A gal I know has been struggling with her teen and pre-teen kids lately. They won’t listen. They disobey. They ignore what she says. They do whatever they want. And they have no qualms about treating her with disrespect, contempt, and open destain.
The other day, after her 14-year-old daughter rolled her eyes, said, “whatever,” stomped off, and slammed the door, her mother once again started to wail that she “just doesn’t know what to do about these kids.”
Like a light clicking on I suddenly saw it, her kids were treating her exactly how she treats her husband!
Yep, a very possible cause behind today’s lack of respect for parents and authority in general could be traced back to the fact that not only do women today want equality (and special rights on top of that) they more and more just want to run the show.
A woman who shows respect for her husband as the leader of their tribe, and who herself defers to his authority is showing her children that life includes heirarchies. That sometimes life isn’t a democracy.
Egads, talk about an unpopular idea these days, everyone not being equal! But it’s simply a fact of life, even for grown ups. The teacher is in charge. The boss is in charge. The police have authority. And if you really want to see something scary, try arguing with a judge.
Not fair that men always get to be the leader, one might say? Well men would tell you they don’t. Men naturally fall into a hierarchy rank in every situation, without them even discussing it. One will be the “alpha” and the rest will follow suit. In most cases it’s situational, a man who is the alpha in one group may not be in another, and so on. It’s not about opression, it’s simply about natural order. Men have always understood this, even they recognize not everyone can be in charge and everyone can’t be equal. It’s just life.
So moms, if you want your kids to listen to and respect you, to follow your lead, and to avoid run ins with authority in general, the best way to achieve that is to listen to the man in your home and the men in your family, respect their authority, and be a good role model of a cheerful follower yourself.
Yep, I really did just say that!
Let those with ears hear.
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
It’s bad for boys too, to see this sort of behavior from their mums. It conditions them to be footstools for women.
“Like a light clicking on I suddenly saw it, her kids were treating her exactly how she treats her husband!”
Whoa spot on, Bloom! I’m sure you’re right, kids learn a lot by example.
That’s so sad. 😦
Run the show one can,
and respect the spouse simultaneous they could.
But not even that much many women can do
I was thinking that too Cill, and indeed her 18 to son is very much to bend to the will of women, which his mom was fine with until he got a girlfriend who now bosses him around and he puts before mom!
So brattiness a lack of respect it is?
So what respect means it does?
I would say so Yoda. At least in this family’s case it would be. The mom tried to brush it off as “just how teens are” and while that may be true too often these days, kids raised prior to the late 60s likely did not openly talk back, roll eyes, and just blow their parents off. Or did they? I know my parents would have been in big big trouble if they had, it just wasn’t done.
Good question. I will look up the definition but I’d say it is recognizing someone is “above” you and deferring to them. For whatever reason, age, their position, their knowledge, their strength, their status, etc.
Respect: noun- a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. Verb – admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
Synonyms: esteem, admire, think highly of, have a high opinion of, hold in high regard, hold in (high) esteem, look up to, revere, reverence, honor
Esteem a synonym of respect it is.
Children fed self esteem continually they are
Perhaps so much esteem they have that they respect parents not.
True, encouraging self-esteem was a big focus it seemed when I was growing up, and it seemed making sure everyone felt special and equal and like a winner was somehow central to that. But does that truly create a healthy self image? In my observations it did not create what was intended, it seems to foster self absorption rather than character, entitlement over self reliance, weakness rather than strength.
Further, perhaps self esteem is an inside job, built by mastering skills and challenges and even failing before succeeding? Not something that comes from external validation, constant reassurance that you are a special snowflake? Perhaps self esteem must be hard earned not granted?
The brattiness comes from a sense of self indulgence (“I can do anything I want”) and diminished sense of limits (and nothing will happen to me if I do anything I want”). No matter how much self esteem you’ve been taught as a youth, the world doesn’t work that way.
Try to tell your boss you won’t do an assignment because you don’t feel like it, or the work is too hard, or you think it’s somebody else’s turn to do it. That won’t go over very well. The counter balance to unlimited fake self esteem is sucking it up, and developing true self esteem by practicing self discipline. Achieving something great because it measures up to be superior is infinitely better then getting an award for just participating.
We did a terrible disservice to a generation to coddle their feelings, especially feelings of inadequacy. The only way to behave is learn how to behave, and the only way to gain achievement is doing the 1,000 to 10,000 hours of hard work to achieve mastery. There are no short cuts or instant rewards.
Which comes first it does,
brattiness or lack of respect?
Or perhaps intertwined they are
Parents respect children they must.
Children respect parents they must
I agree Eccentric, it does kids no favors to teach them otherwise.
I was amazed when my oldest daughter started school to see the behavior in her 1st grade (!) classroom. A third of the kids were noncooperation w and thumbed their nose at the teacher, a third were totally lost (what’s yellow?) and a third including my daughter were doing their best to try and learn in that chaos. And this is a “good school” in a small town rural area. The kids misbehaving would flatly refuse to stop whatever and you could tell they knew the teacher couldn’t do anything about it. 1st grade! Not 9th grade! Something has gone very very wrong. I can’t remember anyone ever talking back to a teacher or acting out in grade school. Why? Maybe because everyone knew the principal had a paddle in his office and wasn’t afraid to use it. I don’t recall anyone actually getting paddled but knowing it was possible sure seemed to do the trick! I don’t think this new way is working out very well. Perhaps time to return to more tried and true methods?
How is this a surprise cause?
I have the feeling that your gut is right on. The mother disrespecting her husband to the point where the kids can’t miss it is going to have a ripple effect. In this woman’s house-big time.
Cill’s insight is spot on. Thank you. I hadn’t thought of that.
I had no idea it’s that bad now. In first grade??! Problems at home and the knowing that authority has no teeth can lead to that.
If this is about Frivorcee Wannabe, she has trruly shot herself in the foor. Even if she gets straight with her husband, she won’t be able to reestablish authority with the kids.
Indeed Fuzzie, that’s the one. I agree re authority, but imagine if she splits? It will be a free for all then! 😦 lately things have been quiet, I hope that’s good.
Yeah not too surprising. But to the mainstream, what I said is probably downright scandalous! Feminism hurting children?!?! Sadly, yep and greatly.
Feminists run down children all the time, if said escapes being murdered in the womb then they proceed to call kids a burden, run down .mother hood etc etc
Bloom,
Could it be that the kids are giving her enough drama, that she doesn’t have time to think about frivorce? You are right. Now, they are all in the frying pan. Chase hubby out and they’re in the fire.
I had a thought after posting my last. If she settles down, she may have the younger ones turn around.
@ fuzzie, I think the kids are reacting to the dysfunction and I have told her – fix your marriage and the kids will fall into place. That’s the fountainhead.
Bloom,
That is the best place to start. The ball is in her court. To be honest, she has to be insane to consider dumping her Hubby. I think the kids realize at a subconscious level.
Model what a good wife is to her children she does not.
Feminism hurting children?!?! Sadly, yep and greatly.
True this is.
Own up to it they ever will?
Oddly enough, most men still respect their wives even when behaving poorly the wife is.
@ Yoda that is a very good point re husbands respecting wives…something women might ponder on.
Yoda has an excellent point. Once a man is committed, he’s in it,.
Indeed, disrespect is a highly communicable virus. Your post reminds me of something Antoine de St-Exupery wrote. In his novel “Citadelle,” which is really a philosophical medication in the guise of fiction, the protagonist is the ruler of a desert kingdom. At one point, he regrets mocking once of his provincial governors…calling him “a jackass in office”…even though the mockery was valid….because speaking in this way had encouraged an attitude of disrespect among the general populace.