s doing as long as she’s available when he wants her. Which is about every three months.

I hate to say it but she pretty much confirms almost every red pill cliche in the book: AF/BB, opportunistic love, bad boys over good guys, etc.

How does she get away with it? Well for now she’s still young(ish) and very attractive. I fear someday she will be the 50-some lady sitting at the bar wondering where have all the good men gone?

And if that happens, I suppose she’ll have nobody but herself and her disastrous self-sabotaging choices to blame.

Or maybe by then she’ll be reaping the seeds she’s planted when her own two daughters she’s dragged along for the ride become teens and start creating self-imposed drama themselves? I sure hope not.

Lately when she starts talking about all her troubles, I have been dropping in tidbits of red pill wisdom. She actually latches on to these little nuggets, surprisingly, and is quite interested. Which leads me to believe she’s really not that conscious of the self-destructive, no-win cycle she is creating, or how to break out of it. Hopefully in time that light will click on. In the meantime, she seems to be giving the Kardashian’s a run for their money in the drama department.

Here’s an idea: When tempted to indulge in something you know you should not, try asking yourself my go-to drama busting question, “Isn’t my life already complicated enough?” Chances are it is, all on its own. No additional drama necessary!

Let those who have ears hear.

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