Tags
cleaning, cooking, kids, mom time, parenting, quiet time, red pill, stay at home mom, working mom
I have a friend who at one time had four children under the age of five, none of them twins. One thing I noticed, was she was nearly always in the kitchen.
Of course one reason was because all those people were nearly always hungry, so cooking was a needed task. And she enjoyed cooking and was good at it.
But I realized another possible reason for her retreat to the kitchen after noticing the same with my own kids — one of the few times my kids will entertain themselves and give me a bit of peace and quiet is when I am cooking!
I get the same effect, but less so, when I am housecleaning. The kids might interrupt but not nearly to the degree as if I try to sit down and browse the web, write a post, read a book, etc.
I am curious if other moms have noticed kids chillaxing while mom is cooking and/or cleaning? Are there other times you notice the same?
I realized why women didn’t rule the world shortly after having my first child, btw. Kids can prevent a mom from getting stuff done more than anything…. it seems! Lol.
Another thing I am realizing more and more. They grow up quick. Someday I will miss all this as I sit in total quiet reading a book and wishing the kiddos were still little! Sniff.
What do you think?
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
When mom is busy, kids tend to keep busy. I like having my kids finish homework while I cook, that way I can pause to answer questions and be attentive, as well as give them space and time to do the work themselves. I also like not having to worry about homework after dinner and we can relax and have our family time then.
LOL!!!
Mine want to ‘help’. No rest for the wicked… Cooking and cleaning is challenging for me. I don’t want to burn their eyes with cleaning chemicals! Or chop little fingers along with the carrots. I do a lot of it in the evening, consider it a relaxing break (not that I dislike childcare, I just always loved cooking and cleaning).
I do sometimes pace around to prevent being climbed on, because the moment I sit…
To get some rest, a chair in front of a full sink and some plastic cups is well worth the 5 minute mopping afterward (min 30 minutes of peace) and I hire tutor/babysitters so I can get some housework done and cooking prepared.
Mad respect to anyone who can keep 5 under 5 alive!
My wife is semi-professional at-home-baker, she bakes about 2 celebration cakes a day, four days a week and there’s maybe an occasional master class over weekends. Kids entertain each other these days (ours are 10 and 5), now when both are at school from 9am to 3.30pm, but last year we had to employ a childminder to watch them after reception/school two days a week. So it only works to a certain limit.
Nevertheless, we are still able to keep them off gadgets. And we do not have a telly – well, we do, but no broadcasting, just some Netflix once a week or so. They do a lot of arts to entertain themselves – drawing, play-dough, origami, weaved bands, toys from carton boxes etc. And the older one reads a lot – a book a day, sometimes two. Public library to the rescue.
They had a lot of toys in the past, but then we realised that the best toys are what the kids made on their own, and just send 90% of that plastic shit to the dustbin. It was a couple of $k recycled, probably 🙂
This is very different from how our peers manage their kids (“give ’em something to keep ’em busy”), but that’s how we were raised back in Russia. Though we tended to play on the street a lot, and in 2016 it is no longer an option, even in country as safe as UK.
> Mad respect to anyone who can keep 5 under 5 alive!
Our babysitter is an under-35 mother of SIX. She says that babysitting our kids (who are very disciplined – and there are just two of them!) is her way to relax and have some peace. When she babysits, she drops three of her own to her mum, and the rest are being watched by her husband.
How she able to manage through the days – I have no clue.
Sergey, youtube has it’s advantages. Many of the videos are basically a lecture or documentary. The rare homeschoolers here all use it extensively. Not everything electronical is zombification 🙂
I suppose reading time is multitasking all of them, as is playdough time and if you have a tub, bath time. And playing with a ball, too…
As they get older, you have the 1 activity, play along or leave the house option.
@happyhousewifey
I don’t think that tech inherently bad, though they act as a superstimuli, and when kids left unattended with devices often, they get hooked up on being passive viewers, and lose the ability to think creatively and entertain themselves – or even communicate with peers except by staring at the gadget together.
Youtube is a lifesaver sometimes, but in our case (10 and 5) they always end up watching cartoons, as the learning stuff is either too complicated for the younger, or too boring for the older.
