Surely you have heard the rally cry of the modern woman, “You go, girl!” On the surface it seems to be an endearing term of pro-female encouragement. But is it?
Many times it can actually be exactly the wrong advice, especially when what a friend really needs to hear is, “Woah, girl!”
Women tend to naturally empathize and try to build consensus when communicating with each other. And in and of itself, this is not a bad thing. It can be very nurturing.
However in today’s culture, there’s a lot of bad advice floating around, advice that destroys families, lives, and women themselves. Such advice is often given with a “You go, girl!” positive spin, like it’s the path to happiness and enlightenment rather than instability and destruction.
Before I stumbled upon the red pill and read accounts from the male point of view about just how astray “You go, girl!” can lead a woman, I will admit I had not stopped to really consider the downside of this seemingly upbeat advice. I had many times (even at bible studies!) sat with groups of female friends and listened when women who talked about struggling in their otherwise healthy marriages with boredom and undefined unhappiness and contemplating starting over were told, “You go, girl!” when in reality the issues were completely fixable, perhaps even just a normal ebb in her overall life flow. How destructive.
Another time, “You go, girl!” can be bad advice is when a woman is encouraged to “find herself” via sleeping around or hooking up with men out of lust or as some sort of self-validation. How dangerous. I have even heard women advise married women to do so, behind their spouse’s back. Really?
There’s a big difference between truly supporting a friend and foolishly encouraging her on a path of self-destruction. So before you reflexively go along with the “You go, girl!” party line, pause and ponder what she really needs to hear. And if it’s “Woah, girl!” don’t shy away. You could be the only one who tells her what she really needs to hear, not what she or others are telling her to justify a poor decision.
Let those who have ears hear.
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
Feels over realz is the certain path to destruction.
Is it too simplistic of me to say that nobody should seek validation of their self at all? Totally easier said than done, trust me I know! I do find though that when I sit back and just listen to myself, things generally don’t go so bad. When I start trying to do things I think I should be doing that I am not, based on the norm or someone else’s advice, things don’t go so well 🙂
Everyone should listen to themselves, make your own decisions and have only yourselves to blame when it hits the fan 🙂
I see that you are writing for the girl lurkers who are too shy to chime in. That’s all right. I can’t say how many times reading your posts that you have been the only one to counsel saving the relationship while all the other were in a chorus of “Dump the Hubby!”. How bad advice is it to counsel a woman with four children to chase her hard working but boring hubby out of the house. Where would she be then?
To the lurkers: take advice from girls that promotes destruction with a lot of salt. They would like to learn from your errors which can be attributed to their advice.
Wise words Bloom 🙂
Explain consequences for behavior one should.
Not popular this would be.
But needed it is
Indeed, loveworldproblems! Thanks for adding that and please don’t be a stranger 🙂
@ fuzzie, this is true, I have seen women give other women bad advice and the live vicariously thru the drama. Not good.
Agreed Mrs. Yoda. Far too often women proceed, thinking consequences only apply to “other people” only to find put the hard way that no, they apply to all. Often those consequences lead to regret, but far too long after the damage is done.
Redpillgirlnotws,
It seems that there is a lot of bad advice floating around out there. What may help your readers more is to tell them where they can get good advice.
True Fuzzie, trouble is I am not sure where women today can find good advice
Recommendations?
I recommend they get advice from NotesFromRedPillGirl.com. Seems this Bloom gal has the market cornered on red pill advice from women for women. 😉
Redpillgirlnotes,
You have a point. I can only think of sources to avoid. Except for your site.
The fact we should heed our own council and not the words of our elders demonstrates how fucked up the times we are living in truly are
Now that I have had some time to think about it, it is curious how in a couple of years I went from knowing of many red pill sites for women to very few who post sporadically.
Try Tempest in a Teacup, On the Rock, and redditt has a Red Pill Women sub.
That is very kind of ou guys, I try. My hope is that soon this type of advice to women won’t seem so uncommon.
The fact we should heed our own council and not the words of our elders demonstrates how fucked up the times we are living in truly are
For 800 years good advice given I have.
But right Ton is.
Young whipper snappers of 60 full of shit most are.
“Young whipper snappers of 60 full of shit most are.”
I totally agree Yoda.
I also agree that RPC gives wonderful, realistic advice. When I first “met” her I was mostly joking around. Over time I have grown to respect her.
The fact we should heed our own council and not the words of our elders demonstrates how fucked up the times we are living in truly are
Well….my elders are all senile and nearly insane, so heeding them is just a bad idea.
No doubt my darling Mrs Yoda
No doubt my darling Mrs Yoda
Flatter me you do.
Plans for me you do have?
“There’s a big difference between truly supporting a friend and foolishly encouraging her on a path of self-destruction. So before you reflexively go along with the “You go, girl!” party line, pause and ponder what she really needs to hear. And if it’s “Woah, girl!” don’t shy away. You could be the only one who tells her what she really needs to hear, not what she or others are telling her to justify a poor decision.”
Yep. Good on ya, Bloom. 🙂
Just as a side note to no one in particular, but loveworldproblems reminded me. I think it’s a very common thing for modern women to make claims of “not needing validation”. There’s a pretty famous quote about this: “a woman who doesn’t need validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet”.
Well…the type of woman who says that is usually the same type that seeks validation the most, and often from exactly the wrong people. Wanting validation is not itself the problem. Most everyone likes positive feedback and I question if anyone outside of actual sociopaths/psychopaths actually don’t give a damn what anyone whatsoever thinks. But a person (particularly women, who naturally seek approval more…just biology) should be selective of exactly whose “approval” she values.
After reading Liz’s comment, it reminded me of the old adage, “With friends like this, who needs enemies?”
Excellent point Liz, seeking approval from the wrong crowd can really get a gal in trouble.
” No doubt my darling Mrs Yoda
Flatter me you do.
Plans for me you do have?”
Mrs. Yoda and Ton in the process of a coupling. And RPC getting married to her mystery man soon. I don’t know whether to sing Taps or offer congratulations.
Poseidon740,
I would not worry about Mrs. Yoda. She and Yoda have a division of responibilility in the house. She makes the sandwiches and he makes the soup. I don’t think that they will split up ant time soon. All her friends can say “You go girl!” all they want, when she gets hungry, she will want Yoda’s soup.
@ fuzzie:
analysis of accuracy provide you do