Tags
break up, break ups, commitment, commitment phobia, dating, divorce, marriage, red pill, relationships
Reader Mega recently questioned if he should continue to date a woman who he gets along with in every way except ideologically?
Apparently the recent election brought things to a head, with him on one side and her on another. As the discussions continued, the divide chafed more and more.
From what I have seen opposites may attract, but over time seeing the world from opposing viewpoints can lead to increasing strife, which is a lot harder to live with long term than increasing harmony.
He wondered if it was possible perhaps she would change her point of view with time? It’s a big “if.”
Now I do believe people can and do change their point of view, as I certainly did upon discovering the red pill, but usually people have to do so on their own. It’s not something you can really talk someone else into.
In the long run I would say it is easier to be with someone who shares your worldview, than opposes it. Especially if they can’t agree to disagree.
After all, isn’t life complicated enough? Yes. Yes it is.
As one man explained it to me once, ladies, men spend their whole lives scrapping with each other in the public sphere — for jobs, for status, for recognition, for respect, for territory, for everything basically. The last thing a guy wants to do is retreat into his private world and encounter strife or competition there as well. No. A man wants and needs his woman to be a soft place to land.
If I were a betting gal, chances are Mega’s 50-some-year-old girlfriend will soon be on her own once again. Perhaps, it will be a moment of awakening. Perhaps not.
But the chances of a cantankerous 50-some-year-old woman finding someone willing to put up with such behavior for long are slim. Really, it’s not “attractive” to most men to be in a constant debate with a partner. Perhaps, she should think about it before it is too late. Maybe better for her to just drop it, even if she doesn’t change her point of view, rather than continue the verbal sparring?
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
Some men like a woman who says yes to everything. Somen men like a woman who gives them a headache (yes they do!). Most men like a woman who is on their side, will speak up but not dig her heels in.
A relationship can survive one heel-digger, never two.
True, HHW. I am often amazed at some of the women I see coupled up!
To clarify, I don’t think a gal needs to be a “yes” woman necessarily, but harping on and on about things…. not good for a relationship. Sometimes just dropping it rather than trying to be the “winner” is the best route.
I’d ask whether she is able to be respectful of his views….specifically, can she make a reasonable stab at answering the question ‘What do you think my reasons are for believing X’ rather than just answering ‘Because you’ve been indoctrinated by Fox News’, or something along those lines.
OK, popcorn is ready.
Ultimately this question is all about value. If the woman in question has nothing more to offer to the relationship than the availability of her vagina, then the question is whether the value of her sexual availability is outweighed by her contentiousness. If a woman’s only real value to a man is measured by her willingness to have sex, she is imminently replaceable. In fact, keeping a contentious woman around blocks him from finding a more peaceful woman with an equally available vagina.
At 50+ years of age, what is she truly offering to the relationship? They don’t have shared history, they don’t have children and won’t have grandchildren together. All they have is their relationship. She has needs, he has needs and it has to be win-win or no deal. The only question is how to get to “win-win” conditions and the answer lies with her attitude.
If the woman in question takes the position that he is in charge and demonstrates it by not refusing when he wanted sex, by being obedient to his wishes and by accepting his accountability when she is disobedient to his wishes, her political opinions won’t matter. She’s a keeper. Note that doesn’t mean “doormat” and it doesn’t mean she can’t have her own opinion that she can and will voice.
However, if she has the attitude of “my body, my choice” and “who are you to tell me what to do” then clearly her contentiousness in political issues is merely a harbinger of what is to come. In fact, this sort of woman will always be ready to jump ship just as soon as she convinces herself some other man has a chocolate penis that ejaculates money.
But don’t try to explain this to her. A woman’s solipsism is the most impenetrable armor known to man.
Rather than dumping her, I suggest finding another girlfriend, preferably one who is more agreeable but not as objectively good-looking. See what kind of effect competition will have when she realizes her behavior is the problem. In the alternate, younger and better looking is also good, but don’t dump Ms Political. Let her earn the attention she gets if she decides to stick around. He is the prize, not her. The refusal to accept poor behavior is proof of a man’s high value. Let her be the one to walk away if she can’t handle it.
