It’s been awhile since I have written about Red, as I have not seen him in nearly a year.
As some of you may recall, I knew him and his wife and their two adorable kids through Rotary, and watched in horror when she heartlessly kicked Red to the curb, then (no surprise to me, who had taken the red pill already) announced two weeks later that she was in love with her new fitness coach.
Sadly, she’s likely a narcissist, as she immediately went into “destroy Red” mode to cover her tracks, convincing everyone (except me) she was the victim. Amazingly (or maybe not in a culture where such claims from a woman are accepted without question) most in our community supported her “bravery” and shunned Red.
I befriended him through those rough days because he certainly needed some support. It was terrible to watch how selfishly and callously she blew up her family with no regrets. Sick.
Within months the boyfriend moved in to the home she and Red had shared. Red reacted not unpredictably by coping with it all by drinking more and more over that first year, which sadly only made it easier for her to paint him the bad guy, while she manipulated him in his vulnerable state into signing divorce papers without a fight that gave her everything, and left Red with almost no say or time with his kids and little more than the shirt on his back.
She’s very well connected and soon the local policeman was tailing Red every time he came to town. It wasn’t long before he was pulled over, narrowly failed a breathalyzer, lost his job as a result, and was in a heap of trouble. For awhile he was living in this SUV. It was grim.
I shared his story with my red pill guy, who without hesitation saw what Red needed, hired him a lawyer, helped him get on his feet, and started calling Red regular to give him red pill advice and mentoring. Red found a new job, and as the universe would have it his new boss had been frivorced himself, and also took Red under his wing. With the help of these two men he got back up, got an apartment, and started putting his life back together again.
On weekends when he had the kids he would drop by, and I grew very fond of his gangly 11 year old son and adorable 8 year old daughter. They liked me too, and looked forward to visiting. But over time I noticed a change in them, the light slipping out of their eyes.
Then one day over dinner it came out. The fitness trainer boyfriend (a former Marine with PTSD) was not the great guy Red’s ex led everyone to believe in her fawning “soul mate” Facebook posts.
The son started to describe the walking on eggshells environment at home. Turns out this boyfriend runs it like a military internment camp, complete with psyops and regular random terror.
As the brother talked, his sister sat there rocking, sucking her thumb, looking scared out of her mind. Then she quietly said, “He spanks his girls (6 and 8) with a belt — with the buckle end.” And apparently he made everyone watch.
I warned Red I felt his children were in grave danger, even though so far he had not hit them, although he had started to make their mother do the spankings over minor infractions. I worried it was only a matter of time.
A few weeks later I got a call from a very distressed Red. His son had called the police, after the boyfriend disciplined him himself with the belt for the first time. Unfortunately the boyfriend and Red’s ex have that “looks good from the street” thing going, and the boyfriend convinced the police the boy was exaggerating. Red’s son was the one the police were stern with, telling him it was legal for the boyfriend to spank him, warned him to listen better and do as he was told, then left.
Red was a wreck at the news and asked me to meet him at the bar he was at. By the time I arrived he had drowned his emotions and was far too drunk to drive, so I drove him home. Things cooled down at his ex’s after the police visit, after all Red’s ex can’t have people finding out and ruin her pillar of the community image, but I worried his son would someday pay for making that call.
I am not sure why but Red reacted with helplessness, perhaps a learned helplessness from years of living with a narccist wife?
Not long after he was pulled over again, again just a tad over the limit, but enough to land him back in jail. My guy bailed him out, got him a lawyer, and we hoped for the best. Red entered a one year agreement to undergo intense counseling, regular testing for alcohol, and install a “blow and go” breathalyzer in his car in exchange for having the charge dropped from his record if he stayed on the straight and narrow, didn’t drink, and successfully completed the program.
He had meetings and counseling every morning before work and every evening after. He did little more than that and work as he once again picked up the pieces and worked to get back on track. His boss was luckily supportive, and Red began to rebuild.
I had not seen him in nearly a year when we reconnected this weekend to catch up. As we talked about how hard he had been working and how well he had been doing, his phone started blowing up with texts from his son. Not good.
Red confessed things were bad. The boyfriend now fiancée is drinking heavily, and is a mean drunk. When he’s on a bender, he’ll randomly pick one of the kids to “discipline,” often Red’s son.
The text revealed this time it was the daughter who got it, a drunken beating with the buckle end of the belt.
“What are you going to do?” I asked. Red seemed resigned, and said he hoped when the kids got older, they could move in with him. I pleaded with him not to wait, and to do all he can to gain custody and get the kids out of that mess. He said he’d think about it.
As I drove home I found myself wishing I knew somebody around here like Ton. Someone who loves and cares about kids, has good strong friends who feel the same, who could go school the boyfriend, then let him know that it would be his last warning.
But I don’t. So instead I prayed that God will surround those kids with his best archangels, protect their bodies and minds, and somehow bring the truth to light and get them to safety as soon as possible.
And then I lost it at the idea of the terror and helplessness those kids must feel. I was crying so hard I could hardly see the road.
After I collected myself, I called my guy who immediately took charge and is going to call Red and help him develop a strategy to help those kids. Thank God. Red needs some good solid man-to-man advice because the system is not stacked in Red’s favor. And if anyone can come up with a plan to help Red gain custody that will be so airtight and four steps ahead that Red’s ex and her cowardly boyfriend won’t stand a chance of stopping it, it’s him.
