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attraction, battle of the sexes, commitment, courtship, dating, game, love, marriage, red pill, relationships, romance
If you are familiar with the Red Pill, perhaps you have heard the term “Game.” Different people define it in different ways, but in short the term comes from a book written on the topic of romancing and seducing women, and the basic idea is that by learning “game” a man can increase his odds of romantic success.
That may leave the ladies asking, “Is there such a thing as girl game?” I am glad you brought it up! In fact, like men, women can increase their odds of success in the dating and marriage marketplace by understanding what she can do to increase her attractiveness to the type of man she is interested in.
Interestingly, I have found that the advice from men on Girl Game is radically different than any advice you’ll read on dating or marriage written by women. Nor will it resemble anything you have read before in the main stream media or women’s magazines. However, it seems to me considering advice straight from the source is always a good idea — who would know better what men are really looking for than men?
With that in mind, here’s a collection of articles on Girl Game, by men.
Andrew at The Rules Revisited did a three part series on girl game based on age: tips for the teen years, the 20’s, and the 30’s. All three articles are well worth a read. If you are past your 30’s, I’d recommend reading all three, followed by this one aimed at women over age 40. (Beware: He doesn’t sugar coat things, so put on your thick skin first!)
In all of those blog posts he outlines “Female Game” as a three part plan of attack:
- Making yourself as attractive as possible
- Making yourself approachable
- Filtering out the men that just want to have sex with you from the men that want to date you
If you do nothing else, keeping those three points in mind is a great starting point to improve your Girl Game.
Here are two more articles on girl game, one from The Private Man and one from Roosh V. (Warning, again both require an open mind and thick skin. Proceed accordingly.)
As hard as some of this Girl Game advice is to hear, knowing and implementing this information will put you leagues ahead of your clueless female peers following the same old dumb advice from Cosmo, and getting the same old non-results.
After all, are you playing the game to play, or are you playing the game to win?
Feel free to add your thoughts on Girl Game in the comments. What works? What doesn’t?
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
Very nice post. There is some interesting ‘hardcore’ advice given here from the male perspective.
I disagree with one important point made though…
It was stated to lower your standards. I strongly disagree. Instead, take the necessary time to LEARN and understand what your standards really are. Most women I’ve encountered recently in the dating world were very out of touch with themselves. How can someone know what they want if they’re not even sure who they are?
Then answer, are you willing to bring the same things to the table that you’re expecting from a partner? I believe answering those questions will help you set a reasonable list of standards that you should not deter from while navigating the dating adventure.
Just my humble opinion.
If a woman is failing in the sexual marketplace, by definition she is over-valuing herself and therefore needs to lower her sights/standards. Lacking self-awareness correlates to this, but the dynamics of SingleWorld are that women confuse having sex with a man with being of longterm merit to a man. They should date men who are of similar market pull.
Amy Schumer makes a living talking about how much “dick” she pulls, but oddly, she won’t be marrying any Brad Pitt clone.
@ Dan, I think the word “standards” can be taken multiple ways. I don’t think in this case it means settle unnecessarily, as much as it means be realistic. If that makes sense?
Or in other words, if a gal wants a guy in the top 20% (an 8) but she is in the mid-range herself (a 5), she should do all she can to improve her appearance (weight, style, grooming) and appeal (be pleasant, be happy, be kind, be trustworthy, etc.) and then after she’s done all she can and has say increased her standing to the top 30% (a 7), seek a guy of similar standing, a 30% guy (a 6 or 7) rather than a 20% guy (an 8). Or don’t make improvements (stay a 5) and aim for a 50% guy (a 4 or 5). But don’t do nothing (be a 5), yet still hold out for George Clooney (an 8+). Ain’t gonna happen.
This explains that concept in a different way: http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/08/women-get-to-play-out-of-their-league.html
There is another consideration and, sadly, it is not age related. There are a lot of men out there who have had negative experiences at first or second had. Patience, understanding, and a willingness to be a team player may help.
Redpillgirlnotes,
I am still getting the warning when I use IE9 to find your site. Chrome gets me straight through.
What is the goal of “Girl Game”? Sex? LTR? (Or, alpha fux v. beta bux) The optimal game to be used depends on the goal–“Sex Game” (lots of makeup and slutty clothing) or “LTR Game” (lots of niceness and more modest sexual appeal). Girls want sex with hot guys just like men want sex with hot girls. Girls also want a man around the house when there is heavy lifting to be done. Different games for different goals.
There absolutely is such a thing as “girl game”. Seen it a few times. Unfortunately, there are very few women who have it anymore in Western countries. They’ve been led to believe their college degrees and careers and pant-suits are attractive to men by Feminists, rather than their femininity.
