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attraction, bad boys, battle of the sexes, blue pill, break ups, casual sex, commitment, courtship, dating, divorce, love, marriage, red pill, relationships, romance, sex
My apologies for not writing much lately, I have been busy with real life endeavors as well as enjoying some summer fun!
But to keep things going, I wanted to share an oldie-but-goodie post from the red pill blog “Married Man Sex Life” on the topic of what a “Red Pill Woman” looks like. The entire original post can be found here: http://marriedmansexlife.com/2012/08/what-exactly-is-a-red-pill-woman/.
He lists 20 qualities a truly “Red Pill Woman” would posses: (Hope he won’t mind me re-posting the list here for ease of commenting upon!)
Have a look and share what you think in the comments!
“(1) Understands that physical appearance and her looks are what attracts men’s sexual interest. She stays in shape and while every waking minute she may not be dressed to the nines, neither does she get mistaken for a slob. She “looks good for [insert age]”
(2) Understands that all her skills, effort, kindness, intelligence and “inner beauty” et al, is what creates relationship comfort and makes her someone capable of having a functional relationship with.
(3) Understands that what she does with her vagina always has some sort of consequence.
(4) Understands that there is a sexual marketplace, and that women have an earlier peak of sexual desirability than men do. That the point (1) stuff comes very easily to young women, and that the point (2) and (3) stuff pays off over the longer term.
(5) Understands that men are the gatekeepers of commitment and that committed men place extreme value on sexual loyalty.
(6) Doesn’t need a man to save her from her own folly. Will not tolerate a relationship with a man that requires her to save him from his folly.
(7) Is aware of her own sexuality and understands what in a man attracts her and turns her on. Namely hypergamy, Alpha Traits, why she may Fitness Test and so on.
(8) Can delay gratification. Can pass on someone or something that is fun for now, but painful later on.
(9) Can articulate things that she did wrong in prior relationships. Even if the guy was clearly the greater cause of relationship failure, she can acknowledge things she could have done better, or differently. She can think consciously about her relationships, rather than simply follow her emotions from moment to moment. Has a learning curve.
(10) Understands that relationships are not static, that effort and intention to maintain them is an ongoing requirement. That while she can reasonably expect the man to take the lead, that doesn’t mean he’s the sled dog and she can curl up and take a nap on the sleigh.
(11) Expresses genuine relationship discontent, clearly and directly, allowing time to correct the relationship issue. Does not complain to everyone else but her husband, does not act out instead of addressing problems, does not plan and/or execute an exit strategy before stating her discontent.
(12) Lets go of resentment for relationship issues that are now resolved.
(13) Understands that divorce sucks and is more akin to getting treatment for cancer than having cosmetic surgery.
(14) Likes men in a general sense for who they are and what they do, rather than detesting all men in general and making an exception for the tiny few in her nuclear family.
(15) Understands the risks both men and women take in having serious relationships, and is willing to negotiate ways to verify trustworthiness in each other. Sees doing this as evidence of true commitment rather than an insulting invasion of privacy.
(16) With her chosen partner, is deeply and passionately sexual.
(17) Is aware of her own personal kink and can communicate her sexual desires. Takes responsibility for receiving her own sexual pleasure.
(18) Has a sense of humor.
(19) Respects the boundaries of other peoples relationships and doesn’t attempt to mate poach.
(20) Doesn’t keep the Red Pill a secret from those that need it.”
It’s a high bar these days, for sure, but is a path less traveled that I believe would lead such a woman toward a lifelong stable relationship versus a lifetime of serial monogamy or casual hook ups and unstable pairings.
Anything missing? Anything you agree/disagree with? Do you know any women like this?
Yesterday I had an interesting discussion with the SIW tech gal I wrote about a few posts back. She was going on and on about body positivism, and how men just don’t seem to be getting that message. I pointed out that men will NEVER get that message, that men are visual creatures, and that looking good is an important asset a woman can cultivate (or not.) She’s actually slim and in shape, so easier to say so to her than an overweight gal, but I could tell it was food for thought for her.
