Monthly Archives: November 2016

The Downside of the Red Pill

30 Wednesday Nov 2016

Posted by in Red Pill

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When I discovered the red pill, it felt like my eyes were opened and suddenly it clicked why everything had never made sense or worked as planned, before.

I made huge changes in my life and mindset over the next several years. I read all I could about relationships and dynamics between men and women based on the red pill. I learned a great deal and what I learned has greatly improved my life.

So what’s the downside?

The downside of the red pill, or one of them anyway, is that once one realizes it, you go through a stages of grief almost as you process that everything you have ever been told about how the world works, doesn’t.

Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. And finally, acceptance.

I realized I had been sold an experimental life script. I and those of my generation and those after were unwitting guinea pigs in perhaps the largest social experiment ever. And that much of the pain and failure I had experienced in relationships and life, was because of that. And that I would never get that time or those opportunities back. And that I didn’t even know how to do things different. And that there were few places, if any, to learn how. I had to move forward without a map or much support in society for my quest.

Wow. Wow. Wow.

That ALL SUCKS BIG TIME.

Yeah, it almost seems easier not to face all of that truth. Many people won’t even peek under the lid of life because facing such things is not for the feint of heart.

But what you have seen cannot be unseen. And the only choice is to move forward the best you can. And while it is not always easy, isn’t that better than continuing to work a broken script?

If nothing else, one can use the information make the most of the life they have left and to try and leave the world a better place for the generations to come by sharing what was learned with others in hopes to help them avoid the same.

The older I get, the more and more I can see we only have limited days on this earth. The past is done, the future unwritten, but we do have this — the now to seize.  Reality is what one makes it. You are the author of your fate.

And knowing that is ironically a major upside of the red pill.

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Are Women Being Raised to Fail?

29 Tuesday Nov 2016

Posted by in Relationships

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Something I realized very quickly after discovering the red pill was that myself and most women (and men) born in after the late 1960s in America have basically been raised to fail in life and love.

Now I am not saying it was intentional. I really do think at least some people thought changing the social contract between men and women was going to be a step forward. Progress. Better. Utopia, even.

Of course others involved in the movement did so because for whatever reason the old social contract wasn’t working for them. Maybe they were trapped in a bad marriage. Maybe they had been abused. Maybe they were not attracted to or interested in men. But something all these women who started the feminist movement had in common is they were not happily and successfully relating with men, and so were they really in the best position to advise women how to fix that?

Pretty much all the advice I got growing up from multiple sources about how to be a happy, strong, successful woman turned out to have done more harm than good in my life and relationships. And as I look around at the other “modern” women I know, they too are experiencing the same.  Relationships not working. Priorities out of wack. Lack of balance. Workaholism. Unhappiness. Frazzled. Families falling apart. Dysfunction. Depression. Anxiety. Confusion. Etc.

My theory is that this is the blue pill version for females. Men were sold the “Be nicer. Be more sensitive. Be more like a woman,” line at the same time women were being told, “Be tough, be outspoken, be more like a man.”

Simultaneously, women were also being warned that men were the enemy, that they couldn’t be trusted, that they needed to always be financially independent of men because of that, and that they always needed to be on guard against them.

It wasn’t until I saw my babysitter living a truly traditional life that I actually saw how the old social contract worked, and worked pretty well. (You can read about her in more detail here.)

She’s always happy. She loves her life. She loves her husband. Her husband loves her. Their kids are happy and well behaved. She’s gracious and feminine and mild. And rather than treat her like a doormat, he cherishes her for it. She oversees the home and children sphere, he brings home the bacon. Of all the marriages I have seen, theirs has the least amount of discord or unhappiness of all. It works. It works really well, actually.

It’s something to ponder for sure, whether these social changes of the past 40 years have actually made life better for women. And men. And children. Or are things worse?

What do you think?

 

 

 

A Good Question

28 Monday Nov 2016

Posted by in Uncategorized

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Reader Mega recently questioned if he should continue to date a woman who he gets along with in every way except ideologically?

Apparently the recent election brought things to a head, with him on one side and her on another. As the discussions continued, the divide chafed more and more.

From what I have seen opposites may attract, but over time seeing the world from opposing viewpoints can lead to increasing strife, which is a lot harder to live with long term than increasing harmony.

He wondered if it was possible perhaps she would change her point of view with time? It’s a big “if.”

Now I do believe people can and do change their point of view, as I certainly did upon discovering the red pill, but usually people have to do so on their own. It’s not something you can really talk someone else into.

In the long run I would say it is easier to be with someone who shares your worldview, than opposes it. Especially if they can’t agree to disagree.

After all, isn’t life complicated enough? Yes. Yes it is.

As one man explained it to me once, ladies, men spend their whole lives scrapping with each other in the public sphere — for jobs, for status, for recognition, for respect, for territory, for everything basically. The last thing a guy wants to do is retreat into his private world and encounter strife or competition there as well. No. A man wants and needs his woman to be a soft place to land.