It’s gotten to the point where I sometimes even give tips to some of the younger women I date on how to be a “woman”, i.e. girl game … because society and/or older women no longer do so. I find that rather ironic.
Women are the gatekeepers of sex, men the gatekeepers of commitment. The measure of a woman’s true SMV is the quality of the man she can get to commit, not just have sex with her. And that requires girl game.
True gamer, I am not so sure that most women don’t get there are two paths. Many seem to think the chasing hot guys path will lead to marriage w a hot guy. When that doesn’t happen the gals (and their friends, Cosmo magazine, etc.) say it is the guy – he is immature, a commitment phone, a player, etc. rather than see she’s not playing the right game. I see it all the time.
Very true copperfox! I made that mistake myself before finding the manosphere and getting insight into girl game. I cringe to think how many dates I went on and talked mostly about my job, education, etc. not realizing to guys, that’s not really all that important!
and in some cases probably lead dates to believe I wouldn’t be family oriented, which isn’t true but I can see how it would come across as such!
Girl game is stone cold reality. I have known several women in my life with really tight girl game and to watch them in action is like watching poetry in motion. I’ve seen them turn otherwise strong men into drooling idiots, not because of their beauty but because of their charm and je ne sais quoi that marks those women who have tight girl game.
Girl game can be learned and it’s the same as when a guy learns game: it can change their life.
I once knew a young lady named Annie, she was about 20, homeschooled and still living at home. She’d literally never set foot in a school except to vote. She was a 6 on a good day and it didn’t help things that she was already thin. Her features were plain although very symmetrical. She didn’t have much in the way of curves, although what she had was nicely appointed. I’d guess a B-cup on the top end and enough in the way of hips so you’d know she was a woman, but that’s about it. Her best feature was her hair, which was long, really thick and very black.
She was somewhat introverted and grew up in a very religious (Gothardite ATI if that tells you anything) family so her options for meeting men were severely restricted. Her mother was and still is batshit crazy and her father is a hopeless gamma.
She who must not be named has really tight girl game and she was a solid 8 when I put a ring on it. Annie came to her and asked her advice and they spent the morning together talking while tending to domestic duties. At lunch they asked my advice. I showed her how to do Hindu squats and told her to do 500 every other day and to buy a pull-up bar and some arm-straps so she could start doing hanging knee-raises to work her abs. I demonstrated that too and showed her how different variations would work the different muscles in her abs. She was scandalized when I suggested she get a prescription for a high-progesterin birth control pill such as Ortho-Novum 1/35 (don’t ask how I know stuff like that) to bump her breast size up into the C-cup range.
While she did the things I suggested and it helped her appearance, what she did that made more difference than everything else put together was sit at her mirror every day for an hour practicing her smile. She literally learned how to have a brilliant smile and it transformed her from a wall-flower into a woman who could light up a room by walking through the door. She also adopted a reserved, somewhat continental attitude and learned how to communicate with slight movements of the head, shoulders and facial expressions. When the smile came it was dazzling and it was a reward men would work for.
She developed a saucy, impudent grin with a raised eyebrow that caused men to forget they were nervous and really want to be in on the joke. Forget about “bedroom eyes” and stuff like that, what she did worked. She went from being a wallflower to the flower surrounded by buzzing bees. She learned how to speak far more effectively with body language than with words and she actually didn’t speak very much, which meant when she did speak the men listened.
She who must not be named told her to never challenge men. Always ask questions about the guys (everybody loves to talk about themselves) and if asked an opinion on something, smile and suggest that someone else knew more about the subject than she did. Those three things are the three most potent aspects of girl game I’ve ever seen. Having a radiant smile helps too.
Two years later she was considered by local guys to be a 9 and the most marriageable woman in our area. She met a guy from Nebraska at the Republican National Convention and blew his little boat right out of the water. He had an SMV of 8 and an MMV of 10, which had a lot to do with his faith, his family’s political power and his farm, which is measured in sections instead of acres. She married him 6 months later and last I heard she’s got a small herd of boys and a couple of girls who have already learned how to smile.
What pleased me more than anything else was hearing the story of how her husband sat her mother down on her first visit and told her very bluntly that if she wanted a relationship with his wife and his children she would toe the line and respect his authority. His family, his house, his rules and if she didn’t like it the door was over there. I suspect it was the first time she was ever slapped down and put in her place like that. She got with the program but isn’t allowed to visit very often.
I think there is value in teaching girls about men and teaching them anti-game so they can defend themselves, but by the same token I think it is just as important to teach guys about girl game. Between the two I think girl game is the more dangerous, but that’s just because of the way women can be when there’s no accountability. Tight girl game in the hands of a BPD/NPD woman makes the idea of giving idiot children automatic weapons and sending them out to play a pleasant thought in comparison.
