There’s a well known verse in the Book that goes like this:
“A wise woman builds up her house, a foolish one tears it down with her own hands.”
Today it is more common to see a woman tear down her house by bad talking her husband, working at cross purposes with him, actively searching for a better deal even after marriage, disrespecting a father to his children, browbeating her husband, actively disobeying/disregarding/undermining her husband, and more. Such women are fools. Don’t be a fool.
In moments of doubt or trial, ask yourself how you can build up your house. Pray for guidance. recite the wedding vows, whatever it takes to get yourself in a building it up frame of mind.
Resist the urge to tear it down, thinking starting over is the answer. It isn’t. It’s foolish.
Let those who have ears hear.
Not much of a house we do have,
But silly to tear it down it would be.
Wonder what is wrong with thses women I do.
As if consumed by a marriage-eating disease they are.
Mrs. Yoda I don’t completely get it myself. It seems like it would be easier to be content and appreciative?
Maybe it’s a focus on short term gains over long term ones? Of the women I have seen do this who do leave a good, if boring (?), marriage, none have ended up better off. And most have ended up far, far worse off.
I’ll bet the frequency of home wrecking is inversely proportional to the frequency of sex. It’s hard to be so negative when you’re getting busy “sleeping with the enemy”.
Indeed, eccentric. A few years back there was a 30 day sex challenge where ladies committed to sex w their hubbies every day for 30 days, regardless of mood. Many reported not wanting to or having to psych themselves into the daily deed at first but by the end of the 30 days they didn’t want to stop! The enemy you are sleeping w daily is probably a whole lot more cooperative, too! 🙂
I have a feeling that Eccentric’s hypothesis has a direct bearing on marital satisfaction. However, that is not going to be well recieved. The wives want the upper hand.
She can have the upper hand or she can be happy. Just saying…
“’ll bet the frequency of home wrecking is inversely proportional to the frequency of sex. It’s hard to be so negative when you’re getting busy “sleeping with the enemy”.
I think the same thing, Eccentric. 🙂
I’ve always maintained you’re not going to fight over trivialities like leaving dirty underwear on the floor if you’re having a lot of good sex. It isn’t even a thought. If you’re having good sex and value your partner little things are no cause for conflict at all, in fact they’re often viewed with fondness.
“Maybe it’s a focus on short term gains over long term ones? Of the women I have seen do this who do leave a good, if boring (?), marriage, none have ended up better off. And most have ended up far, far worse off.”
Yes. And what is “boring” anyway? If a person is bored that’s their fault, not the spouse’s fault…it’s no one’s job to entertain them, it’s their job to be interesting and entertaining themselves.
Liz,
Rollo had a theory about women somehow morphing into “the prize” back in the 60s. I think that a lot came along with that. When you mentioned bordom, that rang a bell. I think that a lot of women expect their men to entertain them.
It sounds like a regression into childhood.
Adventure is something that belongs on the other side of a screen. That, or. it’s a long time ago in a place far away. Comparing the two, boring might be good.
A woman w the upper hand is never happy, I have noticed. If she can get the upper hand, the part of her brain that is still 2000 years old thinks, “so could anyone else.” So the s#it testing begins. If he backs down trying to appease her (as blue pill thinking directs) well the harpy nagging is on. It’s taboo to say but women want a man who is two steps ahead, not two steps behind.
Even in step is not good, if it were this whole equal stuff would be working, but it’s not. However being two steps ahead does not have to equal abuse/oppression, as some would gasp. It’s called respect. Respect is good.
Redpillgirlnotes,
There is a protocol for that. In public, Prince Philip has to walk a full pace behind his wife, the Queen. It is literal.
I think that it all starts at the beginning. The boy loves the girl so much he’d do anything for her and things start off on an equal footing, going downhill from there. It’s as if failure is designed in.
Bear video. I am beginning to have second thoughts about foreign travel.
Surely women must intuitively understand that if they are having frequent sex with a man—especially Good sex—it will make them less inclined to criticize, run down, and attempt to dominate that man….hence, if they’re seeking dominance, they should minimize sex. It seems that for a significant % of women, playing the power game within the relationship is far more important than their own sexual satisfaction or getting of affection.
Speaking of domination, I think many (most?) men would be happy with an equal relationship if such were possible. But it seems that women in general can’t really think in terms of “equals”, it is dominate or be dominated. This is most obvious in female relationships with men, but even in friendships and other relationships among women, it seems like jockeying for power and status plays a bigger role than in friendship among men.
