Tags
attraction, bad boys, battle of the sexes, casual sex, celibacy, commitment, courtship, dating, marriage, red pill, relationships
Do you know why you are dating? It seems like a simple question, but surprisingly it’s not.
Let me explain. At one time people dated as a way to meet their future spouse. Dates were focused more on establishing if it was a match than on the activity. Dating was supervised and approved of by a girl’s family members.
Today there is an aimlessness to dating, as if it is an endless exploration with no real goal or objective. People avoid topics like commitment or marriage because they don’t want to “spoil the mood.”
Often, sexual intimacy proceeds commitment or attachment as well, if there is any discussion of a relationship at all. It’s entirely backwards from how things worked in the past when sex came after attachment and commitment rather than before. Sometimes sex is used as a type of tool by women, in hopes sex will lead to attachment or commitment.
It would be wise for women today to approach dating more like it was done in the past. To view it as a way to find one’s life mate and to sort accordingly rather quickly, rather than to date aimlessly and/or haphazardly just for the “fun” of it. Don’t make the mistake of spending time with Mr. Wrong(s) in place of seeking Mr. Right.
If you aren’t ready for or wanting marriage, consider not dating at all and spend the time and energy on other pursuits rather than dating for dating sake.
What do you think?
Aim to find a good man and then keep him one should endeavour to.
Dating for “fun only” exploitive it would seem.
A good approach here it is,
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2015/07/23/wisdom-of-the-ages-2/
Why dating? Because marriage is a nor do show
The horse escaped the barn with oral contraceptives. When sex had serious consequences, it came last. Now with merely the concern for STDs and no stigma for children born out of wedlock, sex comes first.
What marginal vetting that is done in the first three dates (if even that many) is just to check for compatibility and psychopathy.
Should read horror show
Fair certain DV laws did more harm than birth control
Oh and inflation etc making the dollar, pound etc worthless
Eccentric, I would agree that oral contraceptives indeed changed the game, but for the better?
@ Ton, what’s a nor do show? I had a feeling this article would not be so popular with you. But is it not what you would advise your daughter (who is married, yes?)
What marginal vetting that is done in the first three dates (if even that many) is just to check for compatibility and psychopathy
Check for or against psychopathy one does?
Life more exciting with psychopathy it would be.
How so, Ton?
On psychopathy, some might consider having sex with virtual strangers a sign of psychopathy, at least from a female side of things? From tales I hear via male friends who are online dating, it’s to the point where girls are sending naked selfies before they have even met in person! That seems like a sure sign of cray-cray to me!
But of course, the naked photos seem to get them dates so… I don’t know. Then it becomes this thing where gals who don’t have sex wi 3 dates or send naked pics right away get weeded out, when really I would think from a marriage point of view those would be the ones a guy would want, not the harlots. Dating just seems like a train wreck these days.
Not to mention now it’s not even called dating anymore in the next generation, it’s just “hooking up.”
All women are cray cray. It’s only a matter of degree
Well the advantages in marriage are for women, risk and liabilities but mostly advantages so I wanted daughter to marry and she did. Marriage is a low return on investment high risk, high liability for men, so I do not want my son to marry.
How is marriage not a horror show for most men? Do we really need to list all the statistics about marriage on a blog written by a woman is well read in the man o sphere?
Most men do not want marriage. We want sex etc & most men now know marriage is where sex etc goes to die. So your thing about those are the kind of women men should want to marry is a fem-centric point of view.
Redpillgirlnotes,
I had an OkCupid friend that went the “naked selfie” route. It didn’t help. There’s a lot going on here and most of it is going to feeding hypergamy. It can’t last and I am surprised it hasn’t crashed yet. Ninety percent of guys who sign up for online dating are gone after three months.
Another point about dating. It seems that every two years there is a story out of NYC about a girl that never buys food for herself. She just goes on dates.
Are you like me and tired of being confused by all this?
As for online dating and hypergamy,. Sure, a gal can date out of her league with online dating. The problem is that it won’t stick.
Fair enough Ton 😉 And yes, this post is aimed at women. I agree, the advice to men might be entirely different.
I still disagree that men should want to marry the naked selfie jump right into bed types, that seems high risk to me! But maybe there is a reason I am single…sigh. Born 100 years too late!
@ Fuzzie, I am tired of all this, yes indeed. I am not confused though, even if my method goes against the popular route. I figure by putting my marriage minded ways right out there, it sets the tone. Guys who are not marriage minded move along, saving us all a lot of time and trouble. It’s my vetting tool.
@ Ton I would agree all women be cray-cray to some degree, simply because of the hormones jacking our brain all the time, but I think to what degree does make a difference! 🙂
@ Ton do you desire for your son to have children? If so, I don’t see how not being married offers any protection there but maybe you can enlighten me? I suppose in that case a gal may leave and get child support but wouldn’t get half of the man’s assets, too?
Redpillgirlnotes,
We’re all tired of it. Ton did bring up a valid point. There are enough advantages to marriage to counsel his daughter in favor of it. The disadvantages to men are bad enough to counsel his son against it, patrilineal grandchildren considered.
There is soething profound in that last statement. It may be a goal ofeminism to destro patrilineal descent..
@ Fuzzie that may be but how on earth would that be in women’s best interest? If feminism and the accompanying social and legal changes takes marriage off the table, women (and children) would be hurt by that the most!
Redpillgirlnotes,
Feminists are ideologues first. The only thing that they hate more than marriage is men. However, they have been very sucessful in persuading women to see things their way.
They would point to your life as an example of their philosophy.
All this, while you know that something is missing.
