Today’s post will be a bit different from the rest, this one will be an interactive one where readers share their “dating don’t” memories of disastrous dating moments from days gone by.
This is in the spirit of public service, helping hapless daters avoid such mishaps in the future!
Stories of friend’s or family dating don’ts, or even your own flubs on dates, are welcome, too!
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Don’t take a blind date to a romantic movie like “Don Juan Demarco”. If you’re not attracted on first meeting, you’ll be backpedalling stronger than Mark Phelps in the Olympic tryouts.
“you’ll be backpedalling stronger than Mark Phelps in the Olympic tryouts.”
I’ll need to steal that. That’s a good one!
😀
Oh, good grief I think I shared the one where my date (and I was paying) flirted with the waitress and she was rubbing his shoulders and they were both making fun of me.
Mike saved me early so I don’t have too many horrible date stories that come to mind.
I do remember asking my ex how the food on his plate tasted and his lifted a finger in the air and wiggled it around and then pursed his lips together while chewing and started to nibble like a rabbit. Then he cocked his head to the side (still wiggling the finger and nibbling and looking toward the wall). I’m not sure if this description gives you a real visual of what this looked like but to offer some idea this was the moment I decided that I was pretty sure he must be gay (and yeah, I was right).
Ok here’s a golden oldie, in college I worked as a student hire at a small military base with a special forces unit. I grew up in a military town and was warned repeatedly off dating GI’s so while as one of the few young single women on base I had plenty of offers, I declined them in the name of professionalism. (Yeah, I might play that differently if I could turn back time but I digress…)
So there was one very persistent special forces guy who I kept turning down because while he was fun and good looking and interesting, he had all the marks of a player. Finally when he just wouldn’t stop asking, I agreed. While we were out to dinner I noticed his eyes nearly pop out of his head, then he asked me, “Do you think the waitress is wearing underwear?” Ummm, not exactly first date discussions. So shortly after this he says he needs to go to the bathroom and I watch him double back to slyly get the waitress’s number. Fail. He couldn’t figure out why he never got a date number two, even though he kept asking for another year before I graduated and moved on. He even wrote me a letter a year after that, asking me again. Every once in awhile I still see him on TV giving interviews and such for his job. However I have no regrets on that one, I found out from two girls in my office that his ex fiancé was not an ex as he had said, and he was dating one of them to boot while he was pursuing me! I wasn’t too happy w those gals for not cluing me in earlier, but I figured it out on my own pretty quick!
I have a story Mike told me, when he was on a date in high school. I might have mentioned this one before at JFG, not sure.
Anyway, he had his right arm around the girl in the theater while the movie was playing and he was chewing on gum. For whatever reason he takes the gum out of his mouth with his left hand and puts it on one of his fingers and kind of flicks it into the air. I’m not sure what he was trying to accomplish with that movie. Maybe he was going for “cool and careful bad boy” or something. But the thing went straight up into the air and landed smack on top of his head. And of course, gum doesn’t come off easy…
When he first told me this story I practically went myself laughing (he’s good at stories, has the mannerisms down and all that).
Gah, auto correct…
the above should’ve been:
I’m not sure what he was trying to accomplish with that move. Maybe he was going for “cool and carefree bad boy”
“you’ll be backpedalling stronger than Mark Phelps in the Olympic tryouts.”
Wonder how Ms. Jenner classified at Olympic tryout she would be.
When I say I would rethink that there was another guy who kept asking me out, a chief master Sargent who was very attractive but about 15 years older than me at the time so I thought he was “too old.” He was an awesome guy, I’d go visit him almost every day because he’d just have me doubled over laughing at his stories. He let me drive a real HUMV once too, except I kept going up on the curb so he finally put an end to the lady driver. He wanted marriage and children, I hope he found it.
I have never had a dating disaster. Girls like being taken out and I was always a good escort.
I just so happened to secretly film one of Fuzzie Bear’s dates,
Fartm Boy,
Thanks. That cheered me up. Bears make good spokesmen.