Thanks for adding that Alan. It does seem rather obvious, but I do think a lot of women don’t make that connection. I also agree women are much more “herd” focused, likely from historically living communally in villages w the young and the old versus men who were out hunting and such. For women social rank and strategic alliances were survival and power.
Surely women must intuitively understand that if they are having frequent sex with a man—especially Good sex—it will make them less inclined to…
You know, the more I think about it and traverse the company of women, the more I”m beginning to think that we men as a whole aren’t that skilled at giving good sex. And perhaps this is why things degenerate to such a deplorable degree?
Something to think about.
One of the two gals I mentioned in the previous post admitted she withheld sex for power. As she put it, “it’s the only card I’ve got.” I told her she was playing her hand all wrong!!!
I think that Anonymous Alan is on the right track. Control and dominance are a priority over a healthy relationship.
“Good Sex”can’t be defined.
Redpillgirlnotes,
That your friend would say that and follow through speaks volumes. I am sorry but, it is all too common.
@ fuzzie I don’t know if it’s healthy or unhealthy as much as it is what it is. Women are wired very differently than men, and while that is vexing for sure, it also seems to be part of the design. A big part of the reason many relationships don’t work these days comes back to men and women being in denial or in the dark about these dynamics. I don’t totally understand it myself except to say women who lead their relationships seem to have more trouble than women in relationships where the man is leading. I am not a man so I don’t know this but I’d speculate the same is true for men, that they prefer to be the lead in the relationship than have the woman lead?
And further it seems to be women who themselves willingly give the lead that things work out best for, if the man has to demand or assert the lead that usually leads to a power struggle. So it’s really a choice the woman makes and fosters rather than something he asserts. If that makes sense? I am not explaining this well…
My definition for good sex for either gender is the partner wanting subsequent helpings. An aspect of love entering the formula is when a wife isn’t really into intercourse or other sexual acts, but opts to externally be enthusiastic about the act for the purpose of uplifting her husband.
I’m amazed that a man would opine on a red pill blog that men in general aren’t skilled enough to sexually please women. When women feel emotionally safe they are very willing to communicate what type of physical stimuli is pleasing to them. (MAWDT) Most All Women Do That.
I believe most all men would rather be the lead. I also believe that many relationships begin with the man in the lead, but after a period of time, for reasons I do not know, most women turn the tables and TAKE the lead. During the taking period men make attempts to reassert, but the shit tests, passive aggression, and harping just never stop until the woman is dominantly in the lead. Men just give up for the purpose of maintaining a false peace. The men turn to alcohol, porn, workaholism, daydreaming, or whatever to emotionally survive.
@ Poseidon I think you are right, women will for some reason struggle for the lead they then don’t want. Its a paradox that makes no sense. I have seen more than one happily married woman in the sphere report she tried it early on and her mate was somehow savvy enough to say, “knock it off or else” rather than to pacify. Beyond that, I think the answer is for the woman herself to recognize that, which I don’t see very often. I have made that mistake myself before I discovered the red pill. I wish more people had this info, I know the red pill gets bashed but I truly think it could help people to understand these things.
I’m amazed that a man would opine on a red pill blog that men in general aren’t skilled enough to sexually please women. When women feel emotionally safe they are very willing to communicate what type of physical stimuli is pleasing to them.
Chris Rock talks about it in one of his bits, and it’s a sporadic but ongoing topic in the Manosphere. Presumably the mythical alpha male ‘Chad Thundercock’ has sexual prowess as well as a DGAF attitude and leadership skills, making him the most awesome alpha. And Beta Bob is enthusiastic, almost frantic, but not necessarily that skilled. Guess what ratio of the male population is alpha versus beta?
My own limited sampling of anecdotal data. especially among older women, suggests that a lot of practice doesn’t necessarily mean a lot of improvement. And after awhile it is just assumed that partners in a relationship have everything figured out. But if I show a woman buttons to push or tricks to try out she has never seen before, even if she has been married for a number of years, it tells me that expertise is something that must be sought after and is not necessarily granted after a certain amount of practice.
I’m not saying I’m Chad Thundercock himself, just saying some men are betters lovers than most of their peers. If a woman hasn’t had the best, she may not even know what to ask for.
Redpillgirlnotes,
Back to the cave for more head scratching.
