The other day I went along to a doctors appointment with a friend who is 76 and his girlfriend. He’s one of my favorite customers and was getting checked out to see if he was fit for back surgery.
These two make a striking couple even at their age, and I would love to see photos of them both from their youth. I imagine he likely looked like a taller version of James Dean and she like Marilyn Monroe.
The doctor was a beautiful Ukrainian gal, young, and I think she was quite intrigued when my friend introduced us as his wife (me) and girlfriend! He was joking about the wife part but I believe I saw the power of preselection in action because soon the doctor seemed to be crushing on him!
After we left I joked that the doctor was in love, and to that he replied, “I wouldn’t mind being married to a doctor.” Lol. Our brief sham marriage was over, just like that! Who says only women are hypergamus?
Well his appointment revealed that thanks to a lifetime of smoking, surgery might be risky, so now he’s scheduled to see three more experts to find out. The news made us all a bit sad so we went to the local Moose lodge to have a drink and ponder our mortality.
Not long after, in walks Zeus (Vixen’s former father in law.) He sat down with us and by golly my friend’s girlfriend starts batting her eyes and twirling her hair right away! Shameless.
Such is the power of an Alpha, even at the age of 78. My friend, a natural himself, could not outshine a man who has been working the ladies and loving the game his whole life. I am pretty sure had he asked, my friend’s girlfriend would have run off with him on the spot!
When I say my friend is a natural, I am not kidding. He dated my aunt back in high school, and my mom says he was the most eligible bachelor in the county back then. He says when he was 13, his mom had to start chasing the cars filled with 16+ year old teenage girls away!
But even so, he was no match for Zeus, who though older seemed 20 years younger in comparison. Everyone from the girlfriend to the waitress were tripping over themselves to catch his eye. The natural took it in stride and didn’t seem bothered by any of it a bit. Perhaps he was lost in his own thoughts about the hot doctor!
I simply sat back, watched the show, sipped my White Russian, and wondered what I would be like at their ages!
A Dad said:
I also wonder what I’ll be like at that age, and the possibilities don’t seem to bother me at all.
If anything this makes me realize even more that life isn’t over after a frivorce in my late-30’s. ;P Sounds like both of those guys have lived pretty well.
I’ve been contemplating what I’m going to start doing in a few weeks. Wife claims to be moving out in a week or two and has a condo rental lined up. Yeah, there is a drive to start dating, but I’m probably more keen on focusing on my own life and interests for the next 6-12 months. I’ve got a massive list of things that I didn’t get to do when I was married, and now I’ll finally have the time and freedom.
These guys probably didn’t get to where they are in life by crushing on women and living life for them. They got there by being the men that they wanted to be, without limits, and the women came to *them* instead. To a degree, things were more like this for me before I got married, and now I’m getting fit / healthy and free again. And now that I’m in better shape than even 20 years ago, I’m starting to see it all happen again. Lately, I’ve had women, complete strangers, totally outright admit to crushing on me (usually older women, as younger women are never forthcoming about this sort of thing). And it feels good to get this kind of reaction! I’ve got a new perspective on life and “the truth” pissed me off as well at first, because I feel like I’ve been fed a lie since my childhood. But now I feel surprisingly good about it all. These old dudes show that there is plenty of time left to turn it all around.
I’d be interested to hear more about these guys in detail. I know you’ve talked about Vixen and her ex-husband, but I don’t recall reading about his dad (Zeus). Maybe I missed the post. I’ll have to search for it.
Your perspective on these things is very refreshing, almost as though you are simply willing to talk about the things that other women refuse to acknowledge, let alone speak about. I look at my own soon-to-be-ex-wife, and I can only see financial hardship and a single life for her, all in the name of romantic fantasy and being a “SIW”. Not saying that she is incapable of making it (she is demanding a few years worth of alimony, which tells me she is only lying to herself), but I just don’t see that the outcome is meaningful. I hope I’m wrong, but wish her the best.
Dad, I am sorry to hear of your wife’s poor choice, and I do agree I think she will find things will be harder for herself than for you. You have the right attitude, make your life about you, not about women. Women are drawn to it! I may have written about Zeus in comments on another blog. I will write a more detailed post about them both! They really do offer two excellent red pill case studies!
Where will you be at that age? I hope on your husband’s arm.
