Monthly Archives: October 2016

Taboo Talk

27 Thursday Oct 2016

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It is interesting to me what a to-do people are making about some of the things Trump has said, while at the same time the book 50 Shades of Grey outsold Harry Potter (!) without any marketing or advertising beyond whispered word of mouth. And it was filled with lots and lots of taboo talk!

Some of the latest dialog being quoted was said about a contestant on his reality show, a former Playboy centerfold and Playmate of the Year.

While people are up in arms, I find it interesting that the woman he said these things about and to was not in the least offended by them. And she thinks highly of the man. She seems to “get it” that of course he felt that way (duh!), and she took his saying so not as an insult but as a compliment and as lighthearted teasing said jokingly. They both seemed to get it was just talk.

When I was younger, I would get very uncomfortable about men saying things about my body or my sexuality unsolicited. I get that such language, if not said jokingly, can be scary. Such things said in a different tone would in fact be crossing a line.

But I think we have gone too far, where even innocuous admiration of the female form has become weaponized. Men like looking at pretty women. It’s that simple. Even married men like looking at pretty women.

Something I learned in the manosphere is that men are looking at women all the time, way more than we realize. One man described how it’s almost automatic for him to size up every female he comes across (“She’s a 2, there’s a 7, that one is a 6, etc.”) It’s just something his mind automatically did, and other men admitted theirs did too, and that it wasn’t pervy or leering. It’s the way the male mind works. Visual. Very visual.

And maybe we should all just get over it.

For example, awhile ago my vacuum cleaner hose got a toy lodged in it. So knowing the guy who owns the local country store is handy, and needing the vacuum fixed asap, I headed over to see if he could help me out. He’s likely nearly 60, married, super nice guy, blue collar, former truck driver.

He was sitting there with my neighbor, an elderly bachelor farmer in his late 70s, and they were shooting the breeze. They were happy to help me with my dilemma and soon got the toy dislodged.

I thanked them and turned to walk back home. I heard the farmer comment about being happy to help, “in exchange for the nice view.” And yes, he meant my backside. The store owner laughed good-heartedly, in a “I was thinking it, but he actually said it out loud” kind of way.

My reaction? I added a little extra shimmy to my walk, and carried on my way, with a smile on my face, knowing they meant it as a compliment, and feeling kinda good that they noticed.

It wasn’t awkward. It wasn’t sleazy. It wasn’t uncomfortable. It was life.

Now I know this pales in comparison to what Trump said to and about the contestant, but I have had men say similar things as what he said to me, too. And they said it lighthearted and joking, and I knew and they knew it was just talk. And the few times it wasn’t, I made it known I wouldn’t have it. End of.

Much ado about nothing, I say. I’d much rather see fair, balanced investigative journalistic news stories comparing the candidates views on the issues that really matter to the American people, rather than see “reporters”wasting ink on such tabloid fodder.

 

 

 

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Pumpkin Carving

26 Wednesday Oct 2016

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Sometimes it is good to take a step back, and to look at things from a distance. Like traditions. Like pumpkin carving.

Now pumpkin carving is kind of a minor tradition, and one mostly for the young folks.

Today our journey started with a field trip to the local pumpkin patch, run by one of my very favorite local agriculture preservation activists. He and his wife are salt of the earth, I kid you not. True blue. And they welcome school buses of kids every fall to help show  them where food comes from. (Not the store.)

Not only do they grow amazing mind-blowing sweet corn and other goodies that I and other locals look forward to all year and then silently cry when we taste their sweet, sweet perfection again. Corn will never look the same, not unless they raised it or you raised it yourself.

Anyway, I digress.

These things kind of make no sense (carving gourds into scary faces to scare away evil spirits on All Hallows Eve????) and yet it is part of the shared collective, some weird bonding glue of mutual understanding. Traditions can both make no sense, and yet oddly make everything tie together.

And my kids loved it. The gooey pumpkin seeds and guts. Drawing the design. Mom, doing her best not to cut herself or anyone else in the process of carving. The pretty good if I do say so myself result.