If I were a betting gal, chances are Mega’s 50-some-year-old girlfriend will soon be on her own once again. Perhaps,  it will be a moment of awakening. Perhaps not.

But the chances of a cantankerous 50-some-year-old woman finding someone willing to put up with such behavior for long are slim. Really, it’s not “attractive” to most men to be in a constant debate with a partner. Perhaps, she should think about it before it is too late. Maybe better for her to  just drop it, even if she doesn’t change her point of view, rather than continue the verbal sparring?

 

Are You Falling for the Bait?

23 Wednesday Nov 2016

Posted by in Red Pill

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Something supporters of making America great again should beware is falling for the bait.

By falling for the bait, I mean acting exactly like the other camp and the media wants so they can use that in their ongoing smear campaign.

Trust me, they would love nothing more than to publish quotes from people mouthing off or to publish photos of people acting like haters or facists. It backs up their narrative. Just don’t. Encourage others to avoid doing the same.

Don’t give them what they want. Let the other side continue to rant and rave and end up in the news for their ridiculousness.

Better to say nothing than to say exactly what they want. Or even to say something they can twist into exactly what they want. And trust me, if they can, they will.

Stoic and steadfast silence is a form of free speech, and there are times when it can say as much or more than a million words.

Two Can Play That Game

23 Wednesday Nov 2016

Posted by in Red Pill

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Today I needed something to lighten my mood and sure enough I found it on Twitter.

A guy who I somehow stumbled across during the election stuff keeps getting banned, then keeps reappearing under yet another account, and another, and another. I believe he’s on his 16th account now.

For one thing he’s a real smart alec, and has a wicked dry sense of humor, but it seems what he says while exercising his right to free speech just has too much uncomfortable truth to it, so he keeps getting reported by SJW types because he’s “triggering” them.

As far as I have seen, he actually hasn’t said anything that remotely crosses the line of being ban-worthy. And yet he keeps getting banned, and he keeps coming back.

He now has followers (including me) who search for him every time he vanishes, so they can start following the new account. It’s hard not to cheer the guy on for just not giving up on speaking his truth.

Anyway, as if that isn’t entertaining enough (if you have a sick dry sense of humor combined with random insomnia like I do, anyway) today he decided “if you can’t beat them, join them!” And now he is reporting to Twitter every time a SJW says something that he disagrees with.

Oh the irony!

And there’s a stroke of brilliance to it, as well. When people try to discredit anyone who doesn’t think like they do with terms like, “hater” or “intolerant” or “misogynist” or “racist” or “sexist” or “whatever-ist,” why not just turn the same back, cry “victim” but louder? It’s just too easy! Why not add a bit of the hissy fit hysterical to it, just for laughs?

And watch the melt downs begin.

I like how this guy thinks!

In addition, he warns those standing up to SJW’s not to play the game too simply, for example by acting MORE of whatever they are accusing you of just to make them mad. Instead, turn their game back on them, play as he puts it,  a 12D chess game rather than a 2D one.

(Note: I’d link to his account, but it keeps changing. If you have been following the election stuff on Twitter, you’ve likely run across his antics by now and know who I mean. May he never give up the good fight!)

xis2en99

America Then and Now

21 Monday Nov 2016

Posted by in Red Pill

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On Veteran’s Day weekend, I put my Pandora station on “patriotic songs” for a change of pace and while listening it really hit home how much things have changed in American discourse between then and now.

They were classic songs we’ve all likely heard many, many times. But as I listened it really struck me how by today’s standards, many of the songs would be considered “not politically correct.”

Isn’t it ironic that these same songs that once described the basic ideals our country was founded upon, described who we were as a nation, would now likely be considered by many to be offensive? Unacceptable? Need trigger warnings?

There is something very wrong with that. Isn’t there? Because if that’s not who we are anymore, then who are we?

 

 

 

 

Left and Right

19 Saturday Nov 2016

Posted by in Red Pill

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Why are politics moving so far to the right? Because they simply went way, way, way too far to the left.

For some reason I am not seeing this explanation in news coverage of the election outcome. Instead, it is as if people are surprised, asking, “How did this happen?”

For example, when government goes so far to accommodate the bathroom preferences of the few, that they ignore the bathroom preferences of 97% of people, this happens.

 

While they may not see it, the left has increasingly lobbied for the rights of smaller and smaller groups over the past few decades, to the point that they were no longer representing the needs, wants, or social norms held by (even the moderates of) the much larger group.

When this happens, there is always a backlash. If the right goes too far hard right, the same will happen in the other direction.

Here’s an idea: Government could aim back more toward the middle of the bell curve rather than continuing to focus on the ever diminishing fringes.

A little bit for everyone works a lot better than a whole lot for a very few.

Marie Antoinette’s story, and many others in history, illustrates this. Once things get that polarized, there is no fixing it.

That’s how these things, and worse things, happen.

 

Remember Y2K?

