Tags
attraction, battle of the sexes, blue pill, courtship, dating, gender, love, marriage, red pill, relationships, romance, sex
A couple who frequents my biz offer an interesting Red Pill vingette.
Now I don’t know them well, but they are friendly and with each visit a little more comes out. They are an attractive couple, he is tall and trim, with a bit of an Alan Alda circa M*A*S*H vibe. Not super hot, but not bad looking by any means. She is very natural yet very attractive, wavy brunette hair, striking big green eyes, curvy but not at all fat, athletic and fresh faced, as if she just came from a spirited hike in the woods.
He’s a psychologist, she works for a group that aims to conserve rural land. They are happy and light and like to crack jokes, poking fun at themselves as well as at the absurdity of the world. They seem very fun.
They often stop in on their way to work out together at the gym, or to go out exploring nature, or some weekend couple’s time activity. Sometimes they bring friends, mostly they come alone.
It’s hard to say how long they have been together, but my gut says not very long. If I had to guess, I would say they met online and have been married less than two years. My guess is they dated for a year or so prior to that based on how they act with each other. They don’t have the “We’ve known each other for ages,” vibe couples seem to get – yet. (I will see if I can find out more of their story next time they stop in.)
They are affectionate, yet reserved. I am not sure I have ever seen them actually touch each other in public, and certainly no PDAs that stand out. Yet they have a definite fondness for each other, with a hint of a paternal vibe. Something tells me they have an active love life.
It can be hard to tell ages, but at their last visit I slipped it into the conversation out of curiosity. He revealed that he is 43, she is 28 (although very poised and not at all immature or girlish, regal almost.) I saw the twinkle in his eye and said, “A perfect age difference,” to which he readily and wholeheartedly agreed.
They are an example of a Red Pill truism, that men tend to hit their highest SMP/MMP mark later in life than a woman, while women tend to sooner. I get the feeling that pre-education/career he was not likely a ladies man, although he is natural enough in conversation. I suspect she’s at the peak of ripeness in her life, although I am sure she will continue to develop and mature with age. However in youthful beauty, she’s right there at the cusp.
They don’t have children together, but he said he does have a 20 year old of his own. They don’t plan to have kids, he announced and she shook her head in agreement. I get the feeling that these two just want to enjoy life and each other. (Although it will be interesting to see what happens as she nears 35 or so, when the maternal urge often seems to kick in full force even in women who have not had it before.)
If you were to chart these two on a graph with each at their SMP/MMP peak, they’d both be there about now, which is exactly what the Red Pill predicts. They are a matched set. I predict a pretty cushy life ahead.
Or in other words ladies, when the Doctor picks his wife, she’s likely going to be younger than he, better looking, and she’ll be quite thrilled with her hypergamous catch.
Ladies, you would not be unwise to start looking for your love match in ernest starting at or before age 25. And it wouldn’t be bad to aim a bit older than yourself, as he’ll likely be more settled and ready to be looking for his match as well compared to someone your own age. To guys her age, she may not stand out or they may still be in casual dating mode, but for a man around 40 she would be a definite score! Not to say people of the same age don’t get together, but when he was scanning profiles of 40 some year old women (likely with added life complications) versus ones of ladies in their mid to late 20s who likely has less relationship baggage, odds are the guy will choose as above. Had she been tied up with a guy her age who’s not ready to commit, she may have missed him. It’s something to ponder and to set yourself up to win accordingly.
Not to say it can’t happen, but the idea that a gal can wait just like a man can to settle down with an upper shelf guy rarely works out in her favor, while for a man it more than likely can. (Or in other words, would she have married a Doctor at 41? Maybe, maybe not…)
What do you think?
They don’t plan to have kids, he announced
Programmed to fail as a couple. Intelligent, good looking and facing a social and legal landscape in which he has to settle for a son he probably didn’t get to raise because he’s (hopefully) intelligent enough to recognize that getting married is a threat and having children within a monogamous marriage system controlled by the state is simply asking to be a paycheck dad.
Women brought this on themselves and the proof he’s blue-pill is he legally went and monogamied her.
If he had any real assurance that he wouldn’t get divorce-raped and suffer what he’s probably already suffered, she would be cheerfully preggers right now and they would be working together to create a successful family. Got a solid GenX paired with a Millennial, which should be worth something in terms of his GenX tendency to reject the innate self-absorbed selfishness of the Boomers combined with the idealistic willingness to follow blindly Millennial wife.
But, no… they don’t plan to have kids, he announced. to her agreement.
Fail.
The future belongs to those who arrive to see it. Solution? BUNS IN OVEN.
@ Toad time will tell… the no babies edict surprised me as well, honestly. I think tho she may be his baby — and he doesn’t want to share!
I hope that it doesn’t turn out as Artisanal Toad fears. It’s still early days.
I think the point of this post was to make women aware of the advantages of considering a n older man. This desire for contemporaries may be something that starts in high school. There, you wouldn’t think of socializing with anyone else. The ten to fifteen year age gap seem to work well in Europe. As far as the generalized SMP value map goes, they are matched and both are on the down slope of the graph, so they will remain well matched in that regard.