Yes, good idea the bear has
It occurs to me that what our blogmommy is struggling with is the lack of confidence that men have from having gone through divorce. While this is not of her making, it remains a huge obstacle to be overcome.
Excellent idea, bear! That actually is my plan… I hope it is God’s plan, too! 🙂 although my squeeze is 9 years older than myself so I hope he lives to be an old, old man! 😍
A Dad said:
I think that the thing that wow me the most about this blog is the female perspective. I’ve spent a little bit of time on TRP and there are a lot of clowns in there. Young, angry, etc. The PIA culture isn’t really of interest to me. There is some legit value in some of the content on self improvement. But what I like about this blog is some of the real world observations about people and relationships from the perspective of a woman. I get that the point of this blog was to share this with other women, but it’s far more interesting that there are so many men that seem to be deeply involved in the conversation here.
I’ve got to be perfectly honest. After the coming to terms with my own situation, I was pretty floored about just how few resources there are for men. Maybe that’s why so many flock to things like TRP or MGTOW. I think that personal relationships are something that people have really lost over the years. As someone who moved from my home, I found that I no longer had ANYONE close to me that wasn’t in another state. And when my wife decided to do her own thing, I realized that the limited support system that I had was going to be gone and now I had to figure something else out.
I didn’t grow up in the town I’m in, but now I’m stuck here. So it’s interesting to hear what you have to say about people that you know. For instance, it’s so cool to me to hear that this charming friend dated your aunt. You tell a lot of stories about people that you know, so it seems to have a lot of value from an outside perspective.
Was your friend ever married? What about Zeus? Maybe stories for another time?
RPG, we do wish you well.
Women are always looking
to upgrade their men… even in there 70s!
You hear stories about Pheromones …
Quite some time ago, I went to a nightclub with friends (and their professor) who were all in some sort of behavioral science class at UCLA. They had come across a batch of some sort of phero perfume (possibly designed by someone at UCLA) and were testing it out. The results were pretty interesting.
The tendency seemed to be that the guys in my friends class got hit on by older women (guys in their early 20s and women who seemed to be in their 30s) … that didn’t happen all that much in those days. And, most particularly, the professional alphas (bouncers) seemed to be particularly alert and aggressive toward the kids in the “study.” It was more of a lark than a study but they did write up some class papers on the results. The bouncers seemed to be defending their turf, as if from other alphas, yet it would be pretty odd if they did that regularly when they saw female customers in their club interested in male customers … that would be the perfect way to have no customers at all.
Another for instance probably having nothing to do with smell: A member of my family was a professional racecar driver into his early 60s. He was an attractive man, but in the case I’m relating he was well over 70, just recovering from cancer and was sitting in a restaurant with his back to the door. A lady, over done and definitely striving to still be seen as young and “all that,” entered and immediately started making a fuss over him. He was a total stranger who she had barely seen in profile until she was well into her, ‘well aren’t you cute’ approach. We were all amused, including his considerably younger wife; she obviously still had one heck of a catch. But the thing that impressed me was that the speed of it all. She really barely had the time to pick him out of the crowd. It was like there was something well beyond behavior, looks … or maybe even smell, going on.
“These guys probably didn’t get to where they are in life by crushing on women and living life for them. They got there by being the men that they wanted to be, without limits, and the women came to *them* instead.”
yep … that’s very attractive to a woman.
A Dad said:
“yep … that’s very attractive to a woman.”
How about talking about it then? Your response doesn’t offer a lot.
So what’s attractive to you? A guy that does everything to please you? I’ve already done that for a woman, and I’m done with that. I could go into detail, but what’s the point? I already gain a lot more by her leaving. We all lose in the respect that she’s betraying her child and family for a myth.
Not being condescending. Just looking for an honest opinion. Clearly appears that you are a spiritual woman. My wife was rather secular. There is a very big difference there. I’m neither preferable towards secularism or “religion”, but I’d say that you have a bit of a buffer from what is the standard these days. So, please talk about it. Not sure how you can expect us to “get it” by offering so little.
