A gal I know through work who has been toying with the idea of frivorcing her husband is once again “unhaaaapy.”

Why is she unhappy? In short because her family is coming undone at the seams. And yet she fails to see the obvious, that she herself is smack dab in the middle of it.

She simultaneously berates her husband for not being the head of the family while at the same time fighting him tooth and nail to be sure he isn’t. Had she listened to him and let him lead rather than run interference, her 17-year-old daughter would not have gotten pregnant with a boy she barely knew on purpose out of rebellion, her son would not have dropped out of college because his bossy new girlfriend told him to or else, her 14-year old daughter would not be on the Internet meeting boys who claim they are 17 and making out with them in cars, and her 7-year-old son would not be living in terror at the constant threat of losing his dad if his mom follows through on her ongoing threats to divorce.

Her husband has tried to take action to prevent all of the above disaster from happening, only to be thwarted by her sticking up for the kids and telling him not to be so strict.

And yet as she wails about the state of her family, her own role in the fiasco continues to elude her.

Ladies, don’t be like her. Don’t be so darn headstrong you refuse to allow your man to be the head of the house. The only outcome of such behavior is dysfunction and disaster. If she can’t accept or respect hierarchy and authority, how can she expect her children to? That’s right, they don’t listen to her just like she doesn’t listen to him.

Maybe put another way, perhaps like me you have worked for both male and female bosses. Which was the best leader? If your experience is anything like mine, the male bosses are far more even keeled and on point.

If my friend had any sense she’d swallow a huge dose of her pride, hand the keys and the wheel of their family to her husband, and step out of the way so he can do his best to save their family before it all falls apart. I doubt she will, but I am hoping against all reason that she surprises me.

Once again, it’s all in the Book.

Let those who have ears hear.

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