Fuzzie, more than once other women have wanted me to live the life of the token “single independent woman” so they can have warm fuzzies and tell themselves it’s working! Many of these same women discourage me from dating or seeking marriage. Meanwhile they themselves enjoy a cushy and well funded life thanks to the man in their own life! I have started to point out to these women how much easier their own lives are thanks to their man, why would they not want the same for me? It’s interesting to see them connect those dots! And frankly I am not going to be feminism’s sacrificial lamb if I can help it! No thanks!
Going to break this down for you, quick and dirty
100 years ago you would still be under your 1st husbands roof, or shunned as a harlot.
In NC, unmarried fathers pay no alimony, don’t divide their assets, don’t have to offer up half their retirement, 401k etc, pay less in child support and the courts do more to enforce visitation. All advantages go to unmarried fathers.
Who has said men should marry chicks who send nekkid selfies? Not seen anyone make that case in these parts, but let’s dig into it
#1) if a man is fucked in the head enough to marry he is pretty much gonna have to marry a girl who sent nekkid selfies
#2) men these days tend to understand the alpha fucks/ beta bucks at a visceral level and don’t want to be beta bucks. It’s a cock slap to their face. Nekkid selfies give him the illusion he is not beta bucks. He doesn’t have to be apex alpha but he gets to con himself into thinking he is alpha-ish. For a short while. Even for dudes 5 mins of alpha is better then 15 years of beta
#3) men are only rational, cause and effect understanding long term planners compared to women.
#4) betas are thirsty. Read that like a dozen times. Women don’t get the thirst but do your best
#5) doubt many men plan on marrying nekkid selfie sending chicks; they get hooked on sex on the regular because they are beta and fall into the marriage trap.
#)6 perhaps they think marrying a slut means sex won’t be shut off during marriage.
Mostly this block stems from you being a girl. Good looking one at that, but still just a girl and severely limited in your capacity to understand men.
The entirety of progressivism is about destroying middle class and lower class Whites; replacing us with more docile and collectivist minded third worlders who don’t pose a threat to anyone’s economic position/ status go give the upper 1% more power and more wealth, using the UMC as a managerial/ bureaucrat class, keeping the UMC in check with the threat of removing protection from feral negros/ loss of status and economic posistion. It has nothing to do with any of the bullshit leftist spew. The ones doing the spewing are useful idiots but it’s pure bullshit.
Bloom they don’t want you to date etc because you are their competition/ threat. They don’t give a fuck about you, your well being or the well being of your hatchlings.
I promise you darling, me with my cursing and blunt words give more of a fuck then your gal pals.
Redpillgirlnotes,
You’re all right. I*t’s the marketplace tha’s all messed up.
Time for a bear video. Share this with the Bloomettes.
Well Ton, I can’t disagree with you but I think I will forgo the naked selfies to random strangers just the same. Probably a good thing someone dumped off momma kitty, her kittens will be here any day now — a great start to my cat lady empire! 😉
Kidding, of course, but I do have girls to be an example for. And their momma sending naked selfies around is not the example I am trying to set. My days may have passed, but at least I will retain my dignity?
And I have a feeling things might work out for me yet! Cheers!
I know you do Ton and I value your advice, tough love such as it is, truly I do. I hope you know that! I still have your quote when you dropped some pearls of wisdom a few months back hanging on my wall right here!
Thanks Fuzzie, will do!
One thought. If it were a hundred yers ago, I think your community would have networked and found you a husband. Things were different then.
I still don’t thjink you ned to worry.
That is true Fuzzie! And they may be finagling something yet!
Redpillgirlnotes,
I wouldn’t doubt that they are looking out for you. You’re popular.
Well you are pretty and that is huge, your attitude doesn’t suck and that is also true. Realistic on how things play out for men….. You got to know your enemy so to.speak and prep the battlefield
You have the right idea. Be upfront, or even better, just be honest with YOURSELF. When I hear of these women who stuck around with a guy for like 6 years through their late twenties, who clearly wasn’t interested in getting married, and they say “I thought he would come around and change his mind.”
You’ve got to be kidding me. Even a more slippery guy, who would kind of be purposely ambiguous about it, who when asked would say something like “I dunno, possibly in the future, etc.” I still say you knew full well that he wasn’t a guy that wanted to get married.
You ABSOLUTELY can ask on the first date, if they plan to get married, if it’s something they want/hope for. If you’re worried about it being a “turn off” or spooking him out, then he’s probably not a guy you want to be on a date with anyways, and you’re just lieing to yourself. The problem is, the guys who are definitely planning on marriage and a family, and are ACTIVELY dating for that purpose, are not the guys that YOU WANT. You want the guys who AREN’T interested, but want to date them anyways because that’s what you find attractive, but don’t want to face the fact that they’re not interested in marrying you. It would not be difficult if you chose guys who actually want a relationship, marriage, etc.
@SFC Ton You are right about a lot of things about our culture and the ones who seek to rot it from the inside out. This type of Expert Level Red-Pillery is probably not going to be accessible to people reading this blog at this time.
“If you aren’t ready for or wanting marriage, consider not dating at all and spend the time and energy on other pursuits rather than dating for dating sake.”
Agreed. Dating is a shallow thing, whether you are ready for or wanting marriage or not. I don’t date.
I meet women but have never been in the mating market. It never interested me. I look at my friends’ experience of it and see it as a waste of time. Most women bore me. As you suggest, there are far more interesting things on which to spend my time and energy – and money.
“never been in the mating market”
never been in the dating market
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red notes girl,
any new postings coming forth out of you?