(hey, Bloom – i already submitted this comment once but don’t see it. so if it double-posts, feel free to delete one 🙂 )
i apologize if i offended you in any way; i certainly did not intend to. nor did i intend to minimize what you’re going through at all. i am so very sorry she’s doing this. i went through a divorce 11 years ago, and i still hate every bit of it. i recently celebrated my 8th anniversary with my second husband. i have two daughters, one step son, and two adult children for whom i’m ‘Dad’s wife.’ i am ‘spiritual.’ i am what some would call a Christian, a Christ-Follower, a Believer … however you want to ‘label’ it, i believe in the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and in Jesus the Christ, the Messiah, and in the Holy Bible. i spent most of my life growing up and being active in a Christian church. my first husband was a preacher’s kid, and there are three men in our extended families who were/are in full-time ministry. i say all that to give you a background since you brought it up 🙂
“So what’s attractive to you? A guy that does everything to please you?”
never. not for me or for any other woman. unfortunately, overall, the contemporary Christian church has been invaded with feminism, and they teach that husbands and wives are to be ‘mutually submissive’ to one another and that husband’s are to be ‘servant leaders.’ neither is biblical, and neither works.
you wrote, “They got there by being the men that they wanted to be, without limits, and the women came to *them* instead.” and THAT IS attractive to women. as a Christian, i would edit that a bit, but that is essentially it. be who you are, who you were created to be. be the very best, and if a woman fits that, she fits, if she doesn’t … let her go.
my husband and i were actually talking along these lines last night. my dad is a total wimp. he started, grew, and sold a very profitable business, leaving him with mega bucks for retirement. my mom left him about nine years ago (they were both equally culpable) and remarried what we’ve labeled, “The Bitch from Hell.” it fits. although my dad bragged that he had an ‘air-tight pre-nup,’ my sister told me last week that she has weaseled her way into every single account he has, and he can’t withdraw one dollar without her knowing and ragging him about it. seriously?! it’s beyond disgusting. he can’t have his own email address, and she monitors his cell phone. AND … they went to marriage counseling at church to create this BS of a marriage where, “We do everything together.” B.S.
the husband should be the head of the home and the final authority. the husband is to take this role and take the authority and keep it, and the wife, regardless of how much she whines and begs and manipulates and whatever else the heck she does, should never have it. the husband needs to remain strong against hurricane 5 winds and waves cause she will bring it. he needs to be able to put her in her place quickly and firmly and move on without being swayed by her.
i have my moments and my terrible hormonal days and get very bitchy, and my husband calls me out on it every.single.time and doesn’t let me control him or our home. he does it in ways that work for me and my personality … and how isn’t as important as that he does.
if you want my story of my first marriage, it’s on my blog … but, in a nutshell, he never figured out how to be the authority in our home. i wanted it, but he defaulted it to me and then would get angry and passive-aggressive about it. i needed him to take the authority in the home, but he punted.
the guys out here will tell you AWALT … and, essentially, they are correct. i humbly (but not too happily as it’s quite bitter) submit to that hard truth.
Re pheromones, agreed there is something to that. Or chemistry, or whatever it is. I bought a pheromone roll on perfume like 10 years ago and I swear that stuff worked. People, both men and women, were just nicer and more cooperative when I wore it. Not even in a romance or sexual way, just in general nicer. People noticed me more. I sold more when I wore it than not. I am finally out of it and maybe need to get more! 🙂 thanks for the unintended reminder!
Dad Ame is a regular around this and other red pill blogs many here follow. She means no harm. Sorry if it seemed so. You are safe here, most of us have been exactly where you are now. We are here for you if you ever need to vent, talk, get mad, whatever! K?
Also Dad, my friend was married, twice actually. I am not sure how or why those relationships ended. But it was some time ago. He and his girlfriend have been together as long as I have known him. They have their own places, but are together often. I doubt they will ever marry, they seem to like how things are. Or maybe there are reasons I don’t know. Once or twice he’s come in alone, asking if I have heard from her when they’ve had a spat but they always make up. They are both fun people and I enjoy them a lot. I can’t imagine them not together, really. It wasn’t until two years after meeting him that we realized he knew my family years before…
Zues, he’s been married once as far as I know, but has many children by many women. And now many grandchildren. Two daughters are three months apart, I think that was the cause of his divorce. All his kids and grandkids proudly claim him and his name and all the kids see each other as full siblings even w different moms. He’s a logger and has mostly lived his life in a camp in Alaska, coming back here in winter to see his kin. So he’s used to an all male world for the most part, but likes the ladies. Rumor is he had a child not long ago, w a gal in Alaska in her 20s. Another time a guy who lives nearby and is the spitting image of his sons, I mean same body language and speech even, stopped by but said he was no relation. I razz Zues about that, bc I have a feeling…
I’ll have to write more on them both…
I am glad you enjoy the blog! I found the red pill several years ago while trying to figure out my own relationship stuff and have learned so much! I now see red pill dynamics all over, so I share those observations in hopes the info helps others! 🙂
Something about what Ame said bothered me and I can’t get to the bottom of it. One thing that has bubbled to the surface is that men are in no position to control or affect what goes on in a woman’s head. That goes further to explain why Angelina Jolie could dump Brad Pitt than red pill wisdom.
