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I often hear women say good guys are hard to find. Interestingly I also know a lot of good guys who say they wish they had a girlfriend or wife, but they don’t have much luck with women. Where is the disconnect?

Women say it’s the men, men say it’s the women. But I think it’s more to blame on how gender relations have been turned upside down over the past 40 plus years than anything. Everything seems to be all backwards these days, and as far as I can see it’s not working out all that great, either!

I have even seen it in person. A former neighbor of mine has been chasing her “bad boy”  for several years now. Meanwhile she on and off dates another guy who is a really great guy — and he thinks the world of her — but she says the attraction just isn’t there. He’s good looking, has a great job, is a devoted father to his kids (he’s divorced), I can’t see what there is NOT to be attracted to! (And of course, when her bad boy is out of the picture or has once again left her in the dust, who does she call?)

One thing I have noticed about good guys is they are often pretty subtle, as in they often act more like a friend than a romantic interest. In fact I myself have had guy friends, great guys, who in retrospect I realize probably were hanging out with me not for company but because they were hoping it would turn into something more. But without them ever “making a move” I truly believed (before the manosphere clued me in) that they actually just wanted to be friends. Apparently from what the guys have told me, single guys rarely hang out with ladies they have no attraction to.

So ladies, if you want a good guy, my advice would be to take a look around at the guy friends in your life who just might be waiting for you to send them the green light while you are clueless that they are interested. Of course we girls are told over and over not to make the first move, but the trouble is the good guys have been told not to be too pushy, or a creeper, or to harass the ladies. And so…usually nothing happens.

And have you ever noticed that bad boys, meanwhile, seem to have no problem harassing the ladies? I mean flat out brazen bold about it. And they are rarely without a female companion –or several at once! (That’s exactly why one of the main concepts of “game” is to teach good guys how to act more like bad boys!)

Anyway not that I have all this figured out myself but I do know this: there are lots of good guys out there who are currently single and completely being overlooked. They may not be the flashiest guys in the crowd, but the best kept secret is good guys make great boyfriends and husbands!

Maybe some of the good guys around here can enlighten us: how does a gal get a good guy to break the ice? Is it bad to make the first move? Do guys really want to be “just friends” with the gals they hang out with most of the time? Have the good guys just given up? What would it take to get them to take the chance and how to do it? I truly do think we ladies are missing something here…