Tags
attraction, dating, marriage, red pill, relationships, sassy women
A colleague and I were talking yesterday, and among other things she was going on and on with pride about how all her friends say they love how she’s so bold, and sassy, and speaks her mind.
After she finally finished, I simply replied, “Yeah, but guys don’t like it.”
The look of shock on her face was priceless, and the idea that her behavior was working against her with men was obviously something she had never considered.
Finally, she stuttered something about how no guy had ever said anything like that. A brave man in the midst offered, “Why would they when they could just withdraw?”
And then the pink elephant in the room was suddenly highly visible. Because what does this gal complain about most in her marriage? That her husband is “checked out.” Yep.
Cause and effect. Put them together, sista!
Let those who have ears hear.
I work in an office full of women. Probably 95% women. And it’s not a small office building. The ones I avoid at all costs if possible are the “bold” and “sassy” ones. Lord, these poor women. Feminism is a mental disorder, I’m certain of it.
So many feminist-minded women think that men fear the whole notion of them being strong, and that when they’re ‘bold and sassy’ and we avoid them, we’re somehow not as ‘strong’ as they are, which is utter horseradish sauce. Any man who is a man keeps himself in check, because if he lets her really get to him, the result might just terrify her. And most of the time, with the relentless jabs of a ‘sassy’ woman, the only way to stay in check is to duck out, check out, and otherwise disengage.
“Why would they when they could just withdraw?”
And here’s a lesson. As a Red Pill man I am not afraid of a strong woman. In fact I want her. I want someone who can stand toe to toe with what the world will throw at us. I know how to handle a strong woman. The question is does she know how to deal with real masculine energy?
I don’t want someone who will argue with me. I don’t have time for that. I don’t need yet another combatant.
I don’t want someone who will point out every flaw. I see them. I know them. In myself and in my plan. I want someone who will roll up her sleeves and get to work.
Submitting to my frame, supporting my mission is utmost. I won’t withdraw. You’re just off the island and have lost access to awesome me.
I wonder if being “bold and sassy” is a form of female AMOGing, (Alpha Male Of the Group)? Men see enough of that from other men. Women shouldn’t add to to the social misery that makes men, and certain bears, want to withdraw to their caves.
No. Bold and a sassy is a shit test. Nothing more. Treat it as such.
“Sassy” seems more like an attribute for a child than an adult, and not a particularly likeable child at that. “Bold” can be a good thing, but people with genuine courage don’t generally go around talking about how bold they are…they just do what needs doing.
Good point, David! In fact I don’t even like sassy in a child.
I think people who have to proclaim they are sassy and speak their mind are usually just plain rude. And they justify being rude by saying that “I’m just being straightforward”. They are not strong. Not really. They just try to appear strong.
In my mind truly strong people don’t boast about their strength. They don’t have to.
LOL awesome in classical simplicity
People are more than people. They are often symbols of other people who we’ve met or who we know about.
This is why the groovy-but-poor musician often holds allure for women. It’s not just him she likes, but the ghost of Marley, Lennon, and Cobain that he evokes.
And this is why men avoid loud brassy women. It’s not just the women per se. It’s that they conjure old memories of the aggressive, nasty teachers, dominating mothers, and mean-spiriting, castrating cheerleaders.
Now here’s the catch. Even if we didn’t have those kinds of teachers, mothers, or cheerleader friends in our lives, we’ve seen their archetypes in movies, books, and TV. So we instinctively withdraw from them.
Moral: Male or female, when you put on a public face, consider not just how you’re coming across personally, but what kind of general persona you’re symbolizing. It might be something far more negative than you thought.
This gal happens to be on the bigger side, as well. Big and sassy, really NOT what guys are looking for!
Big and sassy? Guys do not like girls who present themselves as intimidating. Big Red could be a classic example. Men do like their pipe and slippers time. Even dogs understand this.
lemme see now; fat, a voice like breaking glass, loud, maybe some tasteful tats, multi colored short butch hair cut, deodorant free lifestyle…..what’s not to like about a normal feral female, RPG?
“People are more than people. They are often symbols of other people who we’ve met or who we know about.”
A really important point.
This made me think of you, Fuzzy
https://www.yahoo.com/news/man-gets-viciously-mauled-bear-084844911.html
Can we spell IDIOT slowly?
https://www.yahoo.com/news/man-gets-viciously-mauled-bear-084844911.html
Can we spell IDIOT slowly?
As much as women claim to spend all their time “thinking about their relationships”, they really don’t. And it’s obvious in how they save the savage cruelly for the men they proclaim to love the most. When a woman says she’s “thinking about him”. she’s really thinking about what she’s GETTING from him.
Sassy?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4760742/Mother-jailed-leading-police-120mph-chase.html
UK judges are world famous for handing down lenient sentences. This was different.
Bold and sassy is a personality type. It’s not a choice.
Contemplate whether an introvert could “choose” to be bold and sassy and successfully carry it off for five years.
Perhaps “built-in” it is.