@ fuzzie, game is all about controlling what
goes on in a woman’s head!
Angelina Jolie is imho just plain old nuts. Poor Brad was trying hard, but w his blue pill ways he was better off sticking w Jennifer’s starry eyed adoration than sucking up to a temptress. He did break his marriage vows, btw, maybe that’s what didn’t work out, Bear?
I don’t think that Game can work, then.
I agree. He should have stuck with Jennifer. Still, when Brad Pitt gets dumped, what hope is there for the rest of us?
I think he got his just desserts, Fuzzie. So I am not sure he really is representative…
Larry G said:
Dad, I comment infrequently but I’m a lurker on a regular basis, so I’ll offer my 2c opinion if you don’t mind in awhile once my remember where I put my glasses. Beings I’m pert near 65, I qualify for “elderly” I believe? Been down the same road you are on now, except you seem to much more of a gentleman towards your soon-to-be-ex than I ever wanted to be towards mine.
Today is special. After a bitter divorce in 1988, I found a true lady to marry in 1993, and today is our 24th anniversary.
SFC Ton said:
Get me that Ukrainian doctor chicks phone number 😉
SFC Ton said:
Dad, don’t ask women, even the fine girls here, that kind of advice
Bear: “Brad Pitt gets dumped, what hope is there for the rest of us?”
Don’t let this get into your head. Hollywood people, even the “best known” of them, in a tabloid magazine sense, are generally VASTLY different than they seem to the public. Like you cannot BELIEVE how different. A celebrity may have the public perception of an alpha because of his screen and press persona but that isn’t necessarily what the guy is like at breakfast. In most public appearances, even the ones that seem to be the most revealing, these people seem to be a lot more normal than they really are. What they do is very, very, difficult and they tend to have the peculiarities of people who do fantastically specific and difficult things.
Actors start with the natural tendency, and then are more fully trained, to define every moment in their lives in terms of how that moment makes them feel. They obsess over their appearance and how they are perceived. They Shit Test many of those around them to see what they can get away with so that they know where they stand even when they actually don’t like it when they discover that, because they are the most expensive commodity in their environment, they are actually in charge. So … they have no objectivity, are narcissistic or solipsistic, and they are resentful of having to “wear the pants” when they really need to just follow along. What does all that sound like?
The leading ladies are very much the same … but, for better or for worse, tend to be a bit more hard working. And they know it. I always avoided celebrity gossip, probably why I was only semi successful, but just from the description on this page it’s pretty obvious that as soon as possible she started creating an environment of semi chaos that only she was in control of. Classic brainwashing; control the environment with confusion, pain, reward, extraneous seeming yet controlled and on theme detail. As far as I can tell the history of brainwashing and successful interrogation a lot of lessons from abusive relationships.
Anyway your typical male actor has no ability to break out of the “how does this make me feel, how does this make me feel?” whirlwind of it all. He has fewer resources than you do. All his training says “react, react, react” to the stimulus because he is rewarded by millions of dollars, gushing girls and even grown men hero worshiping him for recording his reactions on film. The more emotional a reaction the better. How can he have the unflappable masculine center required when married to Medusa? Nothing in the rest of his life gives him any practice.
To top of it all off, even a single actor is always wondering, ‘have I lost it, what if I make a mistake, what if no one loves me anymore?” The paranoia is ENDLESS and soul crushing, even when your on top … ESPECIALLY when you’re on top.
