Something I have believed and practiced all my life is this: I don’t seek or even want handouts, freebies, or help because I am a girl. Instead, I have always aimed to achieve based upon my own merit. Doing so has made me strong, not weak.
If you want better, be better — be among the best at what you want to be or do. Don’t use “XYZ” as an excuse why you can’t, and don’t let anyone else tell you that either.
All you need to do is just work harder than others are willing to. In college, I saw this quickly. Most people were barely trying. By putting in more effort (and not even 100% effort, to be honest, plus working 20 hours a week) I was honor roll, Dean’s list, and near the top of my class the whole time.
As a result of my working harder, my instructors sought me out to pour more effort into me than other students who weren’t trying, because they saw it would be worth their time. (Teachers LOVE students who are really trying, trust me!)
Later, managers, mentors, and others have done the same. These people were among the best at what they did too, and I have found they were usually thrilled to be able to pass their “lifetime brain dump” on to someone who they felt would do something with it. What an honor to be chosen! And chosen because they saw my potential, not because I demanded they help.
On the job, I took the same strategy. And it worked. I was promoted and managed people who had gone to Ivy League schools (Yes, me, who attended a small state no-name commuter college!), and who had more advanced degrees than I did. I never pointed this out, but it perplexed me why they weren’t trying harder? Why they weren’t working to be MY manager?
In reality, only about 20% of people are really trying, so you are only competing for what you want or dream of against those 20%, not 100%. And it’s pretty easy to be in the 20% simply because too many others aren’t willing to work to get there, persevere hardships and overcome challenges, and never give up or give in until they do.
I also accept my personal limitations. I have channeled my energy into things I am good at, where I can achieve most. For example, I am weak in math. So it would be silly for me to set my sights on being an engineer. I am not among the best at math. So what? One can’t be everything. I would only be a failure bc of it if I for some reason insisted to pursue a goal that required me to be better than those among the best at math. Right?
Plus, I am much happier doing things I am naturally good at. I would not like being an engineer. (No offense to engineers, I hope you LOVE it and are among the best in what you do, too!)
When one learns all this, and practices it, they find pretty quickly that it actually isn’t all that hard. And it is totally up to you.
Nobody “gives” you equality, you earn and create your own equality.
And when you earn it yourself, nobody can take it away either.
What do you think? Please share in the comments.
i think you (pretty much everyone) are missing the point. that’s not really equality either. the only true equality is when everyone fails at the same rate and to the same level.
what you’ve done is succeeded to some level of your potential. maybe a bit more or less, and without some sort of unearned advantage.
but its not equality.
Perhaps equality is not the right word. However, I think the advice given will get people who want more closer to their goal than any govt. program ever will. The ability to achieve to your personal highest potential — that’s about as close to equality as it will ever get. We ALL have pluses and minuses, advantages and disadvantages. Others are better at math than me, just naturally. Then some of them worked hard to become the best they could at it. I could focus on this not being, “fair” or I could accept it is reality and go on at being equally good at my own thing. The first path? Frustration. The second? As equal as it gets.
Shes a witch!! Burn her!! Heresay!!!
Seriously, soon the tide will turn.
Society is running out of doers. Infrastructure is failing, easy taxes sources are dying.
We are going to need doers…
there is not an app elder care, snow plowing, building sea walls to save Miami.
And those of merit will say either
Pay me cause I’m worth it
Or
Piss off, you ignored me before so why should I help?
Another example, education and the “No Child Left Behind” thing. Sounds good, yes? However the reality just IS that people are born with the brainpower/abilities they get. The field isn’t equal from the start and there is NO WAY to make it so. Rather than aim to make everyone pass some standardized test, how about just accepting not every kid will be a scholar. Most will pass, but some will be at the top end and some will be at the bottom end. Always. It’s just life. Redirecting HUGE resources to try to make a child who won’t ever even write somehow pass the test, for example, when that child could be taught a useful skill they could master instead, like to work in a greenhouse setting where they be in charge of a few set tasks that need done daily, for example, would be better for them and for the other kids who could be scholars but are dying on the vine b/c they are not being challenged enough b/c they can meet the minimum to pass the test so nothing more is invested in them.
