There’s a proverb that I think every woman should know and use as a guiding principle in life. It goes:
“A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.” ~ Proverbs 14.1
I have known many women who behave and believe in ways that foolishly tear down their homes, and sadly I have only known a few who work hard to build their homes up.
A few examples of tearing down one’s home include engaging in “husband bashing sessions” with other women, spending recklessly, threatening your spouse that you will leave or divorce them during arguments, allowing people in your life who bad talk your marriage, continually bringing up past grievances, calling names or fighting dirty rather than focusing on resolving issues, putting other things or people (friends, money, career, hobbies, etc.) in front of your family, having one foot in your marriage and one foot out the door, spending time around other men who you are attracted to or who are attracted to you, and more.
I am sure if you think about the women you know or have seen on TV or in movies, you could easily come up with many examples of women tearing down their homes with their own hands. There are few, if any, of women taking steps to build their homes up.
In fact, it seems women get far more support and encouragement today to LEAVE their marriages, than to work things out. But the wisdom and truth of this proverb has not changed.
As you go about your day, making decisions small and large, ask yourself, “Is this building my home up, or tearing it down?” Or, if you are unmarried, ask, “Is this building toward my plans for a future successful relationship, or not?”
A wise woman asks herself these questions, while a foolish one ignores them.
Let those who have ears hear.
Can you think of ways a woman could build up her house? Tear it down? Please share them in the comments!
Artisanal Toad said:
This is the way of the adulterous woman: She eats, wipes her mouth and says “I have done nothing wrong.”
To build up your house you need to learn how to find joy in each day. Finding joy makes you feel happy. A happy house is a strong house.
George Liquor American said:
Best example of tearing down I can give is my mom in her marriage to my dad and my sister in her marriage to my brother in law; both women feel they are the spiritual center of their respective nuclear families. Major life changing decisions are made because they prayed real hard and felt God was leading them to do such and such. Total bullshit, everyone knows it, but nobody can say anything about it, cuz God. Fucking hell!
So true Linny, happiness is a CHOICE, not something that randomly occurs. Maybe sometimes it is random, but often it is attitude and perception.
GLA I am sure there is a scripture on this very topic. Women are not the spiritual head of the home…. let me look for that…
Wise words as usual… I am continually impressed by the wisdom and the courage you show in sharing these things that most people know but are either too politically correct or afraid to say. I think a big way in which some women tear down their homes is by publicly humiliating their spouse almost as a show of power to other people in their lives. This is one of the worst things you can do to a man. Especially one who loves you and has given his heart to you. Sooner or later, if he’s got any brains, he will leave.
Excellent example chubaoyolu, and all too common! I am glad you are enjoying the blog 🙂
A good way to build up your house is to be a cheerleader for you man, and let him be a cheerleader for you. You will have disagreements and small fights, but those should remain behind closed doors. When you are out in public, both partners should only show love and affection for each other.
George Liquor said:
St. Paul did not think very highly of women in the church.
I know there is a verse, maybe Toad can help… Women are easily mislead (see the Garden of Eden) so going by their “feelz” what God is saying vs. The Word can be a problem. Another version of the female hamster!
This proverb could also be applied on a higher level, how a woman builds community or country (or not!)
Ways to build your home:
– take care of yourself, so you do not resent taking care of others or burn out (eat healthy, sleep, exercise). Most nagging comes from being overtired.
– take care of others (make the house comfortable so people can conveniently eat healthy, sleep or relax and exercise if there’s space, offer nurturing of some sort but don’t push it especially when people need their introverting time)
– be the voice of kindness and joy (example – when someone talks about their stresses, you can compliment how well they handle it, when something breaks you can laugh about it rather than groan, or laugh about your groaning if you must, share good stories, don’t bring anybody down)
– keep it in the family (confidences especially, but don’t bother explaining inside jokes to others, have your own rituals and family only time)
– if you want a succesful family, look at companies. It pays to have hierarchy, for people to have definite roles and to supervise only insofar the incompetence of people makes it necessary (otherwise trust and give creativity full reign). Also make sure people feel appreciated.
– don’t marry an idiot
Artisanal Toad said:
Eve was the most spectacular woman who ever lived and none who have come since are greater than Eve. She was created by God and was not born with a sin nature. She lived in paradise and no sin was in the world. She had no job, no children to chase, no internet, cell phone or social media. She had no responsibilities other than to help her husband and only ONE RULE she had to follow.