To men with ex’s like Red’s, please do whatever it takes to make sure your children are not in her care. And to women in a situation like his ex, if you won’t stop it and don’t want to leave fine that’s your choice, but for God’s sake do what is right for your kids and let their dad’s raise them. Because if anyone will seriously harm or even kill a child, it’s a boyfriend like that. Sadly, it happens every day.
Let those who have ears hear.
Please feel free to add Red and his kids to your prayers and to share your thoughts in the comments. Hopefully I will soon be sharing the news that the kids are out of that terrible situation and safe. Stay tuned.
(Please note, this is not about the spank or no spank debate. In my opinion hitting a child with the metal buckle end of a belt is not “spanking.”)
Notes From a Red Pill Girl 
A couple of nanny-cams and the threat of releasing the video to the cops and/or social media could prove educational. I’m not even in the States so I have no idea of the legality of such recordings in your state, that’s why the social media could be the way to go (or threaten to go). Her social standing could disappear overnight.
Just a thought.
Insightful post. But there is one additional insight I would like to share. It’s about the need for women like this to have drama in their lives.
The mistake I used to make was to think these women didn’t know better or that they were victims. But what I’ve found is that these women live this was on purpose because they have to have some sort of ongoing “crisis” in their lives in order to feel “happy.” This is similar to the way music fans like to have tunes playing in the background all the time or sports fans always have to have the game on.
If the boyfriend left, this woman would find some other source of drama, such as provoking people at work or getting overly-involved with her kids. It’s pointless to try and help such women. When she gets a new boyfriend, she’ll just find another one who is equally abusive and drunk — if not worse.
My guess is that Red got kicked to the curb because he was a dependable, responsible man who created minimal stress. That’s where he went wrong. Had he run the house like an insane asylum he’d probably still be living there with her and her kids.
Life for men now is a Bizarro World when compared with what it was in the 1950s and 1960s. All the things they told you to do then don’t work and all the bad behaviors they warned you against are what women expect.
As for women, years ago, we’d train women not to indulge their worst instincts and to get their daily fix of drama from soap operas (and before that it was radio “serials”). These days, the collective influence of the schools, the media, and the churches have created a climate where we can no longer judge women so any bad behavior can’t easily be corrected. This is the end result of that sort of culture. Good luck to the kids. They’ll need it.
So true days of broken arrows. Unfortunately, I think you are correct – she maybe needs this drama. Sadly. So destructive, but I have seen it many times, in many forms. Maybe the drama of losing custody will provide drama that helps the kids? Sad. Thanks for commenting and welcome!
Good idea Spawny, maybe use her own worst fears against her? Smart psyops!
Advice from a lawyer, in case anyone else is in a similar situation: https://dadsdivorce.com/articles/protecting-your-child-from-your-exs-abusive-boyfriend/
I can’t add much. It does seem as if Red has to get both the boy and the girl out of there at the same time. If one gets left behind, that one will catch what was meant for both of them.
Stats and info on boyfriends who abuse: http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2011/04/3181/
And: http://family-law.lawyers.com/child-custody/child-abuse-and-child-custody.html
While I don’t doubt that this one is called right and that kids are never as safe as they would be with their biological Dad, this post brings home what a risk a man takes if he chooses to be a stepdad. He can be accused of all manner of awful things and have to prove a negative.
As we concluded last year, Red’s ex should have left well enough alone. She and the kids were so much better off.
ugh … my heart is breaking.
some thoughts:
– if Red can take kids to ER when he knows they’ve been beaten, that would give evidence of abuse.
– HOWEVER … if the CPS gets involved, they WILL evaluate Red, too. Red will go thru the same as his ex, and there is a good chance they will take the kids till they determine who is safe and who is not.
– sooo … a trusted and known physician to document bruises, etc, would be better.
– a HUGE thing for kids who are being abused is that there is someone who believes them. that Red believes his kids is HUGE. (i let my parents stay in my home one time when my girls were preschoolers. i caught my dad hitting my girls – not enough to bruise them, but still … he would get frustrated and just hit them. when i caught him i told him that he absolutely would not ever touch them again. my mom was right there and said, “He didn’t hit your girls!” i said, “Mom, I saw him. Dad hit my girls.” my parents had so deluded themselves that they refused to believe he hit them. needless to say, that was the last time they even saw my kids till they were 9 and 11 at my niece’s graduation.
– counseling counseling counseling. each child has their own personality, so finding the right counselor can be tricky. my girls needed different things from counseling, and it was more effective with one than the other. for one, group counseling was also a huge help – it helped her to know she wasn’t the only one. (i put them in counseling when their dad left and at different times over the years as needed, such as when they became suicidal 😦 ).
– one thing i did that really helped was to write down ways my daughter could protect herself with her dad and his parents during a season when they were especially harsh with her – it was all mental and verbal, but she was 9, her whole personality changed, and she became suicidal. i wasn’t able to prevent her from being with her dad, but we were able to come up with specific ways she could help protect herself when with them. i know it’s not the same, and i’m not there, but there might be things Red and his kids can come up with to help them.
