One of the problems I have encountered being raised in a post feminist world is that I got almost no instruction on traditional woman roles, such as how to keep a house.
For all of my adult life, I have been a day late and a dollar short in the domestic front. While others seem to have the mechanics figured out, I struggle to deal with what seems like endless piles of laundry, dishes, and undone chores.
And it’s not because I haven’t tried, or worked hard, or many a time gotten something in order only to have another area fall into disarray. It’s humbling to admit, but I just somehow don’t get it. This is obviously not a selling point or one I flaunt openly (except here!)
What I have come to realize is that I was so busy being taught how to be a pseudo man and live in a man’s world of career and business, I completely missed “being a woman 101.”
Luckily I have found someone who understands this, and thanks to the Internet, she’s able to lovingly teach me one baby step at a time. Her name is Flylady and like me, she once had CHAOS (Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome) too.
One thing I love about her methods are they are positive and nurturing, almost motherly. Forget the inferiority complex and self blame, it basically boils down to homemaking is a skill that must be taught. If one was not taught, she can learn, and Flylady will help.
Another thing I love about her method is that it’s a gradual one. No grueling 8-hour marathon cleaning sessions. In fact it starts with only one step, a sparkling clean kitchen sink.
As new habits are formed it becomes more of a lifestyle than a quick fix. Like a patient and good mother, Flylady is there via e-mail reminders of daily tasks and then 15 minute decluttering sessions to help guide you to wherever you are to where you want to be.
For me, that’s a not perfect but calm and serene retreat that welcomes me and my family home like a warm hug, not the all too familiar feeling like my world was in order until I entered my house.
So if like me, you have some remedial home economics skills to brush up on, know its never too late to give yourself and your family the gift of a cozy, clean, orderly nest. Something the feminists never told you was it can be a very joyous, nurturing, and satisfying quest for a woman to “play house.”
And it all starts with a sparkling clean kitchen sink.
p.s I am not sure if Flylady had this in mind but while my sink was soaking w bleach water I ended up cleaning the entire rest of the kitchen, and it looks great! Every journey begins with a single step…
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
The Feminine side of the Blue Pill–you don’ need no steenkeeng domestic skills.
So true, Bloom, I feel so much happier when everything is clean, **especially** the kitchen. And I hear you on how it is a constant juggle or struggle balancing what needs to be done when… there’s always something.
Yay for cleaning your kitchen! Hardly anything else feels better than basking in that for sure!
Indeed gamer, I was actively discouraged from developing them. I guess it was assumed I would easily be able to hire someone to do the “drudgery” while I enjoyed my high flying career? What a crock! And I don’t mean to imply men can’t have such skills too, in fact many seem to be better at keeping house than women these days! (Sadly!)
Feminism and the “you can do anything a man can do better” plus “looks don’t matter” abd “men are ebul oppressors!” dogma truly is the female version of the blue pill.
I literally JUST spent my Sunday cleaning my kitchen from top to bottom. It was exhausting, but admittedly very satisfying.
Awesome lunar! Welcome and don’t be a stranger 🙂
I would guess that a lot of things aren’t being taught anymore.
Me, being a single man with half custody of my son, I needed to either keep a clean functional house, or model sloppiness. I like to cook and eat, therefore my kitchen is usually spotless. The laundry is always updated due to me using my sweats all the time due to workouts. I also don’t like dirty bathrooms. Historically I’ve neglected the yard work, but recently got that up to date as well.
My rubber garbage pale the county provides can get dirty and smelly. I store it in my garage and wheel it out to the street on Wednesdays for garbage pickup. If a plastic bag leaks, then the rubber will stink. A cleaning tip I can offer to clean the rubber pale is to use Pine Sol. I begin this quick cleaning process after the garbage truck empties the pale. I drag my water hose to the street and firstly hose out the pale. I then pour the excess water out of the pale. I then pour a generous amount of Pine Sol into the pale. I then lay the pale on its side in the street, with the open end pointing uphill. My street is on a slight hill. I then roll the pale over and over so the Pine Sol makes contact with each of the four sides, all the way up to the top of the sides. Then I pour the excess out onto the street. Then I do not hose out the pale. Oh no. I leave the open pale in the street with the sun shining in the pale. Pine Sol is oil based, so by not rinsing out the Pine Sol, and allowing it to dry onto the rubber, I leave a layer of clean smelling cleanser. After it drys I wheel the pale back into the garbage. Job done. Pine Sol is sold at a good price at Costco.
I was at Starbucks a couple of weeks ago. During that time there was what seemed to be a college aged ladies bible study occurring. I was really glad to witness that. If only I was 25 years younger; yum yum. Anyway, maybe I should offer a new ministry to their church. I could be a Wife-Mentor. The young ladies could twice weekly come over to my house and function as a good help-meat wife ought to. I can coach and teach the young ladies. They can practice their wifely duties by cooking for me, cleaning my house. smiling at me, etc… I don’t know, should I offer this type of service??
Hurray! I’m adding flylady to my reading list. Thanks, Bloom. 🙂
With our floors (white porcelain throughout…think I mentioned before we refer to this home as ‘White Tiles’)…and kids and dogs, things can really get out of hand quick.
If I keep it under control as much as possible, it’s much less work.
White flooring, no bueno in a wet and muddy climate anyway!
Poseidon you absolutely should offer to instruct the lassies, but I think that’s help *mate* not help meat! Lol
Help-meat may have been a Freudian slip. I thought it was “help-meet” in the KJV.
Yoda cares most about sammiches he does.
What ever it takes to do them, he does want
I love flylady! I too went into marriage having no idea how to keep a house. Thankfully my church had an “excellent wife” class going when I was engaged. I had to take that class a few times to really grasp the concepts. Anyway, the leader of that study ended up being my mentor and teaching me all her feminine ways, including showing me flylady. Good stuff.
Welcome wordsofgold! 🙂 that group sounds great, so many young women could use mentors like that!
Also wordsofgold, that’s an excellent example of a role that women a generation or two ahead used to play that has been largely missing in “modern” times, leading younger women to be good wives and mothers. I plan to write a post about this, but feel the boomers and generations since have done quite the opposite, leading young women astray!