The mother of all women, the greatest woman who ever lived, in paradise with no distractions or interference, and she COULD NOT FOLLOW ONE RULE. She had one job, one rule to follow and she couldn’t do it.
So, God declared women incompetent and put a man in charge. God said “he shall rule over you” and in Numbers 30 it’s explained what kind of responsibility the husband/father has over the woman. It’s worth reading. Genesis 3:16 and Numbers 30 is the context for all the New Testament passages that instruct the wives to submit to their husbands. Why? Because God does not change. He said so.
More interesting is the other part of Genesis 3:16, “your desire shall be for your husband” because what it means is the woman’s desire shall be for the man who is fit to rule over her (Alpha). The word desire is only used two other times, once as a desire to overcome and the other time as a sexual desire. This is where hypergamy came from. She has some attraction and the desire to overcome kicks in (fitness tests). If she can overcome him then he isn’t fit to rule and her attraction shrivels up and dies. If he blows through her tests that desire to overcome changes to sexual desire.
Women did not evolve this way, God made them this way.and he put men in charge.
Not to put too fine a point on it, in the NT where the wives are commanded to submit to their husbands, that does not mean obey. Submission is not the same as obedience. Submission is accepting the consequences for lack of obedience or refusal to obey.
Yes, men were commanded to love their wives as Christ loves His church, but what are the examples of how this happens? There are only two and they say the same thing. One is found in Revelation 3:19. Christ, speaking to His church said “Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline, be zealous therefore and repent.” Christ’s love is defined as holding the loved one accountable for their behavior, not warm fuzzies and hug-fests.
Thanks for adding that Toad!
Artisanal Toad said:
You’re welcome Bloom. Genesis 3:16 is not a popular subject for church people of any variety.
Toad, who are we to pick and choose? Only fools would do that!
Better for any man to build his own house. And then, later, to invite a woman in. But better that woman has her own house as well. If she has not her own house, she will destroy the man´s one.
Watching what is happening in the USA these days… is really amazing. In one hand the rising of a new world (a new world inspired in an old experience from the 30s) and in other hand the revival of the 60s riots.
My heart is divided: I like both. And I understand people in both movements. I like very much all the hippy thing, I grew up in the 70s in Ibiza.
But there is redneck inside who likes this white Christian male chauvinist pig movement. Well, I like Jesus Christ the hippie but I like too Jesus Christ the “white as snow raider with fire in his eyes and a two swords coming out of his mouth” (Revelation Book) Let´s say… proto fascist Jesus. That Jesus is fantastic: you can find him in the books of Chamberlain and Weininger, you can find him in the political theology of Spanish National-Catholicism (Franco´s regime)
“A smart mind is that one who can holds two opposite ideas and still being able to function”. Scott Fitzgerald.
But having to choose… I think, above all I love being deplorable for the prudes. Then, I have to ask myself… who are the biggest prudes today? the rednecks or the hippies? Well, the hippies by far! LOL.
Maybe in some years will be the right opposite. Again. History is a spiral. Hegel knows.
when the mrs and I worked it out and she came back to live in tbe house we announced to our friends that we would make it work. and for us. Both kids had already left for school so no “for the kids.” We were building our house up.
Over half our social circle left us. Dropped us as, and I quote “to much drama.”
In reality we showed the divorced ones what could have been and the unhappily marrieds the potential if they only worked at it.
Many who have ears and eyes choose not to hear or see. It might involve introspection or gasp work.
re mate bashing.
Words can can create thoughts and beliefs. The old saying no one believes it until they hear it seven times. It goes for ones own words too.
You say it and hear it so it must be true. How self motivation works and equally how false memories are made.
one upping the girls. oh yeah. my good for nothing man blah blahs.
Even if its a lie after seven times your heart starts to believe he blah blahs even if he never blahed in his life.
A main reason why divorce can be caught from a divorceed social group.
Your bashing of your good man literally makes you believe he is a bad man.
Great example horseman! May your happiness increase far beyond what it ever was!
Tearing the house down may be a symptom of a deeper problem. The woman who tears her man down verbally has lost respect for him and presumes that she is superior. As for the Bible, I can’t remember where, but it advises men to love their wives and for women to respect their husbands.
