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culture, dating, life, marriage, modern life, parenting, red pill, relationships
Something I have written about in several different ways, but that I think bears repeating, is how my red pill awakening resulted in the uncomfortable realization that almost everything I had been taught about “how the world works” really doesn’t.
Even now I find myself having to be conscious of that old programming and not letting it back in.
For example, I was raised to not act or dress too feminine, because that was weakness and asking to be a victim. I was told to put off marriage and family, and instead to worship the Gods of education, career, and independence. I was taught men were not to be trusted, that they were out to get me, that they would oppress me and/or hold me back at every turn. I was taught children were a burden, they would keep me from my own hopes and dreams, and to put them off as long as possible if not indefinitely. I was taught to think, “Me first!”
Things is, I did all that and it didn’t work. If anything it lead to failed relationships, workaholism, disconnection, paranoia, and putting my own internal wisdom aside to follow the “modern” way.
If you have also been raised with some of this way of thinking, ask yourself, “How’s that working out?” And if it isn’t, start relearning what does work. Root out the misinformation, and do different even when at times it feels “wrong” or “weird.” Because it will.
Realize as you make new and different choices, others will try to push you back on the path you are abandoning. Look at their lives and ask yourself, “it is working for them?” before taking advice.
The good news is the ancient wisdom is in there. Trust it. Seek it. Grow. Share.
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
There is a new post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2016/12/12/cause-and-effect/
The good news is the ancient wisdom is in there. Trust it. Seek it. Grow.
It worked before for centuries. Perhaps there is something there
Dear Little Red-Headed Girl
I was reading your blog post to Marcie and Peppermint Patty and I realized that I was lied to as well.
I was raised to not act or dress too masculine, because that was showing off and asking for a fight. I was told to put off early marriage and family, and instead to focus on my education, career, and earning capacity so I would be ready to support a family when I got married. I was taught women were trustworthy, that they would never lie to me or cheat on me; and as long as I was a good man, that they would love me and support me at every turn. Sally always took advantage of that, but I thought it was because she was my little sister. I was taught children were a blessing, they would always know I was their father and love me, and to put them and their mother first and be willing to suffer anything for them. I was taught to think, “Put family first!”
My marriage to Lucy, they years of abuse and the divorce really opened my eyes. I guess I should have known what would happen after all the things she did to me when we were little, but I didn’t. The court gave her custody of Snoopy and he kept running away to come find me so the court threw me in jail for a while. Lucy wound up living in the house I bought for her, she and her boyfriend are sleeping in the bed that I bought for us and I used to see her boyfriend driving in around in my car. Neither of them worked, they just lived on the money I was required to send each month.
Marcy and Peppermint Patty are still together and after I lost my job and was about to get thrown in jail again they helped me move to Canada and I’m staying with them now. Snoopy likes it and Woodstock finally made it up here so they’re happy.
I hope things worked out for you, I’m glad that you learned the truth too.
Your friend,
Charlie Brown
In response to Toad,
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2015/05/18/lucy-van-pelt-role-model/
Thanks Ms Bloom, and your post reminds me of another post made recently by a girl who has also taken the Red Pill. And who knows a thing or two about what makes a good relationship work. Hope this help your audience. FYI I sent this to my new girl last week before she showed up this weekend. And yeah … we bonded, lol. So yeah … it works and some pretty good advice: http://judgybitch.com/2016/11/25/8-signs-you-are-dating-the-right-person/
(sorry I broke my promise)
Farm Boy, you just didn’t know what she was like later. She really was kind of a role model for little girls but she grew up and by the time she was 17 she really filled out that dress. Then I was away at college and didn’t see her for a few years, but I met her when I was back home after I got picked up by one of the minors. I thought she’d really changed because she was really interesting and sweet.
I ran into her again a couple of years later when I got signed by one of the majors and she was more mature and seemed perfect. All the stuff that happened when we were kids was just stuff we could laugh about, she was agreeable and horny as hell. She was fantastic- and she could suck the lug nuts off a truck. We spent a week together and then I had to go to Florida for spring training. She called me a couple of months later and said she was pregnant and I thought I should do the right thing and we got married. It was weird, the day we got married was the last day I ever saw her naked. It turned out she wasn’t pregnant.