– listen and let them talk. this is HARD and heart-breaking. but kids need a safe person, and it’s best when that safe person is a parent.
– know that the ‘safe’ parent will also experience the most negative behavior from their kids because they are the one they feel safe enough with to act out. i allowed this within reason – they had to respect me, but they were free to say anything they liked. and it was hard. and harsh. and heartbreaking. they also had lots and lots of meltdowns – i was careful to address the root and not the symptoms – meaning i didn’t get onto them for the meltdown, i worked with them to determine what the cause was.
– time time time … kids need a lot lot lot of time with you before they feel safe talking to you. it was very normal that i would spend up to two to three hours alone with each daughter when putting them to bed every single night. yes, i was exhausted, and no i didn’t get a lot done, but they needed it. they wouldn’t talk right away. it would be after an hour or so of just being with them that they would finally get to the deep stuff.
– i created character roles i would go into, and that helped them. for example, for one daughter i made my hand a puppet and changed my voice and personality. we called her ‘Handy.’ it was AMAZING what she would tell Handy that she wouldn’t directly tell me. i chose to use my hand as a puppet b/c i knew i would always have it with me.
– it’s a sacrifice. it will cost Red. it will cost him either way, but it’s good to know up front that it won’t be easy, and that’s okay.
– few will understand or support the safe parent. sigh. what a gift you and your man are; i cannot even begin to express how HUGE you are in their lives. just that you believe him and support him. H.U.G.E. be diligent keeping up with Red; he NEEDS your support, and the little things mean more than you will ever comprehend.
– creating a safe place for his kids to come to your home is HUGE, too. my girls and i lost friends when i learned what their dad was doing. (kids are amazing, though. one neighbor girl and my daughter maintained a friendship on-the-sly at school even though her mother forbid her to see my daughter anymore.) kids need safe places they can go where they can feel and experience normal.
– Red NEEDS friends who support him and encourage him. of course, men and women are different, so i don’t know how that will look for a man, but i maintained a group of about ten women who i kept updated weekly thru email and who prayed for me. it was HARD on them, and i had to be careful what i shared with whom sometimes. there were seasons i was seriously concerned someone would off their dad – there were certainly many who wanted to.
– i tried to call one friend a day, and i rotated who i called b/c the stuff was so hard and so heavy that no one person could handle it. so i spread it around. but i knew i needed people i trusted that i could talk to. i had to feed myself so i had could give everything possible to my girls.
may God put a hedge of thorns around those two precious children. may He be very real and present in their lives. may He send legions of angels continuously to protect them. may He give them coping mechanisms to protect themselves when they are in terrible situations they can’t get out of. may He open the eyes of those who need to see the truth so those kids can get out quickly … and stay out and stay safe. may God give Red the strength and wisdom and knowledge and resources to do everything he can to protect his kids. may God protect these two children from every form of evil.
– God does give children coping mechanisms in abusive situations. He gave me quite a few when i was growing up. i didn’t know they were ‘coping mechanisms’ till i was in my 40’s, but that’s what they were.
since it sounds like Red can become easily discouraged given all he’s gone through (may God have mercy), i wanted to emphasize again that kids will act out with the SAFE parent. he needs to know this so he doesn’t take it personally – it’s actually a compliment. it’s super hard to remember that sometimes, but it’s true and real. kids need a safe place to let it all out so they don’t keep burying it deeper and deeper.
Rpg
Address please.
Ton
Bring a shovel
And thats not a joke.
Men need to take care of things like this as any “system” takes too long.
Thank you Ame, lots of good insight! Thank you for sharing all that, this is new territory for me so that is really helpful! I will pass the thoughts along!
I know kids can make stuff up, but that night they first opened up, there was no way it wasn’t real, based on the daughters body language and such. Her brother is so brave to speak up, that little guy (now 13, not so little) has the courage of a lion. Truly!
Gladly horseman, I’d be right there with you guys! That guy makes me sick. And so does the mom.
thank you.
NO, those kids are not making this up.
Red is going to need strong support.
– every.tiny.thing counts. don’t discount anything.
– it would be good for people to commit to contact him regularly – like weekly.
– make sure he knows he ALWAYS has a ride when drinking. this will likely get a lot worse before it begins to get better, and the whole process is going to take a looong time. he doesn’t need to be stopped again for drinking – but he also doesn’t need to be guilted over it, either.
– personal contact is imperative – hearing a voice, seeing a face, hugs. HUGE.
– i had a friend who called herself my ‘Listening Friend.’ she said that God told her she was to simply listen to me. and she did. a lot. a LOT. she also kept my girls a lot; she was a very safe person for all of us.
– guilt will become even bigger. if he’s a Believer he needs to know this guilt is not from God … it’s from the enemy who is seeking to kill and destroy not only Red but his kids, also, and guilt is one of his greatest and most effective weapons. it’s why i love it when Ton says, “I don’t give *that* space in my brain.”
– Red will need tunnel vision to get through this. he’ll need to ignore the stupid, idiotic people who are feeding him lies – and there are tons of them. (sheesh … my Aspie-girl is spending a few days with my sister who teaches a lot of sped kids, and she is continuously critical of how i’ve raised my girls. i called to check on her, and my sister started going off on something. i told her that i don’t tell her how to raise her son. she said she will tell me when she doesn’t agree but i’m the mom. ugh. Oldest said, “Mom, how is it you came out so normal when your whole family is so screwed up!” by the grace of God, alone.)
may God raise up an army of (mostly) men to support and hold up Red during these days; he needs it like he needs air to breathe.