For men, I recommend the 16 Commandments of Poon by Heartiste for further reading.
A chocolate penis that ejaculates money.
A chocolate penis that ejaculates money.
I think I love him, I don’t care that he is imaginary, that’s just a minor hurdle.
On second thought, I would eat my source of satisfaction and income and end up broke amd lonely. Still, a chocolate penis that ejaculates money…
“In the long run I would say it is easier to be with someone who shares your worldview, than opposes it.”
Well said and I agree 100%.
For Mega, it is either keep her or dump her. If everything else is all right, I would lean to keep. This election was all about gender and it stirred up resentment in a lot of people. There had to be a lot of empty chairs at Thanksgiving this year. That, and more than a few divorces. But, if this is something worse bubbling to the surface, it may be best to go the other way. Maybe Toad’s idea of some dread game is a good idea. Truth be told, we’re all speculating because we don’t have enough to go on.
@HHW said
“I would eat my source of satisfaction and income and end up broke and lonely. Still, a chocolate penis that ejaculates money…”
I’m imagining a video of a woman with a far-away look of longing in her eyes, with a voice-over providing those thoughts… wistful but sad smile at the end…
I would never date a bitch who cared more about her politics then she did about draining my balls
Do a series of posts on “graciousness” one should
Referring to me Master Yoda?
“On second thought, I would eat my source of satisfaction and income and end up broke amd lonely. Still, a chocolate penis that ejaculates money…”
Don’t feel bad, HHW. Most women would do exactly the same thing and without any second thoughts at that. For them, it would be more along the lines of a convenient afterthought of, “OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!! WTF did I just do????” Then a soft whisper out of the ether whispers, “Welcome to hell.” 😛
Availability means going to bed naked, knowing he will appreciate that.
Willingness means cheerfully helping him make a wet spot when he does.
Enthusiasm is working to make another wet spot so everyone can suffer equally.
Graciousness is changing the sheets so nobody has to sleep on a wet spot.
I think he maybe meant me, Ton. But sure, why not? Ton’s thoughts on graciousness! 🙂
I’m in favor of it in others; aginit regarding myself
Boisterous strongly opinionated women fun at parties they might be.
But one want to marry them not
@ Ton, I would never have guessed! Lol. 😉
Now I do believe people can and do change their point of view, as I certainly did upon discovering the red pill, but usually people have to do so on their own. It’s not something you can really talk someone else into
Need to be open to it and/or looking for answers they do.
Somewhat rare this is
Ton good heart he has.
Though some people see this not.
@ Yoda, true. And I was once not so different, having been told my whole life, “Speak up, girl! Say what you think!!!” I cringe to think how I used to buy the whole “modern woman” thing. I think a lot of women have been raised gracious=doormat, opinionated=strong. Blue pill, female version.
A chocolate penis that ejaculates money.
Perhaps one that ejects sticky gooey caramel appropriate it would be
@Yoda indeed, I bet the Ton has a much bigger heart than he lets on…. I mean the guy rescues animals! How could he not have a good heart? 🙂
Best when opinions make sense they do.
Strong stupid opinions are impressive not
Careful and sparing with words Yoda is.
Wise this would be.
Bear sometimes silly he is.
Put emotions before considering out come.
50??? A 50 year old woman has a boyfriend?
And is giving him grief?? The divide chaffes??
Lady you won the lottery just getting a bf.
Agree to disagree graciously and drop it and treat him sweetly.
For him.
One word. NEXT.
There are hundreds and hundreds of available 50 year olds.
(Then again…whats wrong with 40? 35?)
Just in our small circle there are 5+ 40-50 year olds who have said outright
“If you dont want him….”
She KNOWS it would literally take a phone call.