A few weeks after my probationary period ended and I got my sign-on bonus she filed for divorce. Even though we’d only been married a few months, it was pretty bad, she got half of everything and I had to write monster checks every month. Then I blew out my shoulders and couldn’t pitch any more and things went downhill from there, but the support payments couldn’t be changed. That’s what the Judge said.
Anyway, I’m in Canada now and she can’t touch me. Snoopy is getting old and moves pretty slow now, sometimes I know he’s dreaming about the Red Baron. Woodstock’s family comes to visit every spring, stays for the summer and they fly out in the fall. I’ve become a fan of soccer, I don’t watch baseball or football any more. I got a job working for the city doing project planning and I’m going back to school to get a masters degree, so things are looking up, I just wish I could have been taught how things really were when I was a kid.
Charlie Brown
We gen xers were taught wrong. It’s not our fault it’s just what we’ve grown up with. Instead of following the examples of our parents we follow the examples of the media. The fact that this is still occurring is disturbing.
Maybe this is a topic for a whole other post but lots of dating/marriage/relationship advice there days is projection — try reversing the sexes and see if the advice makes more sense in reverse?
My kids watched Charlie Brown the other day and laughed their little heads off at Lucy being thrown away with a piano (when she’s trying to hit on the musician kid and he’s NOT interested). That’s the part they loved best! It was Charlie Brown Christmas or wants a dog for Christmas or something.
It took me a while to distinguish between advice being given in an authoritarian tone and advice being given by someone who had it working out well for them.
I know exactly how this feels. I am actually an immigrant and the moment I stepped into Australia, many of my family embraced the libertarian views straight away. Suddenly ‘your mother and grandmother were just housewives, who were oppressed’ because suddenly being liberal was so ‘cool’. I was free now, and they basically guilted me into thinking I had to ‘carry the torch’ for them and take advantage of my ‘freedom’.
Little did they know they and the Western society were just pushing me further and further into a cage.
Charlie Brown,
Perhaps married Linus you should have
it wasnt just the girls who were fed misinformation. guys were fed it too.
when in was in my late teens/early twenties, there was a girl in town who had a huge crush on me. i liked her but never got involved with her, because our families were friends.
we crossed paths in our 30s and almost hooked up, but i was still married and couldn’t get myself to do anything with her. she told me that she had hooked up with some random guy one night way back, because i wasn’t paying attention to her. i tried talking to her, but she just went silent on me.
now in our mid 50s and she just contacted me a couple of weeks ago, and started to try to chat me up.
makes me wonder if i should have taken a different path all those years ago, that included her.
FML,
Why do you think that that woman would have been a good choice?
I really don’t know that she would have been. but after 45 years of more or less knowing each other, she still seems to have some tingles for me. and if we had started something way back then, it probably would have followed a more traditional path.
Or she would have turned my bones in to wind chimes, and my skull into a holder for the christmas candle…
Families being friends is a plus in relationships!
Toad,
Charlie Brown deserved a whole lot better out of life. To compound all this, Lucy is blessed by all the world for being strong, independent, and empowered. I have two words to say for all this.
I am still mad about the Charlie Brown story. The road to hell is paved with good intentions and it is the the honest and sincere that are sent there.
I hope that I haven’t killed this thread. there is a warning here for women. There are a lot of of men out there like Toad’s example of Charlie Brown who have been harmed irreparably by this sexual marketplace. Tread lightly.
Families being friends is a plus in relationships!
Is this true?
The purpose of this blog to root out false information it is.
A very worth purpose this would be
discerning the truth amidst all the lies is always the challenge. i’m not sure any generation had the truth handed to them like sunshine on a clear day, but it does seem that the layers of lies of the last several generations have multiplied exponentially before the truth has begun to bust out of its cell.
reprogramming our brains and hearts and minds to live in that truth, react in that truth, and respond in that truth subconsciously seems overwhelming sometimes, and the baby steps can sometimes seem like we’re not making any progress.