Assuming we’re all adults here…
When it comes to sex, there is absolutely no reason for women to blame men. Common red pill wisdom says without attraction there is no desire, but there’s a way to tinker with that.
http://www.amazon.com/Doctor-Recommended-Kegelmaster-Advanced-Exerciser/dp/B004IAO8P6
All I can say is read the top reviews. It seems to me that if a woman is really enjoying things, it will lead to more desire for more of the same. I could be wrong, of course, I’m not a woman.
I wish these things had been around years ago, because I can think of a few friends wives who would have received one as a present from my wife, based on what their husbands told me. I remember one time a bunch of us (just guys, all married) were together cutting firewood and the subject of being tempted by other women came up. That led to how things were going at home. I’ll never forget what one guy said,
“When we were first married you can’t believe what it was like. She was so tight I had to jack off beforehand to last long enough to get her off. But now, after 4 kids, it’s like sticking it in a glass of water… and she blames me for not being big enough for her. And I know, we all know, that if I say one word about the real problem I will hear about it for the rest of my life.”
Two notes on that story: 1) He was wrong about hearing about it for the rest of his life. She divorced him about 6 years later and one of the things she told my wife was he was a very selfish and unsatisfying lover. 2) If you think he was sharing TMI, you cannot believe the stuff their wives told my wife. In fact, there came a point at which we had a discussion about what she was allowed to tell me and what she wasn’t.
I imagine a woman’s feelings might be devastated after being given one of those things by her husband (as opposed to a female friend gushing about how much better sex was after using it). Likewise, I suppose a guy might feel really bad if his wife/GF gave him a bathmate and said “What you’ve got is fine, but can we super-size it?”
F*ck artisanal toad, after that I just put the kegel master in my Amazon cart.
But it’s a whole bennie, and I’m pretty tight…with my money, at any rate. I really enjoy things, but that post kids story kind of hits me in the gut.
Liz
I was not casting aspersions on anyone. But if you read the review about the wife that could “trap” her husband make him beg her to let him go… Chinese finger trap indeed. I ain’t apologizing for nothing and I’d be interested in any woman that could do that. And just so you know, no woman ever handed me a bathmate.
The sad part about the post-kids story is she was the best looking wife of our group and she divorce-raped a great guy. From what I hear she’s a miserable c*** now that shacks up with whoever will put up with her. And her kids hate her. He’s got a new wife 16 years younger than him and they’ve started a new family.
“But if you read the review about the wife that could “trap” her husband make him beg her to let him go… Chinese finger trap indeed.”
I did. Sounds like some stories I’ve heard about the “talent” in certain parts of Thailand. But I never believed it. Hm. We’ll see…
When you get there.. give me a call.
On the topic that Artisinal Toad and Liz are discussing, while the Kegemaster might be beneficial to some women, the Bathmate is not the answer for men. It is more of a problem that could be solved by the TLCTugger and this may actually make her use of the Kegelmaster unnecessary.
http://tlctugger.com
Lol Artisanal Toad. 😀
I’m honestly curious to see if this works.
Foreskin restoration? I didn’t know that was possible.
I’ve learned so many things online….
Here’s some more info:
http://sexasnatureintendedit.com
Ok I want to search to figure out what a bath mate is but I am afraid of what I will find! Lol. I love you guys! Hugs!
Purely for your amusement, Girls
https://artisanaltoadshall.wordpress.com/2015/09/26/the-ahem-other-muscles/
Lol, that’s one way to “build up the house!” Who knew?!?! 🙂
Interesting post, Mr Toad. I notice that the stats you cite have no consideration for whether or not the men were circumcised. Here is a woman’s review from the Sex As Nature Intended It website:
There are many such reviews and the people who did the study found that both women and men derived more pleasure with an intact penis and men who have done foreskin restoration report greatly enhanced pleasure and connection with their sexual partners. It appears that her pleasure is not primarily determined by his size. Perhaps you could do a follow-up post on that – I would certainly be interested to read it.
Lena, I don’t have sons but of I did I agree, no surgery. Thanks for sharing that!
Okay, I got this thing in the mail (Amazon Prime, two day free shipping!) and the instructions are all in French.
I guess it’s not rocket science, but it would be helpful.
For the record, this thing totally violates my no phallus shaped items in the home other than actual phalluses policy.
(which is a good policy for a person who encounters movers every year and a half on average and doesn’t want them to find anything untoward, embarassing, and unaccounted for in the household goods packing process)
Keep us posted, Liz! Lol 🙂
Will do, Bloom. 😛