This morning I stumbled across an article by a 28-year-old girl bemoaning the fact that nobody had put a ring on it. In fact, not even close.
She had tried Internet dating, matchmaking, being picky, not being picky, following “The Rules” and not following the rules. She seemed to get plenty of first and second dates but nothing went far beyond that.
A quick web search revealed the likely reason – article after article chronicling her Sex In The City style exploits throughout her teens and 20s. It was all there for the reading, the “empowering” hook ups, the one night stands, the pump and dump heartbreaks, the “go gurrrl” slut-claiming revelry.
She’d watched Carrie Bradshaw and friends and apparently moved to New York City as soon as she could to live out the script in real life. But unlike in the movies, apparently there’s been no Mr. Big happy ending.
Her excessive selfies over the years reveal the result. At 23 she looks fresh faced. Five years later she’s got the appearance of a washed up party girl who looks like she’s in her late 40’s, not her late 20’s. It’s unclear if she’s a heavy drinker or a herion addict but whatever it is, she’s starting to look a bit like Charles Manson.
Her many articles posted on xojane and other herd mentality sites show she’s steeped in the narrative of the “modern woman.” She’s explored her sexuality and likely profited short term by writing about the “journey.”
But here’s the rub – Google lasts forever. If I found all this in one web search, any man considering dating, much less marrying her would too. And guess what? Women might be ok with other women being sluts, but most guys aren’t. Call it a double standard but it’s a standard that isn’t going away anytime soon. (Plus, the majority of guys aren’t getting that kind of action, anyway. And the ones who are aren’t looking to put a ring on anything.)
Her story illustrates the cost of following the herd, before she was even old enough to realize what she was choosing, she’s pretty much sealed her own fate. At 28, she’s peaked. Even the hook ups are getting harder and harder to find.
Not surprisingly, her more recent selfies feature a new life partner – a cat.
Let those who have ears hear.
Redpillgirlnotes,
I think that she can recover. She is only Twenty eight. She has to give up the party lifestyle and get out of NYC.Unfortunately, the carousel is very seductive. It sounds like a lot of fun but, it’s superficial. She has to see that.
If she was that empowered, she wouldn’t care about not being married at only 28. She would know there’s more to life that finding someone to “put a ring on it.”
All so very true RPG.
Here are some relevant links that explain more,
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2015/10/19/hypergamy-and-the-city/
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2015/03/03/red-pill-classroom-the-double-standard/
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2015/10/21/2672/
“Even the hook ups are getting harder and harder to find.”
Only because she’s unrealistic about her SMV.
This is why the white race is dying out slowly. Not enough kids because women marry too late. Maybe one trophy kid. If a race is dying out, it’s not empowered.
I want a link to the article.
Herd-following is closely related to what Milan Kundera calls Circle Dancing:
“Circle dancing is magic. It speaks to us through the millennia from the depths of human memory. Madame Raphael had cut the picture out of the magazine and would stare at it and dream. She too longed to dance in a ring. All her life she had looked for a group of people she could hold hands with and dance with in a ring. First she looked for them in the Methodist Church (her father was a religious fanatic), then in the Communist Party, then among the Trotskyites, then in the anti-abortion movement (A child has a right to life!), then in the pro-abortion movement (A woman has a right to her body!); she looked for them among the Marxists, the psychoanalysts, and the structuralists; she looked for them in Lenin, Zen Buddhism, Mao Tse-tung, yogis, the nouveau roman, Brechtian theater, the theater of panic; and finally she hoped she could at least become one with her students, which meant she always forced them to think and say exactly what she thought and said, and together they formed a single body and a single soul, a single ring and a single dance.”
…and as I noted in comments to a post here
http://chicagoboyz.net/archives/50296.html
…the desire for circle-dancing often (usually?) includes the desire to punish those who dare to dance outside the circle.
Who is it, Bloom?
I’ll start the chant:
“Link! Link! Link! Link!”
(yes, I know there are hundreds of examples out there and this is just an illustrative example, but I like to know who exactly I’m talkinabout)
🙂
Fwiw, I’ve always felt like an outsider. Did I like the feeling?
Not really, but “insider” felt more lonely by far.
“If she was that empowered, she wouldn’t care about not being married at only 28. She would know there’s more to life that finding someone to “put a ring on it.”
Marriage not part of the “empowered” girl goal program? Isn’t that just another part of the approved herd narrative? Why wouldn’t marriage be as much of a goal as anything else? If she said her goal was to travel to Europe would you conclude she wasn’t empowered? Finding a life partner and reproducing and raising a stable family/legacy is kind of up there on the list of important life goals for many people. Men can do it later. Women (at least the smart ones) know their clock is ticking.