having a special needs daughter has taught me to slow down and work on the baby steps and search for the tiny fragments of progress. i don’t always succeed, but overall, i think i’ve done a pretty good job. just this evening she sat down with me to tell me that she thinks i’m not getting some things right with her. she’s fixin to turn 17, and that’s an age where we think our parents really don’t have a clue what they’re doing. seeing that our convo seemed to be heading for a standoff, i decided to turn the tables a bit and asked her how she thought i should be towards and for her right now. that caused her pause. i told her not to answer now but to take some time to think about it, write it down, and then let me know. i know she’s at that age where she thinks she knows better than i, and i also know she’s very impulsive and reactive and impressionable – even more-so than normal, and she’s normally quite extreme on all three. i see her fighting through the murkiness of her age, the natural delays in some areas due to her disabilities, and her erratic teenage emotions to discern the truth. it’s an age where we truly believe no one else knows what’s best, especially those older than us. since she tends to do things extreme, i’m a bit more protective of her – trying to create bumper-lane boundaries while still allowing her to play life … helping to guide her through all the lies to the truth in ways that will cause her to choose to see clearly. i feel like the waters are treacherous; i’m sure most parents have felt the same of their children – especially their children with adventurous personalities. sometimes i feel like she’s gunning the engine, waiting for the real race in life to begin, so she can fly out of here. i just pray that when she does that i’ve filled her with enough truth that it will trump the lies and emotions, especially during pivotal and transformational moments in her life.
– – –
AT – clever.
Farm Boy, unless your family is nasty, of course. Support from all sides in difficult times like sickness, help around childbirth/care, you can invite them all for the holidays without awkwardness, kids all together playing, no difficult start testing the waters at first but instant trust, social policing (I hear your military wives need a lot of that?). A relationship is only ever just 2 people if both are single child orphaned hermits.
Ame, there’s this book called hold on to your kids, about preventing peer pressure from taking over. I’m planning on reading it, it may be a nice one for you, too?
In the beginning it was not lies. There really were issues that needed to be addressed.
I was paid much less in my first jobs for doing exactly the same work as the guy next to me. The excuse was he would want to marry someday and therefore needed to amass assets. And because I married right out of high school I had someone to support me and I should be thankful that I was given the job in the first place. But what about the girls who didn’t find a husband.
The girls I knew in high school who got pregnant had to drop out by the time they were starting to show and then gave the baby up for adoption.And most of them went away to visit family during the showing time.Or like my one sister got married at 15. Myself I had to quit my job (not take mat leave) at the seven month mark. Married teachers had to leave their job before they started to show.
You had a choice about dressing I did not. If I showed up at school wearing trousers I would have been sent home to change. Here in the great white north winter is cruel and even more so in a skirt with only bobby socks or at best knee socks.
I, too, was taught that all men/boys were out to get me. Well, not me per se since I was and am a nerdy bean pole. So somethings didn’t change right away.
From the day I was married I was questioned constantly about whether I was pregnant yet and why not.And told that it was cruel to have only one child – cruel to said child.
I so wanted to go to university but my father said no. Girls get married and stay home and have babies so they do not need an education past high school. Or as with my one sister get married before finishing high school. I understand his point of view, he had 5 daughters and wanted to marry us off as fast as he could.
These are just things that affected me. There were probably many more things that needed attention back then.
But things have changed too much. Now girls will deliberately get pregnant so that they can leave home with a welfare income and child support.
I am astonished with the type of clothing even the elementary school children wear to school these days. They walk by my house on their way.
I suppose men are still not to be trusted(ie out to get you) but at the same time neither are the women.
Marriage is as disposable as everything else now a days. I personally understand the concept of once burned twice shy. What I find strange is that men today who get married still really seem to believe in forever but not the women.
But I am glad now that I married young. I had the energy to take care of three children. And they all grew up and I had an empty nest at an age where I still had the energy to enjoy it.
I really hope that some sort of balance can be achieved. But I am not holding my breath.
Good points Linny! Thanks for adding that.
I think Cyn hit the nail. The media and government now raises kids and not parents and community.
I was raised the same way and also realized how unhappy I was. It’s so counterintuitive. As little girls, we play with baby dolls and pretend to cook and be moms.
My mom (and many others) claim they enjoyed working and having a career while having kids, but I can’t help but think they’re lying. It’s not natural to grow a baby in your womb for nine months and then give it to someone else all day to raise.