A gal I met recently through work (not the gal I have written about before considering frivorce) called to tell me she is getting divorced.
This took me by surprise because as far as I could see, they were a happy family. They have a son (8) and a daughter (6) who I had always assumed were both theirs, but she just revealed the son is from his previous marriage. (Note the odd timing, was he still married when they met?)
She had shown me the photos from their beautiful wedding just a few years ago. They have been together since before the daughter was born, but only married 2-3 years ago.
As she went on about how it was all him, how he was a narcissist, how he has been physically violent, how she had to file a restraining order, how he is having an affair, how he was upset because she is still in the home with all of his belongings, how he is keeping her from seeing the son, and on and on… I couldn’t help but wonder if she herself wasn’t the narcissist leaving a scorched earth behind her as she blew up her marriage?
I can’t say why exactly this thought crossed my mind. Perhaps it was how the whole tale centered around her as the victim, or how it was 100% all his fault, or how she didn’t once mention how the kids were doing, or seem concerned about how all this was affecting them, or how she was seemingly trying to “build her case” as the blameless and helpless victim, or exactly what it was.
Just on a hunch I checked her Facebook. She has already wiped it clean of all photos of the wedding, her ex, the son, etc. All that remained were photos of her or her and the daughter, appearing as if they had been just the two of them all along. Gone were many many photos that I know were there not too long ago because she had shown me. In fact, her prior Facebook was a carefully created picture of family bliss. Not a hint of anything wrong in Denmark. And now, less than a week after the split, it has been scrubbed of any mention of a recent marriage or divorce.
Odd.
In the past I would have automatically believed her tale, but after hearing such tales from the other side around the manosphere, I now take things with a grain of salt.
Maybe it is as she said. I am not denying such things happen.
But, and this is just a hunch, she’s recently started working with a very successful and very single man whose business is taking off. Could this perhaps be the real motive behind the split? Sadly, it would not surprise me. I am sure all will come out in time. It always does.
Sigh.
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
RPG,
It may be best to go with your gut instinct on this one. I was thinking along the same lines until you made your position plain. What I think we have here is a case of the wife blowing the marriage up to monkey branch. If this is the case, there is nothing the husband could have done to prevent it.
Will you keep us posted?
Best warn her social set’s hubbies that divorce is contagious.
However, as happened with such a woman friend of my sister, when the newly liberated woman ended up single in a small cottage with the daughters and hubby remarried younger, hotter, tighter, sweeter with a bigger house, all her circle sobered up over the romance of ‘freedom’.
It can cut both ways.
Judging by my divorce, never believe a woman’s story, especially a self serving one. She had no guilt, it was all me. Personally I’d say I was down for 25% of the start of it, she then ran it into the wall at high speed almost, almost unaided. How? Because her family believed her hook, line and sinker until it dawned on them too late that her tales were richly delusional. They were actually a quite reasonable to me by the end.
If asked most fair minded divorcés will say that it’s complicated…because it usually is.
Spawny Get has a good point. Divorce is contagious.
Spawny Getsaid:January 12, 2017 at 8:37 pm
Judging by my divorce, never believe a woman’s story, especially a self serving one. She had no guilt, it was all me. Personally I’d say I was down for 25% of the start of it, she then ran it into the wall at high speed almost, almost unaided. How? Because her family believed her hook, line and sinker until it dawned on them too late that her tales were richly delusional. They were actually a quite reasonable to me by the end.
If asked most fair minded divorcés will say that it’s complicated…because it usually is.
– – – – –
Never believe … a self serving story … where one has no guilt and completely blames the other party. “If asked most fair-minded divorces will say that it’s complicated … because it usually is.”
truth. ‘legit.’ yes.
i was shocked to discover my ex blamed me for everything … EVERYthing. he screwed someone else, it was my fault. he got angry, it was my fault. he threw things, it was my fault. he did or didn’t do ___, it was my fault. whenever i took responsibility for my stuff, he dumped it all on me. after the divorce he continued to blame me. it was my fault he didn’t like our girls. it was my fault he told the girls he didn’t like them and didn’t want to see them again. he would actually say to me, “This is your choice, Ame.” if i had kept the girls from him or had brainwashed them against him, i could give him some room there, but neither happened. he had open access to our girls, and i took responsibility for all of it with our children.
it’s sad what people will do, how they will delude themselves.
and the kids loose the most. every.single.time.
– – – – –
OP – those two kids will loose the most 😦
[sigh] A stab in the dark. This began with the words “paternity test”.
so shes complaining about not seeing the boy, who isn’t hers, but she took his pictures off of Facebook?
yeah, that sounds legit. she’s developing her story as she goes.