I think that there’s an echo in Bloom’s blog.
While I’m on the subject of “empowered” and approved herd tropes (thanks Ashley) there are a couple of others that bother me: “Monogamy is hard” and “Marriage is hard”. I detest those tropes because language paints how people see the world (example: Rape culture, another trope….in fact just about any word followed by the word culture has become a trope, it’s the new thing).
“I think that there’s an echo in Bloom’s blog.”
You asked for a link, but I started the chant. 😉
Only a small slice of men get to know what the carousel is like. However, we are becoming acquainted with the concept. They’s rather not have their noses rubbed in someone else’s behavior. Guys who women would fall back on to marry are going to get hard to find.
I don’t need the link. I get the general concept.
She’ll go back to the carousel, that is all she has.
This is one of her articles: https://medium.com/matter/the-dickonomics-of-tinder-b14956c0c2c7
Thanks Bloom. Just started reading. Oh lordy. What prize wife material!!
Wow. Yeah, I dont’ think she’s looking to get married.
I think she’s looking for a man willing to take care of her since she’s so used up.
Just following the breadcrumbs and reading a recent one of her interviews. This woman has some serious mental issues.
I wonder how many exoskeletons are in this arachnoid’s closet.
Liz, we can definitely be empowered by being married, as long as we realize that it isn’t going to magically make us happy and complete on its own. It sounds like her article vented her frustrations and stress about not finding someone yet. At only 28, she still has time. Women do have a biological clock that eventually expires when it comes to reproduction, but the fear tactic of getting married by age 30 is a scam. Unplanned pregnancies and abortions of women in their 30s and 40s are common and rising due to the fact that women mistakenly think their time is up. Not only that, her rush and stress about finding someone is likely to be sensed by men she meets, which isn’t going to come of as very attractive. A serene and confident demeanor will be better for her if she’s actively looking.
Empowerment means different things to different people. We’ve been together since high school (29 years) and married 22 years. For us, there could have been no better decision. Are there times when I (and the wife too) see someone attractive and wonder what that would be like? Sure, but I would not trade married life for being single. I can tell you that we have more and better sex at 45 than anyone single we know or work with. With the life we have, and 3 kids almost out of the house, we both are feeling very empowered these days.
We both skipped the carousel rides, but so far haven’t noticed.
Marriage is only hard if you make it hard.
I agree with most of that, Ashley.
🙂
Hurray suburbanmanlife! 😀
Mostly I object to the “marriage is hard” trope when it’s the female married herd speaking. I think men are smart to be wary.
I just hear it too much in my circles (married and divorces wives/mothers, mostly working women). “Marriage is hard”…..so obviously I’m miserable and make everyone else miserable. “Monogamy is hard”….so of course Chad at the gym swept me off my feet after I got purchased my new rack.
I love that suburbanmanlife! 🙂 I think that’s awesome! To many more years to come!
Yeah I don’t mean to pick on her specifically, more the general idea of where decisionsions young women make today can lead. She seems very lost.
In this article she in this article she calls out the new normal, non-relationships in a hook up world. https://medium.com/matter/against-chill-930dfb60a577https://medium.com/matter/against-chill-930dfb60a577
Liz,
I should have taken your word or it. She is a real prize, NOT. I am so glad that I am not on Tinder and I really shoud delete my OkCupid account.
From the “Against Chill” article:
“So, ladies and gentleman and people who do not believe in the binary, we have reached peak Chill. Or at least I hope we have. Because Chill is the opposite of something else too: warmth. And kindness, and earnestness, and vulnerability. And we need just enough of those things to occasionally do something so remarkably unchill as fall in love.”
This is so true. But it’s ironic as well because the lifestyle she (and other ‘herd followers’ like her) espoused and practiced enabled exactly the narrative and culture she now sees as harmful. But I guess it benefited her/them at the time.
Or let’s say she does meet a guy who doesn’t care about all the casual, can you imagine someone sayi g, “hey mom I met this girl who’s a writer…” And then she Googles her name! Yikes!
Poor Mom! That’s where all that grey hair comes from.
Maybe she can date only sons of women’s studies profs?
Analysis here it is,
Warning – no holds barred analysis it would be
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2015/05/09/the-egonomics-of-bitterbitches-yes-homely-skanks-are-using-tinder-to-get-attention-no-not-from-desirable-men/
Thanks. From the article, “nor do we like it when they mock the boundaries of our girlfriends who want to use Tinder only for traditional dating.”
Tinder is for traditional dating? Not for alphas. This broad’s activities verify what the manosphere says about women.
Too many miles on that pussy.