This guy should be beaten to within an inch of his life. Im surprised the dad hasnt sorted this yet.
The woman here is enabling his violence by saying nothing.
The constant fear/stress of getting a beating or verbal abuse will destroy the kids health and mental well being.
If it were my son, I’d break the man’s nose and then both of his arms. I don’t care if he is an ex-Marine.
Lots of guys give up after divorce. My buddy is in a bad frame of mind, as well, and seems to be giving up on custody of his daughter. Sorry to hate on Red, but he needs to get his balls back. His kids need him more than ever. It’s only a matter of time before they are permanently hurt or killed.
I get how devastating the divorce can be, especially with a narcissist. There will be no negotiation with his ex. It will not work. All you can do is fight back. There is no such thing as fair with such a person. She cannot see the damage that she has caused.
@ian and a dad, agreed. I’d love to meet that chicken s#it boyfriend in a dark alley with the buckle end of a belt, myself! I do not understand why Red has not taken action except his ex truly is so well connected and has everyone so fooled, maybe he’s afraid? If someone did that to my kids, and I let it happen, I have no doubt it would never stand, we’d be getting a funeral by John Deere w/o a second thought!
I would never, ever stand for someone treating my kids that way, I’d live in a shelter, on the street, whatever it took!
The ex’s mom is fighting her and is very concerned about the kids, too. Maybe Red can work together with her?
Agreed also re Red needs to step up, if she won’t keep their kids safe, in my mind he has no choice. We’ll help him get in the right frame!
Yes, Ame. I told the kids when they first described it to steer clear of this guy when he’s in a mood, not to fight w him. The daughter back then was spunky, that scared me if she stood up to him. I again told Red this weekend to tell the kids when the bf is drinking, go to their rooms, just stay away. He said his son does, but not the daughter. He said he feels they need to figure it out, that he doesn’t want to cause drama, but I believe his kids NEED to have guidance in this, and badly need his or someone’s help.
Also, I think Red told me for a reason. I will not rest until those kids are safe.
The dad here is soo passive it doesnt make sense. His biological instincts should
be kicking in to protect his kids. He must have depression or something wrong.
If i heard some guy was abusing my kids i would instantly go charging round there like a maniac ready to kill. I would not be able to control my rage. There wouldnt be any stalling.
Id imagine most guys would be like this
In unrelated news, a majestic bald eagle is circling over my place. I hope he’s not eyeballing my new puppy! That little squirt is two pounds or less! He’s inside now…
Ian – Depressed and clearly drowning it in alcohol. He still might not have recovered from the fallout of his wife’s personality disorder. That can really mess your head up.
He’s got to drop alcohol completely, and take care of his body. Get his mind back. Do it fast.
True Ian, I don’t get it either. I will see if he can explain maybe, wo of course being confrontational, more concerned. I don’t think ME telling him what to do is good, but I can suggest ideas. Maybe my guy can take a more directing role? Guy to guy?
He no longer drinks bc he gets tested random and regular. But very true depression may be at play. Also, she really beat him down, psychologically. Brutally. Not good. Witch! Grrrr….
My oldest’ dad, he has always said anyone hurts her, he’d gladly go to prison for life to stop it. Of course, doing it wo prison is better, doing it methodically and legally. Have the kids take pics of any marks. Get audio of the guy ranting. Ask her if she wants to sign the papers (all made up and ready) or see it on the Internet and handed over to the authorities?
A dad: Yes i dont doubt this has taken its toll on him, & is affecting him.
RPG: Agree suggestions should not come from you. That would be humiliating.
If i was friendly with these kids father i would tell him he has a duty to get his kids out of this environment immediately.
“My oldest’ dad, he has always said anyone hurts her, he’d gladly go to prison for life to stop it”
Yes. I have heard many guys say this kind of thing. Its a natural response for men… rather than a logical thought out thing. Which is why this guys behievour is strange.
Giving up is not an uncommon thing in difficult divorces when a guy has been beaten down. I’m going to get disagreement from some but giving up without a fight is the main reason that good men lose their children today, even when laws are getting better about shared parenting. I basically made my wife aware that I’d financially destroy her for full custody unless she agreed to meet me in the middle at 50/50. Not to mention evidence I have that would have made her look like a questionable parent. She decided not to fight me on it.
Red’s resigned himself to remain passive. RPG – Have you and your guy really “red pilled” him enough to let him know what the future will be like for both his son and his daughter? He might get angry with you for it, but it might encourage him to start acting. My buddy’s so wrapped up in constant sex with a strange new woman that he doesn’t seem to even care.
What’s Red’s story besides the job? Is he involved with another woman already? If so, odds are that she’s just like his ex unless he’s got his crap together.
If my wife shacks up with a new guy, when we meet that’s going to be the first thing that I say to him. “Hurt my kid and I break all of your fingers.” Then I’ll buy him a drink. By that time, however, I hope that my kid will be a good enough fighter that it wouldn’t be likely.