It was an opportunity to remind my kids that this time of year signifies harvest, and plenty, and the lack to come, and how being prepared pays off.

And a chance to talk about a farmer, and how I admire him and his family, and tradition, and the rest, as we carve that silly pumpkin, gooey guts and seeds and all.

Anyway, time to light the masterpiece.

Memories made. Traditions passed. Future memories to come made.

Are Things Better?

25 Tuesday Oct 2016

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A good question to ask yourself as you ponder your vote, “Are things better for you and those you know now than in the past?”

In my biz, I interact with a wide range of people, young, old, rich, poor, employee, and employer. As far as I can see, none of them a better off now than they were 10 years ago. And many who I never would have predicted would ever struggle financially because of their experience and education, now do.

I’ve watched people get fired without warning, search for a new job for months, finally take something at a fraction of what they used to make, with less benefits, and less security. Most are people in their upper 50s, not quite ready to retire but also not prepared to face long term unemployment at their age. They are scared. Terrified, actually.

I’ve seen younger friends and neighbors lose their jobs, lose their life savings, and then lose their homes. Most were families with children at home. Most are now divorced. None are better off.

As I look around I see very few who are ahead or are doing better than they were 10 years ago.

How about you?

The Thing About Intelligence

24 Monday Oct 2016

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While watching the debate the other night, I was reminded of one of my former bosses, one of the most intelligent people I have ever met in real life.

He wasn’t a journalist by training, but he bought a small newspaper and in an era where newspapers were bleeding losses he managed to build it into a multi million dollar endeavor over a 30 year period, sold it, and retired very comfortably.

Although his background was in business, he did make a fine editor in chief and journalist. He had a mind like a steel trap. He knew everyone and could remember everything about them, even things from years back.

Just by watching him, one could see his mind was spinning about 100 times faster than the ordinary. He had little time for the mundane, and if a conversation didn’t interest him he would simply stand up and walk out of the room without a word. Because of this he could be very socially awkward.

I used to feel for those he was interviewing, because he had the most cunning way to guide the conversation right where he wanted it to go, and they often didn’t realize it until they had already said too much.

He was not the most PC guy. But he was a straight shooter. He had incredible integrity. None of the local politicians or business owners could buy him or sway him. He always told it like it was, without fear of repercussions.

I saw many of these same characteristics in Trump the other night. I would be curious to know his IQ, but I would guess like my former boss it’s far above the norm. I can see, like my boss, he’s literally ten steps ahead and has to slow himself down to the pace others are following at. Some of his social awkwardness, impulsive nature, and tendency to blurt things out, etc. may be in part because of this.

The thing about intelligence is there are many types of it. And nobody gets them all. I have found most people at the top of the curve to be lacking socially, in particular. But that doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t deeply caring people.

My former boss didn’t pay a lot, and he ran a very tight ship. But he was loyal to his employees, and put money aside in a profit sharing plan that he managed with amazingly great returns. In three years I walked away $9,000 better off. When he sold the company, he insisted all of the current employees be retained for at least a year as a condition of the sale. He didn’t treat employees like nameless, faceless, easily replaced or eliminated widgets. He looked out for his employees almost like a father.

In short, sometimes the most intelligent people aren’t the most socially apt or the most endearing. But that doesn’t make them bad people. In fact, they can be some of the best people.

 

Being a Nasty Woman Is Not Good

22 Saturday Oct 2016

Posted by in Fempire, Red Pill

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During the final debate, Trump told Hillary, “You are a nasty woman” after she delivered one of several low blows during the event.

Not surprisingly, women on Twitter took up the torch, claiming if being a nasty woman meant smart, confident, and powerful count them in.

Thing is, he didn’t call her that for being smart, confident, or powerful. He called her that because of her throwing a jab and then expecting to get a pass because she’s a woman.

See if women want equality, and want to “act like men” along with that comes being treated equally. Which means not with kid gloves.

Even as young as preschool one can see that males and females settle disputes differently. Girls shame and ostracize each other, threatening “I won’t invite you to my birthday!” Such spats can go for days. Boys? They whack each other. Somebody “wins” and they are over it

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying because preschoolers act this way, adults should. In fact a big part of early social education is teaching children how to not act on their basest natures, but to “be civilized.”