The same gal later was telling me a story about a woman her family knew for years who supposedly married the second most wealthy man in the US at the age of 60, and how her dad would point to that and say, “There’s hope for you yet!” (She’s 46 and never married, no kids.) I probed to find out more about this woman… and sure enough she recalled, “She was amazingly beautiful, and always dressed well and was striking even at age 60. She was also very interesting and intelligent. I remember looking at her as a child and thinking, I want to be like her when I grow up.”
So there are at least two of the points above, in real life examples!
RPG,
You were missed! Good to see you back.
Reading the post and all the qualifications, it sounds not so much like a red pill woman but one that is grown up.
There may be hope for the SIW techie. Good.
Strangely, I actually have many of these traits myself, and would only be iffy on 2 or potentially 3 of the points (need more clarification or description to see if I agree or not).
I’m going to agree with Fuzzie here.
This sounds more like a normal, responsible adult than a RPW.
I have a problem with #6, because in the long run, sooner or later the man will have to save her from her own folly. AWALT. God knew that, which is where Numbers 30 came from.
If #7, #17 and #20 were worded differently, can you tell me how this list would be something other than common knowledge for women at the turn of the 20th Century?
And if “Red Pill Woman” can reasonably be translated as “Doesn’t have her head up her narcissistic and self-entitled ass” then what does that say about modern women? I’m willing to bet an honest response will at least hint at the possibility of hunting licenses.
I have to add something. Men would like a grown up woman but, they are hard to find. How is that so few mature into adults? This may be another example of how feminism backfired.
That is true, it is sad these traits are not “the norm” today but are hard to find 😦
How is that so few mature into adults?
Because a lot of people, women and men alike, are lazy and…if things are just handed to them without a need for hard work…they will be fat and content.
It is the rare few (like quite a few of us!) who get more satisfaction from reaping the fruits of our labors.
I am not going to say that we have gotten to the bottom of it but, this is a significant impediment to a healthy relationship.
I pointed out that men will NEVER get that message, that men are visual creatures, and that looking good is an important asset a woman can cultivate (or not.)
Women don’t have to be a 10/10 supermodel in order to be attractive and sexy, just like men don’t have to be a studly bodybuilder. But being relatively healthy should be something both sexes aspire to.
Actually, given the fact that according to the CDC over 70% of Americans over 20 are obese or overweight, just being HWP puts one in the top 30%. Trim and toned for a woman literally puts her in the top 10%.
A man who is, say, 35 and has visible abs and some defined muscle (we aren’t talking bodybuilder here) will be in top 10% easily.
And the funny part is that it’s never been easier to do this.
Gosh, I know I’m known for posting 40% of comments on every thread so I worry (very very much!) that I won’t be popular with the girls and boys if I lighten up. I’m seriously, terribly distressed. Everyone’s story is very brave and insightful, and should be applauded. That’s why I never stop talking/posting.
There’s this dude who answered this question a million times, named Deti. Women ignore him, because … Who knows.
30 pt checklists are for aircraft on fire.
Alternatively: Deti:
Be nice.
Don’t get fat.
(There’s a third one, but I always forget it. Prob because its near impossible to find a woman who is interested in being nice, and slender.)
(Oddly, this low bar is rarer than Chevelles in Manhattan )
My checklist:
Kindness
Respect
Good sex
I suppose there are a lot of girls and incels who wish to improve on this, like the dope with the 30 pt formula. That’s fine, but one might ask where they got their info. Usually life experience informs opinion, so having some (life experience in the subject matter) makes a person more credible.
I apologize again for posting 18 times on this subject, and for failing to attach multiple videos of fap-worthy starlets. I’m off my game in both respects. I’m scared you’ll be upset with me, or just think I’m a self-involved pussy. This troubles me and I don’t think it will turn out well.
Be nice or at least respectful
Don’t get fat
Take responsibility for your decisions.
Do something in life. Anything. Just dont be a lazy slug.
Yup the bar is pretty low.
BV. Love the sarcasm. I don’t always agree but I respect you holding to your beliefs.
Very great and clear ideas. Fantastic essay.
