Here’s an odd modern world situation — the idea that nobody is really taken.
Case in point, I have a colleague who has here and there over the years dropped hints about us dating. Well, for reasons I won’t go into, I have never pursured it, the main reason being I don’t want to add that complexity to my work life, it’s a small pond and I am not one for real world reality shows. Plus, the attraction isn’t there.
Mindful of the beta orbiter, and not wanting to mislead, I do my best to always keep things professional and about biz. It’s inevitable we run into each other because of work from time to time etc.
The last time he asked me out I was very clear that I was seeing someone exclusively and that it was serious. Now maybe the unavailability makes the heart grow fonder or something, but ever since he’s continued to ask. And more often (usually via text.)
I have consistently said, “Sorry I am in an exclusive relationship, nothing personal, but I can’t go to dinner (or on a trip or whatever.)”
It was starting to annoy me, so I confronted him on it. His reply was that well, since it’s long distance, he was thinking maybe I could tell my guy it can’t be “exclusive.”
Um, No. I let him know immediately and on no uncertain terms that was not an option either of us would consider.
Then he tried to make it about ME not being able to commit, or be all in a “real” relationship, so long distance served that need, he speculated.
Again I corrected him, and told him he knew nothing about my relationship, and it was rude for him to speculate.
Finally I pointed out the obvious, he did not seem interested, truly, in what I seek — a man who is all in for me and my kids. This guy, by his own admission doesn’t even like kids and never wanted them. Nor does he seem that keen on commitment in general.
I asked him nicely to just stop asking. And that unless he heard from me I was available, please assume I am not. He said he would.
I am not sure what to make of it. Maybe he just texts this stuff when he is bored or lonely or whatever. But if he thinks I’d throw away a good thing for a maybe fling? Forget about it…
Commitment. Honor it!
“Commitment. Honor it!”
How very old fashion of you. One might come to the conclusion that you are not a scatterbrained liberated western twit, er…..woman.
Perhaps some benefits to being old fashioned there is
Nobody is really taken even when married anymore. That’s a sad fact. Everyone tries to keep their options open and that’s considered normal now. Maybe he doesn’t get that this isn’t how you operate?
I know that my wife was getting lots of the same offers from her emotional (married) beta orbiter friend. They were both part of a hobby group together. I mentioned him previously. He wanted an option because he had one foot out the door in his own marriage and praised her for her “bravery” in choosing to divorce because he was interested in her. She wasn’t. Partly because he was friendzone, but ultimately freaked her out because he’s got serious issues that became obvious over time. We were already in our divorce process when he came onto her, but come on. At least let someone get through the end of it before trying to latch on.
It’s pretty annoying that the guy can’t get a clue and keeps asking though. Almost as though he doesn’t care about what you’ve told him over and over again. Someone came onto me recently and had to keep saying “no”. I’m not interested. People get defensive, and sometimes even mean.
I aim NOT to be typical, Larry! 🙂
True a dad, I find it annoying now that it’s been said repeatedly. And I do think he’s getting defensive or mad bc he’s started making the little “digs” like there’s something WRONG w me or my relationship. Ad. And ot a selling point!
Some people think that all negotiable it is
LTR’s can work. After a year of exclusivity my man is moving cross country…9 days to go!.
Negotiable? I don’t see what the negotiation even is except, “why don’t you destroy your stable relationship for a whole pile of ambiguity?” Nah. Pass! Lol
I’ve never done the LTR thing. No discrediting it though. I’ve had many “”e-friends” over the years, so I guess that the more personal relationship is probably just taking it a step further. There are times where you don’t even know someone even after living with them for years. People also change, or eventually show their true colors. So I’m not really sure it even matters.
It does seem like RPG gets a lot of grief from people about the LTR thing. Your experience too, Cyn?
Yes cyn I am curious if people gave you grief over the ldr thing?
In my case I certainly wasn’t looking for a LDR nor had ever been in one, but it just happened that way and it’s working well so I am not questioning it! Basically neither of us wants it to be LDR and it won’t be indefinetly, but there are logistics and such that make it so for now. Good things come to those who wait!
But seriously, normally I would not consider it but in this case I did and do!
There are two sources for this. First, the PUAs who have to ask a lot of girls out. If they have a two percent success rate, they have to ask out fifty girls. Second, there are girls that fend off advances by claiming to have a “a boyfriend”. The PUAs have heard this one before, more than a few times. Third, there are a lot of women that can’t give up monkey branching.