Under the current model, both kids lose. Under the above, both kids could be taught to be the best they can be at what they are best at and capable of. Both kids win. Society also wins.
And I am not exaggerating bc I wrote on this issue as a reporter. I saw kids being taught all day to hold a pencil, write their name, when they were never going to be capable of that. Yes it is sad, but even more sad that they could instead be learning useful life skills, or even simply spending the day learning via play and having fun. Meanwhile other kids who just needed some help, who could have used one on one services like that, were too “capable” to qualify. Like most do-good programs, it all sounds good but in reality it helps nobody and makes things worse.
Lol Horseman. 🙂 I am not a witch, promise!
Meritocracy is not about being equal. It’s earned privilege full stop, end of. Hierarchy, not equality.
Without meaning to sound like I’m reducing this nice post, I love this as this is called common sense, so rare, it’s a ***damn Superpower. I’m glad you shared it. Common sense doesn’t sell—outrage does. But we are drowning in outrage and some common sense is much needed.
Have I said common sense enough yet? 🙂
We’ve got a modern culture based on envy, and it’s pretty obvious why we’re encouraged to not engage in envy when one looks at the state of Western Civilization. We only want what we want until it’s ours, then we’re back to envy and complaining.
Your method, as you noted, ensures that what you’ve earned is yours. No reason for you to look around and be envious of the things that you didn’t earn–if you wanted to earn those thing and they fell within your strengths, YOU know that you could. And having seen all that you’ve seen, the anecdotal evidence you’ve got speaks for itself and thus the myriad small battles that the envious fight moment to moment are not your burden. It’s a kind of freedom that Modernity has forgotten.
As old as time, but we’ve forgotten it: the peace of mind we seek is up to us, no one else.
Again, appreciate this common sense post.
People want a common sense world not
Want an idealized fantasy world they do
Mix poorly they would
Yoda ain’t wrong.
Yoda wise he is.
Weird sentence structure he employs.
Horseman,
It is a bit of a tangent, but, at some time, we will have to stop consuming more than we produce. It has been a long running Ponzi scheme and they can’t go on indefinitely.
A new post at Spawny’s there is
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2017/01/18/shes-a-lady/
RPG … this post just clearly illustrates why you are posting as Red Pill Girl. Because you make sense. What you need to realize is that 95% of other women … in Westernized society don’t believe what you do and don’t make sense. Not in the slightest. THEY GOT A VAGINA … SO THEY GET TO MAKE THE RULES. And THEIR RULES … means they show up and tell men what to do. Earn something ? Put in the work ? Why ? Society, politics, and the LEGAL SYSTEM means they go to the head of the class … FOR DOING NOTHING. Why would they compete ? Why would they work ? Why would they “earn” anything when their VAGINA gets them everything on a silver platter ?
Hate to be the contrarian … cause I respect you and your values and opinions but you need to realize that your attitudes do not apply to society at large. In the US there are 2.2 million people in jail, prison, or on parole … according to wikipedia. The US has 5% of the worlds population and 20% of its prisoners. Of that 2.2 million, 2.1 million are men. DO THE MATH.
Was gonna post a link but just saw that wikipedia updated their page. Instead of raw numbers they are just reporting that 92% of all people in jail are men. But the numbers didn’t change. Probably just trying to lie and deceive about what’s going on … like all libtards.
Here is a thought. Lets say we want to EQUALIZE incarceration rates. By law. So we’ll go around arresting women. Not old women and nobody under the age of 18. Lets say between 20 and 50. And arrest … lets say 2.1 million women. Arrest them and sent them to prison for the same as men are … you know … jaywalking … 5 felonies for trying to run from the police (felony), NOT running from the police (felony), having your face beaten in by 18 lying pathetic faggots who call themselves the police. So yeah … arrest over 2 million women and sentence them to 12 yrs in prison each. Women of your choosing. Black, white, asian, hispanic, native. Doesn’t matter. Just TREAT THEM WITH EQUALITY … TREAT THEM LIKE MEN.