But tone it down she might
A new post at Spawny’s there is
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2017/08/04/bvs-aqaintances/
https://a.disquscdn.com/uploads/mediaembed/images/1698/1839/original.jpg?w=800&h=1000
Mike drop.
What more needs to be said. Ever
If she’s being bitchy and unpleasant, yeah. No one likes that. But guys definitely don’t like the meek and mild “Um I don’t know, whatever you want” kind of girl either. Believe me, I spent my first 23 years being that girl and guys can’t stand it. You can have an opinion and go about it confidently and classy and it be be received well. Sass if done in a light and humorous way,(not insulting) is also good around men.
Ash…Maybe it’s just a matter of terminology….I think of ‘sass’ as something different from having opinions or kidding around back and forth. Also, per Richard’s comment about personality types, I know extremely extroverted people (women, in particular) who I wouldn’t call sassy.
Just thinking about this. No real conclusions:
Bold and Sassy: to a limited extent, if it’s in the service of the family unit, it could be a good thing. If it’s aimed within the family unit, got no time for that. I suspect that Bold and Sassy is a defense. It uses the fact that few will fight back when it’s coming from a woman and it works like a force field. Sooner or later many get carried away with the power of being able to dish it out without having to take it.
It can be used to hide self image problems. A sometime co-worker for sure does this though she keeps it under control. She’s very competent (a senior corporate VP) but she has an awkward imbalance of assets in the looks department and she’s probably compensating in a way that also helps her keep control of her department. I work with her not for her so it’s not something I have to deal with … in fact sometimes it ends up being in service of my family unit!
On the other hand, I’ve been around some communities known for their Bold and Sassy women and did like the fact that they seemed unafraid of men. There is nothing I dislike more than being around women who constantly terrified, timid, thinking they may be harmed or have been harmed. Many years ago I spent some time in Australia (though, as I understand it, the culture has changed some) and one thing I liked about many of the Aussie women is that they would stand up to gaff from the guys with no princessy “I’m special ’cause I’m a girl” attitude. Push and you got pushed back, no complaints about bullying, no going behind your back. Those gals skinned their own game. Of course it might have been the type of women I was working with too. Movie crews are like carnies.
A couple of ladies I dated when I was in LA dropped a “You have to realize, I’m just a little force of nature,” line on me early on in the relationship. This was ALWAYS a warning that they were going to Sh*t Test me half to death. The first time was a learning experience, after that it was clear sign to not get the least bit emotionally involved; don’t buy into anything you can’t walk away from. Years later I’m sure both of them considered themselves Sassy … the were announcing it right up front
Sassy is most likely a Sh*t Test aimed at everyone, men and women alike … but I’ve rarely seen it aimed only at men, it seems to be used as a way of maintaining a momentum of advantage in groups of women too. It’s a way of getting inside your OODA loop and disrupting it.
All good points. And actually this gal is funny and I like her, so she’s not just a screeching harpy by any means. But she can be a bit much at times, and could reign things in a tad. It may come from insecurity in her case, like trying to be the confident gal she really doesn’t feel, rather than being like Big Red where she’s trying to be really in your face and doesn’t care at all, even enjoys the conflict. And I agree, the passive doormat approach isn’t so great either, I am certainly not advocating that. For example, in real life I can be a HUGE smack talker, in a fun joking way, very dry sense of humor, and it works with guys because while it’s not passive it’s also not aimed at them, it’s more razzing along with them. And I am careful to read the body language and dial it up or down according to the response. Some guys I know will verbally spar in jest, almost trying to out smack talk or up the ante, matching wits and it’s all in good fun. With others I am more reserved. In her case it’s more “snap snap you go gurrrrl” and while her gal pals may urge it on, I do think it’s working against her in her marriage and likely w guys in general. They mostly tune her out, stop listening. Worth her reflecting on, anyway.
Larry G.,
I finally saw your comment. YouTube had an age restriction on the video, so I didn’t see it. It requires me to sign in. Still the article gave me enough to have some idea. Why would someone torment an animal bigger than them with a voracious appetite with food? He could have just given the bear food and they would have been friends for life.
RPG,
It may be costing her in her personal relations. People would prefer to be comfortable than defensive.
“If she’s being bitchy and unpleasant, yeah. No one likes that. But guys definitely don’t like the meek and mild “Um I don’t know, whatever you want” kind of girl either. Believe me, I spent my first 23 years being that girl and guys can’t stand it. You can have an opinion and go about it confidently and classy and it be be received well. Sass if done in a light and humorous way,(not insulting) is also good around men.”
I agree Ash, I would be typed or categorized as one of the “meek and mild” girls in many ways especially to outsiders – , but my husband actually loves my spunk and girlish flirty attitude of teasing him – and he teases me tons. Anyway, I understand what you mean. There are probably different levels of what this is talking about
How are you doing Ash? I’m still so sorry about your mom 😦
Here’s one that everyone can watch. No human got hurt.
Indeed, there is a big difference between spunky vs. sassy. Guys like spunk a lot more than sass.
Spunky pandas?
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A relationship is for making each other feel better, not for your own ego boost. Women seem to be using anything they can to get an ego boost because girl power.