It is all a little bit sickening, enough to put a bear off his appetite.
Cyn,
I am glad that your LDR is coming through. Mine failed. In the first week, she was unavailable on weekends.
Translated (Smartphones!): 😉
“Yes CYN I am curious if people gave you grief over the LTR thing?
In my case I certainly wasn’t looking for an LTR, nor had ever been in one, but it just happened that way and it’s working well so I am not questioning it! Basically neither of us wants it to be true, and it won’t be indefinitely, but there are logistics and such that make it so for now. Good things come to those who wait!
But seriously, normally I would not consider it but in this case I did and do!”
He has the usual blue pill self orbitor complex. He wants to orbit so he can be there when it goes south and hge white knights to the rescue. Thats how his fantasy goes.
You are being too nice.
Tell him in no uncertain terms It Aint Never gonna happen. Piss Off.
Same way blue pillers get oneitis and stay too long, many orbitors want\need to orbit cause its easier than approaching a strange woman.
It is right that RPG can point out that guys will not leave her be when she say she is taken. There is something terribly wrong with the sexual marketplace. I don’t think the problem is with men. They are only responding to it. My guess is that a PUA shouldn’t have to ask fifty women before he finds one that wants to have a cup of coffee.
Acronyms:
LTR- Long Term Relationship
LDR- Long Distance Relationship
Ha. Yeah. I meant LDR in my translation, actually.
A Dad,
I just wanted to put it out there and not put anyone down for it. This post is stirring up sad memories. I was fond of that gal that I never got to meet in person. It probably worked out for the best.
I get it. It’s hard to get over someone you’re fond of, regardless of the situation. I was with my wife for half of my life. I’m still fond of her, but have to pick my ass up and move on, and make the best of it. Life is good, even when you get shit on by the person that you trust the most. You just get up and redefine yourself. Some days are harder than others, but you cope with it and turn the negative into a positive experience that builds you into a better man.
Sometimes I tell myself that I’d take her back before it’s all final, but it would be a mistake. I’ll still miss her.
Lol a dad, thanks for fixing the typos! Yes, smartphones are not so smart — I hate autocorrect! Lol
@ Fuzzie, I am sorry to hear that. In the early stages, I think it’s accepted anymore people are considering options (esp w online dating, shudder) but that if that doesn’t stop pretty quickly, it’s not a match.
I was very hung up on a fella I met not too long after being single again after 15+ years. Probably natural to feel so for the first halfway nice and normal person you meet. But he was waaaay too fresh off his frivorce. We never even kissed, just four dates, then were semi friends via social media. The more time went on the more I saw he was so not right for me, I had built him up in my mind before, and I was glad it didn’t happen. Sometimes things DON’T work out for a reason. Maybe you dodged a huge bullet. Hugs!
True horseman. Thing is his NOT respecting my commitment really calls his view of commitment into question, in my mind. He’s shooting homself in the foot, plus suffering unnecessarily. But like you say… it’s the orbiter script! (What’s that about?!?!?!)
he does sound more Alpha (not into commitment) than Beta, though. Obv not what u are looking for.
@rotepill I am not opposed to alphas, although many supposed “alphas” today (I call them faux alphas) have what I would consider serious character flaws. He’s a narcissist most likely, yes, but I personally don’t consider that alone to be alpha.
And true perhaps like all women I want fried ice, but sought a guy looking for and to make a commitment but also red pill awake was what I was seeking, and found! 🙂
also, what would it benefit me or my kids to spend time w guys who don’t want or like kids, or commitment? I don’t see any upside there?
RPG,
She was a 99% match according to OkCupid and I had answered over two thousand questions to test compatibility. I may not have so much dodged a bullet as seen myself as a set up as a target.
Sorry, RP Girl – I like your blog, but I have to disagree with you.
An LTR isn’t a real relationship, it’s a “buffer,” per the Rollo Tomassi scheme. If you were in a real relationship, with a man who’s actually physically present in your life, then these constant, persistent propositions from other men wouldn’t happen; men can sense this and most wouldn’t have the balls to constantly make unsolicited propositions to a woman who’s actually in a serious relationship with a man who present in her life and having sex with her on a regular basis.