It sounds as if your mother and sister are full Churchian. They believe that women are spiritually superior. I have no idea how to fix that. If you have a spare room, tell your brother in law it is his when he needs it.
Artisanal Toad said:
I have a new post up y’all might find amusing in terms of building up your house. Pay particular attention to the list at the end.
Very interesting article. The paradox: the BDSM when the woman is the sub leads to Biblical marriage.
The perviest thing leads to the most conservative and respectable thing.
The truth about all this BDSM crap: women find their dominant sadistic alpha, the dominant sadistic alpha gets tamed and becomes a dominant patriarcal alpha, she gets pregnant and the alpha becomes a “daddy”. In the very moment this alpha becomes a daddy she starts loathing at him, and he becomes, in her eyes, a beta sucker.
At the same time, maternity makes a woman more femenine and desiderable (milf). So, the woman starts getting more and more attention from men around while she starts looking down at hubby. Then she starts cheating on hubby. She respects hubby in the way he is the father of her children, but actually, she loathes at him and finds him non-sexual and repulsive..
Women love cads and hate dads. No matter how alpha is the dad. Of course, no women on Earth, femininist or not, will ever reckon this.
Have you ever noticed that the most hardcore feminist, even abortionist women, they always end up getting pregnant and “embracing maternity”? They jump from career or from the CC to “motherhood is the real thing”, “it changed my life” and all that BS. Then, they have their “trophy” (the baby) and they can start behaving like harpies to baby daddy.
Avoid marriage and avoid paternity. Paternity is the most beta thing ever, no matre how alpha you think you are, while maternity is sexy (milf phenomena)
An overdose of red pill leads to antinatalism.
Iberian, interesting… Or is it the Alpha never was what she needs after a baby, a beta supporter, so she resents the Alpha for the same qualities that once attracted her? Just a theory.
While what you say may be true in the present circumstances, what makes it all possible is that women see men as standing in line for them. I don’t know how this happens because there are not enough men to allow for it, but it seems to be what they see.
Imagine if women saw that there were only as many men as there are women. If they took this to heart, I think they would find one and put a lock on him.
I am afraid the alpha becomes a beta due to paternity. It seems men drope in testosterone when become fathers. And increase in estrogen, even developing men´s boobs.
While women increase in estrogen after motherhood.
All that TV spots with the “dumb dad” and the “smart and badass mom” have a biological base.
Even Brad Pitt was saw as a beta sucker by Angelina. With that ton of children. Then she divorced.
I do not know in the USA but here any middle aged divorced women with children, with moderate attractiveness can get a ton of cads (any age) to have fun, and can get a ton of wannabe step dads fo a LTR. Via Tinder.
The ratio women/men here is 50/50, but it seems like is 10/90. I do not why.
It is the same here, as if there are several men for every woman. I am scratching my head on this one.
50 shades of Grey III
Grey and Anastasia have 3 kids. Grey is a great dad. Grey has become a beta sucker at the eyes of Anastasia. Anastasia cheats around and finds a new BDSM master. Anastasia divorces. Anastasia gets half of the shit of Grey. Grey got a bitter fat bald guy with men´s boobs while Anastasia is a hot sophisticated divorcee.. Grey ends up hiring dominatrix escorts . Anastasia re marries with richer guy.
When my husband became a new father, he was no way more beta. He in fact became much more agressive, to the point of literally scaring away 2 young men who very politely asked him for a minor favor when he was out with us for the first time. I’m pretty sure je would have hurt them if they hadn’t bolted. He just has a protective side to him in a way that does NOT turn me off. He has calmed a bit since those early days, thankfully (those guys did nothing wrong). But I believe it is generally accepted among women that men are sexier around kids (the contrast, the implied fertility).
I don’t think that any men will buy the book or see the movie.That is depressing!
Have no idea why I’m writing this because it has nothing to do with this post … other than its late, I’ve been drinking and I ran across something on another blog. Don’t know if anyone knows of a dude who goes by Obsidian from the old Just 4 Guys site. Anyway … he would try to turn everything into a race bait thing. And I’ve had lots of black friends over the years and they’ve mostly been cool. And, no, I don’t hang out with gang bangers. Disagreed with Obsidian on lots of stuff. And, yeah, Black guys can be honest, decent men like anyone else. So anyway … I’ve gotten a low opinion of black women over the years … from what I’ve observed and from what others (black men) have said. Nothing specific because I don’t have to deal with them very much on a day to day basis. But just like every time that I do … its been bad. Real bad. Black women just seem horrible to me and I try to avoid them, which thankfully I can do.
