In dating advice today, women are often told to date more than one guy at a time as a way to prevent getting too attached to any one guy until he gets attached to her.
I’d say it’s bad advice. Why? Because I have heard guys in the manosphere say so over and over again.
For one, men value loyalty. A high quality guy who finds out you have several other irons in the fire is more likely to move on than engage in some silly bidding war for your affection. Why should he? Next!
Two, women may be projecting here. Thanks to a concept called “preselection” women will often be more attracted to a man who is with another attractive woman. Personally, I consider any guy with another gal off limits, but Red Pill field studies show this often works in a man’s favor. Why? Women assume (perhaps wrongly) that other women have done the due diligence and so it’s a form of subliminal shorthand to indicate a guy is high value. However, men say the reverse is not true for women.
Three, men don’t share well. If he’s OK with you dating (and especially sleeping with) other guys while you are dating (and/or sleeping with) him, he’s already determined he will not commit to you — ever. Even if he has not said it. Even if he denies it.
Four, it invites drama and games. Men don’t like drama and games.
Five, it triggers an ancient and long held fear in men of being cuckholded — that should you get pregnant, the baby might not be his. Women don’t have to worry a baby “might not be hers” so women don’t really understand how deeply ingrained and visceral this repulsion is in men.
Six, men who tolerate women dating other guys often do so because they are themselves seeing multiple women. Plus, if you are busy with other guys, that gives him time to seek out other women! Is this really what you want?
Seven, there’s a reason there is historical precedence of a man having more than one wife, but there is not the reverse. Why? Because while a man can reproduce simultaneously with as many women (and their wombs) as he can manage, women can only be pregnant with one child at a time, so there is no biological advantage for him of you having more than one mate. Today, with birth control, sex and babies may not be as tightly connected but our brains are still wired the same as 1000 years ago.
Eight, it puts you in the “not marriage material” camp. No guy wants to marry the town bicycle, as the old saying goes. When it comes to settling down, even in these “modern times” guys truly care about this — men prefer women who have had fewer sexual (or better yet no) partners over more — no matter what your gal pals tell you.
Nine, it likely will cloud your judgement as far as any one guy. Be honest — are you dating multiple guys because it’s a way to psychologically deal with the fact that one of those guys (the one you REALLY want) won’t commit to YOU? Are you dragging out something you yourself really should close the door on? Better to date one guy at a time, both of you make a decision one way or the other if it’s possibly going to progress or not by date three or so, and act accordingly. Don’t drag this out.
Ten, guys just don’t like it. High quality men especially won’t tolerate it. Don’t you want a high quality man rather than one who is too timid to draw the line in fear of losing you?
The “date multiple guys at a time” advice is just another example of women thinking they can act and behave like (Alpha) men. It doesn’t work that way, especially with Alpha men.
What do you think? Is dating multiple guys at a time good, in your opinion? Why or why not? Do you have stories of it working out well? Badly? Please share in the comments.
(Usual disclaimer, not all men are like that, not all women are like that. These are generalizations that apply “most of the time.”)