(And I aint that great…just employed)
Mrs was not dropping something the other day. Went to work in a huff.
I texted “Gee I wonder what X (seperated 45 year old friend) would think?”
Apology was incoming within 38 seconds.
Morale of the story.
Dread and both of you knowing Realistically, EXACTLY what your market value is makes life Sssssoooooo much easier and drama free.
I have honestly told her and absolutely mean it
“We have one fight left asnd it ends one way.”
Not a threat and she is no doormat, we disagree all the time
Then work it thru.
But I mean a stupid, no back down dramafest
It ends one and only one way.
I hope it is never necessary but I would hesitate as much as Mal takin down the Lawman.
P.s. Rest in Peace Ron Glass aka Sheppard Book.
The Ton indeed suffers from exercise-induced cardiomegaly
1st diagnosed at 12 years old or so
Sheppard Book!
A pop culture reference I get! Miracles do occur
SFC Tonsaid:November 28, 2016 at 10:59 pm
“aginit regarding myself”
liar 😉
If we are to believe the good people who study these things, single women lean well to the left of both married women and men of all kinds. If this is true, then ladies who reject, a priori, conservative suitors are, in fact, condemning these gentlemen for the crime of being men. Likewise, gentlemen who decline to pursue a lady because she displays liberal affinities are striking her off the list merely because she displays behavior typical of single women.
With this in mind, I advise courting couples to avoid the topic of politics altogether. After all, the statistics suggest that, once married, the lady in question is likely to change her views.
Jackie, I think you are reversing cause and consequence. Lefty views in women make them less desirable as a wife.
A question of “Team Woman” versus “Team Her Man” it would be
I agree Yoda. It’s always better when a man’s women work together as a team and make pleasing him a team effort.
While I think marriage is a bad idea I think marrying with the intent your spouse will change to meet your requirements is a particularly bad idea.
What Ton said… in spades.
no two people agree on everything, so one can assume that in a relationship there will be things you do not agree on. then it comes down to:
– how do you disagree, and
– whether or not those things are deal breakers.
can she disagree and still place herself under him?
can she disagree and not have it permeate her attitude negatively?
can she disagree and still respect him?
can she disagree and still honor him?
can she disagree and still submit to him?
at over-50, she’s pretty much set-in-stone, not pliable. and ideological differences can be pretty extreme.
are the differences just splitting hairs? or are they landing you on two different planets? and how does she respond to the differences? does she focus on the differences or does she relax and focus on what’s good? when she’s with her female friends, how does she talk about you?
and … whatever is an issue before marriage will likely become volcanic after marriage, especially if not dealt with.
i certainly don’t agree with my husband on everything, but where we disagree, i choose not to let it become between us or to lower my opinion of him or to let it grow to something disproportionate between us. i choose to place myself under his authority even when i disagree.
Good points, Ame! That’s what I mean by agreeing to disagree 🙂
So for example, one person thinking X and the other thinking Y but not letting it come between them is better than one or both continuing to bicker and keep bringing it up as a bone of contention, trying to “win.”
I think either men or women can refuse to let something go, but from what I see women are more likely to hold onto stuff or keep bringing up old stuff.
“I think either men or women can refuse to let something go, but from what I see women are more likely to hold onto stuff or keep bringing up old stuff.”
*smiling* … yeah, we’re bad about that. it seems there’s a place (or two) in my memory where my husband might have said to me something like, “Are we still bringing that up?” ummmm …. oooops …. ye-ah. and he ends it right there.
Wow … this thread is about me, lol !!! I’m honored … thanks RPG !!!
So to elaborate … sex is not the issue. She more than willing to comply with my needs and frankly I think she is enjoying herself more than she dreamed possible and is having the time of her life sexually. Last weekend we had sex 5 times (fri/sat) so we are definitely getting our monies worth, lol.