You know how EQUALITY works, right ? Treat women like men are treated. ROUND THEM UP. SENT THEM TO DECADES IN PRISON FOR DOING NOTHING. Works for men.
Not a chance in hell is there ?
In the last forty years, incarceration has increased with rates upwards of 500% despite crime rates decreasing nationally.[14] Between the years 2001 and 2012, crime rates (both property and violent crimes) have consistently declined at a rate of 22% after already falling an additional 30% in years prior between 1991 and 2001.[15] As of 2012, there are 710 people per every 100,000 U.S. residents in the United States that are imprisoned in either local jails, state prisons, federal prisons, and privately operated facilities.[15] This correlates to incarcerating a number close to almost a quarter of the prison population in the entire world.
direct quote from the following article:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_incarceration_rate
So women, you want equality ? Know what I’ve noticed ? When you look at the local major newspaper … they report those ARRESTED … PICS AND ALL. And know what my informal survey indicates. Women get arrested, arrested, arrested, arrested, and get arrested again. BEFORE THEY DO A SINGLE DAY IN JAIL. Yep, probation, probation, probation, probation and more probation. A man gets arrested for JAYWALKING AND GETS 12 YRS IN PRISON. Women get NOTHING. Official stats back that up.
Women get arrested 12 fucking times and never do a day in jail. Men look at someone crosseyed and get their lives destroyed.
Women … you really want equality … TRY BEING A MAN …
I won by hard exams my job in the council of the little village I live. Merit.
I do not use public or private education anymore because I am 46 and child free.
I do not use public housing cuz I have my own, with my own little private garden.
I do not have private healthcare insurance, because we have got a very good public healthcare here.
I have no private pension insurance cuz we have got public pensions.
I have no car and I use the public train to go to go to big town.
I do not have my own private woman because I use the public women who work in the big town, or I use the private woman of another´s man (well, I used to, not anymore).
A good cohabitation of the pubic and the private is what we have in Europe and they have in Canada.
Mega,
Two things are happening that will address the issue. First, minimum sentencing requirements are having a profound impact, making women the fastest growing segment of the prison population. Second, videos of women behaving badly are being posted to youtube all the time. No potential juror is going to be able to avoid seeing those. Third, I think women are stepping over the line a lot more than they used to. The public is going to long past “sugar and spice and everything nice. Finally, in the UK, it is possible to appeal over lenient sentences and it is being exercised. We are a long way from parity but, going forward, I think that it will not be as outrageous as we have seen.
@ Mega, True, I am in the minority, but the thing is I myself bought ALL THIS CRAP w/o question just a few years ago! It wasn’t until I stumbled across rulesrevisited.com (a guy advising women on dating/relationships) and then from there found the rest, that I learned any of this. It was an EYE OPENER! So that is why I write this blog, as far as I could see then, there was no blog aimed at women, explaining in a way women would understand, by a woman, all of this. So I started one! And the stats on the back end show while mostly regulars comment, there are many, many more people reading who never post (Hi guys! Don’t be shy! Dive in!) I hope that gal, just like myself just a few years ago, will in search of answers, find this blog, and things will come together for her too, and then she will tell others, and so on. Multiplied by hundreds… all over the world! 🙂 I am trying! I believe there is already an awakening underway all over in our society. The current system is so broken, its becoming harder and harder not to see it’s NOT WORKING.
If I got it, being brainwashed in feminism pretty much from birth (but never a man hater, just thinking feminism = progress, all good no bad), I believe others can and will too. When they are ready. 😀
This kinds sums my strategy up (an idea right from the top!):
From Matthew 13
“Listen! A farmer went out to plant some seeds. 4 As he scattered them across his field, some seeds fell on a footpath, and the birds came and ate them. 5 Other seeds fell on shallow soil with underlying rock. The seeds sprouted quickly because the soil was shallow. 6 But the plants soon wilted under the hot sun, and since they didn’t have deep roots, they died. 7 Other seeds fell among thorns that grew up and choked out the tender plants. 8 Still other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they produced a crop that was thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted! 9 Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.”