Rpg:
“Have the kids take pics of any marks. Get audio of the guy ranting. Ask her if she wants to sign the papers (all made up and ready) or see it on the Internet and handed over to the authorities”
This is the natural response of a woman and is logical for them.
But as a man, would i be leaving my kids there to get bruises to photograph or audio of them being abused?
Id slit my own throat before id take this approach.
I would be removing him from that house by whatever mean necessary immediately. I would deal with consequences after.
Rpg:
Regarding taking pics of marks or recording
him etc.
This is the natural response of a woman and is logical for them.
But as a man, would i be leaving my kids there to get bruises to photograph or audio of them being abused?
Id slit my own throat before id take this approach.
I would be removing him from that house by whatever mean necessary immediately. I would deal with consequences after.
Said duplicte comment so i had to edit that .. but it posted anyway
Dad, red is not dating that I know of. My guy advised he steer clear of women until he gets his entire situation in order, complete the program, pay off debt, just work, sleep, do what he needs to do. He desperately wanted a relationship at first (understandable) but he’s not in a good space to choose wisely. Maybe another six months to a year, get the kid thing under control. He’s listened, it seems.
True Ian, women do have to do things different, but when you put it like that, makes much more sense. However there is a legal agreement, violating it could meAn kidnapping. He would not be able to save the kids from jail.
I could only think about finding women at first. After I started training a lot more, for some reason, that dropped off of the priority list. Casual sex and drinking are two of the most destructive things to a man that is broken, yet they are the two of the most common things that he will seek (also junk hobbies and porn). What’s his level of physical fitness? Red pill wisdom with regard to “AWALT” and stuff like that aren’t enough for him. All it does is make one angry without an outlet. He’s got to find things to get his brain working right again. Has he made any new friends in the past year? He’s got to have some sort of outlet outside of constant work.
I know that doesn’t help the issue at hand, but he sounds like he’s given up and basically just simply functions, works, etc. That could be part of the reason that he got into this slump in the first place.
It seems he cant help his kids when he is not in jail either.
But again i wouldnt care about legal agreements in this scenario.
Id issue threats re: police.
All men need to have violence i their locker
I wish that I had an answer for Red, but I have never been down this road, directly or indirectly. The best thing he can do is get a good lawyer who can walk him through it to a permanent and legal solution.
When RPG mentioned “witch” a lot of the old thread came back. She is one. It is my guess that she is at the center of this drama, pulling strings.
PTSD is for pussies
If this is all legit…… and kids lie about this sort of shit all the time
Red is a pussy for not fucking that dude up. Can’t to the line and get the job done?
Anyone can run a dude over with a car. Or put a bunch of small babies full of meth and cash in his car and call the cops. Red disgusts me as much as the marine. A brainless pussy to. Anyone can email the cops photos of the buries etc from the belt, or reds kid couple have dropped his britches and shown the cop face to fucking face.
Also a dude who wants a relationship? That dude has problems. A dude who wants a steady piece of ass? That’s healthy
All good points, I don’t get Red’s mindset either. He is a good person, kind heart, all that but yeah, how could one NOT act? What does that say to the kids? They literally are begging him for help and… 😦
His failure to act on the behalf of his flesh and blood means
He is lying about the events and therefore isn’t a good man
Or he is a usless pussy and therefore neither a good man or good at being a man
Also true it could be fabricated but I dunno, had you seen that girl, she literally regressed several years when he brother revealed all this the first time. I saw the fear and terror. I have seen the hardness these kids are getting since. I don’t doubt their story. The guy is creepy as hell, I do not get what Red’s ex sees in him. I wonder if they have some sort of Dom/sub thing going… but a black and dark version, dysfunctional… Who knows?
I’m with Ton on the lying. Or at least that there is something being withheld. I was considering the same thing. Something doesn’t seem quite right about this.
I’m gonna disagree with just about everyone here. Here is what Red needs to do: GIVE THE FUCK UP. He lost the battle long ago.
The ex and the abusive boyfriend and the cops and the lawyers and the judges hold ALL THE CARDS. Criminals all of them; Criminals and they have the power … and Red has NONE. Anything Red is going to do is end up just making things worse for himself. He goes over there and confronts the dude and given the dude is probably younger, stronger, military trained and as evidenced here a MEAN DRUNK. Red will get his ass kicked. Or he’ll show up with a gun and kill the dude. And then the cops will show up and arrest him and if he resists he get the shit kicked out of him again by the cops. Think a couple of DWI’s are bad … how about getting hit with 8 new charges 5 of which are Felonies and facing 200 yrs in prison. AFTER he gets out of the Hospital of course.
Our legal system is designed to FORCE PEOPLE TO PLEAD GUILTY regardless of whether they are guilty or not. They do not want trials … so, if he goes to trial he’ll be found guilty and probably get 300 yrs because the criminals that run CPS will be exposed as protecting the guilty and destroying children … so to make sure NO ONE WILL EVER TRY TO TAKE THINGS INTO THEIR OWN HANDS … WHEN CPS WON”T DO ANYTHING … THE JUDGE WILL MAKE SURE RED DIES IN PRISON BY GIVING HIM MORE THAN WHAT THE STATUES INDICATE. That, my friends, is how the system works.