RPG, good article and sorry to here about yet another story like that. It is never 100% either party’s fault and anyone who claims that … … is lying and playing the victim card. And usually, in “Women’s Eyes” THEY ARE THE VICTIM.
In my experience, when it comes to Divorce and Kids … WOMEN ALWAYS LIE .. NOTHING IS THEIR FAULT. EVER.
I will disagree with you on one thing. You said “I am sure all will come out in time. It always does.”.
Sorry to say it … but many times it doesn’t. The woman will blame the man, burn down her marriage, ruin her children, start over, marry again, move on in life AND many times … the truth WILL NEVER COME OUT. In fact, many times it gets worse. If you talk to your lady friend 10 yrs from now and have her describe her Ex and you’d think he was Satan Incarnate because she’s convince herself that he is.
That’s been my experience anyway. Maybe small towns are different where its hard to keep a secret though.
Of course Fuzzie, will keep you posted. I am not trying to betray anyone’s confidence, and this is all anon., but I actually hope I am WRONG but we will see…
Very true Spawny, not one mention of her part in any of it, not even the smallest bit… Hummm..
So true Ame, I wish there was a “dislike” button bc that’s so sad and you are likely right. 😦
Oh, upon consideration … guess I want to say one other thing. About how your friend was forced to take out a restraining order because he was violent. I call bullshit on that … claims of abuse and filing restraining orders by women is HOW THEY GAIN POWER DURING DIVORCE. Once a man has a restraining order on him … you’ve cut his nuts off and he knows the minute he opens his mouth on ANYTHING … he’ll get beaten by the cops, arrested, thrown in jail, found guilty, end up prison. His career will be ruined, his name splashed all across the media. He’ll be on the sex offender list … FOREVER. An internet search 20 yrs from now will show him to be a wife-beater. MEN KNOW THIS. ITS AN ABUSE OF POWER. SHE NOW HAS A LOADED GUY POINTED AT HIS TEMPLE. ITS A POWER GRAB, PLAIN AND SIMPLE.
And why will the man end up in Jail … even if he’s done nothing wrong ? Because cops would rather put 10 innocent men in Jail than look the other way … and then have something bad actually happen. Our local police actually have a policy … if there is a domestic disturbance … 1 of the 2 is going to jail. Because, yeah, several years ago … the cops got called, didn’t take anyone to jail, and later that night the got beat the shit out his wife and killed her. So NOW … somebody goes to jail and 99% its the MAN. Essentially … if the cops get called … the man goes to jail.
Anyhow … now that I know how it works, I have a simple policy. I refuse to deal with ANY WOMAN who’s EVER accused a man of abuse or filed a restraining order on a man. If she did it to him (ruined his life) … then she’d do it to me (ruin mine). All its going to take is the right circumstance. I think many men think the same way. I categorically refuse to date or even associate with any woman who’d do that to a man. Why would I want to take that chance ?
So for the women out there that are getting to know a man … ever wonder why you get dropped like a hot potato and he never calls you again ? Maybe you let slip that you destroyed another man’s life. You don’t like at it that way … but maybe HE DOES.
Ladies … think carefully. Is that guy calling you REALLY a stalker who is going to hurt you or is he really just a lonely desperate guy ? IS IT WORTH DESTROYING HIS LIFE OVER A FEW PHONE CALL YOU DIDN”T WANT ?
Ditto with power grabs in Divorce. Or false accusations of abuse. Ladies, you ought to think very carefully about doing that. Because you may win in the short term … but who’d want to date a woman so vindictive that they’re destroy a man’s life … I wouldn’t and I won’t. I think many other men think the same. If you’d do that to another guy … then you’t do it to me too. And I won’t take that chance. There are plenty of other fish in the sea …
mega – i think your point is extremely valid and unfortunately all-too relevant. women don’t think or even care about the repercussions of making such choices.
there were times i could have taught my girls to call 911 on their dad, but i chose not to. it would have turned out bad for everyone involved. he did a lot of things, but he never beat them senseless or sexually abused them or starved them.
the last really stupid, and really really bad thing he did was in public, and had there been a police officer in the store at the time of the event, i have no doubt he would have been taken into custody and child protective services called. it would not have solved anything to get the gov’t involved and just made it that much worse for our kids.
if either parent is truly beating a child, starving a child, using them in rituals, sexually abusing them … if either parent is truly abandoning a child, steps need to be taken. i know of one mother who was so drugged all the time she frequently left her preschool children alone at home for hours. that’s a good reason to call the authorities. but those are the rare exceptions.
abusing the law to manipulate others is just wrong.