And of course boys especially are taught to never hit or act aggressively toward girls because girls are to be treated differently than boys.

However, this naturally is expected to be a two way street. If girls don’t want to be treated like boys, they historically have been taught in exchange to be polite, ladylike, refined.

Today, if a woman hits a man, yells at him, throws barbs his way, she still expects to be treated, “like a lady.” But guess what? One can’t have it both ways.

Women who demand the equality to act aggressively toward men should expect it to be met with aggression back, just like occurs between two men. That’s equality. Men don’t ignore aggression from another man, why should he from a woman who acts more like an aggressive man than a ladylike woman?

In short, it’s not good to be or act like a “nasty woman.” It’s not powerful, confident, or intelligent. It’s base. It’s low class. It’s embarrassing.

Women who want to be treated with respect and equality are far better to rise above than to stoop low.

It’s one thing to say, “When they go low, we go high.” Quite another to actually walk the talk.

What do you think? Please share in the comments below.

 

 

Are You a Critical Thinker?

21 Friday Oct 2016

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Critical thinking is defined as, “the objective analysis and evaluation of an issue in order to form a judgment.”

Are you a critical thinker? Many people aren’t, and yet they don’t even know it.

We are all operating on a series of conscious or subconscious beliefs that we have been taught, absorbed, were exposed to, indoctrinated with, or in some other way influenced to believe, “this is how it is.”

Much of this happens when we are very young, under the age of 5, much too young to understand there may be other beliefs, or that the beliefs we are adopting could in fact be completely off. At the time, there is no ability to filter the beliefs we are exposed to. They simply become our own.

That’s where critical thinking comes in. I am constantly exposing myself to alternate viewpoints and beliefs in an effort to better understand and examine my own. Often the result is a better understanding of my belief and sometimes I will alter my beliefs based on consciously examining them as an adult.

Today, there is a trend in our society that discourages critical thinking. College students are demanding “safe spaces” and “trigger warnings” in an effort to avoid being exposed to opposing or alternate beliefs.

Alternate belief systems are being increasingly deemed “unacceptable” by these same people, and they are demanding others conform to their belief system. If they don’t, they reject them as “wrong” or “ignorant” or “a hater” or even demand the person be persecuted or punished for their “unacceptable” (as defined by them) beliefs.

Interestingly these same people often consider themselves “tolerant” and those who don’t agree with them “intolerant.” Ironic?

This line of thinking is exactly the opposite of the principles the United States were founded upon. We’re not a nation of conformity, group think, or censorship. Critical thinking, open debate, and freedom of self expression are all foundational principles to our democracy.

I’d challenge everyone reading this to start examining their personal beliefs, where they came from, how they compare to the beliefs of others, and where they stand up to scrutiny and where they fall short.

If someone says something you strongly react to or immediately oppose, that’s a perfect time to reflect on your reaction, step outside of your beliefs and try to see where the other person is coming from, and consider if perhaps you could learn from their belief rather than just rejecting it outright. Instead of being upset, think of it as an opportunity to grow and to refine who you truly are and what you truly believe.

Every once in awhile, you might just discover a belief you have held since childhood actually doesn’t fit your adult belief systems at all. Other times, you will find them confirmed.

Either way, you aren’t just mindlessly going through life with blinders on. Blinders you didn’t even choose yourself, but ones chosen for you long before you realized you ever even had a choice.

 

 

 

A Crossroads

19 Wednesday Oct 2016

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In the spirit of debate, I wanted to repost a comment made on another blog that I found thought provoking. Please share your thoughts at the end!

————–

David October 14, 2016 1:53 AM
Although admittedly I’m observing this from over here in London, even I’ve noticed that, for some reason, the US media seem hell bent on trivialising this election by focusing on contrived tabloid hit-pieces nobody really cares about. Or at least, nobody should care about! But for me it is, and always will be – all about the issues:

STATE OF THE UNION

If you feel that America is doing just fine, both domestically and internationally and all that is needed is more of the same; vote for her.