But that won’t happen. What WILL HAPPEN … is Red’s lawyer will force him plead guilty to at least 1 FELONY WHICH INCLUDES DOMESTIC VIOLENCE and probably a couple of other minor things. He’ll get 10 YRS IN PRISON AND BE FORCED TO REGISTER AS A SEX OFFENDER FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE.
Think getting on with your life is difficult after a DWI … try being a CONVICTED FELON on the SEX OFFENDER REGISTRY ?????? Red will likely never work a real job again and will be competing with illegal immigrants to clean toilets. And that’s assuming that he has a place to live … which he won’t because NOBODY will rent a place to SEX OFFENDERS … and that’s assuming he had money to actually rent a place; which he won’t. And because he’s MALE … nobody will give a shit that he’s homeless and living on the street and drinks himself into oblivion with what little money he does get.
And that’s assuming he survives prison. He very well may if he’s young enough … but he will end up so emotionally twisted and fucked up in the head .. he’ll never be normal again.
That is the reality folks. If I was Red … I’d abandon my kids and move 1,000 miles away and start over. If the situation is as bad as it is made out to be … eventually the situation with the new boyfriend will melt down and get exposed. Red should just make sure that his kids always know he has an open door. And put himself in a situation far away that a door is available should they need it. And even if they never need it or want it … its better for him anyway. Just get the hell out of there.
In case you are wondering … this is similar to the MGTOW situation. If given the rules … you cannot win, society WILL NOT LET YOU WIN … you cut your loses and move on. If you CANNOT WIN … THEN DON”T PLAY THE GAME.
Checking out as a parent is bad. Being a deadbad dad as a parent is bad. BEING IN JAIL OR ENDING UP DEAD IS WORSE. Red should cut his loses … and get his ass out of there.
Just my 2ct worth.
Oh and in case anyone is wondering … had a great weekend with the new GF. I know that the only measure of success in a relationship is how things work over time … and its only been a short time. But seems we got over the screw up I made and things are looking good. We are going away for a short trip in about a month … going to see the Eclipse from right on the midpoint line … out in the middle of nowhere. Should be fun.
Thanks for adding that Mega. I do think he feels helpless, and truly the odds are stacked against him. Anything he does needs to be 100% legal bc he is still “in the system” bc of the DUI, and athing at all is go directly to jail time. He’s going to have to be strategic, if this is what he says. There is of course always the possibility it is not… hard to say.
Mega,
I am glad to hear that about your GF. From what you have said, she likes you, A LOT.
To echo some of what Mega has said, between feminism and the family court, we have become a default matriarchy. This is not good.
Somehow I am supposed to over through the govt but red ain’t supposed to save kids
You are fucked in the head
RPG … people like Red and most males … have no idea how the system REALLY works and how it is stacked against them. They can’t conceive of it. They are only doing the right thing … what any male would do … what any parent would do. What males have done for thousands of years …. HOW COULD THAT BE WRONG ??? If he’s saying the system is stacked against him … it’s 1,000 TIMES WORSE THAN HE THINKS. Trust me on this.
Being “strategic” doesn’t work. Be RIGHT doesn’t work. Being MORAL doesn’t work. DOING THE RIGHT THING DOESN”T WORK. Having the LAW behind you doesn’t work. Having the best lawyers doesn’t. Even having MONEY TO FIGHT THE CRIMINALS WHO CONTROL THE SYSTEM DOESN”T WORK. This is a fight he cannot win … the criminals who control the system WON”T LET HIM WIN.
In other news … OJ Simpson just got paroled after NINE YEARS IN PRISON. A MULTI MILLIONAIRE, FOOTBALL HERO and MOVIE STAR. Had the best lawyers on the planet and spent millions on his defense. HE THOUGHT HE WON. Did I mention … he just got out of prison… AFTER NINE YEARS. Oh and did I mention … HE”S BROKE. THEY WOULD NOT LET HIM WIN AND WOULD HOUND HIM TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH. He is 70 yrs old, a convicted felon now AND BROKE. They won. He didn’t. And I don’t care whether he did the original crime or not. I’m using it as an example.
See the criminals who control the system will not let men win. The system is designed to destroy men because men are a threat. Men will find back and must be kept down. And they don’t want their secret out. Because if the public knew what was really going on … it would be the French Revolution all over again. Every Judge, every Lawyer, every Probation Officer, every Cop, the cops families … the judges familes … the politicians … every city hall, every legislature. ALL OF THEM ALONG WITH THE MEDIA WHICH COVERS UP THESE CRIMES AND LIES TO THE PUBLIC.
If the public knew what SCUM THESE PEOPLE ARE … there would be a mass uprising and ALL OF THEM WOULD HAVE THEIR THROATS SLIT. The Guillotines brought out. The Hangman’s nooses. You don’t know this. And you deny this. Red doesn’t know this. And the readers of your blog will deny this. But this is ABSOLUTE FACT … THE CRIMINALS KNOW THIS ABSOLUTELY … BECAUSE ITS BEEN REPEATED THOUSANDS OF TIMES THROUGHOUT HISTORY. They know this … if Red is allowed to keep his kids and his lying cunt of an Ex and the abusive boyfriend are held accountable … the public would eventually figure it out. You know who created and empowered BOTH OF THEM ? Protected the Ex while she shit on Red. While she made bad choices and ruined her own kids and stole Red’s children and made him pay for them. So she could get an asshole BF to abuse them. KNOW WHO SET THIS ALL UP ??? YEAH … THE CRIMINALS DID. Know who kept it under wraps ? The media did. And then Red risked his life fighting against in the name of righteousness. HE”S THE HERO AND THE CRIMINALS WHO CONTROL OUR SOCIETY … THEIR SECRET CANNOT BE MADE PUBLIC, THERE LIVES ARE AT RISK AND THEY KNOW IT … AND THEY WILL STOP AT NOTHING TO PROTECT IT.