A woman’s looks mirror her general body health. Yes, unplanned pregnancies and abortions happen to older women sometimes, but not common after 35. Statistically, speaking, fecundity and the offspring’s health gradually drop as the mother’s age increases after 35. It’s not only a matter of fewer eggs, but more time gives disease processes more opportunity to damage women’s reproductive organs. So, not only does the chance of having a baby diminish with age for a woman, but there is an increase risk of genetic problems with the baby and of gestational issues because the mother’s reproductive organs are damaged.
“Not only that, her rush and stress about finding someone is likely to be sensed by men she meets, which isn’t going to come of as very attractive. A serene and confident demeanor will be better for her if she’s actively looking.”
No, she will get pushy about commitment. Confidence in a woman is irrelevant.
“Analysis here it is,
Warning – no holds barred analysis it would be”
Ouch. That was quite the public excoriation.
Up Your Chances Of Getting Pregnant At Every Age
http://www.parents.com/getting-pregnant/trying-to-conceive/getting-pregnant-at-every-pregnancy-age/
Maternal Age and Offspring Adult Health: Evidence From the Health and Retirement Study http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3881604/
Then there are health risks to the mother due to pregnancy which increase with her age.
http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/getting-pregnant/in-depth/pregnancy/art-20045756
I’m just full of good news today!
Bloom, I’ve got a comment in mod because of three links in it.
Yeah, fuglies have swarmed onto Tinder.
Likely Massey is now against the hookup lifestyle because she is no longer attractive enough to get alphas’s attention.
https://www.facebook.com/alanamassey
Hideous. She hit The Wall ™ early.
And (surprise!) all that casual sex isn’t even very good. Imagine that!
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/oct/10/sex-positivity-sexuality-ambivalence-feminism
I know she’s not intending to illustrate red pill concepts but she’s sure doing a fine job of it!
And again, for the record, I don’t mean to pick on her specifically, her experience is sadly an all too common one.
This is not the path to happiness and fulfillment. It’s the path of self destruction and disillusionment.
And again, for the record, I don’t mean to pick on her specifically, her experience is sadly an all too common one.
Let her problems be a warning to others.
If she sees the light, let her enlightenment be an inspiration to others.
Ms. Massey would look a lot better with an improved facial expression
Ashley, agreed women can find fulfillment within or outside of marriage. Marriage itself does not create fulfillment and marrying just to “be married” can lead to disaster.
In my opinion this girl probably would not do well in marriage until she gets some of her self-proclaimed “hot mess” ways figured out.
On the other hand, she seems rife w neurosis and anxiety, which were she on a stable relationship w a supportive partner (and not these fly by night ones) it’s possible that might help ground her. I have many times seen strong masculine energy help be the rock a woman’s emotional kite can tether to. Hopefully she finds that, and stops working this broken script in the meantime so if she does she will herself bring whole ness rather than brokenness to the table.
Call me Pollyanna but I believe as long as someone is still breathing, possibility to grow exists. Wouldn’t it be amazing were she to awaken to her folly, and start using her writing skill to help other young women avoid her path? I’d love to see that! And I truly do hope she starts loving herself better. Trading one’s body in hopes someone will then fall in love w her is a bad strategy. To many women it seems to be the only path available, a sort of dammed if you do, dammed if you don’t, but I think letting love and attachment come first, then physical intimacy, is how the female truly should proceed rather than the other way around.
Great minds think alike farm boy! May she awaken and share what she has learned.
Trading one’s body in hopes someone will then fall in love w her is a bad strategy. To many women it seems to be the only path available
I dunno about that. It often seems that women do the “trade body” thing as a shortcut rather than develop attributes that might attract a serious man.
Ms. Massey would look a lot better with an improved facial expression
Facial expressions are kinda under your control. At least a little bit.
Is marriage hard? its the most horrendous thing I have ever endured. Given my military life that’s pretty damn horrible; said record is fairly impressive because doing dumbshit and catching a round was more appealing then going home.
Few men report marriage being pleasant.
So yea Liz, marriage is hard; most marriages are no sex and low sex, making monogamy a nightmare too.
I have asked 6 men, and two of my three children, to kill me if I am ever dumb or drunk enough to remarry.
women who are a “hot mess” generally require a man in their life to fix their shit. However the kind of men who can fix their shit, already have their shit together and view the hot messes as a cum dump at best.
women who are a “hot mess” generally require a man in their life to fix their shit. However the kind of men who can fix their shit, already have their shit together
True this is
Understand this women should
Woman — fix thyself
True re “hot mess.” She’d have been better off to find him early, before she got where she is now.
On her blog in the post where she announced her book deal, a guy said he was honored to have been her first boyfriend. That’s the guy she should have stuck with!