Something my girl’s preschool teacher showed me to keep them busy while gardening or outside, give them some water and paintbrushes! Kids love painting on anything they like and no clean up 🙂
Kids will also play for a long time in a shallow plastic pan filled with about an inch of water, add a few rocks and some small plastic critters, then invite the kids to decorate the little world with leaves, flowers, etc. 🙂
From my own experience as a child, when my mom was busy either cooking or cleaning, I know mom was doing some serious real work. So, I’d leave her the hell alone. Back in those days there was no internet or cell phones. Mom always listened to the radio, having jesus music or some televangelist blaring nonstop. Back in 1st grade when my class was making cards for a mother’s day project, the question that was put to every student was, “Name the greatest thing your mom does that shows she loves you,” And my answer was, “She cooks dinner.” My mom was a little put off when she read it. She says, “I take you places to eat, I buy you toys, WTF?” To which I replied, “The food you make from scratch at home is a million times better than the food at McDonalds as I get sick every time we get food from there. As for the toys you get for me, Mom you’re a girl, you don’t know what boys like to play with. At least Dad understands my need to see blood, gore, and violence.” Yes, I did actually speak like that at 7 years old.
There was a woman that I got to know pretty well who told me that for the first two years of her child’s life, she never got a hot meal. I can see your friend being in the kitchen all the time. They are like bears, always hungry.
that’s and interesting observation, Bloom. i think that when mom is doing things like cooking and cleaning, her mind is also available to her children, so they don’t feel a need to compete for her attention. but if she’s on the phone, online, etc, her mind is engaged elsewhere, and they need to do something to get her attention.
My kids are an amazing blessing and I am so thankful, and I am like the sun right now in their world. When claustrophobic I remember, “In everything a season.” Someday, it won’t all revolve around me, even if at the moment it can be a bit intense, it is also a scared responsibility and honor. And usually messy. And late. And doing the best I can…. lol.
It’s hard to explain. Maybe another post…
“The food you make from scratch at home is a million times better than the food at McDonalds as I get sick every time we get food from there. As for the toys you get for me, Mom you’re a girl, you don’t know what boys like to play with. At least Dad understands my need to see blood, gore, and violence.” Yes, I did actually speak like that at 7 years old.
Speak oddly you did.
More idd than me it would be
Context is everything. I grew up in a very poor community, and violence from neighboring boys I hung out with was common. Sometimes the violence was in a friendly competitive form, and others malicious. More often than not, malicious violence ruled the day. Yeah, it sucked, but it was what it was. A very “lord of the flies” type atmosphere when no adult supervision was around which was often.
And clothespins! Give them a bucket full of it, works almosy as good as water or sand.
The hard thing is not that they take half your time, it’s that they need 5 minutes out of every ten. It’s easier to see what blessings they are, when you get an hours worth of help now and then 🙂
Sergey you are absolutely right. If you want educational cartoons, something like the dr Binocs show on youtube (terrible English, but good info) and the magic schoolbus is also available.
GLA’s mom missed the memo on providing boys with weapons. You don’t have to, but then they will manufacture their own. My brothers were into DIY nunchucks (sp?) LOL
@ Yoda; as for speaking oddly, yes we dorky types do recognize our own, don’t we? You were one of those kids who always dressed up as yoda on Halloween, right? I was Chewbacca. Would’ve rather been a Freddy Krueger or one of Giger’s Aliens, or a rabid grizzly bear, but chewy was the next best thing.
Now that I think about it, the best thing my mom ever did for me when I was little was she read to me at bed time. She would often read some JRR Tolkien or some CS Lewis, (Screw Tape letters was cool, Chronicles of Narnia was alright too) but most often she would read me the bible, King James version and that usually put me to sleep right quick cuz that shit was hella dry and boring as all fucking hell. There were some good parts here and there, though. 5 year old me: “Hey mom, could you read that part about the four horseman of the apocalypse again? That was pretty cool.”
@GLA: My understanding, such as it is, says if you find yourself in a post-apocalypse situation, you had not been ready for things to change w/o warning like a thief in the night: 1 Thessalonians 5:2
In that case, beware the person everyone else is following who says THEY are the savior of humanity… even if they do bring 7 years of world peace and seem to be performing miracles.
Chewbacca was cool. A rabid grizzly bear? Not cuddly.