17 Thursday Nov 2016

Posted by in Red Pill

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Maybe or maybe you don’t remember Y2K, but that was the date that all the computers were supposed to freak out and the world was going to come to a crashing end.

It’s complicated but in a nutshell, when computer programmers were setting things up, shortsightedly they only left two spots for the year instead of four. Supposedly this was bad, bad, bad. Because 2000 and on, how would they record that? Ooops!

Lots of money was spent. They must have figured things out because well, it never happened.

Kinda like the other day, huge dire predictions, and now look at us — still here!

I wonder when the next end of the end will be? Anybody want to take a guess?

(Bonus question: Can anyone explain HOW they fixed Y2K ? I am curious…)

A Question for Other Moms?

16 Wednesday Nov 2016

Posted by in parenting

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I have a friend who at one time had four children under the age of five, none of them twins. One thing I noticed, was she was nearly always in the kitchen.

Of course one reason was because all those people were nearly always hungry, so cooking was a needed task. And she enjoyed cooking and was good at it.

But I realized another possible reason for her retreat to the kitchen after noticing the same with my own kids — one of the few times my kids will entertain themselves and give me a bit of peace and quiet is when I am cooking!

I get the same effect, but less so, when I am housecleaning. The kids might interrupt but not nearly to the degree as if I try to sit down and browse the web, write a post, read a book, etc.

I am curious if other moms have noticed kids chillaxing while mom is cooking and/or cleaning? Are there other times you notice the same?

I realized why women didn’t rule the world shortly after having my first child, btw. Kids can prevent a mom from getting stuff done more than anything…. it seems! Lol.

Another thing I am realizing more and more. They grow up quick. Someday I will miss all this as I sit in total quiet reading a book and wishing the kiddos were still little! Sniff.

What do you think?

Women and The Election

16 Wednesday Nov 2016

Posted by in Red Pill

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This post analyzing how women voted for Hillary got me thinking about the women I know in real life and how they voted.

Something I noticed very early on, even before the Democratic convention named Hillary as the candidate, was that despite her being a woman, she wasn’t very popular among women I knew in real life who I normally would have expected to embrace her.

They were mostly baby boomers, educated, middle to upper middle class, lifelong democrats. I was puzzled. As these women revealed they did not back Hillary one after another, I was surprised. They didn’t really give a specific answer, but they had clearly already made up their mind about her.

This was before Wikileaks, before things really got heated, long. long, long before the last few weeks or months to election day.

I wish they would have been more specific as to exactly “what” it was about Hillary, so I could understand better why a group that by all predictors should have been excited as all get out to have a candidate for president who was, at least on the surface, so similar to them. But they were not.

But since I don’t know exactly what it was, I cannot say. However I could see early that it did not bode well for her chances if this group the democrats themselves considered a slam-dunk was actually not.

I got a similar response from women my age or younger who live in the same rural area of a blue state I do. Most of them also lean democrat, but once again they also said they were not planning to vote for her. Odd. Even women I knew to be liberal leaning.

In fact, in real life I only had a total of three women say they were voting for Hillary. Out of dozens and dozens who on the surface, should have been. Weird.

So I looked on Facebook, where I have friends and professional relationships from all over the country. I noticed that of all of them, one group in particular was very pro-Hillary: Women my age or younger living in large metro areas such as New York, San Francisco, Seattle, etc.

The difference between what I was seeing and hearing in real life versus what I saw online may as well have been two different universes!

And that is what I think happened. Hillary staff, the media, the polls, the backers were likely caught up in an echo chamber effect in these same urban areas where women (and many men) were very supportive of Hillary. But because they likely don’t interact much with the millions of Americans living outside of metro areas, they weren’t hearing what I was — that she did not have their support on anywhere near the same levels.

Maps that showed how people voted not only by state but also by county confirm the same. Metro areas appear as blue dots in an otherwise overwhelmingly red map.

Over and over I heard women in real life say that while they did not agree with some of the things Trump had said, they were voting for him. I know most of these women well. They are not Stepford wife types. They are not lifelong, hardcore right wing folks. They are not sexist, racist, bigoted, haters. They are not deplorable nor are they uninformed or unintelligent.

And I also know if they truly believed Trump was any of those things either, they never would have voted for him. Guaranteed. These are peaceful, kind, thoughtful women.

So I know many are worried that these people who voted for Trump are horrible, but they are not. Really.

I don’t believe he is either. To be honest, my guess is that he likely has Asperger’s or some sort of spectrum disorder, or put less technically is of such high intelligence in ways most people aren’t, that he just doesn’t naturally understand social graces. I know people like him in real life actually, and they are good people, if odd.

If you are among the worried, to you I say this, “It’s all going to be OK. I promise.” Relax. Have a glass of wine or something. And be thankful we live in a nation where we can vote. And disagree. And even protest peacefully (not riot, big difference) And vote again next time.

Imagine the Constitution saying, “I’ve got this!” Because it does! So long as we stick with that, pretty much every worst case scenario is checked and balanced. Thank Goodness for that!