So anyway, my new GF hit me up with this last weekend. She ran track at a local university. Not big time but big enough. Many female athletes are black as are male athletes. So she had to deal with them in the locker room, teammates, pretty close. And my GF is white as I am. And … she’s pretty darn liberal … we’ve had our disagreements over Trump !!! Anyway … she goes off … on black women … and how horrible they are. Loud, obnoxious, opinionated, pushy, mean, aggressive !!! Every black woman she’s ever known has been that way and she just doesn’t like being around them !!!! I was very quiet and didn’t say much. And then said … how do you think black men feel ??? She got quiet for a moment and realized that black men had it BAD, REAL BAD !!! But like a women … quickly turned it around to about her and how she felt. Which was normal and ok, lol. But, damn … if other women, liberal feminist women, really feel that way about black ladies … something is seriously effed up in the black community. Maybe Obsidian was more right than I thought …
My wife is often frustrated that her housewife friend tend to whine pretty incessantly about her husband. Although its clearly an issue for both of them, as her husband is pretty immature(and younger than the wife), its not really helping them solve the problem when she just bitches to a friend.
With my wife, we’ve emphasized a lot on communication and while its certainly not “everything is perfect”, I always find it amusing that while my friends always seem to have complaints about their marriages, I’ve never had any issues. The “redpill” marriages definitely work empirically in my experience at a far higher percentage.
More than a few of us hung out at Just4Guys. Obsidian is more than a handful. I have not traded comments with him for a while. As for your opinion of black women, it is widely shared. It is hard to understand when there are only 85 men for every 100 women in the black community. I believe it to be a cultural thing, not racial. That got me in trouble with Obsidian when I expressed the opinion that the bad behavior of Tommy Sotomayors’s Beastie Girls will jump the racial divide. That is coming to pass.
“Tearing down one’s home with one’s own hands”…I am seeing this happen right now. A man who is a good work friend has a wife who puts him down constantly. I have seen some of this with my own eyes–she pretends that she is just being funny–but from what he tells me, it is much much worse when they are not in public. I can tell he is really hurting from this.
He is a good man (not a “nice guy”) with a lot of positive things about him. One of these days, some girl is going to try to take him away from this woman, and it would be hard to blame him if she succeeded. I might think about trying myself if they didn’t have a couple of kids.
What he really needs is a good friend with a spare room to take him in on on notice. There are too many stories of the wife making something up to get hubby tossed out of the house permanently with just a phone call.
@Laurel, I also know a gal, same situation. Her guy is good looking, good job, loyal. She’s a SAHM whose son is now in school so she basically spends her days redecorating their home and doing whatever she likes. He even comes home from work and cooks! She runs him down constantly, right in front of people, zero respect. Last time I called her out on it. Told her exactly as you say, that if she didn’t want him I am sure many women would and that maybe she should count her blessings rather than tear him apart? I think I shocked her, she’s VERY brash and outspoken, but after it sunk in she admitted I was right and thanked me for saying it. I hope she ponders it, there is NO NEED for her to constantly be complaining like she does. It just makes everyone miserable, including herself!
Also, this gal is not even remotely good looking either! And once she starts talking, even worse. I am amazed he can endure it!
@ Mega, I always liked Obsidian but yes sometimes he could get spun up. There was a troll at the end who really got under his skin, which was too bad. I have met really great African American women, and then also the type Obsidian would describe. So I wouldn’t say it is a blanket statement, but he was concerned how inner city culture was spreading to the culture at large (baby mommas, smack talking, aggressive women, violent women, etc.)
Thanks for adding that Danielcieh, I agree that red pill marriages re much more stable than the average. It works so much better when the man and woman are a team instead of fighting each other, for sure! I am always soooo glad to hear about a marriage going right! 😀 Keep it up!
I don’t think there would be so much of this if it weren’t commonly believed that men are optional and easily replaced. It is going to come as a shock to find out that those are both feminist lies.
@rpg and fuzzie … re: Obsidian. Sorry didn’t mean to derail the conversation. Just 4 guys was a great site and lots of cool discussion went down. Didn’t always agree with Obsidian but thought he did a great job of representing himself. Miss that place …
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