Thanks for sharing that Toad! Very good example, sounds like a smart gal!
Girl game.
1. Be nice.
2. Be pretty.
3. Don’t get fat.
4. Be available.
@ Deti Well said! I might add:
5. Don’t wait until you are 35
The above four points work even if you are 35.
I’ve said it many times. I just do not understand women complaining about being unable to meet men, unable to get men, unable to find a man for marriage.
I know a woman, a former colleague,who is 45, divorced, no children. She has been divorced 10 years after her husband cheated on her. She claims she’s unable to find any men other than (a) players who want only to fuck her; and (b) gross, greasy little divorced gamma/omegas who couldn’t find a pussy with both hands.
She’s an associate professor of sociology at a fourth rate state school in the Midwest. She earns very high five figures, has lots of free time and disposable income. She outearns most of the men she would/could be dating. She is attractive enough to date men her age who are average in attractiveness. She is barely attractive enough for players to slum it with.
Her problem is her standards are ridiculous. She wants a man who outearns her and has no children. She wants a man who is willing to travel with her or to let her travel freely at least a month or two out of the year, sometimes on business, sometimes on leisure. She doesn’t cook, instead chooses to dine out at least 5 nights a week. She wants a committed relationship; to remarry.
She wants a cosmopolitan, well read, educated, independently wealthy travelbug foodie. (Someone like BuenaVista, who is lightyears above my former colleague in SMV and MMV.) I am, of course, describing a total unicorn. A man she will never get because she simply isn’t high enough value to attract him. Her standards are out of this world insane. She suffers from the delusion that her professorship and achievements and degrees and teaching awards are attractive to men. She believes her peripateticism attracts men. I’ve tried to correct her, gently. It of course isn’t working. C’est la vie.
Yeah, to be clear, I don’t mind if a girl has a career or whatever. The issue is that doesn’t increase my sexual attraction to her, and many women seems to think it does.
It’s a simple matter of projection – women find men with status, education, money, etc. attractive, so they think men must find the same things attractive in women. They could not be more wrong.
Yikes Deti, perfect example! I didn’t mean to imply women over 35 shouldn’t apply Girl Game, too. If anything, they need it more. I guess I was trying to say women shouldn’t wait until their biological alarm clock is going off to think about getting serious…
Copperfox, yes I agree. It’s not that my being employed was unattractive to men, it’s just that I was spending 80% of my time talking about something I thought would increase attraction when instead I should have been talking about how much I love to cook, that I am a Master Gardener, love kids, etc. Wrong “sales pitch” so to speak.
Deti: “She suffers from the delusion that her professorship and achievements and degrees and teaching awards are attractive to men. She believes her peripateticism attracts men. I’ve tried to correct her, gently. It of course isn’t working. C’est la vie.”
I sometimes wonder how much of a person’s perception of his/herself is scripted early in life. It’s a lot easier to be realistic it one has had to face reality early and humble if one has already learned humility.
Those things are probably harder to adjust to later in life.
Just to add, it’s not necessarily all projection on her part, she’s just unable to adjust to new conditions.
Here is an example (we’ll call her Susan)
Susan, sexy 28 year old with advanced degree, talking to her date:
“All I want is to help the world! My advanced liberal arts degree is a stepping stone…blah blah blah….”
Her date: “That is truly fascinating, Susan. I admire you for (whatever she said…he isn’t really listening and just hopes she shuts up).”
Susan, not so attractive version of herself 17 years in the future, talking to her date:
“All I want is…(same stuff)”
Her date: “Yeah, okay…um. I’ll be busy for a while, but um…keep in touch.”
@ Liz, exactly…..
Just to add, it could even be genuine fascination.
What a guy might find fascinating about a 28 year old hottie (metal sculpture? Really?! AND you have a doctorate? That’s impressive…) isn’t so fascinating for the older, unmaintained version of her.
@ Liz, also true.
Deti also raises the point of “standard” as far as gals who have lots of education, or a great job. They want a guy who is more successful than they are, but that narrows the pool after a certain age even smaller – how many 45 year old MD’s are there out there, and the ones who are likely either 1.) have been frivorced and are wary or 2.) are dating younger women and probably wanting kids if they don’t have them. Add to that he’s Dr. McDreamy, and a meh gal his age is about as appealing as…
The woman Deti describes is assuming (projecting) that her career success and income is as valuable in the smp/mmp as a man’s, but it’s not. And unlike women who factor looks in as a part of smv/mmv but balanced w status, wealth, etc. so he can get a hotter/younger babe, the reverse is not true for women — her income and career standing don’t translate into being able to snag a hotter guy than herself. Unless he’s that rare gig also type, and then if so he’s going to want her to support him, which she may not want to do out of pride.