RPG,
You have developed good instincts. I don’t think you are wrong. The sad part is that this will be another story of a wife getting away with treachery. ll these stories do have an accumulative effect on men.
The longer I look at stuff like this, the more I believe there are things men could do but don’t because they don’t have the knowledge or understanding. Even when they do have the knowledge, it comes down the Toast of Lord Montrose:
He fears his fate too much,
Or his deserts are small,
Who dares not put it too the touch,
To win or lose it all.
First and foremost, men must accept women as they truly are and deal with them accordingly. Among the most powerful forces at work in a woman’s life are the fear of being shamed, rejected or outgrouped, along with competition between women.
For those who understand game and logistics, I just gave you the reasons why it’s easier for a man with tight game to pick up two women and have a threesome than it is to pick up just one and take her home for sex. And, for the same reasons, why a polygynous marriage is a better way to go than a monogamous marriage.
Oh- and nobody ever called “rape” after a threesome.
A poly marriage defeats all the legal issues involved with modern-day divorce if it’s done right. A polgynous marriage rewards staying in the relationship and penalizes leaving, removing the rewards at the least. The structure of a poly marriage reinforces good behavior on the part of both husbands and wives and penalizes bad behavior. Due to his leadership/management role, selection bias and female competition, the husband is much more attractive than in a monogamous relationship.
Women are creatures of the herd and their emotional needs are best met by other women, not men. A poly marriage gives them their own herd and accountability from the other women who are part of the marriage. Part of that accountability is that loyalty to family/husband becomes one of the points of competition between the women.
Looking through the lens of a poly marriage and female hypergamy, this passage might say something you’ve never seen before:
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12
@ mega I mean the truth will come out as far as me following this, I mean. Her admitting it, unlikely. But I was not born yesterday…
Without taking a night to sleep on it, there is no way for men, individually or collectively, to slow these treacherous women down. The only thing for men to hope for is that women will condemn this because it will cause men to withdraw.
Agreed Mega. As she talked and talked it came out indirectly that she did that to gain physical control of the home and property. Lame.
He must be savvy somewhat bc before the ordewr could be swrved he and his family showed up and grabbed his most impt and valuable stuff. Nonviolently. But they knew the drill…
It’s messed up, it really is. I hate to think this of her but at the same time if the shoe fits…. I hope she proves me wrong.
My ex started saying all sorts of things about me to her friends and relative. The ones that knew me did not believe a word that she said. This even included her crazy sister. For they all knew me; a fella with a temperament totally out of character with what she was saying.
If you are going to make lies, make them believable.
Also, don’t protest too much.
http://www.returnofkings.com/112318/will-you-pay-the-bill-for-the-coming-spinster-bubble
Child support lasts til 50 at the latest. Seperation of assets maybe another ten years.
Hope you can fund you’re own 401k or rrsp from that fabulous job.
http://health.usnews.com/health-news/health-wellness/articles/2015/10/26/no-spouse-no-kids-no-caregiver-how-to-prepare-to-age-alone
The mainstream article referenced
My wife looked into the abyss.
“Free” at 50 or makes some small changes like being grateful and pleasant and have another 10,000 days with a man who will honour and protect her.
She chose wisely.
So if things continue as they should she will live with me in a paid off farm and share my 3000 a month pension (before OAS). And someone to take her to all those dr appointments, the hair salon, the golf course.
Of course she could have saved alot over another 15 years in part time retail sales.
But women at 30 plan for these things? Right?
I mean no one is that short sighted? Right?
Um right?
Horseman,
We can see the circumstances piling up like driftwood on a beach after a storm but, it hasn’t hit yet. I have to wonder, what are they thinking?
@Farm Boy, she did say a lot of their friends were taking his side….
@ horseman This gal is 35 at the oldest…
Yes but decisions at 35 have consequences. She really going to get a second hubby? 35 is post wall or damn close. Maybe yes maybe no. And she is now a known retread…with a kid in tow.
But if no get used to working for the next 30. Three zero years. 54,000 hours of work. At her faaaabulous job to build a pension\ support herself to retirement.
Ok. Kid is 6 so at best 14 years of child support. Still leaves 16 years to retirement.
28,000 hours of work.
#1 deterent should be divorce at 35, child support gone/alone empty nest in the 50s.
Young enough to still want to LIVE
, too old to attract companionship,
Too broke to travel or live a life of leisure.
Guys work for freedom 55. Women hope for it. Who is more likely to be on the beach in the investment ad?