I am probably the world’s biggest sucker for a good redemption tale. I’ll be keeping an eye on Ms. Massey. Hope she does me proud!
That guy should be castrated before he spreads his weak genes to the next generation
I think she’d be a nightmare for any ‘takers’, Bloom. I wouldn’t wish her on anyone.
Like I said, I am Pollyanna-ish!
Meanwhile, the youngest Bloomette and I dance in the kitchen while making dinner — to Dirty Deeds by ACDC. Oh vay! Good times!
Motley Crüe, Def Leopard, ACDC… When did this become oldies station stuff? 🙂 Life is short-enjoy!
Did this thread ever take off! Here’s something for the Bloomettes.
. apparently there’s been no Mr. Big happy ending.
Depends on point of view it does.
How so, Yoda?
Easy to be the Pollyanna when you don’t face life long alimony,child support for kids that aren’t yours. imprisonment on false DV charges etc etc.
Men cannot afford to be stupid and taking on a “hot mess” is pure stupidity
.
How so, Yoda?
Think from a male perspective you could
Good point, Ton. Well said.
Ah I see… 😉
Well then, I hope for her cat’s sake, she gets it together!
“Motley Crüe, Def Leopard, ACDC… When did this become oldies station stuff? 🙂 Life is short-enjoy!”
My type of music as well. Over the past ten years I’ve compiled a collection of old rock, mostly from the 70’s and 80’s. Some 60’s and 90’s also. All .wav files I personally ripped from CDr’s.
Some of those old lyrics are so silly, like REO Speedwagon.
There ar no checks on her attitude. My prediction is that she will never get off the carousel. I think that it is possible now, with so many singles and divorcees of all ages, for her to continue indefinitely. I can see her at age 18, still swiping guys left on Tinder.
“My type of music as well. Over the past ten years I’ve compiled a collection of old rock, mostly from the 70’s and 80’s. Some 60’s and 90’s also. All .wav files I personally ripped from CDr’s.”
Rush and Triumph are some of my favority bands from the past (well…and Tom Petty, and Guns and Roses)
The boys have taken up a big liking to Johhny Cash lately. 🙂
I kind of have to agree with Ton, Bloom. Don’t wish this person on anyone. She should never never ever have kids.
Imagine the damage this one woman could do to the world if she got married and had children. She’s really only doing harm to herself right now.
I meant that to read “at age 72” not 18. Sorry.
I just got through watching Karen Straughan’s slassic youtube video “WhyMen Aren’t Marryng” and realized that, in the intervening years, little has changed.
The author featured in this article is txic to men and, yet, she still fels entitled to her pick of them.
It’s okay if she stays on the carousel, Fuzzie. She’s providing a free service.
If she is pretty, she has the potential to be quite a wolf in sheep’s clothing. She can easily play the “nice girl” and fool an honest man into marriage. Women are actually frequently very difficult to vet. Hopefully she is truthful about her proclivity toward sluttiness so an innocent man won’t get victimized.
Some cities have stores that sell used music CDs. That and Amazon I used to obtain my collection. After ripping the tunes I want I sell it to the store for credit.
True, Liz. In one of her pieces she mentioned doing stripping and also some fetish sex work type stuff, so I suspect her issues go beyond garden variety carousel riding. She looks strung out, to me.
Poseidon true, if she hadn’t written so widely about her exploits she probably could dupe someone w an act. Probably good it’s all there on Google.
Change her name she could
Escape her internet past she might
Yoda,
If she wants to dupe some guy, she will find someone.
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She could still dupe a lot of decent guys: decent guys are normally to fucking stupid to cover their 6
Any guy today should Google a new prospect ASAP, I’d say! Check out her social media, too.
Ton, 99 percent of the time when a married woman says, “Marriage is hard” it’s some excuse to attention whore (“lookit how much I put up with girlfriends!”and divorce.
I’m reminded of Clinton, 3 months after he first took office, looking at the camera with a voice filled with faux sadness after running a campaign that he “would not raise taxes to pay for my programs”.
His words (paraphrasing): “I’ve worked so hard since i took office. Harder than I ever have in my life, but I have no choice but to raise taxes”.
It’s kind of like that.
That chick’s jaw looks like the Predator. Almost as much as Maria Shriver’s jaw.
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Wow Bloom!!!! Wow!!!!!
That first article scarred me!!
as a man in his late 20’s i see these types of sluts everywhere. Even the thought of marrying 1 would make me feel physically sick.
Im impressed with this website well done
Sorry to hear that this type of gal is all too common in your age group, Ian. I wonder how many of them watched Hannah Montana growing up? Miley sure turned out to be a right mess! Glad you like the site, feel free to chime in often and don’t be a stranger!