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bad boys, battle of the sexes, break ups, casual sex, commitment, dating, divorce, hookups, love, marriage, red pill, relationships, romance
Frustrated by dating, marriage, relationships, or lack of today? Try flipping the script.
Why? Pretty much the entire modern dating narrative is the exact opposite of what works!
For women: be feminine, follow the advice in this blog’s many posts (this being #200!), revel in your “woman-ness.”
For men: be masculine, and what the reds pill guys advise (I am not sure how to summarize that but feel free to try in the comments!), and revel in your man-ness.
There’s a lot more to it than this but basically what everyone else is doing, don’t! Do the opposite.
It could hardly be any worse than what is happening today, right? Worth a try! Trust me…what have you got to lose?
Please share your thoughts on what works or doesn’t about the modern day script in the comments!
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
i can’t speak to dating …
but … in my marriage … my husband likes when i do things for him that he likes – things like keeping my hair long, certain ways i wear my makeup, certain clothes he likes to see me in. sometimes he just likes me to be in the same room with him when he’s working from home, even if we don’t talk (hence why i get to be on the computer a lot in the evenings sometimes). he always says he likes my eyes and the way i look at him. there is certain vocabulary he likes at different times.
basically … i know there are things i like that i want him to do, so i know there are things he likes that he wants me to do … and to the best of my ability, i do them. it’s usually the little stuff. … and, i do not keep score. ever. EVER.
i will say it’s been very interesting being married twice. there are similarities in marriage – sharing a bed, sharing a bathroom, etc. but … the two men are very different … have different likes, different ways of doing things, different ways of feeling appreciated. i’ve had to learn these things about my second husband. so … i would also say to learn your man, learn his likes and dislikes, his personality, and accommodate those joyfully.
and do not compare him to other men. ever. that does nothing good for him, and it does terrible things for your perception of him.
i will also add … there are things that *i* felt very important when i married my husband that were not important to him … certain housekeeping things, etc. it would make him angry when i would stress over things that weren’t important to him (even though they were very important to my first husband).
so there have certainly been adjustments i’ve had to make. i’ve had to let go of certain things that i thought were important to him b/c they weren’t. idk if that makes sense or not.
It does make sense Ame, I am glad your hubby expressed what was impt. to him, vs. what you *thought* or were taught were impt. to a man. Every man is unique, as well as has much in common with most men, and a woman should study hers (and men in general) like a book! Knowing all that makes a relationship run much smoother. And also I like the idea that you are thinking about what you can *give* not what you can *get.* The getting comes, w the happily giving! 🙂 Some people are better matches than others, something to sort out going in so you won’t have to deal later w/ someone going out!
This sounds like my advice to married men. Read books of marriage advice for husbands, note them carefully, and then do pretty much the reverse.
Sad, isn’t it Julian? So many people are trying, trying, trying but they are working the entirely wrong play book! Thanks for adding that and welcome!
I’ve tried doing the opposite approach when it comes to dating and relationships. Usually if in my last relationship I was the initiator…in the current relationship I take a step back. I try to do something different by learning from the last relationship.
What I’ve come to realise, is that there is no formula to relationships and the person that commented above made a valuable point that ‘every man is different’ and that ‘we should never compare him to another man’. Every relationship should be approached as a clean slate. Its just so hard though.
Indeed pieces! That you are even thinking about these things is a sign you are on the right path! Welcome!
Congratulations on your 200th post. Keep the hatetruths coming.
Lol, you too Nikolai — I am going to assume that is a nod of approval? 🙂
I am new to this blog and I like what i see. But I a have not thought much about what works. For me being in an environment that was supportive to family was a help. Changing that environment was a harm
Avraham, welcome! Good point — surrounding oneself w positive role models and choosing friends carefully. (ladies, avoid the man-bashing/hubby-bashing cluckfest types like the PLAGUE) Surround yourself with people and situations that support relationship/marriage/family success!
While I have found dating frustrating, I shouldn’t comment beyond what I read somewhere else about things in general. Success can be dangerous because it confirms suspicions. Overcoming failure is what teaches you about what really works.
Who wouldn’t want to hug a teddy bear every night, Fuzzie? 🙂 You are an overlooked gem! I still hope you will meet a most awesome someone and that she will bring often lots of good food for you to enjoy!
“Avraham, welcome! Good point — surrounding oneself w positive role models and choosing friends carefully. (ladies, avoid the man-bashing/hubby-bashing cluckfest types like the PLAGUE) Surround yourself with people and situations that support relationship/marriage/family success!”
HUGE! choose your friends and close friends VERY wisely! sift through advice and keep what’s good and discard the rest (discard pile will be a LOT larger 🙂 )
Bloom –
“And also I like the idea that you are thinking about what you can *give* not what you can *get.* The getting comes, but not in abundance w/o the giving! :)”
i cannot control what i ‘get’ … i can only control what i give.
Speaking of food and something a gal can give… ask about his favorite dishes or ones with a special childhood fond memory and then make them for him often! My guy has a favored b-day cake his mom always made for him. He didn’t have the recipe and his amazing-sounding mom he adored is sadly gone now, but I looked it up and made a close facsimile. It was a hit on his b-day and it has been a house favorite, requested by my kids at every possible opportunity, since! Each time I make it for him, I fine tune it further based on his feedback 🙂 It’s fun and he likes it. Win-win!