Interesting list, thank you for sharing that. I can generally get behind these, but I don’t typically like labeling myself. I’ve spend years reading these red pill blogs, and I have learned to question everything. Don’t just blindly accept anything anyone says as truth, not even them. Do your own research. Apply these lenses to your life and come to your own conclusions. It’s been interesting the things I have learned.
RPG,
Please allow Buena Vista’s comment to stand. While it is personally insulting, it does demonstrate his character.
Interesting, but I would argue it’s not red pill. It’s a joining into the red pill frame, a follow-on. I.E. it’s the human city after the red pill gets taken. The new reality is revealed and the shape of it gets explored.
Since the red pill is an awaking of MEN to the way women are, a woman can’t be red pill. The choice women have, as always, is to acknowledge the frame men have staked out or not.
If they follow, then these are things that naturally flow from entering into the red pill frame. It’s “obvious” and in many cases may simply be left unsaid. But if a woman denies the frame, she’s left adrift from a leader. Either she joins a man in a different frame, or she had to try to define a frame herself. That’s where the logorrhea of feminism comes in. Defining a position, laying the boundaries and so forth takes lots of explanation. And still a woman follows! She’s joined a prebuilt frame.
This shows the core issue at stake. You can only have one master. If feminism has defined your frame, it is your leader. It sets your boundaries on acceptable behavior. It decides what you may do, how fat you may be and may not be contradicted. If you follow a man, he can set the frame to red pill or not as he chooses. The whole thing is a conflict about what fills the SINGLE leadership slot for a woman.
Deti is my hero. He wrote:
But the most poignant thing I’ve ever learned from Deti is his short admonition to women about entitlement:
But if a woman denies the frame, she’s left adrift from a leader. Either she joins a man in a different frame, or she had to try to define a frame herself. That’s where the logorrhea of feminism comes in.
One can be a single female who denounces feminism though. Once you do, it simply means becoming an adult and creating your own “frame” and boundaries.
And RPG deletes another of my posts.
I’m getting the message, bloom, but passive aggressive is never a good look.
@Pedat
Any normal adult should understand that they are entitled to none of these things.
Sadly, there are many women and a decent portion of men nowadays who believe that they deserve so much for so little work…if any at all. Whatever happened to earnings rather than givings?
RPG,
I don’t think that you needed any more experience with gaslighting.
And RPG deletes another of my posts.
Umm. Which comment, BV?
I just looked through my email notifications, and I don’t see anything missing. Even if Bloom deleted something after it came through, it should still show up there…
Tarn,
You are correct.
Can’t we all play nice? BV and the Bear (wasn’t that a 70s TV show) are at opposite ends of the spectrum of viewpoints but both make valid contributions. Lets just agree that we approach things differently and we all have out idocyncracies (like my spelling) and keep the snarking to a minimum? Otherwise I will be forced to go hang out at my old stomping grournds MMSL (shudder)
@ bv I didn’t delete anything of yours that I know of… I have not even been following this for two days as I am on vacation… I actually have maybe only ONE time deleted any comments here and only bc that person was do wack a doodle — any regulars I would not delete a post. I don’t moderate comments, folks who post comments are on their own to defend them in my opinion… I am a hands off moderator (which btw u yourself have criticized me for, ironically!)
In short I did not delete any post… If one disappeared it must be a word press thing? I dunno…
Horseman,
It’s all him. I have tried to ignore him but, he won’t stop.
People are getting worse and worse, increasingly feeling entitled to everything. It’s also being fueled by the current political climate.
Fuzzie,
Just skip any comments that have his name, if it really bothers you. It’s what I do with commenters I disagree with.
I take time to remember that their beliefs don’t affect me as an individual.
Nobody can control me just by saying “you need to do X, Y, Z because I say so”.
“Do you know any women like this?” No, and I don’t believe any exist.
However, my long-time companion is close. We are in our fifties. A few years ago, she tried the “I want to be married, or else” approach. When I declined to commit to a specific timeline to a future marriage, she left me. I later discovered that she had already started dating other men without telling me, i.e., cuckolding me.
She learned a tough lesson about SMV from dating other men, and she came back to me within a year, very chastened. (This was a rare exception to my rule about no returns…as I said, she is close to the mythical Red Pill Woman/Unicorn.)
