Something that has fallen out of fashion but I feel is long overdue to return is the concept of women being a helpmate in a relationship.
Woah, woah, I know it’s taboo but just hang with me a bit. I am not talking about the short end of some stick, or oppression, or misogyny. Being a helpmate doesn’t mean being a doormat.
Today’s relationship model promotes equality or even female dominance rather than the helpmate idea. However as I look around in real life, I am not seeing that working out so well. Divorces and broken families (or never being an official family at all but just shacking up or baby momma-ing it) have become the new normal. How’s that working out? Are women (and men and children) happier for it?
Consider the helpmate model, instead. In this structure the female willingly allows her man to take the lead in the public sphere, supporting his career and life goals. Her focus is the home sphere, keeping her family well fed, clothed, and cared for.
Maybe another way to look at it is yin/yang. The couple agrees to divide and conquer the tasks of life together. The needs and success of the whole supersedes the individuals.
Does being a helpmate mean he’ll never fall short, make mistakes, fail, or lead in the wrong direction? No. Because sometimes he will. But when he does, the helpmate helps, she doesnt berate or attack. She doesn’t point it out to others. She doesn’t hold a grudge. She forgives and forgets. She understands that her goal is to build him up, not to tear him down.
Imagine a relationship where by handing over the captains chair and standing by to assist as first mate everyone wins. Peacefully, cooperatively, lovingly. No drama, no fighting, no power struggle. Ahhhh.
I hope it catches on and becomes a new trend, myself! To helpmates!
Let those who have ears hear.