This morning I stumbled across an article by a 28-year-old girl bemoaning the fact that nobody had put a ring on it. In fact, not even close.
She had tried Internet dating, matchmaking, being picky, not being picky, following “The Rules” and not following the rules. She seemed to get plenty of first and second dates but nothing went far beyond that.
A quick web search revealed the likely reason – article after article chronicling her Sex In The City style exploits throughout her teens and 20s. It was all there for the reading, the “empowering” hook ups, the one night stands, the pump and dump heartbreaks, the “go gurrrl” slut-claiming revelry.
She’d watched Carrie Bradshaw and friends and apparently moved to New York City as soon as she could to live out the script in real life. But unlike in the movies, apparently there’s been no Mr. Big happy ending.
Her excessive selfies over the years reveal the result. At 23 she looks fresh faced. Five years later she’s got the appearance of a washed up party girl who looks like she’s in her late 40’s, not her late 20’s. It’s unclear if she’s a heavy drinker or a herion addict but whatever it is, she’s starting to look a bit like Charles Manson.
Her many articles posted on xojane and other herd mentality sites show she’s steeped in the narrative of the “modern woman.” She’s explored her sexuality and likely profited short term by writing about the “journey.”
But here’s the rub – Google lasts forever. If I found all this in one web search, any man considering dating, much less marrying her would too. And guess what? Women might be ok with other women being sluts, but most guys aren’t. Call it a double standard but it’s a standard that isn’t going away anytime soon. (Plus, the majority of guys aren’t getting that kind of action, anyway. And the ones who are aren’t looking to put a ring on anything.)
Her story illustrates the cost of following the herd, before she was even old enough to realize what she was choosing, she’s pretty much sealed her own fate. At 28, she’s peaked. Even the hook ups are getting harder and harder to find.
Not surprisingly, her more recent selfies feature a new life partner – a cat.
Let those who have ears hear.