If Red continues on his path … as NAIVE AS HE IS … he will end up IN PRISON OR DEAD. It is a done deal. Been done thousands of times before over the last few decades. Nobody will care about Red. Nobody will know. The LIE will be preserved and the CRIMINALS WILL REMAIN IN POWER. Another man down … in a line of millions of men destroyed. AND NOBODY WILL GIVE A SHIT.
It terms of Red … if he ends up dead … he does his children no good. If he ends up in prison … in my example I said 10 years … that 10 yrs he is out of their live. Some father his is for disappearing for 10 years. And one of the lies the CRIMINALS don’t want you to know is that while in prison … Red would still be expected to support his children. Did you know that … Child Support doesn’t stop. So when he gets out (assuming he gets out alive) he will be tens of thousands of dollars in debt … CHILD SUPPORT HE CANNOT EVER PAY. A DEBTOR. A SLAVE. No job, no housing, no life, and THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IN DEBT. AND HE PAYS … OR GOES BACK TO PRISON.
As I said … this is a battle he cannot win. They will not let him win. From what you’ve said … NOBODY HAS TOLD HIM THE TRUTH ABOUT HOW THE SYSTEM REALLY WORKS. A real man walks away … and lives to fight another day. Fighting the system and ending up destroyed does nobody any good. Living to fight a day … perhaps, maybe, someday … when his children are older … they can reconnect and he can explain … and hopefully they will understand. Grasping at straws for sure … but better than ending up dead or in jail. The child’s mother is the one who set this in motion. So let that be his justification. She stole his children, she invited the BF into their lives, she set the stage for the abuse and participated in it. LET HER DEAL WITH IT; WALK AWAY AND FIGHT ANOTHER DAY … THIS IS WHAT RED SHOULD DO.
But he won’t. Because he has no idea what he’s dealing with. Most decent people cannot understand the nature of EVIL. And RPG … that is your problem here … you don’t understand that these people are EVIL. They will not allow Red to ever regain custody of his children. The sooner he realizes that … the better.
Mega
it is good that you are aware that the media/ courts / judges / police / politicians etc are criminals working together to destroy society.
Same story in every country in the westrn world.
But most are too deeply brainwashed to ever see this.
The OJ simpson case.is fake news
@ Ton it is in no way your problem, sorry if it seemed to imply that. It’s not really my problem either. As much as I want to help and will do what I can you are right, it’s Red’s problem to solve. He must step up to the plate, first and foremost.
True Mega, I think he actually may realize it, and perhaps that explains his approach?
Every time I hear admonitions to fight, and calls to “be a man” I can’t help but wonder where will these people be when the man takes the advice and fights. I know where they’ll be, on the sidelines shaking their heads saying crap like, “I told him to fight, not to kill…why didn’t he listen. The stupid man”
But you know where they won’t be. They won’t be standing their next to him when he goes to confront the “offender”. They’ll just wave him forward while they stand a safe distance away.
These go fight team types who complain that he ain’t being a real man if he don’t fight are paper tigers. All roar with no substance. Whats stopping these types from finding out where this guy lives and beating the shit our of him. Oh wait I know, it aint their fight. A real man fights his own fights the way they tell him to fight it, but they aint gonna fight it for him.
I’ve seen first hand what happens to a guy who is suffering through crap like this. It takes all the fight out of even the strongest among us. It’s easy to talk when your not in the thick of it. Just wait until it affects you personally and the world is calling you a pussy cause you aint “manning up”. That shit is frickin’ painful.
So the tough talkers sit around in a giant circle jerk with their buddies and wax manly with all their crap talk. So instead of tough talking, how about somebody open up their house, or pay this guys rent for a year while he gets straightened out.
I’ve done it. I’ve given to the family of a falsely accused man sent to prison to help them make house payments, buy food, etc for a year. Thousands out of my own savings committed to help my friend’s family. I even tried to get another guy to help and what did I hear. Crickets. The disloyal prick.
People like to preen with self important bullshit. But when comes to wiping the crap off an abscessed ass…well that’s jut gross. I have other things to do.
Roman – Just want to note that I never suggested that Red should go fight him. I said that *I* would do it if someone hit my son.
I did say that he shouldn’t do nothing at all. I don’t agree with ignoring the issue completely. I get the impression that he is either doing just that or that there is some part of the story that isn’t being told.
Mega, I want to ask you a personal question if you don’t mind. A lot of the things and situations you comment about, are these mostly from your own first hand experiences?
Actually, A Dad, my comment was directed towards Ton’s self serving commentary. Not anything you said.
Larry … short answer. Yes.
This has been going on for a year and the dad hasn’t done anything?!?! So horrible and traumatizing for those kids and just doesn’t make parental sense.
