Tags

, , ,

I don’t know exactly when it started, but there’s a saying that captures perfectly something I’d like to talk about today — “The battle of the sexes.”

This phrase, and I believe our culture in general, holds this view that men are out to get women, and women are out to get men, and that both genders have to always be on guard against the other in some type of epic never ending battle.

But what if they didn’t? Imagine how much nicer of a place the world would be!

And you know what, I have come to realize there is no battle of the sexes. It’s all a big scam. There is no need for a battle of the sexes. So I say let’s forgo it! Let’s start to approach each other and the world with the assumption that the other gender is not out to get you. Today. Right now. Right here.

Much of the confusion is caused by this — regardless of what “gender is a social construct/something you learn not something you are” people say — the male and female minds operate drastically differently. That doesn’t make either one “right” or “better” or whatever, but to deny this basic fact is the root I believe of much of the trouble.

When I started to visit Red Pill and manosphere blogs, I immediately noticed this. Luckily I have spent a lot of time around guys and I could see immediately that while what they were saying on first glance came across as very raw and even offensive, in reality what I was seeing is this is how guys talk to each other, all the time, every day — and they don’t get upset with each other about it! Male communication is very straightforward and there is little “sugar coating” involved. Men speak in generalities, and they rarely take personally what another man says. (Women rarely see this “man to man” communication style, because we usually can’t handle it! So to be able to see it, to hear what men TRULY think and what they will say to each other when we women aren’t around, is actually a rare and wonderful gift!)

Women communicate very differently. Women are masters at the unsaid, the implied, the indirect, and the smoothed over. When women talk to each other, they rarely directly confront each other, call each other out, or just say it like it is. In female communications, doing so would be considered highly unacceptable. Female communication is all about the nuances, and there is usually a lot of sugar coating involved. Women speak in anecdotes, and they often run what is said through a filter that translates that to a personal level, thinking if it’s not true for them, then it is not true.

The trouble often starts when men and women try to talk to each other in their own natural style (which of course they naturally do!) Especially so when the topic is a highly charged one — such as male and female intergender dynamics, relationships, love, and the like. Those conversations are sorely needed, and can be very interesting, but when those participating forget they are speaking to a mixed-gender group, unintended trouble can begin.

(For example, in my real life I work with a woman who is always pondering divorce, even though in reality she has very little in life to complain about, and I have probed and asked her to be sure before coming to this conclusion. I worry she will blow up her marriage, only to find “Eat, Pray, Love” is a bad life strategy, not to mention she would also blow up the lives of her four children in the process, for very minor reasons. Anyway, once her husband and her were here, and we were talking, and red pill type stuff came up. I could see she just didn’t understand what he was saying, and rather than realize he was speaking in general, she was taking it all personally and getting upset. I started to serve as a translator, rephrasing what he was saying into “girl talk.” It worked! She got it finally, and he was amazed that I understood. He literally said, “See, that’s what I have been TRYING to say all this time!” Their problem is mostly one of not understanding the communication styles of the other gender. They don’t need to divorce (or frivorce), they need to learn the other’s language!)

I started this blog to try and help translate Red Pill concepts into a language that would be understandable and unoffensive to female readers, as I strongly feel women are not getting this information elsewhere in many cases, and also because (let’s face it) if they read the Red Pill and manosphere blogs by men and for men, they would absolutely freak out and so much so they would likely be unable to see the forest from the trees, to absorb the information that could be so helpful to men and women struggling in relationships today, and more than likely they would reject it altogether.

That’s why the tone here is vastly different from other Red Pill blogs, and why for the most part in the comments it’s much less of a lunchroom food fight, no holds barred, discussion. My hope is that it can be a place where men and women can come together, have these discussions, and walk away with a better understanding and appreciation for each other, and the concepts of the Red Pill.

Discussing Red Pill topics is in itself another hurdle, as many people would almost rather do anything than look at the sometimes ugly truths about human beings and human nature that it reveals. People would rather believe “it’s not like that” or “I’m not like that” much of the time, than to admit what one who is truly looking can plainly see, on a macro level in our society today — there’s a lot of problems and things that aren’t working. The Red Pill is pointing out that the Emperor has no clothes while for the most part the rest of the world claps and cheers the Emperor’s new suit!

Facing the Red Pill means letting go of the coping mechanisms, denial, pretty little lies, and social salve we rely on to get through the day in an unfair, unjust, often brutal world.

I would like for this to be a place we lay down our weapons, check our guns at the door, assume the best not the worst, and try to extend love and understanding toward each other even when we disagree. Even when we don’t like what is said. Even when we don’t like what we hear.

And the reality is, I have very little time to monitor the comments in this blog. I have an extremely busy real life, and while I do this because I feel passionately that it needs doing, I do not get paid for this and every minute I spend here is a minute taken away from my family and my work. So if for no other reason, please behave yourselves because I don’t have the time to translate, shepherd, or oversee  each and every comment.  I read them all, but as of late I am spending way too much time trying to keep the comments from melting down and I really don’t like that. You are all my guests here, in my virtual living room, please do your best to match the tone I try to set myself in your comments and discussions with each other.

Some of us have been around here a long time, even longer than me. I would advise newcomers listen to what they have to say, as they have a lot of experience and knowledge to share, male and female alike, and like me they deeply want to share it, they really want to help make the world a better, more functional place. We try to remember that some here may not have any background in the Red Pill, and we are more than willing to share and teach concepts we have discussed over and over before, but not with those unwilling to listen or even consider the Red Pill point of view objectively.

Some are just stumbling across the ideas we discuss here, like I once did, like everyone here once did. (To me, it was shocking, horror! But I also knew deep down, there was truth being shared. I am glad I stayed to listen and learn.)  To you I would advise resisting the urge to debate or correct every statement made, but simply to ponder it, share your opinion if you like, be willing to ponder what is said about your opinion, and try to go with the flow, fitting into the “culture” you are visiting rather than try to change it. If you don’t like what you hear here, that is fine. If it offends you highly, simply please just move along and find a blog you do agree with rather than hijack our discussions and disrupt them.

Ladies, I want you to comment here. I want you to learn these things that have helped me so much. But please also realize that when you first begin to comment here, men will likely automatically assume you are a troll or that you are here to argue and fight. Far too often, that is the case, and so that’s why until you prove yourself otherwise, that’s likely how you will be viewed. Prove them wrong by being a lady. Don’t take it personally. Men have to prove their worth before being taken seriously by other men all the time. Again, it’s a gender thing!

I think we could all learn a lot from each other, if we extend the olive branch, and keep it constructive. So let the truce begin!

 

 

 

Advertisements