@ fuzzie buttering up a gal’s dad with a case of beer!!! Clever bear! Lol.
Ok I will share one of my own dating faux pas. Before I found the red pill I made the mistake of trying to impress dates by going on and on about my education, career, accomplishments. Only to find out after the red pill that I was making the classic mistake of projection, WOMEN are looking for those tells so they mistakenly think men are too. Nope! I would have been far better off talking about how much I loved to cook, garden, and play house! Oops.
Right after my divorce, I would run dates like a job interview
That must have really sucked but I had fallen out of the habit of being anything but all bidness
Check out this post by Dalrock:
https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2015/10/26/fotf-and-dr-hegstrom-check-your-male-privilege/
Men ought not take a lady to an institutional church if they are all going the path of Focus On The Family. It is so sad……
Poseidon the church I attended while married was big into Focus on the Family. I think the intentions were good, to try and help families stay together in a broken society but trouble was instead of calling out the broken frame they tried to work within it. It was a well meaning band aid on a fatal wound, maybe every once in awhile a miracle survival occurred but mostly…not.
@ Ton, oh dear! Those poor girls. What kind of questions would you ask? (I can imagine but hopefully they weren’t like this, “so, are you a heartless beeyach like all the rest? If a guy is on deployment the right thing to do is…? A. Bang all his buddies. B. bang guys from another town on the down low. C. Actually honor your vows. D. Depends on the day.) oh vay, I can only imagine! Kidding… Dark humor and all…I have been wronged myself, I know how craptastic it can be!
Poseidon740,
I read that. It’s like they have tossed out the Bible and are going with what feminists say. To put it bluntly, that is heresy.
I did have one of those “job interview” first dates. What a terrible way to start off..
Redpillgirlnotes,
From what I have heard, what you’re discussing is standard operating procedure for military wives. That stuff hurts active duy men more than anyone knows.
@ fuzzie such women are traitors on many levels. Such heartlessness deserves no mercy.
Redpillgirlnotes,
Yes, they are traitors and in more than one way. To their country, they are deralizing their husbands to the depths of depression. To women in genreal, they are destroying the reputaion of women to the point where the virtuous are suspect. And finally, to their husbands. And yet, our President refers to being a military wife as the tooughest job in the military, knowing ful well that this is happening. He has to know.
Nooooooo nothing like that Bloom. I hadn’t had much fun in years, expect work related fun which I knew was a no go so I was just very serious, asked serious questions, gave serious answers…. ie I was no fun and didn’t get much in the way of second dates
But I am a quick learner and had successful dating track record in the past. I put it all together pretty quickly. 4-6 months or so.
I was stationed in Hawaii after that which was lamb’s to the slaughter sort of thing
Fuzzie I reckon he knows no such thing. Military life is completely alien to 98-99% of the nation.
@ Ton ohhhhh I see. Yeah I could see how being all serious like that would not work very well. Looks like you have figured out that pulling pigtails and other lighthearted taunting works much better!
SFC Ton,
If he is uniformed on the matter, someone has dropped the ball big time.
Redpillgirlnotes,
I haven’t pulled pigtails since third grade.
I don’t know Fuzzie
Have you ever seen the published daily schedules of GWB? Talk about a full day, even at camp David
It is very simple to manipulate men with that much going on. Hard to believe but they don’t have the time to check the intell given them
Pull them pigtails Bear! I have dated some “high power” girls and they loved being treated like a girl. It takes the world off their shoulders and let’s them just be “them” for awhile
My biggest faux pas came with a woman I was not attracted to at all when I was still learning game, and I learned a lot from the experience. The biggest problem was my lack of calibration and inexperience with the way women really are.