I am just throwing it out there, hoping it will grow!
And I get the anger, Mega. I have moved thru that now, but for that first year +, these guys could tell you, I had many moments where I didn’t WANT to see, admit, accept, or believe b/c I almost couldn’t process it emotionally at times, the anger etc. But once seen, it cannot be unseen. So I processed the anger eventually and moved on to this… trying to spread the seeds…
I used to end every post with, “Let those who have ears hear.” Bc of this passage. I kinda stopped doing it, but maybe I need to start again.
@ Iberian, I am glad you gave this part up: “or I use the private woman of another´s man (well, I used to, not anymore).”
IMHO, it’s just bad juju to mess with another man (or woman’s) mate. I have always felt this. Then…
I became a single mom b/c a gal did that to me, thought my biz and place were his, busted up our relationship, then left him as soon as she realized it was all mine, not his (from before we met.) She just moved on. Meanwhile she (and he) destroyed my family 😦 He never admitted it, but I was not blind. I tried to work it thru but he was too embarrassed, I think, or something…he refused, felt it was easier to just bail. He regrets that now, at times, but it’s inconstant and usually only when he heard I was dating. These past years have been the hardest (emotionally, financially, physically, spiritually, in EVERY way), by far, in my life. And watching the impact on my kids? Even worse. Devastating. But I am doing my best to grow and create lemonade out of the lemons. I believe everything happens for a reason…
Not saying you did it this way or maliciously, but it’s just bad to mess w someone else’s person, glad you don’t do that anymore. They are the one breaking their commitment, true, but someone willing to let them provides the temptation/opportunity.
Many people cheat trying to keep a relationship together, too. But every time I have seen that go bad, too.
It’s just bad juju for all involved, IMHO, that’s the easiest way to put it! 🙂
@ Dear RPGal
Never considered an open relationship? They work pretty well. We human beings are wired to be in a steady couple but we are wired too to be promiscuous. Therefore, the open couple institution is which fits better in human nature.
@ RPGal. You said: He regrets (…) usually only when he heard I was dating.
Yes, when you are with someone else he gets again extremely interested in you. That is why an open couple works so well.
Iberian,
I don’t think an open relationship would work for RPG. She has daughters and I bet they would like stability
@Fuzzie
You are right.
It is good to be in agreement.
@Iberian, the gal in question (a friend of a friend who would volunteer at my biz) was a pathological liar, who was herself married at the time, and had been causing all sorts of custody drama prior to that over her hubby’s ex (mom of his child), so an open relationship w her? Not a chance. I was So glad when she buggered off, bc I am sure she would have done nothing but mess w me and my kids as she had her ex’s ex. In the right situation and with the right people I could see an open relationship working, but otherwise they seem fraught w all sorts of potential drama as people get attached and I have seen that w others in that arrangement irl. I have never tried it and honestly I am seeking a life partner. But to each their own!
@ Iberian, perhaps had I had some male advice at the time, I could have navigated a reunion w him but he was so mean and hurtful and I did not understand why or how to navigate that. Believe it or not, men can be just as perplexing to women as women are to men! Now, I don’t see it working w him, based on what I have seen since. This was pre-red pill, too. On the brighter side, it was part of what led me to the red pill and learning all this!
Plus, I am seeing someone exclusively and have been for a while now, but I have been asked to not talk about us here, which I totally respect. He’s great! 😀
RPG,
I don’t know how you keep a lid on it. If I were in your shoes, I would be shouting from the rooftop.
@RPGal
I see you are in a relationship, but if you ever come to Spain, send me an email.