Actors are important for what they DO, which is act. That is what they are for. The life behind the act? You don’t want it and it’s meaningless to the rest of us. Not a model for anything. The Star is an Alpha only to audience members and lesser competitors.
A Dad said:
I appreciate the response and input about your own situation. Sorry about getting a bit defensive. I think that perhaps I might have taken the response a bit out of context.
I’d started writing a huge response about my experience, but then had second thoughts about it. Probably best left for for me to save those for topics on frivorce, etc. I did cover it a bit in other threads. If I can sum it up into something smaller, it would be something like this.
The divorce has been the most painful experience of my life, but it’s also given me a different perspective on a lot of things. If anything, it’s teaching me that I can go on my own path now, and live the life that I want to live. It’s not the outcome that I wanted for my family (I held on to the end) but I can turn this into a positive experience in other ways.
Like a lot of guys these days, I didn’t have any real male role models growing up. A lot of guys are just looking for answers and feel like we’ve been lied to. I am just talking about living like a man; Something that guys are now shamed for but yet are equally shamed for “not being enough of a man”. So where do we draw the line? I just want my son’s experience to be different some day.
And, honestly, I’m not saying that “Zeus” and the friend are necessarily the “missing role models” that I never had. Guys like that are interesting though. I feel that there is nothing wrong with a man with a strong presence. So when I hear a story about a guy like this, it kinda makes me think about how I’m going to handle things on my own new path. I’m not trivializing a woman’s value in the world, but I am seeing that not many of them offer me anything at this particular moment in my life where I need to seek introspection above all else. That will change with time. But if I’m being totally honest, there is still something that is rather intoxicating about getting attention from women when you are not actually seeking it. To some degree, I think that I feel that way because I was so defeated by being in love with a woman, for years, who could never commit to a normal and healthy relationship. Beyond her role as the mother of my child (arguably one of the most important roles of all), I think that even she could see that she no longer had anything to offer. It might sound cold for me to say that, but it is just what it is.
I gave her half of my life. Now, I get to focus on raising my boy to be virtuous and strong yet help him to avoid the same potential pitfalls in life. And now I have the next half of my life to live the way that I want to. While I’m obviously not comparing myself to “Zeus” or this friend, but I don’t think that there is anything wrong with aspiring to be strong, in command, and perhaps charming. Some things in life must come naturally, while others are learned or mastered. 76 is still a long way off.
i am so deeply sorry for what you’ve been through. my heart sinks when i hear your story and others like it.
and i’m sorry if i offended you in any way. i’ve asked Bloom to remove my comment after a time; i do not want to be offensive or arrogant or anything negative like that.
i hope, if you don’t get custody of your son, that you do get tons of time with him. kids need both parents, and it breaks my heart when they don’t get that. breaks.my.heart. my girls’ dad refused to see them for the last year+ of his life, and it broke them in ways i can’t even articulate and has taken years to get to a place of being able to function in this world.
healthy adult/parental role models seems to be hard to come by for some/many of us. good for you for seeing that and striving to be better than that. your son will definitely benefit. all of us NEED strong men in our lives.
A Dad said:
Thank you for your caring response.
To be honest, I’m going to fare far better than many guys. We already have an equal 50/50 parenting agreement (I had to fight for this) and it seems like the settlement is going to be pretty reasonable outside of a few years of alimony and child support, because it seems that she wants to prove to herself that she can make it on her own within a few years. I’ve already been through most of the tough grieving. I’m sure it’s not over yet, but things seem to be better. The worst part is that my son doesn’t yet know and he is going to have his world turned upside down very soon.
My best friend of about 20 years is going through a similar situation. He’s practically just decided to give up. Wife is moving away to be with another man and wants to take their only child and he isn’t trying to stop it. I can’t understand why, but I think that he’s still so depressed about his divorce that he isn’t even thinking clearly.
in the state of Texas, spouses are not allowed to move farther than a contiguous county from the county the divorce was filed. this is to keep both parents close to the kids. the parent can move, but the kids must stay in a contiguous county.
watch your friend closely. so many like him commit suicide 😦
A Dad said:
To be honest, he was almost at that point recently when he was at a really low point; Contemplating suicide. We aren’t in the same state anymore, which is unfortunate. I did tell him that most states have laws now that prevent a parent from taking the child away. He doesn’t seem to be pursuing it but did go talk with a lawyer. I don’t get it. He seemed like a loving and involved father and I think that he’s just broken now.
