One of my college roommates approached getting married with what I considered at the time, a very unromantic view. Rather than looking for love or to be swept off her feet, she approached the entire process almost as if it were a job interview.
She’s been raised in a traditional upper middle class family. Her dad was an engineer, her mom had a degree but stayed at home after marriage. She had two biological siblings and two adopted ones. She attended a private Catholic girls school and was just finishing up her Master’s degree when we met. Technically she had finished her classes but was doing her student teaching to gain enough on the job experience to get her certification.
I wouldn’t say I knew her well, and we only lived together about 8 months before she fulfilled her goal of finding someone, getting engaged, and getting married. I lost track of her soon after, so I can’t really say how that all worked out.
Looking back though, with a red pill perspective, I can see she realized then what I myself did not — that at 23 (from a male point of view) she was at the physical prime of her life. She guarded her virginity closely, and she bragged about it openly. (She had a long term, 3+ years, boyfriend in college who never proposed, so I often wondered exactly how “virgin” she was but…perhaps technically? Who knows!)
She was blonde, with big blue eyes, and a petite figure. She wasn’t drop dead gorgeous, but she certainly wasn’t unattractive either. She knew how to and consciously did make the most of the assets she had.
I can’t remember how she met her fiance, this was before online dating, but I do remember he fit her very detailed criteria. At the time it seemed so calculating to me, the “hopeless romantic” that she would choose her life mate based on such cut and dry things like his education level, current earnings, future earning potential, adequate but not jaw-dropping looks, and appropriate social status.
They went on a few dates, all the while she made it very clear to him that her goal was she was seeking marriage and to be a stay-at-home wife and mother.
At the appropriate 6-month dating mark, he presented her with the appropriate sized ring, in a socially approved “romantic” way (“surprised” her at a local park after going on a hike.) Truth be told, I am sure he knew that if he did not propose, she would cut him loose and continue her search. She was not at all bashful about putting her expectations out there, and she had a solid sense of her MMP “worth.”
The one missing piece, that he was not raised Catholic, was soon addressed when he enrolled in classes that would make him a confirmed Catholic by their wedding date.
They married in a traditional Catholic wedding, white gown, in the church, etc.
As I have said, the whole thing kind of yucked me out at the time, it seemed too calculating, and she seemed kindof shallow to me, so I did not keep in touch. Truth be told I felt for her fiance, who truly was a really nice guy, and worried she was getting the better part of the deal and he was signing up to be the draft horse to make her dreams come true.
Four years or so later I ran across them at a party at our other former roommate’s house, and was surprised they only had one two-year-old daughter by then, with no immediate plans for another child. They lived in the “right” neighborhood, had the “right” friends, were part of the “right” social circles. She had the life she wanted, had planned for, had aimed for. On the surface anyway, they seemed happy.
Looking back on it I suppose at least from her point of view, it was a red pill wedding. She recognized her SMP/MMP market value, protected it, promoted it, and cashed it in at her peak. Whether it was a red pill wedding for her mate, well that is another story I will leave to the guys to discuss.
Personally I still find myself thinking it was all a bit too formulaic and calculating. I would have preferred to see more evidence of “true love” or them being “soul mates” but who am I to judge? Especially after seeing many friends swept up to their doom by such feelings with guys who never offered anything more than a handful of Skittles and an, “I’ll call you…sometime.”
What do you think, reader? Was she wiser than her years, or did she play it all wrong?
Let those who have ears hear.
p.s. And so of course I had to look them up, via social media, and I see they have two children, a teen girl headed off to college and a pre-teen boy, and they are still together posting pictures of the family body boarding in the surf at an exotic location for New Years! To her credit, she pretty much looks the same now as she did then! And they look happy.