In a comment, Mtgowhorseman says:
To help women you need to get this message out.
A brilliant comment from Dalrock’s. It is THE ONLY ADVICE women need.
“Word for women who lurk: there is such a thing as “fitness testing to destruction”. You can be Little Miss Bossy long enough, loud enough, and mean enough that he just doesn’t want to be around any more. Period. The juice is not worth the squeeze. He’d done, all done with you.
That doesn’t have to mean divorce. It can just mean he checks out from the marriage, permanently. His attention is never on her, beyond the absolute minimum, he provides in a mechanical fashion as for a pet or an invalid, and spends as little time with her as possible. If you know what to look for, you can see couples like this in many, places, including churches.There is a cure but it is never applied: it requires the woman to humble herself, and far too many women prize their pride above everything else. Yes, churchgoers, everything else. To paraphrase Milton, there are women who would rather reign in a Hell of their own making than submit and gain a slice of paradise.
Don’t fool yourself with your female “always one more chance” adaptability. Women don’t close doors quite the way men do. The last minute of Gone with the Wind is worth watching, because Rhett ain’t coming back, ever. He has spoken.”
Truer words have not been said, and I have seen it in real life many times. The guy may be there physically, but emotionally he’s checked out. She’s cried wolf one too many times, and he’s gone.
Society tells women today that men want sassy, brassy, bossy women. Actually, men don’t really like that. That doesn’t have to mean women need to be doormats, but there’s often a better and a worse way to go about things.
What many men don’t realize about fitness testing, is that society has also taught them the wrong message, that the way to respond to fitness testing is to give in. “If momma ain’t happy, nobody’s happy” or “happy wife, happy life.” Such a response feeds the cycle, him submitting is not what she wants. Sometimes what women doing this really need, is for him to say, “Enough!” (Men in this situation should read this great advice here.)
However, ladies, there is a beauty also in not going there, and that is a choice you can make. Perhaps you know such a woman? Men are drawn to her, naturally wanting to please and dote on her? Not because she demands it, but because ever so sweetly and truly she doesn’t. Men can hardly wait to get home to such a woman, the opposite is true for the cranky, quarrelsome one.
Let those who have ears hear.
What do you think? Please share in the comments.