The relationship is still good, but changed. I keep my life separate and apart from hers. She is no longer allowed to leave so much as a toothbrush at my place, nor would I ever leave anything at hers. We share time together when we both desire to do so. I haven’t said so, but she seems to viscerally understand that either of us can walk away instantly. Since I can never be certain that she wouldn’t do the same thing to me again, she is disqualified from any consideration for future marriage (by me, anyway). Period.
Actions always have consequences. She mourns these, I merely accept them.
After re-reading, I might add so the foregoing comment doesn’t seem cruel or too sad: our relationship is still very good, albeit changed and perhaps somewhat diminished by necessary cautiousness.
TArn,
While I am aware of the concept of not feeding trolls, this was getting out of hand. It became a dominance issue.He wasn’t about to go away from the blogs I comment on, as they are unmoderated. He may still come back. So far, that has been his M.O..
Also,
This has gotten to be a daily thing. That’s abuse. It ‘s coming down to stand up or leave the blog.
Shark that actually doesn’t sound mean. It sounds like the consequences of her choices. Ultimatums are never a good strategy. One can’t force someone into marriage or a commitment. But many gals (and some guys) try…
@fuzzie funny how someone can know everything yet still not have a clue. I have found truly happy people don’t have any need to be mean.
RPG,
Thank you for saying something supportive. This has been going on for a while and it’s trouble when I stand up for myself gut little when abused. Whatever is going on, it is counterintuitive and certainly not constructive.
Someone wrote it up there.
Simple stuff on how to attract men.
Be nice.
Be pretty.
Don’t get fat.
Be available.
Be nice. That’s all. Be nice to people; kind, positive outlook, cheery disposition.
Be pretty. Look your best. You don’t have to be hot, or gorgeous, or a size 0, or even be all that H/W proportionate. Hair long, weight down, makeup on. Dress femininely.
Don’t get fat. This doesn’t mean “don’t gain 5 lbs.” it means don’t gain 50 lbs. Don’t get obese. Don’t pig out all the time. Watch your weight.
Be available. You either want a man or you don’t. You either make the time or you don’t. If you’re working all the time or in school all the time or with other people all the time, then you’re unavailable. Make the time to meet and get to know men. Tell people you are actively seeking men for relationships.
You’re right, furry. You only filled 36% of this thread, but it’s all me. Carry on.
@bv why so grumpy? Everything going ok? I get it this stuff may get repetitive, but the idea is that hopefully a gal who starts to wonder if there’s another way will stumble across this and it will be all new to her. That’s how it happened for me, anyway. Life changing. Cheers, I am on vacay. Life is good!
H/W?
Height/Weight?
Hair long, weight down, makeup on.
Dress femininely.
All of these aspects are good advice for women to follow if they are looking to get a traditional “alpha” type of man.
It’s important to remember men, like women, do have individual tastes/preferences though. So some guys will like short hair over long hair, or like a SO who wears no/extremely little makeup.
In the same vein, a woman needs to know what type of male she’s looking for.
Example: I wouldn’t want a guy who insists I dress in a feminine manner, or who dislikes very short hair. Everyone needs to be upfront and honest about their personal preferences.
Tarn:
Yes, H/W = height/weight.
I can’t believe this still has to be said, after damn near 5 years here. But here goes.
The advice I gave women is what will help them appeal to the widest variety of men. Yes there are outliers. Yes there are men who like women with short hair and who don’t care about feminine dress. BUT MOST men like feminine women with long hair.
Standard advice to men to improve their sexual attractiveness is: Lift weights. Get in shape. Look your best. Be confident/dominant. Get a mission and run it. Have cool, interesting hobbies.
Yes, there are outliers. Yes there are women who like chubby guys who play video games. BUT MOST women like in shape guys with decent haircuts who can talk about something other than Mario and Luigi.
The advice I gave women is what will help them appeal to the widest variety of men.
Yup. I reiterated this very sentiment in my own comment when I stated “All of these aspects are good advice for women to follow if they are looking to get a traditional “alpha” type of man“.