Look, we both are in our mid 40s, we both are repent leftists and feminists supporting today the most Right wing wacco redneck and macho pig causes ever LOL. I live in La Navata, a charming village 45 minutes from Madrid.
I meant “wacko”.
Easy Fuzzie, I gave my word not to 🙂
Iberian, you sure have a way w the ladies, lol! I hear Spain is amazing, actually. Participating in the grape fight in Riojia is on my bucket list, why don’t Americans do more fun stuff like that??? Lol.
I guess that I am guilty of having a big mouth.
Bears are like that. 🙂
World doesn’t really run on merit either.
Folks want to work with, promot etc people they like and get along well with
Being competent is good, being soically competent is good; being both is best
A man is either free or he is not
A government provides for as long as it wants, not a moment longer
Iberian’s slave mentality is on full display
@SFC
The most advances countries on Earth with the lower crime rates have “slave” mentality: UK, France, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Iceland, Denmark, Germany, Austria. Nederlands, Belgium, Switzerland, Australia, Canada… in a more modest way… Italy, Spain, Portugal.
Try to remove the national Healtcare System in the UK and you will face a revolution.
As long as I know capitalism was born in Britain. I think British people are not anti capitalist at all.
You, Americans do not understand social democracy. But I do not blame you for that at all. It is just a cultural thing. What always shocked me is how you have Canada at the other side of the border and you do not get influence by them just a little bit.
One of the reasons I am happy about Trump´s victory is because he is against the TIPP which is extremely dangerous for us, Europeans. TIPP means importing a way of life (the American) which is totally alien to us.
@ RPGal
Yes, that party is so fab.
Come over, dear!
Lol Fuzzie, truth be told he had to remind me at least three times. #AWALT
Lol Iberian, I am serious, in Europe there are all these cool traditions, grape fights, cooking a huge omelet in the town square and everyone eating it with Champagne, the running of the bulls… In the US, the govt. wants everyone wrapped in bubble wrap, eating only govt.approved food prepared in health dept approved commercial kitchens, and all are so afraid of lawsuits we’d never be able to pull any fun stuff like that!
We have diversity in the usa
Once you remove that our crime rate basically vanishes
You’ll find out about that soon enough
@ SFC
The fact that the crime rate is something related to non whites it is so TRUE., Non whites have a commitment with crime. Or so it seems.
They are learning that the hard way in once ZERO crime Scandinavia.
That is why we have to kick Islam out of Europe.
That is why socialdemocrats like me we are turning “ocaccional fascists”. Fascism is the cure. Once the problem is sorted we can go back to our proggie standards, but . being a proggie this days is comiting suicide. Proggie things are Ok for times of peace. In times of war… go fascist!!!!! I learned that from Benito Mussolinii, who was a proggie until the times of IWW.
@ RPGal
My favourites are the Running of the Bulls and Easter parades.
Iberian…”You, Americans do not understand social democracy. But I do not blame you for that at all. It is just a cultural thing. What always shocked me is how you have Canada at the other side of the border and you do not get influence by them just a little bit.”
An interesting piece comparing two nearby towns, one Canadian and one American, here:
http://www.unz.org/Pub/AmEnterprise-2004jul-00022
It really is true, despite Canada being RIGHT THERE, I rarely hear any monition of Canadian news, politics, culture, etc. in American MSM. It’s as if Canada does not exist! Weird… I have always wondered about this, too.
@ David and RPGal
So interesting.
I find so charming the cowboy American culture, but I find more familiar Canadian culture. It is not a question of which one is best. Every place on Earth has its own way of life and we have to respect it. That is one of the things I like most about the Alt Righ . Globalism sucks. Does not matter if it is Right wing globalism or Left wing globalism.
Also, other side of no child left behind: gifted kids can’t make the most of their potential. Around here, we seperate by 3 intelligence levels at age 12.
I’ll be the first to admit it: boooo RPG, I just want special privileges! I think we should all agree to give men theirs and they will be much more inclined to give us ours 🙂 (otherwise great post again 😉 )