Think about it. You may really like (or even ‘love’) the man you’re in the LTR with, but are you REALLY “taken” when it’s a guy who you communicate with regularly but who’s not physically present in your life?
A Dad nailed it. In 2017 America, no one is off limits – not married people, not people in LTRs, no one. Because it’s been shown too often and too many times — right man, right time, right circumstances, low risk of detection, she probably will cheat. Or she will think very, very seriously about cheating, and if she doesn’t, she’ll resent the holy hell out of her husband for “trapping” her and “restricting” her and “ruining her fun”.
She thinks, what’s the downside? My husband/boyfriend will never know. He’ll never find out. This guy will wear a condom so risk of diseases/pregnancy are almost nil. The guy is hot. I really really really want this. Imma do it.
Even as a married man, you’re never out of the game and you’re never off the market. Since your wife is keeping her options open, even if in the dark, back recesses of her mercenary little heart, you have no choice but to do the same.
As a man, you don’t get to opt out of the game. Every man is playing the game, even if he thinks he isn’t. It’s just that most of us play it very, very badly.
wordpress ate my comment
Kid Jupiter, I get what you are saying and would agree most of the time that’s so. Luckily he’s in a position to visit frequently, and we are planning the not LDR stuff. We are not 20-some, so the logistics are more complex when you both have property and obligations and such. Normally I would not consider or be in a LDR but in this specific situation, it’s working great and it’s a non problem.
Sorry Deti, let me check the cue… seems comments have been timing out before posting if they are long, or get hung up if they have two or more links… hope we can find it!
Found it Deti! And Larry G’s comment from the SAHM post, too! Thanks for letting me know!
“She thinks, what’s the downside? My husband/boyfriend will never know. He’ll never find out. This guy will wear a condom so risk of diseases/pregnancy are almost nil. The guy is hot. I really really really want this. Imma do it.”
No, no, no. This is stupid thinking for a gal, but many do. Even if nobody knows, YOU know you cheated. The relationship is never the same. There is no “no consequence” cheating, there just isn’t.
As time goes on, we’re going to see a lot more of these “monogamish” marriages and relationships. Women are going to pressure men very, very hard to have open marriages where, ostensibly, both are free to sleep with who they want. We know how that will usually work out – she will get lots, LOTS more sex partners, will find one that really trips her trigger, and she’ll catch feelz, and will just check out of the marriage.
But we will be told that men should do this because after all, marriage is about getting to have a family and taking care of kids. It is not about sex. Sex is just something fun that people do together, like going to a movie or eating a meal or watching TV. It’s no big deal. Plus, you want your wife to be happy, right? RIGHT??
Women want to fulfill their dual strategy and live it out forever: One man to be the beta bux who pays the bills and works the job and helps out with child care; and another set of alpha fux men for her to have fun with and play with and escape with and have mind blowing toe curling sex with, and she changes them out when she gets bored or catches feelz or whatever.
History is full of LDRs. Many men and occasionally women have had to live and work at a distance from their families on a great many occasions. I’m not sure if I (personally) would trust one but I certainly respect anyone who has made that choice for themselves or is forced into those circumstances. One of the GREAT mistakes our culture makes is to push people to be too close, too intimate, too in each other’s lives. If there is one thing The Red Pill teaches it is to have good boundaries, to not over share, to refuse all that 1970s fuzzy intimacy because getting too close is a turn off and often leads to a lack of mystery and respect!
That said, it’s not really this guy’s responsibility to “know not to ask” (though after you’ve turned him down a few times he is raising questions about his intelligence and desirability to others). Guys get an initial “no” a great deal of the time and it means nothing. I’ve gotten quite a few of them only to have the woman reconsider and approach me in a week or two. Sometimes I’ve thought that she just needed to feel that she had a choice or volition or something. I assume that some guys just get stuck in the not taking no for an answer because once in awhile it works.
The person who is in a relationship is the only one who can “cheat.” It is up to them to set the rules for themselves. While outsiders should respect those choices, the rules are not really their problem or responsibility. The issue here is that this is a “colleague,” someone that, I’m guessing, you cannot really avoid. They should probably have a different set of rules for themselves … like have a more modest approach with people you work with even if you think you are irresistible!
Alan – I agree with a lot of that. On the other hand, too much separation in a relationship also causes a breakdown, so there is a fine line. But it’s generally good for both people to have their own interests and identity as long as it’s healthy behavior and both people can still find time to include the other person.