It is very good advice for most men and women, deti. Thank you.
BV, what do you hope to accomplish by literally poking the bear?
“(8) Can delay gratification. Can pass on someone or something that is fun for now, but painful later on.”
VERY important in raising my kids (and i’ve noticed to also be one of those ‘hot-topics’ among moms … ie: the *best* moms delay the gratification of their children *my* way … blah blah blah. however parents teach this to their children, it needs to be taught.)
___
“(10) Understands that relationships are not static, that effort and intention to maintain them is an ongoing requirement. That while she can reasonably expect the man to take the lead, that doesn’t mean he’s the sled dog and she can curl up and take a nap on the sleigh.”
interestingly i was thinking of this recently b/c was reminded of a convo with my niece a few years back about this very thing … that they needed to continue to create memories, experiences, things to do together … that they can’t let their marriage just happen.
___
“(13) Understands that divorce sucks and is more akin to getting treatment for cancer than having cosmetic surgery.”
truth right there. and it looks worse on a woman than on a man.
___
“(14) Likes men in a general sense for who they are and what they do, rather than detesting all men in general and making an exception for the tiny few in her nuclear family.”
hard lesson for some of us to learn but WELL worth the effort.
and because … these songs are embedded into my psyche whether i want them to be or not b/c one of my girls loved barney!
I agree with all of it!
Historically women have never really been mature adults or capable of be becoming such ; that’s why patriarchy worked so well.
Ton – that point could be proven every morning and every afternoon at most elementary and middle schools where moms are dropping off and picking up their kids. the crazy is released in spades!
I think that (1) is on point, but may not be a clearcut as one thinks. “Physical appearance ” and “in shape” are wibbly-wobbly in my eyes.
For example, one young lady I was very smitten with (aboutdawn.wordpress.com) always looked good to me, even when she was in her workout clothes. But she wasn’t necessarily “in shape” at the time. I’ve seen pics of her when she was a bit thinner, and IMHO she looked an awful lot more attractive when she was a little more curvy. One of her coworkers (KW) was in really great shape, and always dressed to the nines, but just didn’t look anywhere near as attractive to me.
KW was always in much better shape and dressed better, but Dawn was always more attractive to me.
Hi Moi, welcome! Yes, I have observed that too. Some women, despite not being “physically perfect” can still be more attractive overall than a gal who is more in the “classic beauty” box. I am it sure if its personality, or demeanor, or pheromones, or what?
This can also be the case for guys, too. I have known guys who weren’t much to look at but who always had a beautiful girlfriend (or two or more beauties trying to be the girlfriend!) while other guys may look great but have some personality or other factor that just ruins it.
@RPG: At the risk of sounding a little too RP & obnoxious, I’m not sure that the attractiveness formula is the same for women as it is for men. Men seem to be primarily driven by their subjective opinion on a woman’s physical qualities, while women seem to be primarily driven by their subjective opinion on what or how he can provide some benefit to them. Now I don’t mean it all in a “gold digger” kind of way, but somewhat of a “what will be more like what I deserve” kind of thing.
As for personality vs pheromones attracting guys to certain women, I think it not only differs from guy to guy, but differs for different women for the same guy. What attracted me to Pam (aboutpamela.wordpress.com) is significantly different that what attracted me to Dawn (aboutdawn.wordpress.com). Both are physically attractive women to me, but in very different ways. I think that we see different things in different people, all of which can lead us to the same kind of feelings.
And I will take issue with one thing you said in your reply. “Physically perfect”???
What does that mean?
Model size 000 ?
I can think of two women with very different body types & sizes. And they are both “Physically Perfect” to me.
Physically perfect means I want to bang her 6 times a day
Ton very direct he is.
A poor diplomat he would be
But cares not he probably does
I put “physically perfect” in quotes bc it is an arbitrary concept. There is no such thing, although if pressed to define it I would suspect Victoria Secret models might be close to what more men than not would consider to fit the bill. Agreed, physically perfect can take more than one form.
Ton, I seem to recall this six time a day discussion from before. Busy guy you must be!
