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A conversation with my oldest daughter about how she can “set herself up to win” at school by changing a few habits that are currently working against her got me thinking, we could all probably examine our lives and ask ourselves, “Am I setting myself up to win?”

So often, we get out of life what we put in. If we aren’t getting the results we want, it’s often because we’re not (actually) taking the steps needed to get there. Wanting something and taking the action needed to get there are indeed two different things!

Someone complaining about there “not being any good men out there” might want to reconsider her approach of meeting men primarily in nightclubs and other pick up venues, for example.

Another person who isn’t getting the response they were hoping for via online dating could stop clinging to the attitude of “if I have to lose weight to attract a man, then I don’t want one!” and realize that most things worth having take effort and work. She likely doesn’t want an overweight and unattractive man herself, so why would she think a man would be willing to overlook the same? (Remembers ladies: Female attractiveness is highly controllable.)

The gal who meets great guys only to have the relationships fizzle out with time might want to be truly honest with herself and examine if there are things she is doing that make her less appealing over the long haul (does she have a difficult personality, an entitlement attitude, unattractive lifestyle or personal habits that she could work on eliminating, etc.)

The gal with a long requirements list of what “any man who gets my hand” needs to do and be, but doesn’t have an equally long list of what she brings to the relationship herself, may want to shift the focus from what she’ll “get” to what she’ll “give.”

The person who complains, complains, complains about what’s lacking in her life but is taking absolutely zero steps to change any of the things she’s complaining about may want to ask herself, “How’s that working for you?”

Or in other words one can’t show up to life without their homework, with no pencil and paper, ignore the helpful advice of teachers and other advisors, not listen to what the assignment requirements actually are (not what they wish they were or think they should be), wait until the day before the term ends to ask about making up for missing assignments, and expect to get an “A” just because they showed up, kept the seat warm, and were “being themselves!”

Sure, it’s harder than blaming others or blaming circumstances. It takes effort to invest in self improvement and personal growth. It takes courage to do and be different. But victory goes to the bold, my friends! Set yourself up to win!

And when you feel discouraged or wonder if the effort is (or will be) worth it, remember, 80 percent of the people aren’t even trying. So by applying yourself, having a plan,  working your plan, and not giving up you are almost guaranteed success!


Can you think of examples where you have seen this concept in real life? Please share them in the comments below.