We’d had a few drinks at the marina and were walking on the beach, nobody in sight, just talking. She was a *good* Christian woman I’d met in church, we’d been out for coffee before, this was the first time for drinks. We were walking along talking and we’d somehow gotten onto the subject of pet peeves and she was giving me this diatribe about how men only want sex and she wanted a relationship, not a FWB situation. I was getting sick of her bitching and wanted to end things. I stopped walking, pulled her close, looked into her eyes and smirked at her but didn’t say a word. I reached up under her shirt and undid her bra, then pulled the straps off the shoulder, down and over her arms. I was expecting her to stop me but she knew what I was doing and assisted me. So, I kept going, reached up under her shirt and pulled her bra out. Still looking her in the eye I said “I really hate these things.”
She stared at me for a moment, backed up a step (I thought I was about to get slapped), bent over, reached under her skirt and pulled off her panties. I got a big smile as she straightened back up, she handed them to me and she said “I bet you hate these too.”
Talk about upping the ante. Wow.
I asked if she’d ever had sex on a beach and she allowed as how she hadn’t, but it sounded like a wonderful idea since there was nobody around and lots of bushes in the dunes. I explained that it sounds romantic but it’s a *really* bad idea because just one grain of sand in the wrong place and she’d be walking bowlegged for days. And the sand *always* gets in where you don’t want it. We didn’t have time to go someplace else so I survived that, but she pestered me for weeks before she realized I wasn’t interested.
Then she hated me with a stalker-type visceral hatred. Since she knew where I lived I moved my boat to another marina and that was that. Thank God for truly mobile homes.
I didn’t realize the diatribe about men only wanting sex was a huge shit test that I’d passed with flying colors without knowing it. I also didn’t understand until much later the whole “boundary hunt” game, which I’d also won. I don’t know if it’s as much a thing with non-Christian women, but it seems the Christian women I’m attracted to really want men to push them for sex. Sure, they have boundaries (or do they?) but the guy doesn’t know where they are and is expected to push until he runs into a hard refusal to go further. If he does he passes the test.
The serious Christian men want to be gentlemen and treat them like ladies so they don’t push to find the boundaries, which automatically disqualifies them. The bad boys (the ones they’re attracted to) always push for sex. It’s the thrill of being chased and if they’re attracted enough the boundaries disappear along with the clothes.
Another story:
Sometimes the most outrageous things will just pop out of my mouth. One time I took a date to dinner (first date, I’d known her less than a week) and when our young waitress introduced herself I said “Hi. I’m Toad and this is my concubine, [name]. Shocked silence. I ordered for both of us without giving my date a chance to look at the menu. We had some nice conversation over the meal as we got to know each other and she acted like nothing had happened, but she had a mischievous look in her eye. The next time the waitress came by she said “Master, may I have another glass of wine?” That little girl just stood there, eyes wide, as a deep red blush crept up her neck and across her face. I took pity on her, quickly ordered a bottle of whatever we were drinking and she scurried away. The floor manager brought us our wine and we didn’t see her again. I left her a nice tip but I suspect we traumatized that poor girl.
As we slowly killed the bottle we had an incredible conversation on the subject of Biblical submission of wives and the responsibilities of husbands. She made typical churchian points on everything. I quoted the relevant passages, destroyed her arguments and mocked her feminist outlook. After a while we had the attention of several of the other tables who were listening to our conversation. At some point I said something about spanking and she tried to make it sound like I’d read 50 Shades of Grey. No, never read it, I just know what works. But, if women didn’t like the idea why was the FSoG book so popular with them? Maybe women secretly wanted to be taken in hand. A couple of the women at nearby tables nodded in agreement and she noticed, realized we had an audience and blushed. I was kind and allowed her to change the subject. As other tables left we received several nods and smiles from both men and women, as if they approved of me. She, of course, was mortified.
At the end of the night she subtly gave me the option of keeping her for the rest of the night, then told me I was the most frightening man she’d ever met because I totally, completely overwhelmed her. I have to take that with a grain of salt because what she was really scared of was the idea of submission. She could have been a keeper and it might have worked out but she simply wasn’t ready for somebody like me. I doubt if she ever will be.