Ton’s right that the son should have shown the officer – but my husband (a Police Officer) is always the one who searches for evidence that there was abuse – he actually looks on their bodies for it and documents it with pictures. This is like … standard procedures!!!! So I don’t get why that hasn’t happened yet especially if the son called the police 😦
I’m so sorry Bloom, that must be horrible knowing what’s going on. But again… a year of this abuse and nothing’s been done? Just seems so neglectful!
Roman I am not sure Ton meant it that way. But the rest of what you say, there’s a sad truth to that. It’s easy to say “I would do this or that” but quite another to be the one facing it. Red is on probation, has already been rejected and shunned by people he thought were his friends, his ex seems to always come out smelling like roses. I personally thing the Glorious Patriarch Spawny had perhaps the best advice, get that shit on record, get the papers granting him full custody ready to sign, then let her decide — all over Facebook, front page of the paper, to the authorities? Or sign here and it all goes away so long as you stay in your box and behave. She’s already proven she will choose to save herself instead of her kids. I am sure she’d rather sign than have everyone find out the real truth. Sometimes when dealing with such people, you have to speak their language, so to speak. Beating up the boyfriend might be gratifying but it would just land Red in jail. Random strangers beating the guy up, who he didn’t see coming nor knows how to find them, now that could work but personally watching her house of cards collapse in front of her, seeing her sign away all rights, that may be sticking in the sweetest shiv of all…
Stephanie, Red’s watched a system supposedly set up to be fair and balanced and blind betray him. He may have a better grasp of reality of his options than I do. I wish those officers had looked closer. Imagine what message that sent to the son? There is no protection. Sadly, sometimes the kids who need help the most live in houses where people think all is well, while kids who are well living in bad houses get relocated unnecessarily. From what I understand, in my state anyway, these calls are not automatically reported to CPS. Perhaps had someone followed up, this could have been stopped a year ago? It’s sad all around. And please don’t misunderstand, I am not blaming the officers, just saying sometimes the worst people are the best actors. It must be hard to sort the truth from the fiction.
Stephanie,
I am making a guess based on what I remember when this was discussed last year. Red’s ex wife, the Witch, is the the branch manager where the city has its accounts. She is the cops’ banker and it is a very small town.
I remember reading somewhere that vindictive ex wives would prefer that their ex husbands just died and, yet, they want the the checks to keep coming. Could the Witch be maneuvering Red into losing custody? It seems to be working so far.
Roman Lance,
You should be promoted to primus pilus.
Yoda linked this over at Spawny’s. It has relevance here. This what government is doing while parent squabble in Divorce Court.
It is not enough that government proposes to be husband to all the women, they want to be parent to all the children.
Jail is just jail and Red is unlikely do much time if he got in a brawl with the marine. That what lawyers are for and 6 months house arrest would typically be the max for a 1st time assault beef.
A genric brawl wouldnt do much good becuase red is unlikeky to do any real harm but as we all said he has other options as well. Right now red has exercised none of them. If this is legit intell Red’s kids will loath him for doing nothing, and they should.
Schools are quick to call CPS and the buckle would do a lot of damage. A lot of damage. One would think someone at school would notice and they are required by law to report these things to CPS.
Standing in front of a judge and saying I hit him with my car because of these here photos will get the law fully on board in an investigation. Likely to get you 18 months plus probation too, no doubt but red has a laundry list of options before going to that point
A man doesn’t need folks holding his hand after he acts. This is not about what we owe red it’s about what red owes his get
…….
That comment was aimed at mega Bloom, not you. My comment to you is, his story doesn’t seem legit but kids do fall through the cracks, but you can always call CPS yourself
We may be getting entirely too serious here. I thought to share this. It may work for them.
@Fuzzie ” Roman Lance
You should be promoted to primus pilus”
I’m pretty sure I’m going to regret seeking an explanation for your bacteriological reference, but…
Prime Fringe…what? Not following.
The literal translation is “first spear”. It would apply to the top centurion, making the correlation to a modern equivalent impossible.
Ahhh. Gotcha. Thanks. Your definition does seem to stir some memories.
I did ask Red to bring the kids by when he has them next. I’d like to talk to the boy myself, ask him to send me notice when stuff is going down, have him document things, keeps some log of the situation, get him to take photos of any marks or bruises, get some discrete audio or video if possible. Right now I am hearing all this secondhand and there’s really no evidence. If he tells me directly, then I can call and make sure it’s reported if others aren’t going to do so. The kids are on summer break now, but I do know the son has talked to his school counselor and a report was made then. Perhaps it takes multiple reports, from multiple people, before it gets taken more serious? I dunno. But I do know proof is always better than hearsay. Right now I am only on the fringe…
It may be of benefit for the kids to just socialize. If they are abused, it is likely they are also isolated.
Also, the boyfriend apparently celebrated the boys 13th bday by getting him drunk for the first time
giving alcohol to a minor might be acted upon more so than the other stuff?
RPG,
That is very “old school”. I wouldn’t count it as abuse. Still, thirteen is too young.
… ” Right now red has exercised none of them. If this is legit intell Red’s kids will loath him for doing nothing, and they should.”
… “A man doesn’t need folks holding his hand after he acts. This is not about what we owe red it’s about what red owes his get”
Most valuable comments in the whole thread.