One of the problems I have encountered being raised in a post feminist world is that I got almost no instruction on traditional woman roles, such as how to keep a house.

For all of my adult life, I have been a day late and a dollar short in the domestic front. While others seem to have the mechanics figured out, I struggle to deal with what seems like endless piles of laundry, dishes, and undone chores.

And it’s not because I haven’t tried, or worked hard, or many a time gotten something in order only to have another area fall into disarray. It’s humbling to admit, but I just somehow don’t get it. This is obviously not a selling point or one I flaunt openly (except here!)

What I have come to realize is that I was so busy being taught how to be a pseudo man and live in a man’s world of career and business, I completely missed “being a woman 101.”

Luckily I have found someone who understands this, and thanks to the Internet, she’s able to lovingly teach me one baby step at a time. Her name is Flylady and like me, she once had CHAOS (Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome) too.

One thing I love about her methods are they are positive and nurturing, almost motherly. Forget the inferiority complex and self blame, it basically boils down to homemaking is a skill that must be taught. If one was not taught, she can learn, and Flylady will help.

Another thing I love about her method is that it’s a gradual one. No grueling 8-hour marathon cleaning sessions. In fact it starts with only one step, a sparkling clean kitchen sink.

As new habits are formed it becomes more of a lifestyle than a quick fix. Like a patient and good mother, Flylady is there via e-mail reminders of daily tasks and then 15 minute decluttering sessions to help guide you to wherever you are to where you want to be.

For me, that’s a not perfect but calm and serene retreat that welcomes me and my family home like a warm hug, not the all too familiar feeling like my world was in order until I entered my house.

So if like me, you have some remedial home economics skills to brush up on, know its never too late to give yourself and your family the gift of a cozy, clean, orderly nest. Something the feminists never told you was it can be a very joyous, nurturing, and satisfying quest for a woman to “play house.”

And it all starts with a sparkling clean kitchen sink.

p.s I am not sure if Flylady had this in mind but while  my sink was soaking w bleach water I ended up cleaning the entire rest of the kitchen, and it looks great! Every journey begins with a single step…

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