The new girl (we’ve been going out since August) divorced about a yr and a half ago after a 27 yr marriage. So like lots of men who get dumped in middle age … she is shocked at the changes in the dating marketplace and is trying to cope. As I learned after taking the RP … I made my intentions known immediately … I expected sex … and if she wasn’t willing to provide it … then I wasn’t interested. Actually the “then I wasn’t interested” really never came into play … it was … if you want to date me, I expect sex. We fucked on the second date and have never looked back; we have gotten together every weekend since and the sex is only getting better and better.
Its actually kind of a weird deal. I think in some respects she has no idea what her real situation is. And how lucky she is, to have met someone like me. Given that she was married for 27 years … its kinda like a middle aged man (like I once was) who gets blindsided by his wife seeking divorce. He shows up in court expecting to be treated fairly, that the judge will be reasonable, thinks that the Law is fair and unbiased and if there are accusations that they must be backed up by evidence. UNTIL he shows up in court … he believes the Blue Pill lies he’s been fed. My new girlfriend HAS YET TO SHOW UP IN COURT and have a 4×4 be covered with tar, lit on fire, and shoved up her ass so far it hits the back of her brain cells and is left there smoldering for years … to rot and destroy her life. Doesn’t know the hate that divorce-rape brings. Doesn’t know the hate when she suddenly realizes that she flushed her entire life down the toilet because she believed the lies she was fed.
That she has missed out on that … is a good thing. I almost brought it up one time, though. Me: You do realize that women who divorced after 50 almost never get re-married, right? There is like a 5% chance you’ll find another husband and a 95% chance that you’ll live for another 30 to 40 years and you’ll NEVER find anyone. You’ll be alone for the rest of your life, never have sex, never have companionship, never share with another human being ever again … you will get old and then older and eventually die alone. DO YOU REALIZE THAT ?
Of course I kept my mouth shut. But that is the ugly truth of the situation.
She doesn’t realize the horror of her ways, of her decision to dump her husband at her age. And still believes in the Blue Pill Feminist lies that she was brainwashed into believing. Like all the people who read Huff-Po that predicated a 92% chance of Hillary winning … and when she didn’t … they didn’t know how to cope. Guess what … Huff-Po readers … YOU WERE LIED TO ! So anyway, my new GF doesn’t realize her situation either. Doesn’t realize that she’s been lied to, fed lies, … fed feminist, blue pill, man hate for decades. Told her pussy trumps all … and you-go-girl !!! Yea, she thinks she’s gonna dump her hubby and then life is going to be wonderful. Till she finds out the truth. And the truth IS PRETTY UGLY.
Do you really want someone to face that kind of truth ? Anyone? A man facing divorce-rape ? An older women facing her ultimate reality ? Its similar things. HARSH, VERY HARSH. Who wants to put someone thru that crap … not me. I didn’t enjoy it when it was done to me and I won’t enjoy seeing it done to anyone else … male or female … especially someone I care for. Cause I like her. So its fucked up … I know the truth … but can’t tell her. And even if I did, she wouldn’t buy it anyway.
So, me and the new girl get along great. Really do. I just hope to rub off enough on her … over time … for her to wake up and realize the truth on her own … to take the Red Pill gradually and give up the Blue Pill lies she now thinks are true. Essentially … lead by example and hope she follows. Don’t know if that’s possible. You can lead a horse to water but can’t make it drink and all that. It would be much better if she figured it out on her own …
“I think either men or women can refuse to let something go, but from what I see women are more likely to hold onto stuff or keep bringing up old stuff.”
My ex never forgot nor forgave. That is partly why she is my ex
“I think either men or women can refuse to let something go …”
Read something once that the secret to a good marriage / relationship is to have a good forgettery.
As a man who dates a lot of women, I can unequivocally say that the vast majority of them being raised in this climate are completely unsuitable for any sort of marriage or long-term commitment. Their attitudes bring little to no value to a man’s life.
As RPG points out, the life of a man is essentially a constant struggle for power, competing with other men. The last thing he wants is to have a relationship with a woman that is essentially a constant power struggle. Why would he?