Problems start to occur when someone makes the other person 100% of their priority, or the total opposite – Not a priority at all.
Yes Deti, this seems to be the trend. However, as with most things women think they want, they are focusing only on the upside and not the downside of such relationships. And there are many downsides, even for (especially for) the women themselves. Of those I know personally in such relationships, they are a train wreck mess. The old ways worked for a reason, and those rules and norms were set up as safeguards against the troubles living minus those things bring. The grass isn’t greener. Women are destroying their own safety, security, and civilization with such nonsense. They may “win” in the early years when their smv is at the peak, but as Vixen is finding out now, once everyone’s had a ride, the town pony isn’t so in demand anymore. And she’s got 40+ years to go in that category now. Options are very limited, and more so by the day! Don’t be foolish ladies!
Alan absolutely, all good points!
Who knows, maybe this guy is aware of the dual female mating strategy and figures maybe one day if the hormones are right it will be a yes? Not sure… but it’s really uncomfortable after the fifth time of saying, “sorry, nothing personal, but I am STILL in an exclusive relationship.”
True, dad.
Also I realize it’s a choice for me to make the LDR “an issue.” Or I can support his goal of getting in enough years at his current employer to have a sweet fully funded retirement that will benefit us both. I doubt he’d appreciate, or endure, princess temper fits about him not being here, etc. And I am not that kind of gal, anyway.
Further, what happens to the guy mentally in such a relationship? Either he discovers he likes his other options better (as Hercelse did) or he checks out emotionally as the provider/ protector. Lose lose. It doesn’t work, it won’t work, people wish it worked, but it doesn’t.
RPG – On the subject of upsides and downsides…
I know you’ve talked a bit on when you were RP’d and what lead you there. I don’t know if it’s too personal, but I know you also mentioned your ex-husband a bit, and how you felt that you weren’t really there for him when he was hurting. Maybe you’ve already mentioned it in other posts, but at which point did you realize that? Was it before, or after you took the red pill? Was it when you were on your own and no longer had someone else to also support you? If it’s too personal, I understand, but I am just interested in the progression of things.
I’ve had very mixed messages from my ex. It doesn’t change the situation, but now that she’s gone, it’s almost as if she’s starting to take a different perspective. The fact is, she was never there for me at all. A lot of guys tend to get totally wrapped up in the provider role and it’s expected that their needs don’t matter.
RP Girl, I can guarantee you wouldn’t (and won’t) have this problem with this or any other guy being overly persistent when your LTR guy is actually, physically in your life. You’ll probably still be propositioned from time to time, but it will end at the “no” stage. Us men pick up the signals, the pheremones, whatever. Right now, you’re giving mixed signals because you say you’re in a “relationship,” but you’re not giving off the signals, the pheremones that you’re in one. If the LTR guy was actually physically in your life, and his “scent” was on you, as well as your “scent” being different because you’re physically intimate with him, the propositions might not stop, but the persistence will.
Good luck!
Negotiable? I don’t see what the negotiation even is except, “why don’t you destroy your stable relationship for a whole pile of ambiguity?” Nah. Pass! Lol
……..
That’s what they all say until they see The Ton with his steely grey eyes and magnificent fur and scar covered hide
A Dad
Odds are good your ex is shifting her tactics to extract more help from you then required by your divorce/ separation decree
It’s a rather common occurrence
Ton – You would be right about that.
It’s also not going to happen. I am not going into detail, but I’m pretty sure I’ve got a good plan to deal with it, given the circumstances.
That’s how to do it A Dad
A dad
She is an ex. Period.
Other than being civil for any kuds you owe her nothing.
You are not a fdallbvack plan if tbings donbt work out.
And similar to deti. Yes women now adays do that.
We both made it clear we do not need each other but chose each other.
There is the door.
If at any time the game is not worth it, or there is temptation, or one just no longer wants it. The Door is there.
But it is One Time. Irreversible. Done.
We even know to the penny who gets what.
And She would simply cease to exist for me, and I to her.
If Me and She are here, we are here.
If not we are not.
Period.
No well maybe, or just once or what could happen.
We looked into the abyss very clearly.
We like US better than Me and She.
Maybe if more people were so blunt it would stop all this bad judgement based on feelz.
In Dads situation if she is gone, she is gone. No contact except that parenting or legally required. Emotionally she is off limits.