Bonus: He taught me to make real whipped cream, too, in the process! (So much better than the can stuff!) The first time I made the cake (a two layer version rather than pan) I used whipped cream from a can to “frost” it like he remembered, but the whip from a can just turned into sliding melting disaster mess in minutes. (although it tasted good still!) We laughed, and then he showed me the next time how to make whipped cream from scratch. It stays fluffy and light but doesn’t melt and slide.
This recipe is not exactly it, but close. Try it, I swear you will not regret it! http://belleofthekitchen.com/2015/04/03/sunshine-cake/
piecesofme2016said:June 22, 2016 at 7:37 am
“Every relationship should be approached as a clean slate. Its just so hard though.”
yes, so very, very hard. my first husband did a lot of bad things. the man i’m married to now often says, “I’m not him.” (especially when i react to something in fear. i no longer have to live in fear).
It looks good. NO wonder it is a house favorite.
Imagine that, but then add homemade whipped cream! Ak. Yum! 🙂
He also introduced me to really GOOD chocolate covered caramels… yum! (Trader Joes has some great ones!)
Ok that gal’s blog has some other good ideas — like this one! Yum! http://belleofthekitchen.com/2016/04/21/easy-skillet-lasagna-recipe/
FOOD!!! RPG, feed your beau food he can’t get anywhere else and you have him forever.
My longtime lady was drifting away, but fortunately I found the red pill and changed the script. Now I tell her what I’M doing on the weekend (we don’t cohabitate), and invite her to come along. If she can’t attend – – as sometimes happens at the last minute, due to her family issues – – I still enjoy the event solo. When I plan something special, I don’t tell her the details or ask her a lot of questions, she either accepts the invitation or not. It re-ignited her interest in the relationship, this take-it-or-leave-it attitude where I don’t ask permission or sometimes even inform her of the plan. But, this approach was SO counter-intuitive to my prior blue-pill experience in a marriage to a micro-managing control freak.
I’ll avoid gloating over how it also recharged her libido to the point where she nearly drags me into the bedroom…oh, wait, I already gloated. Sorry… ; )
I would say that superficial girliness matters less than core femininity. Being too weak to help him change a tyre or spot during weights or carry groceries does not compensate for a masculine and brash attitude, if anything they are both downsides. Wearing a pretty and delicate dress can only be pulled off when the situation won’t have you constantly worrying about damaging it. Cultivate core femininity and you don’t have to wear the mask of womanhood.
Good for you Shark, happy to hear it! And welcome!
Wow Bloom 200. Your in the big now.
To all the new ones, welcome and dive in. Have a taco. NO Bear, not for you, for the first timers. Beware of the silliness, not as bad as Camelot but close. And the speech habits of the short green master catching it is. 🐴
And the speech habits of the short green master catching it is.
Have that effect I do.
Good it is
Yes at work now speak it I do without thought
Wired looks getting I am
thinking they are smacked in the head I am
Horseman – a natural jedi you must be!
Wonder if harder to overshare in Yodish it is?
Bloom, when are you going to flip the script and turn this into a mommy blog?
I’m feeling a disturbance in the force…. it centers around your blog.
Artisanal Toad,
Not funny. You reminded me of Sunshine Mary. I am still mad at Matt Fourney for doxxing her daughter.
Fuzzie, let the lady respond as she wishes.
@AT I guessi don’t get where you are going w that? I would actually not mind writing about parenting stuff but if I did so it would be under a new and different blog, not this one. This one has a very defined focus. Maybe when I hit 365 posts I will publish it as a daily red pill devotional! Lol.
A daily red pill devotional for women, that is. Husbands and boyfriends could buy it for their partners as a “gift!”
Kidding! Actually the only women who are going to get this stuff are ones who are truly seeking the answers within. Otherwise it would be like a guy getting his overweight wife a gym membership… Perhaps well intended but likely to not be warmly received as such.
As the book says (I paraphrase lazily and w/I looking this up…so from memory…) some seed will fall on hostile ground and never root, some will sprout but then quickly die, and (hopefully) some seed will fall on fertile ground and grow strong and set seed itself. It’s all one can hope for, really. Some. Even one. Or even effort at all, regardless of results. Better than none from not even trying. Yes?
Just checking in. From Saturday, June 26, 1993 to Sunday, June 26, 2016 my lovely wife and I, as of today, have been married 8402 days. Celebrating our 23rd wedding anniversary!
Congrats, Larry G. 🙂
Mike and I started dating about 25 years ago this summer. 🙂
I just left the kiddos for a week by themselves to go to a class.
No problems (as far as I can see, knock on wood…perhaps they hid the destruction well). Mike took the course also. His is a lot more intense though, so his class lasts three weeks.
We had an entire week to ourselves, but we were so punch drunk from powerpoints, and kind of feeling low morale about this new assignment…it should’ve been like a honeymoon, but it wasn’t. It was more like they put saltpeter in our food.