But if you think the previous eight years have accelerated America’s decline, both at home and abroad and that a new direction is needed; vote for him.

NATIONAL DEBT:

If you feel that the biggest national dept in history is nothing much to worry about and that America can continue to borrow it’s way into further debt indefinitely; vote for her.

But if you think that America needs to tackle its unprecedented debt by insisting its economic rivals cease protecting their own markets by cynically manipulating the value of their own currencies and start playing on a level playing field; vote for him.

DEFENCE:

If you feel that entering into endless proxy conflicts abroad is a great use of your most cherished national asset – the brave Men and Women who serve in your military; vote for her.

But if you think that American service Men and Women should only ever be used to protect America’s direct interests and that other nations who rely on America’s protection should contribute to the cost of that protection; vote for him.

IMMIGRATION:

If you feel that mass illegal immigration from the third world and all the adverse social deprivations associated with it, is good for America; vote for her.

But if you think that America should cease its policy of mass immigration from the third world until it can provide sufficiently for the people who are already in the country. And that America should finally start enforcing its existing laws on illegal immigration; vote for him.

LAW AND ORDER:

If you feel that vilifying your law enforcement officers and whipping up racial tensions, in already gang infested and drug riddled inner cities, has made them better places to live; vote for her.

But if you think the people who live in America’s cities deserve to be protected by strong and respected law enforcement agencies. And that the gang-crime that blights many of those cities needs to be tackled and tackled hard; vote for him.

 

JOBS:

If you feel that allowing your industries to sack their American workers and move to third world countries to take advantage of slave labour and then sell their goods back to you, without penalty, is an acceptable economic policy; vote for her.

But if you think that encouraging industries to remain within America and penalising those that try the slave foreign labour route will be good for America and American workers; vote for him.

TRADE:

If you feel that continuing to operate international trade agreements which allow your economic rivals to restrict your exports to them while they are allowed to flood your markets with there goods is wise or even economically sustainable; vote for her.

But if you think that the international trade agreements America is currently operating were poorly advised and have, in large part, contributed to America’s economic decline and must be revisited, revised and redrafted so as to benefit America’s economy rather than building up the economies of its rivals; vote for him.

TERRORISM:

If you feel that it is wise to ignore the fact that America’s core values are under violent attack from people who obtained their vicious hatred of those values from the teachings of Islam. And that it is some how morally wrong to even mention the phrase “Islamic Terrorism” for fear of offending somebody’s misplaced sensibilities; vote for her.

But if you think that America should acknowledge that many of the teachings of Islam are incompatible with the freedoms it holds dear, including equal rights for gays and women, and that people suspected of favouring such teachings should not be allowed into the country unchecked; vote for him.

FOREIGN AFFAIRS:

If you feel that America’s declining influence on the world stage and the continued disrespect and contempt America is now held in by many of its international rivals is something to be proud of; vote for her.

But if you think that America should prioritise forging alliances with nations who show it mutual respect and share its core values, and that are fighting against the same scourge of Islamic Terrorism America is fighting. While disengaging from nations that are openly disrespectful and that have values that are morally abhorrent to those your forefathers made so much effort to establish; vote for him.
POLITICAL SYSTEM:

If you feel that it is fine to be ruled by career politicians who have had to beg, steel and borrow hundreds of millions of dollars from self-interested groups to fund their political careers. Groups that naturally expect a return on their investments; vote for her.

But if you think that America has been poorly served by its political class – of both hews – for the past several decades and that the political system its self, has become so reliant on obtaining donations from self-interested groups, that now no person of integrity could ever make it into office. And if you believe that electing bought and payed for puppet politicians has cost America dearly and that only a self funded candidate can break the cycle of corruption; vote for him.

TEMPERAMENT AND CHARACTER:

If you feel that a career politician who has become rich from so called ‘public service’ is likely to keep their promises ‘this time’ despite the countless empty and broken promises of their past. And that it’s acceptable for a politician to justify their many mistakes, lies and let-downs buy merely laughing them off as “miss-steps” “brain freezes” or “miss-speaks”; vote for her.