But thats just me
Rpg
but it’s really uncomfortable after the fifth time of saying, “sorry, nothing personal, but I am STILL in an exclusive relationship
Tell him even if there was No relationship it aint gonna happen.
“I’d only go out if you were the last man on earth!!”
YAHOO! I still got a shot!!!!
I really can spell. WordPress hates the lag in my keyboard.
Lol Ton, I just saw a guy on a motorcycle with the helmet in the face shield like your picture and it made me think of you and I was going to suggest if you’re ever out my way you should stop by and we can have a beer and talk shit and go for a ride on your bike. But apparently that wouldn’t be a good idea LOL. But if you are ailing sick I would like to meet you on the physical plain before you head of to Valhalla. I bet I could resist, not bc you aren’t irresistible but bc I pride myself on self control, but i guess we’d see!
A dad, that’s a good question, I will answer when I have time to really go into detail, that could be a whole post! But it wasn’t until after the red pill, many years post divorce.
Ton is correct, she’s likely trying to get help. Not helping is the best way for her to see the reality of her choices.
Elon raises somne scary points.
In 20 years there will be a whole demographic of 70+ year olds needing care or family support. With low birthrates and no family who is going to suppoirt them both financislly and economically.
Never thought of the size. Because of the one child policy the current entire 45+ population of china will have at best on child to support, help two parents. As Elon says they would need the population of all of indochina to immigrate to make up.
Imagine even 10% of NYC being todays SIW who in 20 years need assisted living from….their non existent children. Now multiply that by every major city in the U.S, Canada, Britain……wow.
Forget the welfare state impact, thge numbers alone socially are scary as hell.
Both my inlaws are 75+. Living in their own home but I have to do the hgandyman mnaintenance and Mrs cleans once a week.
mgtowhorseman – I’ve been making it pretty clear to her that I want nothing to do with her anymore, so I suspect that it’s why she seems to be trying to play these games. The money thing is certainly an issue, because I don’t need her but she needs me to survive. She got really wacky recently when I didn’t respond to any texts and didn’t seem to care when she dropped by for some things. Wrote asking if something’s wrong. Yeah, something’s wrong… You’re frivorcing me and I want nothing to do with you anymore. We are not friends…. At all.
If we didn’t have to be civil enough for the kid’s sake, I’d never speak to her again.
About WordPress. I also have problems with this blog on my phone. Really slow and crazy keyboard behavior. No problems on a computer though.
Btw, a dad, I believe it may be possible for you to salvage your marriage if you implemented some hard-core red pill and actually you might end up with a better marriage than you ever had but of course it’s a gamble the guys could probably instruct you better on that then I could. Several here have done just that. From what I have seen those guys say though they never feel the same about their wife after. Understandable.
Here’s a post that covers some of it…
https://notesfromaredpillgirl.com/2014/06/13/on-the-care-and-keeping-of-caveman/
RPG – If I red pill her, it’s not going to be to stay legally married to her. It’s going to be for other things. She’s already proven to me that she is nothing more than a liability. But, yeah. It’s already being done, slowly.
RPG, that post is pretty heartbreaking, if I’m being completely honest. Thanks for sharing it.
LOL I have 4 kids and two grandkids. No kids to tend to you is city folk problems
I am drunk enough that Vahllah sounds like a good idea, but I need some girl to follow me on to the funeral pyre but will an 18 foot Carolina skiff work as a long ship
There is a new post at Spawny’s
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2017/07/22/women-wont-see/
After reading Deti’s comments, it does put a whole different spin on this. Yes, I can see women wanting to take their marriages open and leave them effectively closed for the guys. This is going to be very popular with the women until they realize that it won’t go over too well with the guys. In pursuing a dual mating strategy, women are cutting their own throats and it will cost them when they are most vulnerable, when they are well past the wall.
RPG,
If this guy has asked you five times, there is something wrong here. Most men will not ask more than once. If he likes rejection so much, he should try online dating.
Another thought, to expand, women in total set the rules in the sexual marketplace. That we live in the the midst of hookup culture is due th the choice of women and men are merely reacting. If women who are “taken” are being hit on, it is because women generally want to be hit on, “taken” or not.
Sorry RPG, it is women who have brought this down on you.
Agreed Fuzzie, women largely demanded and created this murky boundaries mess we find ourselves in today.