Wome should get serious about pairing up earlier than they do now. By leaving it till the last minute, there is every chance they could miss the bus. As men age, they get used to being single.
Yes fuzzie, my point indeed… Trying to point out the difference between male and female smp/mmp peaks and how this couple illustrates that.
I hope they stand the test of time. That is yet to be seen, but at the moment anyway they seem well matched and like they could make a go of having a happy life! Let’s hope!
5th paragraph from the bottom, I think you mean “maternal urge.” 😉
Thanks for catching that! Fixed 🙂
I did read it all the way through 😉
The couple sounds so happy together, and I’m glad. I think I’m biased to my own marriage experience though lol… it’s been nice growing together, going through having nothing together, seeing him get to where he wants to be in his career, I think I’d almost be jealous for not getting that time with him if I had met him when he was 40, and missed seeing the growth and changes. Or missed seeing him become a father and amazing dad.
But at the same time, I’m sure it makes her love him in a more possessive way that ignites their passion. It’s definitely a red pill romance.
Dragonfly,
Marrying early is not that popular anymore. In the past, it meant staring out with nothing and building a life together. I think what is standard now for most men is to live in celibacy in their twenties and be there for women when they want to marry in their thirties. Current women want a finished product.
If a woman expects to marry a good man–and by that I mean what a woman considers a good man–then she needs to be a good woman–by a man’s standards. A large part of that male standard is youth, and you cannot get that back. Time, time; ask me for anything but time. This doctor waited and got a younger woman, and if a woman his age was waiting for him to be a finished product, she waited too long and is not in the game anymore.
The Shadowed Knight
“The couple sounds so happy together, and I’m glad. I think I’m biased to my own marriage experience though lol… it’s been nice growing together, going through having nothing together, seeing him get to where he wants to be in his career, I think I’d almost be jealous for not getting that time with him if I had met him when he was 40, and missed seeing the growth and changes. Or missed seeing him become a father and amazing dad.”
I think the same.
I wouldn’t change a thing…though I’d always thought I’d marry someone 15 years older (exactly this couple’s age gap). That would have been the mid-thirty range at the time.
But really, when I turned 35 I couldn’t imagine having anything in common at all with a 20 year old (and the stupid would grate on me fast).
At any rate, I dropped most of the stuff on my “must have” list pretty quickly after meeting Mike.
It’s interesting that the doctor was a father at 23.
@ Liz, yes I agree re the age gap. Even with her maturity for her age, I do wonder if that is ever an issue? I think the spread between 20 and 35 is likely more drastic developmentally than 28 and 43.
However I do think there’s something to being the same or similar age that’s very nice, too. And being together from a young age. A song comes on and you both know instantly you were juniors in high school when it came out, for example. You get each other’s obscure cultural references. Etc. It’s good so long as the guy is commitment minded (like Mike was) at the time, then same age can work great. Then you grow together! I think it’s more an issue when gals are chasing guys who are not commitment minded in the 20s that’s the issue… Than it’s the ages. 🙂
I too wondered about that story, dad @ 23? Maybe I will learn more about that in time too!
@ dragonfly I see lots of happy couples in my day to day. I see not happy ones too, of course. Some of the happy ones have been together for 40+ years and they still hang on each others every word. I treasure them when I see it, bc it reminds me while perhaps too rare, it does exist! Lucky are those who find it 🙂
I wonder what the 20 year old thinks of Dad’s 28 year old hottie wife? 😉
Good points tsk, both that re time and also not waiting too long. Choosing a man w potential and then supporting him is also a good way to go, as you say get re: finished product. That would be the approach Liz and Mike took, for example.
Agree with the sentiment and in general … its true.
But think this match is doomed to fail in blaze of destruction … for the MAN. In a couple more years, when she’s pushing 30 her attitude will change and she’ll realize that maybe she wants to be a mommy after all. All it takes is a little “accident”. Next thing you know he’s “Dad” for a kid he didn’t want and when the “kid” is a teenager … he’ll be wanting to retire.
Then after the “kid”, the new mommy will decides that … you know what … work sucks … and she’d rather have a second “accident” and be a stay at home mom. Next thing you know … beta bucks is ejected and pays for kids he can’t be around … because he can’t EVER FEEL SAFE because all it takes is her word to the cops and his license is revoked, he’s a child predator, sex offender, and off to prison or maybe it would just be domestic abuse … you know … in a few years calling your Wife a “bitch” or something else she doesn’t like will be a Class I Felony. And in jail … a dude like that (weak, pussy) would never survive; so essentially it would be a death sentence. And sound’s like he’s smart enough to figure it out … if he goes to prison its a death sentence. So … for his own safety … he’d pay the ransom and stay as far from his own kids as he could.
Maybe I’m bitter … but seen it played out a million times.
If I was him … I’d get a snip-snip if he seriously doesn’t want kids. And I can tell you again … once she hits 32 and decides its now over never … she’ll end with the doc and have whirl wind romance and end up married/preggy in 6 months or less OR she’d just cheat on him to get preggy AND THEN DUMP HIM. And then force have him to pay for the kid anyway because he made her do it; enter the Hamster.