But if you think that it is time to wrestle the reigns of power away from the people who have lead America into the mess in which it now finds itself and to give a chance to a non-politician, a proven employment creator with a solid record of business success, and who has brought up a beautiful family who love and respect them, a winner in every sense of the word and someone who obviously loves their country; vote for him.

In my humble opinion, them’s the REAL choices folks.

———-

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

Divorce Isn’t A Fix All

18 Tuesday Oct 2016

Posted by in Relationships

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A good friend of mine who was in her 40’s and had been divorced for some time said something that I will never forget, “Something I realized after my divorce was the same problems I used to think were caused by him still remained.”

In other words the bathroom still didn’t clean itself. There were clothes on the floor. The dishes piled up. Bills still came. Stuff still needed fixing. And all the rest.

She said it was a real case of eating humble pie when she realized it, too.

Despite my friend being a very attractive, fit, petite women with a great job (she was a neonatal nurse), a fun personality, and no kids or other responsibilities, she had not managed to find another relationship in the decade after she left her marriage.

Sadly, we’ve lost touch over the past 10 years, but last I heard she was dating someone who had decided he would never remarry and they lived separately and had just broke up because she didn’t want to live alone.

Sometimes the problems that are so easy to blame on a spouse are simply life problems. Problems you are going to have as a single person, too. Except you will now face those problems on your own.

I hope her tale serves as an example that divorce doesn’t magically fix all of life’s problems, and often marriage isn’t the problem, life is. So before you jump into the great unknown thinking it will be easier and better, stop to ask yourself if maybe you are throwing the baby out with the bathwater (or in this case the hubby!)

Let those with ears hear.

 

A Bride or a Wife?

14 Friday Oct 2016

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Recently, I helped at a wedding that provided a great example of the difference between being ready to be a bride versus being ready to be a wife.

The couple is in their 20s. I would guess she’s about 22, he’s in his late 20’s. They met in a rather unique way — she was on a blind date with one of his friends (it was not a match). He waited a year, kept tabs on her via Facebook, then asked her out on a date. Before the date was over, she says they both knew this was likely “it.”

This young couple impresses me in many ways. They are already committed to a debt-free lifestyle. They bought a piece of land and are building a home. They approach life as a team already. They are unusually sensible and mature for their ages, it seems to me. They are “on the right track” and seem to have a solid plan for their future.

All of this impressed me already, but I really saw that this girl was ready to be a wife, not just a bride, when the wedding day approached. By a stroke of bad luck there was a huge storm, and with high winds and pouring rain forecast, the outdoor fall wedding she had dreamed of was just not in the cards as planned.

Three days before the event, she accepted reality and quickly went to work securing an alternate indoor venue and rearranging everything.

Not once did I see her melt down. Not once did I see her feel sorry for herself. Not once did I hear her complain. No princess fantasy derailment. No, “My day is ruined!” She just bucked up and did what needed done. Like a boss (and I told her so!)

I have to say, she surprised me. I had underestimated her, as she is very attractive and seems like the kind of girl who has likely had a charmed and easy life. Or so I thought. I was surprised in fact when I met her parents to learn this very traditional minded gal had been raised in a hippie commune.

Who would have thought? A gal raised in a Northern California hippie commune would turn out to be such a mature, sensible, solid adult? Who despite both being raised in an alternative culture combined with the current culture, choose to marry and start her adult life young, and choose very well. Her husband comes from one of the most respected families in the area and he is a great guy. His choice of a wife reveals a wisdom and readiness to lead.

I predict good things for them. She’s shared that they plan to start a family soon, and after working in commercial daycare centers in high school, and despite being recently promoted to manager in a national coffee house chain with the promise of an upwardly mobile career ahead, they have decided when children come she’ll stay at home and raise them.

In any case, she’s a good example of a woman who is not just ready to be a bride, but who is ready to be a wife. It warms my red pill cynical heart to see, that sometimes people still manage to find their way despite the mainstream madness.

I hope to raise my daughters to be as wise as this young lady.  She’s a great example and role model for any young woman to follow.