depression is really a rough road. it overrides everything. it has nothing to do with being ‘a loving and involved father.’ he might need medication to help him through this season.
i’ll pray for him. he doesn’t need the guilt of feeling like a bad dad on top of the divorce mess.
i don’t know any men who have come away from a divorce well due to the wife leaving for another man. the reverse is hard on women … but, imo, this does something to men that women cannot even begin to fathom. 😦
one of the absolute worst days of my life was when we told our kids we were getting divorced. i never blamed him and took full responsibility with our children. it didn’t take all that long for them to figure it out, and now, if i mention feeling guilty, they’ll both knock me upside the head b/c they knew their dad well. but, still, that day … their hearts and souls were crushed. my Oldest changed that day. the little girl she was before that moment died that day, and i’ve never seen her since. 😦 😦 😦
A Dad said:
My son and I are going to visit them soon. We are going hang out for a few days while back in town.
There is, of course. some likelihood that he was partially to blame for the breakdown of their marriage. We all are. Not everyone can admit to it. My wife still refuses to. Neither my friend, nor I, are the ones pulling the plug, but that doesn’t change things. Maybe the little things seem trivial, but they all add up. There is still guilt that maybe we could have done this or that to change things. Sometimes you can’t. It’s a two person endeavor. They married around the same time that we did. We all thought that we were impervious to divorce. His wife adored him. My wife adored me. We all were happy and thought that we were invincible and made it through many years. Things obviously change. Sometimes the monotony and stress of life changes people.
He and his kid spoke about it yesterday. Still thinks that dad can fix anything. Maybe she is right?
I honestly would take 10 more years of heartache to keep my kid from going through this. You can’t stop someone from leaving though. You can only try to get up, move on, and become stronger.
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William Warren said:
I have been following this blog with fascination for about 6 months now. My story parallels yours in terms of a new found freedom but mine was for a different reason….my wife became ill suddenly and died 3 days later. Poof…gone. It has been two years and jsut now things are coming into focus. One thing I never realized is my wife was almost domineering…i also had to face the fact that it was because I was not willing to take control of the household from her as per my place. I also realized part of the problem was the church I was attending. Once the elders tried to assert control over my life and family(i have two girls) I realized I had to cut away that tether. it was painful for me and my kids(me and my wife had 15 years together) but it was needed. I am learning what my role is not only as a father, but as a man, and now head of a household. My first reaction when I red pilled myself was holy shit…now what do i do? I am slowly coming around but it is a long process..do not lose hope my friend…it is not easy but you seem to be well on the path of realization…find a good circle to be with..and keep moving forward…:)
A Dad said:
This week was the first week that I’ve been on my own in nearly 20 years. I’ve gone out 3 times this week, where there had been times stretching months / years where all I did was work and come home to my family. Went to a brew pub a few times. Now eating dinner at a restaurant. Doesn’t seem to bother me to be alone. I did have a beer with a dude from my gym a few days ago. He is also going through divorce. Wife cheated on him years ago and things were never the same.
Someone asked me today how I was doing. I said “Very well. Things are way easier when all you have to do is take care of yourself.”. He looked surprised. I’d indicated that I’d already grieved for years, and got through the worst of it over the past few months. Now I’ve got far more time than I really know what to do with. Going to the boxing gym several nights per week. Pursuing my own hobbies in my downtime. Hanging with my dogs. I garden in my free time. My house is always clean now where it was a wreck when she lived there.
I’m not finding that I’m lonely at all. I kinda dig the bachelor thing, to be perfectly honest. Ex wife texted me for help with something. I gave her the tools to do it herself. She had some gurrrls help, and it’s still not done. Not really my problem now. If she ends up stranded with my kid, that’s something else. But she’s on her own now.
I wish you the best. Would love to hang with more similar like-minded folks. I might ask my boxing friend if he wants to go fishing. He seems to be an avid angler. Now is the time that I start meeting new people and make a new life myself. I hope you can make the most of your situation as well.
Welcome William! My condolences on you and your children’s loss, and yes you are right — you are their guide and protector. The red pill is bitter but I am glad I found it vs. continuing to live believing pretty but misleading lies. May God bless and watch over you and your girls! Xoxoxo.