I think there would be less of this if the women knew they were gambling against long odds to end up better and are more likely to end up worse off. Even the Eat, Pray, Love author ended up marrying an immigrant and she has recently divorced him.
Youtuber TFM caught something that stood out. In long term live in relationships, women break up about half the time. However, divorce is initiated about seventy to eighty percent of the time by women. On the strength of this alone, he concluded that women are strong incentivized to divorce. Individually or collectively, I have no idea how to combat this directly.
“I have no idea how to combat this directly.”
Repeal every alimony law.
There is a new post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2017/01/14/when-privilege-collides-with-reality/
Fuzzie … “I have no idea how to combat this directly.”
I’m always the controversial one around here … so I will say … that I do. I know what will solve the problem. Its called ACCOUNTABILITY. For women and those that enable them. It goes like this:
Lets say that a woman accuses a man of rape. HE IS NOT ALLOWED TO PLEAD GUILTY … STEP #1 … he WILL go to trial and SHE and her ENABLERS will be forced to provide evidence in order to convict. No alternative: you accuse a man of rape YOU ARE FORCED TO PROVE IT and if you don’t then YOU AND THOSE THAT ENABLED YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES. ACCOUNTABILITY.
If there is not enough evidence to be found guilty then he is not just set free. Oh, he is set free of course. AND THEN SHE IS SENT TO PRISON FOR THE SAME AMOUNT OF TIME HE WOULD HAVE BEEN, IF HE HAD BEEN FOUND GUILTY. Yep, accuse a man of RAPE and it didn’t happen … then the lying cunt goes to prison for 25 yrs and then gets put on the Sex Offender list for the next 80 yrs beyond that. Yep … this is also called EQUALITY … TREATING WOMEN LIKE HOW MEN ARE TREATED. And then the DA who prosecuted the case is also sent to prison. He should have dropped the case when he knew the cunt was lying … and he didn’t SO HE PAYS THE PRICE TOO. Assuming its a he. Yep, fired, jailed, and disbarred. DA GOES TO JAIL. And the cops who arrested him are fired from their jobs too. If its likely that the cops lied to set the man up to go to prison … if so, THE COPS ARE HELD ACCOUNTABLE TOO. And the JUDGE ? Since the JUDGE makes the rules … kinda hard to hold a JUDGE accountable … if that’s possible … same deal. ALL THE SCUM WHO ENABLED THE LYING CUNT TO FRAME AN INNOCENT MAN … SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES.
So, how about the PRESS who claimed the guy was a career criminal, pedophile, beat his dog and dragged his name and his pics and his FAMILY thru the mud … pics in the paper, on the news, on the internet … all of the hate mongering cunts rejoicing all the while !!! Yeah, how about these lying fucks get fired and sent to prison too. LIARS IN THE PRESS GET SENT TO JAIL. No more freedom of the press. Press lies about an innocent man and ruins his life … THEY GO TO PRISON. ACCOUNTABILITY.
Basically all the ENABLERS OF HATE … get to suffer when it turns out they were WRONG. Ever hear the phrase “INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY”. Those who jump the gun … get to suffer the consequences when it turns out they were wrong. Its got a name and in case you haven’t guessed … its called ACCOUNTABILITY. And our society is sorely lacking in it right now.
Mega,
Harsh, but food for thought. Seems to me all the high profile rape cases have been bunk recently. Making judges, prosecutors, and police responsible would be a step in the right direction. A lot of the accusers are candidates for defense by insanity.
@ Mega while I do agree people filing false claims should indeed be given just as harsh of penalties as the person accused would have faced if guilty. However I can’t get behind this one, “No more freedom of the press.” Not bc I don’t think they lie and misinform, but bc curtailing rights for any curtails the rights of all. I like my right write what I want. The only form of censorship I endorse is the right to look away.
I have a feeling the whole rape culture thing is about to implode. Meanwhile, I think people who actually are guilty of raping people, esp. kids, are about to pay the piper. The whole rape culture thing has been such a smoke screen, imho, a distraction from real victimization that’s NOT being investigated or prosecuted.
RPG,
It would be nice if you are right and “rape culture” goes out of fashion. Feminists are only using it as a bludgeon to beat all men with.
“False rape’ will die back some, mostly because guys will get wise.
But the high divorce rate will last as long as No-Fault Alimony feeds it.
$40 billion a year (USA) buys a lot of stupid.
Saracen, agreed. I am not sure how we could go about that. Ideas?
Inside America’s Billion Dollar Divorce Industry
Overturn nFA legislation in one state, and the rest will fall like nine-pins.
Pick a state with low population and high individualism (Montana comes to mind) and start the slow grind of convincing legislators one-on-one that nFA is screwing everyone.
