Yesterday, my oldest daughter got a look on her face I know very well — the face when hormones attack.
It started with a misunderstanding on her part that it was Friday, when it was actually Thursday. She had been particularly happy it was Friday, because that was the last day before Christmas break. So I can understand her disappointment to discover, no, tomorrow is Friday and there is one more day of school before break.
This daughter is and always has been low key, quiet, and mild. So when I saw THAT look on her face, I do not even know how to describe it, besides “I am about to implode in rage and I may just take this whole place down with me!!!!” Kind of the look on Carrie’s face in the movie when the mean kids dump pigs blood on her. Yeah. Terrifying.
She was otherwise totally, eerily quiet. Then she said, “But my phone said it was Thursday yesterday.”
Trying to offset the darkness with light, I chirped in as cheery of a voice as I could manage, “Oh dear, I don’t know how that could be? Shoot. Let’s look…” and then I showed her on both my cell phone and computer, it was, sadly, indeed Thursday.
I could see her internal hormone cloud swirling and increasing in size by the minute. The eye of the storm was approaching fast. Gulp. She was NOT happy. She stared right at me, with that haunting look, as if to demand that I fix it and fix it now.
Oh dear.
At this point I realized that the cart may be about to come flying off the wheels at any moment, remembering my own hormonal storms at her age. So I did what all good moms would do. I explained I needed five minutes alone, and I walked outside. Before whatever possessing my child made her head start spinning around and projectile green vomit to come directly my way.
I strolled around in the brisk air a bit, and then I see her, stomping with that same look on her face, across the yard toward me.
I reminded her I was taking five minutes, and really would be right back. I said, “I am feeling a bit overwhelmed for some reason at the moment, and I just need to get a grip on myself.” (Hoping she would think to herself, “Yeah, me too.”)
She stomped back to the house and I finished my five minute stroll.
When I came back in the house, I could tell the storm had passed, she had mentally moved on, and that disaster had been averted.
And to her credit she never did “lose it” despite my knowing she absolutely wanted to (and I know, because I have been there my hormonal self.)
I started making dinner, asking for her to help me and otherwise keeping busy. As we were almost done cooking, I said to her, “I think what just happened was hormones. Did you feel that intense feeling?” She agreed, and then I continued, “But I am so proud of you for not losing it. Lots of girls do, and can cause a lot of unnecessary drama. Sometimes you will feel like this, and when it happens, remember it is hormones and what you are feeling is turned up by 10 because of that.”
She totally got it. Whew.
Of course we will see month after month to come, but the younger women can be taught to recognize a hormonal storm and how to contain the disaster, and control their emotions in general, the better.
Or maybe I really should consider building a tower where she can be for the next few years. I can see now why such stories exist!
I don’t think that you need to build a tower. I think that she learned something from this. She made an honest mistake about the date and had to deal from the disappointment arising from it. She is a little more grown up now.
i think youve taught her just how to make moms ascared o-her.
When “fix this now” mention you did
Triggered this memory it would
Glad that controlled herself like this girl did not your daughter did
Yoda,
While I don’t know the age of of RPG’s girl, she is clearly more mature than that example.
Yay Bloom
Thanks to Yoda for that clip, saved me a search
My daughter is younger, but already has a better grip on herself.
The video is an example when it’s coddled and allowed. Not good.
Now that it really is Friday, is she fully recovered? Maybe do something she likes?
Perhaps make Christmas cookies with her you should
“But my phone said it was Thursday yesterday.”
The correct answer was, ” Nope, your phone is wrong. Suck it up cupcake!” Then watch her explode and you laugh as she screams and cries. “Let the butt hurt flow through you.” 😛
Christmas cookies? Need any help eating them?
New post at Spawny’s there is
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2016/12/17/to-hug-or-not-to-hug/
Yes, she is happily eating popcorn and drinking hot chocolate w marshmallows!
I may have at least snickerdoodle and sugar cookie makings on hand…
GLA, that was my [plan B. lol 😉
. “Let the butt hurt flow through you.” 😛
Quote me wrong you do
Said this not I did
Hot chocolate with marshmallows? She’s fine!
(Taking notes)
Awesome parenting.
Our latest action during a meltdown (toddler lost at Mikado) was to make a video and laugh about blackmailing him with it later. To be fair we wouldn’t (family first!), but it was just too funny :p
It took a while to sink in, but boys can’t claim “hormones” except for attraction. We have to resist the urge to fly into uncontrolled rage with reason.
ohhh … just, ohhhh!
great job, Mom! navigating these hormonal mine fields on a continuous rotating basis is just, exhausting. teaching our daughters to take their own time-outs is priceless. allowing them to take those time outs is wisdom. really, great job 🙂
This made me think about my dad and first a wave of pity overcame me followed by a wave of pride.
This was a man with a wife and five daughters (all born within six years) no sons and he never lost his shite once with us. He never punished us or even hollered at us. I don’t even remember my parents having an argument, not saying it didn’t happen but never in front of the children.
Now I must say we behaved like little ladies whenever he was around. We were never overtly taught that we must act this way it was just something that was. I was raised in the traditional way where the man was the head of the household so maybe that accounted for our behavior.
Yes, hormones do have an effect on us women but I have never considered it an excuse for bad behavior and never accepted that excuse from my daughters.
I am so glad you are teaching your daughters that they can control their actions even when in the grip of hormones.
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