I approach the next couple of years with a great degree of trepidation. 😦
Congratulation Larry,
Here is to the next 23!
Liz,
I may be saying this with an axe to grind, I don’y want to lose you as a commenter, but if this thing requires that from the wife, it may be so intense that it will turn the family upside down. Ambition can have a steep price. I have paid it once or twice.
Anyway, it is good to hear from you. .
thanks Liz & goFigure. We have had a pretty good marriage and hoping for perhaps 7 more years to make an even 30
something for entertainment perhaps?
Schitbiscuits
Once upon a time a farmer and his sons lived in a beautiful mountain valley. It was a good farm, a productive farm, where wheat grew in abundance in broad fields. He also had gentle milk cows that provided their daily nutritional needs. Every morning the farmer would send one of his sons to the barn with an empty pail. The son would place the pail under a cow’s rear end and patiently waited for it to schit into the bucket; then hurry back into the house with his steaming pail in hand.
The farmer and his sons then carefully formed and made schitbiscuits from the excrement in the pail. After baking they came out of the oven golden brown and crispy, still warm and flaky. With enough butter and jam put on the schitbiscuits one could almost always choke down one or two of them for a meal.
Day after day they made fresh schitbiscuits. Of course no one ever noticed the foul odor of the buckets of schit nor the revolting stench of the baking schitbiscuits in the oven; so they were content with what they had.
One morning as they were at the table having breakfast of fresh schitbiscuits and milk, the postmaster brought a letter which contained amazing news from a friend who lived in another valley. The farmer and his sons gathered together and read the letter slowly. The friend had discovered that schitbiscuits could be made totally without schit! It was cheaper and just as nutritious; however it was not nearly as easy as making the original schitbiscuits. This new schitbiscuit used a substance he called “flour”. The poor farmer had no idea what this flour was, nor how to get some of it.
Luckily the letter went on and explained in detail that the main ingredient was already on hand, wheat! The farmer only grew wheat because it was sold to the merchants for money, and money could be used to buy more cows that produced more schit!
One of his younger sons became so excited at this news that he begged his father to allow him to make “flour” that very day; the farmer was naturally a bit doubtful but permitted his son to try if the boy wished.
The son carefully followed the instructions contained in the letter. He took a sharp knife to the nearest wheat field that was an hour’s walk away and began cutting the ripe golden wheat plants. Then he gathered his harvest and carried the bundles of grain back home, he was very tired by evening so after a supper of cold leftover schitbiscuits and milk he slept.
Very early the next morning, the boy rushed out to his stacks of wheat. Reading the letter again for guidance he began to gently beat the heads of wheat from the stalks into a mound of grain; “threshing the wheat”. It was hard work. The sun blazed down on the boy as he tossed the grain up into the air; the breeze separated the light husks from the tiny grain which fell back down; “winnowing the grain”.
Another day ended and the boy was nearly exhausted as he barely touched his supper. His father had kept a few of today’s best and freshest schitbiscuits for his son’s meal, but the boy did not eat. This was very disturbing to the farmer; perhaps he would give his son counsel in the morning about tempering this desire for making “flour” after all. Truly, making schitbiscuits was so much easier and was a respected family custom; his father and his father’s father had all lived on schitbiscuits their whole lives.
The boy carefully put the winnowed wheat into a sack, he left not one single head of grain on the ground. The next step in the letter required the grain to be crushed and ground into a fine powder; “milling the flour”. He looked in amazement at his work, he had created “flour”! Now all that was left for him to do was to make schitbiscuits from his flour.
Using only his “flour” and no schit at all, the boy made his schitbiscuits; then placed them in the oven and waited. At first the odor was barely noticed by the father as his son’s flour schitbiscuits baked, then became a powerful noxious smell that upset his stomach. Such a stench from these new schitbiscuits! This son of his would actually eat these schitbiscuits?
Conclusion: The father and the boy’s brothers were content to have their daily schitbiscuits made with real schit, they thought the boy had lost his mind and mocked him for leaving the custom and food of his family. The boy however never ate another schitbiscuit, he grew to enjoy the wheat biscuits that he made with his own hands, he also was content with his food.
Oh dear Liz, that does not sound good 😦 I hope that all goes much better than it seems! Hugs!
https://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://dailym.ai/290bwdo&ved=0ahUKEwiDi9e7xMnNAhVM6IMKHccTA5UQhlQITw&usg=AFQjCNHNizVYcmsY64sPWuC8uuC6oIDSvg
this is just sad. And that it made a Cosmo article.
Horseman,
Good to see you back. I am sorry that you got insulted. I caught it for calling him out and became his next target.
Anyway, don’t let one stinker silence you.
About the video, yes it is cringe inducing. Cosmopolitan deleted another for all the bad comments it got.
Liz – i am so sorry 😦
if there’s anything we can do, i can do, let us know. meanwhile, i’ll be praying for you and your family.
Thanks everyone. 🙂
Well, we’ll see how things go. Another life adventure, and all that.
Liz,
You are well thought of in these parts. Nothing but good wishes for you.
Thanks, Fuzzie. 🙂
Your welcome! Now, I’m blushing. 🙂