And none of the insanity could ensue of course except for one very LARGE GUN POINTED AT HIS HEAD. All it takes is a judge/lawyer and the GUN AT HIS HEAD WILL FORCE HIM TO PAY FOR A KID THAT AIN”T EVEN HIS. Happens every day in the good ole U. S. of A.
Yes. I took the effing RED PILL … and it still don’t taste very good.
Sorry to rain on your parade ms bloom … but that guy’s life is a train-wreck waiting to happen. Hope he enjoys the sex with a young hottie for the next few years … but after that … if he goes thru what most men do … he’d prefer to have a bullet to the head.
It just don’t make sense for men to get married in our society anymore. And please people, please don’t mention … the dude’s probably got a prenupt … all that is a red flag to the criminals that control the family court … ASSETS TO STEAL !!!!!!!!!
Yeah, the Red Pill still taste’s like crap … maybe I shoulda taken the Blue one.
Rocket, I can see that, and I also worried that around 30-some she will change her mind on the child thing and either frivorce or “oops” or whatnot. Let’s hope that she’s not that stupid. She’s got it made in the shade — so long as she doesn’t tear it down with her own hands.
legit post from such a pretty little thing. this is a semi regualr topic at Camp Ton
Girl#1 hospital report; recently stated every good looking girl her age is either married or dating a man 10 or so years older. Young doctor ladies are dating older doctors. #1 seems like most young guy docs head off to the semi big city and they are dating men who have established, or well on their way to, practices. The few younger guy docs are working like slaves and not really dating. The rural hospital has these student loan payment plan but the grants or whatever mostly go to girls. Or girls do most of the applying.
Girl#2 reported her lady shipmates are mostly dating older men as well… and targeting the MARSOC and RECON guys( you are welcome my SOCOM brothers, one of who is is my age and dating a really good looking 29 year old thanks to us)
Ours is the second largest age gap we know of; the 1st? A guy I know in the bar owning business is 63 with a 36(ish) year old live in GF…. yea the wall is coming but she is still a hammer and works hard to stay that way.
Our Speculation? As we know, women like accomplished men for everything, esp LTR. The economy is cutting younger men out of the dating market while at the same time driving women to look for economic security/ LTR’s. Thats on top off the other factors we have talked into the ground.
We live in an affluent county (supper zip-code and all) which happens to be rural enough farms and churches make up most of the large buildings. This age gap seems to be just fine with the local folks, though the South is historically low judgement on such things.Living together is a bigger deal then the age gap
Legit point TSK
I enjoy the youthful silliness of Girl#2. Its part of the appeal. Mostly I keep her around because of her ass. her …. lack of maturity? has its appeal. Remember what men want in a home life? More or less an escape from killing dragons all day. Young girls bring that and other things
@ Rocket, this unfortunately is a true life example of what you describe:http://larrybrownsports.com/college-football/lane-kiffin-wife-layla-divorce/294495?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=larrybrown
Beware the cute little kitten that grows up to be a man eating, family wrecking cougar
I have seen power of the maternal urge in my own family; one of my cousins had apparently no interest in children but she changed completely and had a child by 34. The red pill view is simply admitting that human nature exists.
RJ’s Maxim #47: all a ‘boyfriend’ really does is stop a girl from finding a husband.
I am 34 year old MD. It was a long road, and I just finished all of my medical training and I am on the cusp of starting my career. I am starting my own medical practice. I have had a string of causal dating and sex since I was in my early 20’s and would be considered somewhat of a ladies man. I had one serious relationship in medical school and training to a fellow classmate. It didn’t work for various reasons but taught me a lot about being a relationship, one being that if it feels right just commit and start a family, love your partner, don’t lie, and sort out the details as they happen.
I recently met a beautiful 20 year old girl who is mature beyond her years due to her upbringing. She has no interest in partying and riding the carousal. She has been looking for an older guy who is not a man child that wants to be a supportive husband, and she wants to start a family now and be a supportive wife. She has told me at length that girls in there 20’s waste peak fertility and there beauty on losers, partying, and casual sex when they should be focused on finding a good husband and creating life. Needless to say, I am smitten with this girl and she is of me. She knows I am a real catch and wants to marry me. Well, I am going to do just that and start having children with her soon after getting married. She and I both want a big family and I will be able to support all of them with my job. She is playing her cards right and she knows it.
The SMP graph is correct. We are both at are peak and are both gonna cash in on each other and start a family. I couldn’t be happier. So ladies beware, don’t listen to the siren call or ride the carousal. Search for a good husband while at your peak. Your life will be rich with the life you create.
Thanks for adding that Bevo, erfect example, and many happy wishes for you and your family! I love a good love story 🙂
I’m glad she didn’t want kids, just because of how old he is.
“When compared to a child born to a 24-year-old father, a child born to a 45-year-old father was 3.5 times more likely to have autism, 13 times more likely to have ADHD and 25 times more likely to have bipolar disorder.”
https://www.autismspeaks.org/science/science-news/study-ties-dad%E2%80%99s-age-risk-autism-other-mental-disorders-kids
Other studies have put the autism risk even higher.