The ethical, monetary, moral and child-welfare arguments are easy. It is the emotional paradigm backed by huge vested interest that need to be overcome.
In the meantime guys:
Have the snip, don’t marry, and don’t date single moms.
@ Saracen, I hope someone does take that crusade on bc it would be best for all involved. Divorce has sadly become the go-to solution to marriage issues, not the last resort.
I can remember when I was a child (a long, long time ago lol) it was still considered “bad” to get divorced. Today it is considered “expected.” It has its place, but not in 1 out of 2 marriages. Maybe more like 1 in 100 or even 1 in 1000 cases.
mega:
Well, your post is abysmal. Your view of Justice completely screwed. It is not on the accuser themselves to provide evidence. It is on Law enforcement/Investigation to too so.
I was assaulted by the foreign invaders, no one (several witnesses, from old german woman to elderly russian men and a young mother with child) would have spoken in my support, I even had problems making it clear to the police what kind of person I saw. My Friend was raped, I was not strong enough to pull the man from her. So excuse me while I puke after reading what you wrote.
Ruhr,
I have to wonder where all the native born men were in Cologne New Year’s Eve 2015. My personal theory is that they all stayed home. Feminism has done that good a job alienating men from women in the First World. Also, I have to wonder why feminists haven’t said anything about Rotherham and very little about assaults by immigrants. My assertion is that, in Europe, women have lost their men. I think the US is not too far behind. To support feminism, women have squandered the most valuable asset they have-alliance with men.
As I said … always the contrarian. So to ruhr whatever the fuck the lies you made up are … GO FUCK YOURSELF. Yes I am calling you out. I said no such thing … its all lies you made up. I said the accuser as well as the LIARS and CRIMINALS … the CORRUPT POLICE, LAWYERS, PROSECUTORS, JUDGES AND CO-CONSPIRATORS IN THE MEDIA … ALL BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE. The only one who isn’t is the accused. INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY … NO MATTER HOW MANY CORRUPT LYING ASSHOLES ASSERT OTHERWISE. Including yourself.
I do apologize if I did miss one important aspect of the man-hate. YOUR OWN POLITICAL LEADERS. They are not mine because I didn’t vote for them OR approve of them. Assuming you are in Germany (which I have visited and enjoyed immensely) I would prefer to direct you to lying cunt in charge of your country. Ms Merkel … who has invited in the invaders by the millions … to destroy your country AND who has emasculated men … to make sure NO MAN can protect their women. Yep … invite in rapists and make sure so no man feels safe defending their own women.
That’s about it. YOU and other WOMEN are entirely responsible for your situation, not men. Don’t like where women have ended up … with pathetic, emasculated men, and foreign born, imported rapists ? Well you’d be better off looking in the mirror and seeing that the enemy is WOMEN … not men and certainly … not me.
A new post at Spawny’s there would be
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2017/01/16/great-expectations/
Holy crap, seems I shut down all discussion here. Do I raise good points or what ? LOL, maybe I should just move on. Haters gonna hate. Women gonna blame men for everything that is wrong. That would be “most women” who blame ALL MEN for EVERYTHING. And unfortunately those are the women who are represented on public media. Women like RPG who make a stand …are a rarity
As for me, just trying to make it thru the 20th. Hoping Trump makes it before someone assassinates him. Yes, it really is that bad.
Mega,
I don’t think that you killed the thread, but we shouldn’t get personal here. The point you brought up about how the political establishment is not accepting Trump may be a bigger reason for people not talking. We’re all worried.
Mega. You were off-topic, wrong, shouting and rude.
Play nice or get ignored.
Do we have an understanding?
Because you are an irrational buffoon and unworthy of the effort
Please do not insinuate that what I told is a lie. Please read your own original statement carefully.
I do not hate men, but your hatred of women shines through well in your last post.
I am active as a patriot in Dresden (if you get my meaning) and I did not vote for the System parties. I also refuse to be held accountable for other women.
Which identity group trumps which identity group the question might be
Why does Trump use twitter so much? I mean there are other social media platform with a higher Word limit, right?
Twitter the firstest it was
i see most of what you are saying. but never underestimate the vindictiveness of a furious woman. i know of one guy who went well out of his way for this chick and her 2 boys by 2 different men. this dude let her mover her and the boys in. even joined 2 different school raising band boosters to help her kids. they had some stupid argument that got physical, and she had him locked up on his birthday. can you imagine? she even filed a protection order against him. he was out of his own home for months. she refused to testify so she could live in the house for a few more months. but the damage was done. he got fired and took a conviction.