I don’t mind the asking, I always take that as a compliment and am flattered no matter how interested I am, because it is nice! I would never nuclear reject anyone or be rude.
That said, he crossed a line once he started speculating about what was wrong w me or my guy or my relationship to explain to himself why I was saying no, rather than just realizing it is my value system. I think he admires how I do biz, and can see that together we could do great things, but…. I am not available. Plus w his ego, no. 🙂 would never work.
RPG,
Thanks for trying, but there is only one of you. As for nuclear rejection, there so many out there happy to make up for your absence. They actually believe that they are promoting Darwin’s Law. That is vanity.
I didn’t know about the ego.
It would probably work Ton. Sounds very epic! Lol. Anyone who could inspire someone to crawl up into a fire rather than be left behind… wow!
Ps
He was running a shit version of boyfriend destroy game
Boyfriend destroy game probably works better on blue pill gals. I am all too aware that good matches are hard to find, it’s a tough world out there, and the wall gets us all. Plus when we were first dating my guy sent an eight pound bag of skittles. The girls and I are now skittles guy proof!
Not one person has given me grief. But then again, I am a private person. In order to earn his trusr (he is red pill to the extreme) I have done things like: regular check ins when I leave my house and adhere to dress codes, installed a surveillence camera monitoring my door and living room in my apartment, added him to my security system with alers when my door opens, regular check ins, location tracking on my phone, keyloggers on all devices, etc. I adhere to this to earn trust. He wants to know the wool isnt being pulled over his eyes and I have no issue with it because I WANT to “belong” to him. None of these are a big deal to me. Please, hold me accountable. These details I keep to myself. “OMG hes so controlling!” Yep. And I love and am a better woman for it.
Probaly works better when it ain’t coming from a chump
Lol Ton, that also! It is true he lacked frame, just came off as whining rather than convincing!
Tommasi iron rule #1: Frame!
Nothing works long term when it comes from a buttsorebeta frame
Very true Ton. Imagine, in a whiny voice, a grown man, “but why not? What’s wrong with you? What, you can’t be in a *real* relationship? Only long distance? Is that it?” Icky…. ewwwwww, no. It was a no, now it’s a hell no! Anti-tingles!
LOL I have pulled a lot of dudes’ bitches and it was never by acting like a bitch myself
Plus when we were first dating my guy sent an eight pound bag of skittles
Green ones the best they are
RPG: “That said, he crossed a line once he started speculating about what was wrong w me or my guy or my relationship to explain to himself why I was saying no, rather than just realizing it is my value system. I think he admires how I do biz, and can see that together we could do great things, but…. I am not available. Plus w his ego, no. 🙂 would never work.”
Classic narcissist. You are an actor in his personal play. When he’s alone, you exist in his imagination, not in reality. When you insist on violating his script for you it freaks him out a bit and he tries to convince you to play your role appropriately. He’s just sure that it’s a mistake, that you simply don’t understand or have forgotten your lines.
Very true Alan, he does show signs of that for sure. It does feel like its not really about me as a person/partner, it’s more like you say — about what he thinks I should do for his benefit or “owe” him. No thanks. Pass!
I know his ex wife, and of course one needs to take it w a grain of salt, but she does not speak highly of their experience. He ended it after she opened her own biz, and was not available at his beck and call.
When we first met, he was married. He’s said since his immediate thought was how we belonged together. Odd thing to think when they were newlyweds, no? They lasted less than three years, she was his second wife.
As a child he was the “mascot” for his parents biz, always in the press and on the stage. Perhaps that was not good? The product of stage parents?
In any case, not my problems, and thank Goodness!
if the relationship is solid and the man is a captain of his life there is no Chad in the world that can turn a good woman’s head.
Some women no matter how well led will never shake hypergamy. This is the sad state of society in which feminism is deeply rooted in some women’s psyche. This is the vetting process that men must have. This is what you guard against.
It’s funny really. Mm want sexy hot women. These women attract orbiters. It’s fact. I’m not concerned with that. It how I handle it that I’m concerned with. How I handle it speaks more about how I deal with having a sexy woman in my life.
My gf has Orbiters. A lot of them. She doesn’t entertain them nor encourage them.
For the men reading this. Being Alpha isn’t hard. You do what you want. Every time. You have to decide you want the woman you have in your life to be there wen your life’s mission is complete. Showing this will keep her around.