That was years ago and she’s probably still in therapy to this day.
Wow AT, those are some good dating stories indeed! Lol.
I have other stories but perhaps not so appropriate for your blog. More amusing but at the same time way more risque. One that comes to mind is the cute blonde who showed up for our first date commando in a short skirt, thin blouse and those sticky cup thingies instead of a bra. I truly hate bras but that wasn’t what I’d expected from the oh-so-spiritual woman I’d met at a Bible study. The story of how I found out she’d gone commando and what happened after that is epic, but sure to offend some portion of your readers.
She was just one of a long line of churchian women who helped me reach the point of writing some of the stuff I write.
If we were ever to meet IRL, get me to tell you the story of the first time I trolled a church doing improv with three female friends from a theater group playing the role of my wives (I was doing research for my books- honest!) That almost got totally out of hand and if it had I’d have wrecked two or maybe even three marriages, but I assumed I was safe because two were married and one was engaged.
Of course, it could also have been the 3 or 4 bottles of wine and the decision to get in the hot tub together even though none of us had a swimsuit, but it’s an epic story that I probably need to write down one day, but not in public. Let’s just say that when I realized what was about to happen I did what I had to do and shut it all down cold.
Take a hot tub with one half-way drunk guy and three drunk, naked and horny women (they didn’t start out naked). How do you shut them down in just a few minutes without insulting them, refusing them, rejecting them or anything else like that. When I say shut down, when I started I had three women who were about to drag me off to bed and they were as interested in each other as me. Ten minutes later they were out of the hot tub, dried off and putting their clothes back on getting ready to go home. Want to guess what I did? I bet Ton could figure it out real quick.
AT go on… What did you do?
Did you fart? Act like a love struck beta? Tell them you wanted them to leave their husbands/fiancé and be your love slaves? Sign a consent form that yes means yes? Ask if you could videotape? I am dying of suspense here!!!
No wait, you told them you had herpes? Were gay? Thought they were nice and everything but were all too old? Lol. What???
They were friends from a theater group and they definitely weren’t Christians so I did the one thing guaranteed to kill the tingles in a woman, Every. Single. Time.
I explained why we were asked to leave the church we’d been in earlier, that those people called themselves Christians, but probably weren’t because for them it was a business. Then I took them down the Romans Road and shared the Gospel with them. Took maybe 4 minutes, max.
When I got to 1st John 1:9 they were scrambling to get their clothes on, already feeling seriously guilty about where their heads had been just a few minutes ago.
Every Christian guy that doesn’t understand why the women in church can’t stand being around them should give it some serious thought. There’s a way to talk about the Bible with women and a way to do it that makes them want to run away shrieking.
Oh I know! You started quoting scripture? 🙂 whaaaaat????
Took you a while but you finally figured it out. But it wasn’t just quoting Scripture, it was sharing the Gospel at a point when that was the LAST thing they wanted to hear.
“Ask if you could videotape?”
LOL! My standard advice for every man is buy multiple digital video recorders and video EVERYTHING, especially if the woman is married or even has a boyfriend. Anybody can get really cheap DVR’s that look like key fobs, wall warts, smoke detectors, bedside clocks, you name it. It may be the only thing standing between a false rape charge these days, which just happened to the son of some people that live a few miles from me. A bright young kid at the University of Alabama who just had his life ruined.
Yeah, yeah, I know, women would consider it a betrayal of trust if they ever found out, but evidently don’t consider filing false charges because of regret sex or to cover the lies they told their husband to be any sort of betrayal.
As for me, I no longer need to record anything, having found a better solution.
See, Bloom? Case in point. All I had to do was mention sharing the Gospel and even you got shut down. ;0
Lol I fell asleep myself while putting my kids to bed. Promise – it had nothing to do with what you said. Good for you for having self control and for not taking them up on it. AT. Few could resist that level of temptation! Well done. 🙂