Women in this situation would be wise to see that she probably won’t may be able to snag a guy both more attractive and accomplished than herself (as she feels she deserves) but she may have to choose one or the other, or perhaps a less reduced value but in both areas. If instead she holds out for “what she deserves” (in her mind, not reality) her guy that meets the list a half mile long won’t materialize. Result? Cat lady.
Finding someone interesting/sympatico because of their genuine accomplishments is I think quite different from finding them interesting/sympatico because of their educational credentials. (The latter is pretty much our present-day version of Titles of Nobility)….if one is himself interested in sculpture, then a sculptress in metal would obviously offer an additional point of psychological connection. It doesn’t replace or create physical attraction, but it does create a point of uniqueness/differentiation and hence an incentive for taking things further than a ONS or a brief fling.
I agree, Bloom and David Foster. 🙂
In a marketplace that puts Amy Schumer on a pedestal, it is hard to imagine a need for girl game. There are schools in Eastern Europe that teach it to women but, it wouldn’t sell here. Consider the old trick of dropping a handkerchief, that would be too much effort.. All a girl has to do now is load her photo on Tinder.
Still the same warning with IE9. Chrome works fine.
Fuzzie, I use a Safari browser and haven’t had trouble loading the site. I think Explorer is a little old. Recently I downloaded software (I needed) into my Mac (it’s kind of old, but not that old) and now sometimes I can’t get online or the computer seizes up. Think it’s a plot. They want us to buy new and make it so the old stuff doesn’t work.
Now it is time for me to perform some savvy kitchen game… 😛
I’m also of the opinion that the effectiveness of girl game is correlated to male intelligence, but following a sigmoid curve rather than a linear function. While girl game is effective across the board… OK, a picture says it better than words:
http://wp.me/a3Hat9-ai
OK…. not what I intended. I’ll try again. And do keep in mind that I have nothing more than anecdotal evidence that this is true. I welcome any of the men to agree or disagree.
For me, girl game is about: Having enough to offer a man without pandering or pedestalizing, filtering out the bad guys and attracting the good guys, keeping him around, and finally maintaining self satisfaction as well as relationship satisfaction.
An important part of this is staying on top of guy game, puas, etc, and being at least one step ahead of them.
Liz,
I don’t doubt that you are right. Sell new equipment with new software is the eventual goal.
1. Be nice.
2. Be pretty.
3. Don’t get fat.
4. Be available.
All go home now we can
I think quite different from finding them interesting/sympatico because of their educational credentials
Go to university many do.
Learn to think many do not
It’s a lot easier to be realistic it one has had to face reality early and humble if one has already learned humility.
So true this is.
Best to spoil children not it would be
I question the core premise of the OP. Women don’t need ‘game’, certainly in the sense that we apply the term to men. Men are not hypergamous, entitled, or solipsistic; a kind and attractive woman will attract them, and they (the men) will proceed to do all the work.
That said, how many kind and attractive women do we know, who also express an appreciation for men, and know how to interact with them in a charming way?
Our culture does celebrate a Lena Dunham or Amy Schumer; a while back Audrey Hepburn was preferred.
Deti’s prof friend has made the celebration of herself her life’s purpose. She’s hungry to find a romantic man with a 911, to better recognize the wonderfulness that is herself.
Maybe not.
***
Anyway, I would emphasize for the females that they have no idea how rare it is to encounter a charming, friendly, upbeat woman who clearly enjoys men.
The attitudes expressed here —
“Having enough to offer a man without pandering or pedestalizing, filtering out the bad guys and attracting the good guys, keeping him around, and finally maintaining self satisfaction as well as relationship satisfaction.
“An important part of this is staying on top of guy game, puas, etc, and being at least one step ahead of them.” —
are extremely unattractive to any man with options, and I would suggest a cold reboot.
“Having enough to offer a man without pandering or pedestalizing, filtering out the bad guys and attracting the good guys, keeping him around, and finally maintaining self satisfaction as well as relationship satisfaction.
“An important part of this is staying on top of guy game, puas, etc, and being at least one step ahead of them.” —
These are the sorts of things I’d expect to read at girl/feminist blogs, a certain one of which I’m quite familiar.
“Having enough to offer a man without pandering or pedestalizing, filtering out the bad guys and attracting the good guys, keeping him around, and finally maintaining self satisfaction as well as relationship satisfaction.
“An important part of this is staying on top of guy game, puas, etc, and being at least one step ahead of them.” —
These are the sorts of things I’d expect to read at girl/feminist blogs, a certain one of which I’m quite familiar.