The Ton would make an excellent diplomat…. as long as no one was playing silly reindeer games
The Ton is also drunk at 856 am… so what the hell do I know…. that’s right I know everyfuckingthing
the perfect body for a girl is one that induces the most boners in her man/ men. And while that varies some, most men don’t want a fat bitch or one so thin your 1st thought is meth head. So your really arguing about the margins
In my case, Girl#1 is petite, small, flat bellied etc and the Ton cannot get enough
Girl#2 is a tad bit taller, more in the tits and ass department and the Ton cannot get enough.
Women are pretty lucky in this department due to the variety in men’s tastes
the perfect body for a girl is one that induces the most boners in her man/ men. And while that varies some, most men don’t want a fat bitch or one so thin your 1st thought is meth head.
Holy shiitake mushrooms.
I agree with Ton. Someone alert the presses. 😂
Tis true, though.
Ton, you may find this funny based on our conversation last month regarding height/alphaness/etc, but I’m the tallest and bustiest of all Seamus’ partners. He normally goes for 5’3″ or so with B-cup ta-tas. Which makes me wonder:
Y’know how you were saying you think I subconsciously selected for Seamus due to him being 6′? Well, is it typical for tall guys to consciously choose women who are significantly shorter than themselves? I see a *lot* of big & tall dudes in the gamer community with tiny wives. Anything to this you think?
Ton and Tarn agree on something?
You’re right this is BIG news!
Six times a day? The spirit is willing but, the flesh is weak.
six times a day times 2 girls plus 2-3+ companies? some men must need more than 24 hours in a day 😉
tehehe!
Only 6? Lightweight!
Could be Tarn but I am 5’8″ so don’t know much of anything about being tall
Short stature is a signal for femininity; women prefer tall men….. so maybe it reflects taller men have more dating options…. and choose shorter chicks?
If tall men make women feel more secure and feminine, perhaps the taller dude with shorter chicks feel more masculine and dominant? After all the feminine attracts the masculine; the masculine draws out the feminine.
So yeah, the more I ponder it, the more it seems legit
LOL I need 2 just to keep one from being to sore to function
i think height is a preference. i’ve never been attracted to tall men (i’m 5’4″). i can’t answer why that is, i just know that it is. my brother’s 6’3″ and totally alpha. actually, minus the military, Ton reminds me of him personality-wise … a common convo btw my ‘baby’ brother and myself: Me: “Hey Bro! Howz it goin’?” Brother: “Everything’s working fine below the belt, so allz well!” the dude’s probably left us nieces and nephews all over the world; he wouldn’t know. but he’s found one hawtie that’s he’s been with for 8-10 years now, and they’re good for each other … she’s like pron-star hawt. they have a pole in the middle of their living area.
my neighbors across the street are both tall … she’s told me multiple times how many physical ailments he has now at our age simply due to his height. ewww.
i’m sure there’s a general +10 towards alpha for being tall … but it’s not across the board – guy still needs to actually be an alpha … and girl needs to be attracted to tall men.
my opinion … fwiw … but, you know … i’m just an emotional feelz female! 😉
Every bit of research points to tall men being more in demand with, I think, 6 foot 2 being ideal for the largest number of women.
One dating site found a 5’6″ guy had to make 160-180k to be considered as attractive as a guy who is 6’2″
Something like that. Don’t recall the details but it is well established
I think that only fifteen percent of men are six foot or taller. For my money , it’s another hypergamic demand. Recently, I saw a youtube video where a crew of guys played a prank on a five foot three girl who demanded that no men contact her who were under six foot. When I was a kid, the prevailing opinion was a four inch difference was considered ideal for dancing.
Ton – i believe you. i’ve heard it, too.
but … it’s just statistics. and like my first husband (who was freakin brilliant with this stuff) would always say … it’s all in how you ask the question and what questions you ask … and then how you manipulate the numbers. statistics are not facts … they are manipulated to prove whatever outcome one wants to prove.
i mean … take yourself as an example. you can out-man most men, and you’re not 6’2″. realistically … how many men do you think could do the things in life that you do?
