In a comment on yesterday’s Alpha or beta post, commenter Ton once again brings up a post-worthy point that how male/female dynamics SHOULD work (or we are all told they work) and how they DO work are two very different things.

He says:

“If chicks grooved on the sort of guys men like and respect, betas would be held in high regard and there would be no man-o-sphere; if chicks fucked dudes who did limp shit like hand out 900 flowers, betas would be popular with chicks and there would be no man-o-sphere.”

The fact that we are here, discussing things like why chicks dig bad boys while good guys sit home alone or how women are constantly wondering where all the good guys have gone and/or chasing players means, well, he does have a point there.

Ton often refers to this very observable phenomenon as, “adjusting to the tactical reality on the ground.” Or in other words, it ain’t the 1950’s anymore.

For the men, the takeaway point is that blue pill “good guys” often finish last. Not that it means one needs to be a bad guy, but that good guys might want to examine the tactical reality on the ground and act accordingly. Or simply go his own way and craft a life not centered on a woman, whether that means forgoing them entirely or forgetting about the whole love-marriage-baby carriage script and crafting a relationship that works for him.

Ton, for example, is a new father as well as the dad of two grown kids. He’s not married to the latest arrival’s mom though, having been down that road before and still paying the alimony for it. Instead he insisted on NOT marrying. That way if she bails, she at least does not also bail with half (or more) of his financial assets, and paternity laws still guarantee him all the same rights to his child, or more, than as if they married. Without the incentive to divorce-rape him for cash and prizes, perhaps she’ll be more motivated to stick around and work things out (and retain access to the assets/protection/goodies Ton offers so long as she does.) He has another girlfriend as well, a non-traditional poly lifestyle they all knew they were getting into up front and everyone was on board with. Let’s call it the, “more the merrier” approach. Girl #2 may be having Ton spawn #4 this year if all goes as planned. It seems to be working for them. (Both girls are 20+ years younger than his 45 years old, as well.) This is how Ton has decided to face the “tactical reality on the ground” and while it may not work for some men, it seems to work for him. And for him, defining his own path as a man, that’s what matters.

For the ladies, I think this “adjusting to the tactical reality on the ground” might look something like this: she realizes that most girls are playing a losing game by chasing the bad boys/false alphas so she consciously seeks a guy that not only she is attracted to, but who is the kind of man other men admire as well (a true alpha/greater beta.) Rather than chase the players, she seeks a keeper, but at the same time (and this is KEY) she seeks one who she is actually attracted to above and beyond simply for provision and protection, thus avoiding setting them both up for a future falling out when he “just doesn’t do it for her” anymore. (It’s not OK to use people, ladies, and it doesn’t work out long term for anyone, yourself included.) For most women, marriage is ultimately the best position she can hope to be in, especially if children are involved. (Some women are also choosing to forgo marriage, so long as that is a conscious decision and she is not expecting the taxpayers to provide and protect for her, I see no harm in this either.)

But wait…that’s a contradiction, right? It’s a disadvantage for a man to marry, but an advantage for a woman to?

Yep. The two sexes have always had different agendas. That’s part of the complexity. Coming up with something that works for both, perhaps a deal where nobody is totally happy or gets everything they want, but everyone gets enough of what they want, based on the tactical reality on the ground, is the sweet spot?

What do you think? Please share in the comments!