That is the point. It takes a lot to overcome the height barrier (? Or whatever we should call it)
In actual accomplishments or Game
Nice Fuzzie. Friends of mine send me screen captures of online dating profiles. Some of what they send is beyond funny, like fat chicks demanding fit men.
I have been thinking about linking them on my blog
Women invariably say that height, hair, income, skills, fitness level, and size of one’s junk don’t matter. Because ‘it’s what’s iinside that counts.’
This is easily demonstrated by all the Hollywood types who date unaccomplished, pudgy, bald assistant principals because they have a heart of gold.
I find four iinches (5’9″ or 10″) makes for a good fit for many activities.
Problem is I also subscribe to the 60 pond weight difference rule. Rarer than I would prefer.
Now that Mrs Smith has deployed to the dark side, I survey: nope, no +60s left in my life. Restaurant Girl is 130, Professor Fluid Gender is 140, Madame Librarian 140, and Dr. Amazon is, well, as tall as I am and …Amazonian (I won’t be researching her weight, a 38″ inseam is sufficiently challenging).
Lol I weight 260 I have a 120 pound rule
“Women invariably say that height, hair, income, skills, fitness level, and size of one’s junk don’t matter. Because ‘it’s what’s iinside that counts.’”
i didn’t say appearances didn’t matter and it’s all what’s inside that counts. i simply have never preferred tall men. i also don’t care for blondes or curly hair unless its cut very short, or mustaches alone – i like them combined with other facial hair, but not solo. i also don’t care for twiggy. when i was in my early 20’s and just married, we had a pastor who was very tall and very twiggy. he gave me a side-hug once, and it was like my arm flapped around his waist – ewww. i think body builders where their veins pop out is gross … moderate fitness level is preferable to me. income and skills are relative but willingness to work hard isn’t. my first husband made good money and had lots of interesting skills, traveled all over the world, could hold his own and then some in just about any situation anywhere, but he was an unfaithful, lying, jerk. the inside does count … but it’s not enough if looking at him makes me gag. and appearances are definitely preferences. all of my closest friends over the years have married nice-looking men – and most of them tall, but i’m not attracted to any of them. just not my type. not bad, just not what i like.
We’re similar in tastes, Ame.
I likewise don’t typically find muscle-bound men or very skinny men attractive, and prefer “dad-bod” or slightly chubby guys. They can even be “fat” if they carry the weight well around their whole body and not just have a huge gut.
I don’t like facial hair of any kind. No beards, moustaches, chops, goatees…nope. Clean shaven at all times, please. I prefer blondes, but am fine with any color hair really. I find guys who are around my height (5’7″) more attractive than ones who are much taller, but I wouldn’t disqualify any man for being either significantly taller *or* shorter. Eye color, skin color, freckles…whatever. Doesn’t matter.
A hard work ethic like my own is a must, but it doesn’t matter what his income is, how often he gets days off, what car he drives, etc. Good hygiene and basic home cleanliness is a necessity (not Home & Gardens level clean, because that is weird and I tend to leave books on every flat surface myself, but if you have dust rhinos instead of dust bunnies…well).
“dust rhinos instead of dust bunnies”
lol! had never heard of dust rhinos before!
i would actually be very uncomfortable with a man shorter than i b/c i hate drawing attention to myself, and *I* would feel like that made me stand out (yes, it’s all about me, but just being honest). but, being 5’4″, that’s usually not an issue. my first husband was 5’8″ and my second is 5’7″ (he thinks he’s 5’8″, but he’s not 😉 )
That’s an interesting reason, Ame. Usually it sounds like women don’t want a shorter SO because they don’t “feel protected” or feminine.
I think I would be uncomfortable with public attention if I was with an actual small person/dwarf under 3 feet tall. But a guy who’s 5 foot? I’d be cool with him.
Honestly, I wish I was taller, which is just another personal preference. I dislike being under 5’10”. I much rather look more men in the eye than up at them. Meh…not going to happen though.
Most men under 5’10 cannot look other men in the eye either but seem to get by just fine
Oh, I know, Ton.
It just is a minor annoyance that my guy is taller than me. Like I said before, I don’t judge people based on their height, it’s just a personal preference towards people my own height/wanting to be taller myself.